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ElanSubdued -> RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. (6/4/2011 3:50:14 PM)
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Focus50,
quote:
Focus50 to HeatherMcLeather:
The only contradiction (if any) is a matter of Dom vs Domme control perspective. As that Domme said, she controls through the knowledge she can stop anytime she chooses. But the same sex act in my D/s (and probably every male Dom's D/s), the fem/sub doesn't get to choose.
Your submissive is continuously choosing. She chooses to be with you. She chooses to allow you to do the things you do to her. She presumably appreciates who you are and trusts your personage. These choices are ongoing and not, as some BDSM psychology purports, one-time choices.
quote:
Focus50 to LadyConstanze:
I mean, the male sub servicing his Domme doggy-style has exactly the same choice to quit prematurely. And, I've yet to meet a sub who was content making choices.
I'm a male submissive and I make choices all the time. This is part of what I bring to myself and to my partner. In the context of D/s, even during play, I make many choices dynamically and organically. Just to be topical, I especially appreciate the view and variety of mutual pleasure options from the "doggie-style" position so I might do things to entice my domme's desire this way - that is... given that I know she enjoys this. Is she aware I'm flirting to push her "yes, I need that NOW" buttons? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't really care whether she's cognisant or not, though it's likely, if we know each other well, that we each know what pushes specific sexual buttons in the other. What I'm mostly focused on is supporting my partner's dominance and on helping us enjoy each other. To do this, I frequently make choices in reaction to my domme and to initiate discussions/activities with my domme.
Let's bring this back to you and the partner you described. She "likes it rough" and, by the sounds of what you described, also likes being objectified. You sometimes like using your partner sexually as "available meat", with no eye contact and no verbal softness - just bend her over doggie-style, stick it in, and go. On the surface, it may appear this is a one-sided transaction. But anyone experienced with D/s (which I know you are) knows this is a complex interaction in which both partners are communicating, meeting each other's needs, and getting their own needs met.
In my own version of this, my headspace is likely different than yours and my domme's headspace may be different than yours too. But, the result is the same. My domme and I are communicating, meeting each other's needs, and getting our own needs met. So yes, with a domme who enjoys it, doggie-style is most definitely on the menu and my partner usually makes sure I know this because she is, after all, dominant. :-)
Elan.
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