Online relationships - Long Distance

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Online relationships - Long Distance

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Online relationships - Long Distance

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 9:01:16 PM

Snappingfingers

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline

I would be very interested in hearing what everyone thinks about long distance relationships which go on for a long time texting, or on phone?

Who has had them where it has turned out successful?

Thank you,

Snappingfingers.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 9:16:34 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Welcome to collarme.

I have not had good luck with them. The extra dimension of touch and being in the presence of another is just too intoxicating to do without.

I have had a couple of relationships that began LDR and then she relocated here. But a relationship without a chance of being RL... I couldn't.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Snappingfingers)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 11:20:44 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

I spent the first two years of my relationship with the man who is now my husband in a LDR. We lived over 250 miles apart and only got to see each other for a weekend every couple of months. The rest of our contact was through phone, email, and instant messages. (This was before texting was popular.) I really don't think we would still be together if we hadn't done the long-distance thing first. Don't misunderstand; it was hard and we came close to breaking up more than once. However, by the time we were able to move in together, we knew our relationship could survive anything.

We'll celebrate eight years together at the end of July.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 11:22:36 PM

sirssubk2008

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/1/2011
Status: offline

I've tried LDRs before...it worked for a time. Overall, I don't think they work for most people.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 11:26:02 PM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

It's usually monumentally infeasible and is more borne out of a wish than a reality.

If you're not on the same continent and you enter into this nonsense, you're probably insane.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to sirssubk2008)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 11:32:19 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

They are possible, and can be just as deep and meaningful as any other, from my experience. But at the same time, as DarkSteven said, it's far better if relocation is possible. I've been in a couple LDR/Online relationships for, up to 4+ years now others for 2ish. Some considerations and compromises have to be made of course, but, if one is willing to work with the situation (and it is far more difficult in many ways than a "traditional" relationship), it's well worth it.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Awareness)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 11:39:25 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I'm a masochist. LDRs in my own personal experience have sucked bit style. I get ZERO fun out of smacking myself about, even if someone else is directing me.

If I'm in a relationship I want snuggles, cuddles and lots of bruises given to me by him. Oh, and lots of really hot, nasty sex.

History has shown me that LDRs do not give me enough of any of that.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to BKSir)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/26/2011 11:40:05 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

My Owner and I were long distance for the first year and a half, and then I moved to be with him 6 months ago. It can work, if you are willing to do a lot of traveling, but good communication is needed.

owned xxx

(in reply to Snappingfingers)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 12:44:50 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Let's see........

Long distance, huh? Well, I had a husband deployed to Korea. That kind of sucked. Then, My sub went to Afghanistan. That pretty much sucked, too. I'm not divorced and I've still got the sub, so I guess it was successful. Is that what you wanted to know?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 2:04:44 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

I have found that in a 'real time and in the same place' relationship you can feel like you are a million miles and numerous time zones appart
and in a fantasy cyber on-line only thing you might be totally on the same wave length as your partner...
the important part is to get something out of it whether it is skin to skin or in the mind only

(in reply to Snappingfingers)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 2:45:48 AM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

Master and I were LDR for more than a year. He has since moved across the country to be with me, and we are still together. It can work, but you have to work at it. It also helps if you both enjoy writing. :) Master and I spent many nights IM'ing back and forth for hours.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 4:13:44 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

We were ldr for almost four years, aimed at seeing each other every three weeks but it worked out to be closer to six. And one winter not for three months, as it snowed every time we planned to see each other.

Then he got a transfer to near me and we've been together ever since. So my experiences, and everyone else's offer proof that it is not monumentally infeasible.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to HisEvelyn)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 8:09:55 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

It's usually monumentally infeasible and is more borne out of a wish than a reality.

If you're not on the same continent and you enter into this nonsense, you're probably insane.

lol i am insane! Yay!

N and i met at a time when neither of us really were ready for an offline relationship nor was there ever any plans of doing so. After 3 years we finally met. He came to canada from england a couple of times before moving here. Things were a bit tumultuous through the change but they are good. Different but good. So yes they can happen. I think both people have to be intensely mentally stimulated and have that affinity.

Oh and it helps if you are insane.

