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PeonForHer -> RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. (6/7/2011 12:56:12 PM)
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quote:
It may be that femdom/malesub dynamics, rather than Dom/femsub dynamics, focus more exclusively on the *desire* to dominate, or be dominated.
quote:
Why would femdom/malesub dynamics focus more exclusively on the desire to dominate, or be dominated, than dom/female sub? I know you weren't stating it as fact. I agree the desire is primal in both. I also know, I've never felt the desire to be dominated. I have desired male dominants, but not as my dominants... Simply as gentlemen.
M,
I think the *desire* to dominate, or be dominated, might come more into focus in the context of femdom/malesub dynamics because the issue of physical force can't be as relevant. With a femdom, I literally 'give up' my physical strength. It'd be senseless for me to do otherwise. But does that mean that what happens between me and the femdom is purely 'mental'?
No, I should say not. After giving up my physical strength, I see her own physical strength coming out, being released: her sweat, her flared nostrils and snarls; her gloating, gritted teeth and spitting, her biting . . . Now, it'd be silly to call all that 'mental' rather than 'physical'. Of course it's physical. And of course it's what I want to see, and enjoy.
The big difference between femdom/malesub and Dom/femsub is that in the latter case, the femsub could get off on the fact that Dom could, if he wanted to, force her with his muscles. But that, it seems to me, is the only practical difference, and even that is a kind of force that only hovers in the background, as a suggestion and an implicit thing. Doms don't ordinarily go around actually *using* that muscular strength to force a woman entirely against her will. I don't get the feeling that Focus does, either. It's just there, as a possibility, and something that a femsub and a Dom can get off on.
Could a Domme have her equivalent of that muscular strength, over a malesub? Yes, I think so. She just uses a bit of guile to make up for the muscular difference. I'll say it again and again: humans, of either sex, don't get their real strength from their muscles. They get their strength from their brains. You tie me up, you could do awful things to me that I wouldn't want. Likewise if you even stole my clothes or my credit card. Piece of cake . . . .
But I don't think that this is giving Focus what he wants to hear. I think that his position is somewhere between the *genuine question of* "So, how do femdoms get off on this, given that they lack the physical strength* and the jovial comment of "They *can't* get off on this, because they don't have the physical strength". I'll assume that his position is the former, though, because otherwise this argument is all a waste of time . . . .
But even given that assumption: I can't tell Focus what a femdom feels. I can tell him just why and how a dominant woman can exert what feels, to me, like a powerful physical force over me. Her dominance will drive a wedge through my sense of reason and make my knees weak. Screw reason - if I were reasonable, I'd never have had such sub feelings in the first place. I see the power of her femininity, I love it, and I want to yield to it. From the knees upward, you might say.
But I can't tell Focus what the femdom complement of that is. In that respect, I'll be blunt: I don't know what a femdom feels, either. I can only guess, on the basis of the faces and the bodies of women who I've 'read' in the past. Presumably, he doesn't want the info from me, second hand. Whether a femdom is able to convey such feelings to him, even if she were to want to, is something else again.
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