LadyPact
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I almost feel that this original has more disclaimers associated with it than discussion topic. I'll be putting those up in italics as I go along.
Let Me begin with I have no dog in this hunt. There's no vested interest on My part on what other people do. If a person searches for a D, s, third, a play partner, a fuck buddy, or anything else that they are 'seeking' on the net, it doesn't impact Me in the slightest. Believe it or not (shuddup) I'm creating this post in hopes that it will help other people.
I did consider putting this in the Mistress section. Being a female Dominant, My interest on this subject sparked from that perspective.
My research is sketchy at best. I'll explain this one as I go along.
Now I can get to the actual topic, which is based on a variety of topics. Why don't women answer mail? Why is it so hard for people to find what they are looking for? Why are they called "unicorns"? Why are there so many pros on the site? Basically, the common rants that everybody is used to around here.
My position about this is that it's always been about the numbers. BDSM is not a 1:1 ratio between the genders. Not between the sides of the kneel. It's not even close to the rest of the planet. There has always been an imbalance in the kink world. Nobody knows exactly what those numbers and ratios really are because there's no way to track them.
Being curious about this, I went for the only potential research possibility that was available. That being, new users who sign up to the site. At random (basically when I felt like it) I changed My criteria on My home page to check out some numbers. Even I, who has been talking about the imbalance of numbers for years, was surprised at the result.
Criteria male submissive, any age, any race, any sexual orientation, with USA as a country consistently brings roughly a hundred new members to this site in a twenty-four hour period. (Before anybody complains that I'm not factoring for 'gay', I'm roughly balancing that out with the fact that I'm not adding the 'slave' category to that number. I'm also not adding in those who have TV/TG checked.) In those same twenty-four hour periods, the average number of Dominant women who joined the site in the same day was roughly ten. Without starting a bunch of crap about scammers, who is 'real and true' or not, etc, the number was really more like eight. Since I wasn't willing on each of these occasions to read through the hundred males profiles to see who was just here fantasizing, etc, we'll leave it at a ratio of 10:1.
(I didn't figure in poly in all of this. Did no additional research for switches. Too much work.)
Now, even if this were fairytale land where every woman who was 'seeking' found a partner, think about the bad side of that math for a second. Those ten women find their ten male submissives and ninety are left over. That means the next day, it's 190 male submissives trying to be selected by the next day's ten Dominant women. Over time, the ratio just gets worse and worse. It absolutely sucks from the male submissive perspective.
Male Dominants/female submissives the numbers are a better picture. Not great, but not even half as bad. The best ratio day you had was roughly 4:3, which was a real spike compared to the other days I looked. Generally, it was more like 5:3 and that's not accounting for all of the 'fake' profiles that I've heard you complain about over the years. Start thinking about roll over and I'm going to tell you straight out that I'm glad that I'm not in your shoes.
Poly folks looking for a bi-sexual submissive female willing to join a couple? Ha! Wasn't touching it. Too much work. Sorry.
The point of this long winded thing is that I have never seen numbers this bad when attending munch groups. No, it's not 1:1, but it sure as hell isn't as bad as 10:1 (and worse as time goes on). Male Doms, it's not as bad, but it's the same principle. If you really want to find what you're looking for, you might want to think about improving your odds by adding other venues than *just* the net.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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