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RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 9:31:26 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

My words pale in comparison to my voice


I can attest to that. *fans herself*


So how is my "protector" doing? For those who don't get the joke, Ishtarr is my "protector" on that other kink site.


Thank you.  My day was incomplete without another answer to a question nobody asked.


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RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:09:55 AM   
Kana


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quote:

I know that there are others out there who are quite happy to indulge the wants that their partner(s) have. For them, it's not about 'bowing' down to the submissive partner...it's about being fulfilled by indulging the other.


Can I get an Amen....


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RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:11:46 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

I know that there are others out there who are quite happy to indulge the wants that their partner(s) have. For them, it's not about 'bowing' down to the submissive partner...it's about being fulfilled by indulging the other.


Can I get an Amen....



LAWD!


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"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Kana)
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RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:15:14 AM   
Awareness


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Status: offline 		  FR

You think you're a judgmental bastard?  Try this:  Three hole slut isn't worth my time.  I'm not into damaged women with no self-respect.  I prefer bright, self-aware women who are interested in growth and curious to learn.

Sometimes shit isn't about kink, it's just that some people are seriously fucked up.


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Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:40:45 AM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

  FR

You think you're a judgmental bastard?  Try this:  Three hole slut isn't worth my time.  I'm not into damaged women with no self-respect.  I prefer bright, self-aware women who are interested in growth and curious to learn.

Sometimes shit isn't about kink, it's just that some people are seriously fucked up.



Have you ever heard of "your kink isn't my kink but that doesn't mean your kink isn't okay"?

Some people probably think you are a fucked up control freak who needs mental help to deal with his issues. Now I am not saying I think that is true, but it is as common of a perception as yours about people who enjoy group sex.

It ain't my thang, but I do not think it makes a person flawed because they enjoy it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:44:55 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Awareness is kinda incendiary, julia, but i think, for the most part, a lot of his posts can be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes he makes good points, too.

for the record, i don't believe all "3-hole sluts" (is that a new category for collarme? cause i'll totally sign on haha) are damaged goods without self respect. frankly, i think a lot of women would be sluttier if their reputations wouldn't suffer for it. =p i, for one, have a boatload of gangbang fantasies, but i'm also pretty well-rounded, intelligent, open-minded, curious, and eager to learn. they aren't mutually exclusive states of being. =p


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Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:47:54 AM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

Awareness is kinda incendiary, julia, but i think, for the most part, a lot of his posts can be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes he makes good points, too.

for the record, i don't believe all "3-hole sluts" (is that a new category for collarme? cause i'll totally sign on haha) are damaged goods without self respect. frankly, i think a lot of women would be sluttier if their reputations wouldn't suffer for it. =p i, for one, have a boatload of gangbang fantasies, but i'm also pretty well-rounded, intelligent, open-minded, curious, and eager to learn. they aren't mutually exclusive states of being. =p



I think it really boils down to what someone's intention is, behind whatever classification they put themselves in.  And you can't really get that from a basic profile.


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(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:54:04 AM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

for the record, i don't believe all "3-hole sluts" (is that a new category for collarme?


No, it is not a new CM designation... it is catchy, isn't it?


quote:

frankly, i think a lot of women would be sluttier if their reputations wouldn't suffer for it. =p i, for one, have a boatload of gangbang fantasies, but i'm also pretty well-rounded, intelligent, open-minded, curious, and eager to learn. they aren't mutually exclusive states of being. =p


I have those fantasies too, but the reality would never match it, and I am terrified of diseases like herpes and AIDS... no fantasy is worth that.

Also, I tend to be attracted to men that wouldn't like it. I have issues with having a man that would share me... I like that feeling that they are at least a little possessive and protective. Kinda antithetical to living it out in reality. And I have lived out so many of my other fantasies, having that one has a taboo kinda leaves one thing that can be thought about that is just fantasy. In other words, the reality hasn't and never will ruin it for me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 12:00:58 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		haha i know what you mean =p i both appreciate and bristle at possessiveness/protectiveness in men. =p but i also don't think protectiveness and gangbangs are mutually exclusive.
haha "gangbangs" is such a funny word. =p

ANYWHO, i'm absolutely TERRIFIED of diseases, which is the primary reason i have yet to live out any of those fantasies. =p


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"Obey your Master." Metallica