(in reply to Awareness)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 8:20:49 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snappingfingers

I would be very interested in hearing what everyone thinks about long distance relationships which go on for a long time texting, or on phone?

Who has had them where it has turned out successful?

Thank you,

Snappingfingers.

Raises hand...

Wasn't even a BDSM board but a computer related board, we argued about different programming languages, he thought I was a guy, then a gay guy because I mentioned an ex boyfriend, then there was a geek meet and he offered to pick me up from the airport, said he'd wear a spiderman shirt. He was a bit surprised when I showed up and gave him a hug but not unpleasantly so (since it's Europe I didn't think he had a gun in his pocket), we clicked, we had a long distance relationship for a while with plenty of visits, then about 4 years ago I accepted to be transferred to the UK, we bought a house together and now have some pets and are quite happy. We occasionally argue but overall it's not all bad...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Snappingfingers)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 9:04:29 AM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

I am in a very successful long distance relationship. We live about 200 miles apart. We met online (IRC) about five and a half years ago. We chatted online and in email and texted for about three weeks (and with one short 10 minute phone call) before we met. The first week of that was really just chit chat - I think a week into it she asked if I would like to meet. For the week prior we were just two folks in a fetish chat room who hit it off in private messages. We had never spoken to one another "in channel" until she pm'ed me one evening. We would have met sooner but it was December and everything was so hectic around the holidays that we had to wait a few weeks.

We see each other every other weekend on average. It's only a three hour or so drive - all interstate. We will eventually be together. For the time being we each have separate responsibilities in our separate states. Long distance relationships are obviously not for everyone but they can work. I think it's made our relationship stronger and also we really value the time that we are able to spend together. If you find someone for whom you will endure a long distance relationship for hang onto them. Tightly.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Snappingfingers)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 9:26:17 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

13 years so far

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to DomImus)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 9:30:49 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

It's usually monumentally infeasible and is more borne out of a wish than a reality.

If you're not on the same continent and you enter into this nonsense, you're probably insane.

This

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Awareness)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 12:36:34 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

There are approximatively 4 million ppl within a 45 min drive of where I live I'd much rather exhaust the local supply of bitches before I went to plan z. Sit on the computer and type endlessly to someone I can't touch. I dare say most of these ppl that did the whole LDR thang were just to lazy to get out from behind the CPU and do the whole real life thing.

It's far easier to sit on your fat ass and type to ppl than to actually go out be active, do fun stuff and gasp meet ppl. It comes as no surprise that something like 70 percent of good ole USA are fat. So you keep sitting round the puter eating chips while watching yourself get to be Good Year blimp size and let me know how the LDR thing works out for ya.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to crazyml)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 12:51:03 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

wrong, but dont let your ignorance get in the way of that dear chap

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to SailingBum)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Online relationships - Long Distance - 5/27/2011 1:02:41 PM

ParappaTheDapper

Posts: 190
Joined: 4/28/2011
Status: offline

Listen, long distance is a long shot but if you and your beloved are determined and tenacious and really in love, it can work out. If you can visualize it, you can actualize it. I'm a romantic at heart and I've always put my money on the long shots!

Well that was a bald faced lie. I rarely if ever put my money on the long shot...I mean that's basically just throwing money away! Sometimes I do, sure, but it takes a pretty special case....

But I'm digressing. In all candor, I've had long distance relationships and none of them have ever "worked" in the sense that they turned out to be the love of my life. They have, however, all "worked" in the sense that we learned to communicate, had some good times, and grew a little bit together. Isn't that, ultimately, what relationships are all about? It requires extra work and a special skill set from both parties, but there is no reason a long distance relationship can't be an enriching experience!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snappingfingers

I would be very interested in hearing what everyone thinks about long distance relationships which go on for a long time texting, or on phone?

Who has had them where it has turned out successful?

Thank you,

Snappingfingers.

_____________________________

You can't say A is made of B, or vice versa. All mass is interaction--Feynman

...and if you missed it, I'm the one who said "Just grab 'em in the biscuit"--either Feynman or Humpty Hump, I forget

(in reply to Snappingfingers)

Profile

Post #: 20