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Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 12:31:10 PM   
Awareness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Have you ever heard of "your kink isn't my kink but that doesn't mean your kink isn't okay"?
  Of course, but that doesn't mean I subscribe to it.  I also think that labeling something as kink doesn't prevent it from being severe dysfunction.

quote:

Some people probably think you are a fucked up control freak who needs mental help to deal with his issues. Now I am not saying I think that is true, but it is as common of a perception as yours about people who enjoy group sex.
  If those people were stable, insightful and emotionally healthy, I'd have something to think about - generally in this forum, they aren't.  Besides, it's not about group sex, it's about being easy.  Why the fuck would I want to expend my time and energy on a woman with a poor selection criteria who just wants to fuck anyone?  I can find one of those on the street.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 12:51:54 PM   
ranja


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Why the fuck would I want to expend my time and energy on a woman with a poor selection criteria who just wants to fuck anyone?  I can find one of those on the street.


i am not to be found on the street (anymore)
also that i might want to fuck anybody does not mean that i actually will...
just that i could... its because i am a slut really... and that is exactly why men who notice want to expend time and energy on me

(in reply to Awareness)
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RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 3:27:13 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

Besides, it's not about group sex, it's about being easy.  Why the fuck would I want to expend my time and energy on a woman with a poor selection criteria who just wants to fuck anyone?  I can find one of those on the street.


Do you see a difference between a woman going to a sex club and yelling "Next" versus saying "Sure!" if her SO says wouldn't it be fun if his friend and cousin joined in?

(in reply to Awareness)
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RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 3:28:37 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

I hope I never come off like that. There used to be an entire subset of people who posted here that that M/s was the end all be all of relationships, even posting things about how it requires "more trust" than other sorts of relationships, etc. Which is just laughable to me. What I mean by it being a relational style (for me) is that I am not engaging in it for a sexual turn on, but that it is how I relate to my partner... nothing more, nothing less.


When the sex is so much more mind blowing, it's hard for me to not put BDSM on a pedestal.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 3:47:10 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

Awareness is kinda incendiary, julia, but i think, for the most part, a lot of his posts can be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes he makes good points, too.

for the record, i don't believe all "3-hole sluts" (is that a new category for collarme? cause i'll totally sign on haha) are damaged goods without self respect. frankly, i think a lot of women would be sluttier if their reputations wouldn't suffer for it. =p i, for one, have a boatload of gangbang fantasies, but i'm also pretty well-rounded, intelligent, open-minded, curious, and eager to learn. they aren't mutually exclusive states of being. =p



Yeah, but you're not actively seeking gangbangs from random men.  These women are. 

They are pretty much dredges and should not be shocked to be viewed as such.








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Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 6:22:42 PM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

If those people were stable, insightful and emotionally healthy, I'd have something to think about - generally in this forum, they aren't.  Besides, it's not about group sex, it's about being easy.  Why the fuck would I want to expend my time and energy on a woman with a poor selection criteria who just wants to fuck anyone?  I can find one of those on the street.


I know of people I respect in the real world that just don't get what it is that we do, and they are emotionally healthy

On the other hand I have friends that do get what it is that we do, and even though they aren't into it for themselves they can understand why I find it to be sexy... most of my friends know about my proclivities, and two married couples that I know wanted to go dungeon hopping with me in Southern California out of intellectual curiosity and to be supportive of me....

As far as easy v not easy.... I had a friend that was a swinger, she and her partner were VERY picky about whom they played with... probably more picky than you. Many people in the swing lifestyle act like they are dating other couples... meet several times for cocktails, dinner, etc etc etc, before they play at all. I was amazed at the effort involved in finding other people to swing with them. They were all about the wining and the dining and the wooing. And the people they played with had to be at least as hot as they were, as well as have a good relationship, good jobs, good hygiene...


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 7:10:43 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

Yeah, but you're not actively seeking gangbangs from random men.  These women are. 

They are pretty much dredges and should not be shocked to be viewed as such.


Who are "these women" that you speak of?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 10:20:46 PM   
HannahLynHeather


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quote:

Do you see a difference between a woman going to a sex club and yelling "Next" versus saying "Sure!" if her SO says wouldn't it be fun if his friend and cousin joined in?
no. they both are unafraid of their sexual desires. miss "next!" is no cheaper or lesser a woman or person than mother fucking theresa for christ's sake. she just knows what she likes. why does fucking have to be something precious. why is it wrong to simply want to be fucked without the emotional attachments. its better with the emotions but its still fucking fun without it. sex is like the oil business; when its good its really fucking great, when its bad, its still pretty fucking good.

i am fucking amazed that this attitude exists on a website full of self-proclaimed sluts. i'm confused by the prudishness in this particular circumstance. it brings to mind a quote by mason cooley "Self-righteousness is the most shameless slut of all."

now to the op's premise
i'm sorry to all those who, as lilly puts it, place d/s on a pedestal, but your full of it. claiming that it is not sexual in nature is simply untrue. you're lying to yourself. you do it because it gets you off. d/s is simply fucking. sure fucking with your brains rather than your crotch, but still fucking. you do it because it feels good, it makes you happy. like heather said in another thread a while back; it's an internal mental fuck.

it doesn't have to be a physical reaction to be a sexual reaction. your fucking brain is your most powerful sex organ. heather gets physically turned on by subbing, by being a slave. i get physically turned on by bottoming. dominating heather (not meaning the actual physical sex or play) doesn't give me orgasms, it doesn't get me wet, but it is erotic, it is sexual.

you know how when you have really fucking star-spangled sex, the way the next morning you feel amazing, the whole world is wonderful, and you feel like nothing can bug you, that you can face whatever comes? that's what being in a d/s relationship is like. that's why you say it feels right. it gives your brain the same fucking boost as a really good fuck the night before. that feeling of physical, mental, and emotional contentment and well being.

when you say its just the type of relationship that you feel comfortable in, think back to the first time... fucking wow! right? that's because you were experiencing it as the sexual thing it is. the fact that its become merely comfortable is the same reason married couples have comfortable sex lives. its become the norm, its really nice, but it no longer gives you that "i had my brains fucked out" feeling. so its still sex, its just boring sex, so you don't think of it that way any more.


hannah lynn

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RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 10:40:45 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

it doesn't have to be a physical reaction to be a sexual reaction. your fucking brain is your most powerful sex organ. heather gets physically turned on by subbing, by being a slave. i get physically turned on by bottoming. dominating heather (not meaning the actual physical sex or play) doesn't give me orgasms, it doesn't get me wet, but it is erotic, it is sexual.


What if it isn't sexual most of the time, but emotional, an emotional satisfaction? I am not sexually aroused all of the time, but when I am in a relationship, I am always submissive.

quote:

when you say its just the type of relationship that you feel comfortable in, think back to the first time... fucking wow! right? that's because you were experiencing it as the sexual thing it is. the fact that its become merely comfortable is the same reason married couples have comfortable sex lives. its become the norm, its really nice, but it no longer gives you that "i had my brains fucked out" feeling. so its still sex, its just boring sex, so you don't think of it that way any more.


Marriage is not all about sex, it is about paying bills, having wee ones, and meeting obligations.. it is a way to structure an intimate relationship. Married people sometimes have sex, but it is more about family than about sex....


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:10:09 PM   
Awareness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Do you see a difference between a woman going to a sex club and yelling "Next" versus saying "Sure!" if her SO says wouldn't it be fun if his friend and cousin joined in?
  No.  I don't.  It turns pussy into a commodity that can be shared around, bought and sold.  I've got a news flash for you.  If your pussy is a commodity, then guys don't value it.  And if a guy doesn't value it, he doesn't value you.

I'm astonished by women's naivete on this point.  If your pussy is a hole which can be fucked by anyone, then we WILL look for something more fucking challenging.  We will chase the bitch who thinks her pussy is gold simply because we know it hasn't been ploughed by a hundred others.  This is basic fucking evolutionary psychology in action.

Human beings value that which is rare.  I'm getting really tired of trying to pound this specific point into the thick skulls of people who just don't get it.  That's why difficult, asshole men whose approval is really fucking hard to get are swooned over by women - precisely because women also value that which is rare.  And getting a compliment from a man who is really sparing with them is much more highly valued than a compliment from a man who gives them out like fucking bon-bons at a MILF convention.

The three-holed slut is easy and cheap.  Not interested.  And any man with an ounce of self-respect will tell you exactly the same thing.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

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Profile   Post #: 139
RE: Full Control - 6/13/2011 11:13:02 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I wonder at the evolutionary psychology of this being like the 10 ten fantasy amongst women....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 140
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