RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (Full Version)

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HannahLynHeather -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:01:51 PM)

you know otter, i'm starting to feel the same fucking way. here we are on page 22 and i'm still being told i hate men, or that i'm wrong, or that i'm basing my opinion on a very skewed sample. i have repeatedly refuted the first and explained that its not hatred, its fear and distrust, expressed a desire to prove to myself that the second is true, and have admitted and agreed with the third. and yet, the same three points keep being made, often by the same fucking people.

i started this thread as a favour to heather to explain where the fuck i was coming from, and that i was working to overcome that. i've done that plenty often enough, and i'm done. i'm simply going to pay no more fucking attention to any more of those posts, not because they are invalid, but because i've dealt with those points over and over.

if anybody has anything constructive to say, some helpful suggestions as to things that might help, or pretty much anything other than those three points, well i'm your girl.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:04:40 PM)

quote:

I just know that negativity breeds negativity and although I have had some real crap happen to me, I try every day to be positive about things.

Because the alternative just fucks you up even more.
i agree. how the fuck do you keep a positive attitude?



gungadin09 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:09:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

...the difference between them and your horny businessman is only one of degree. its the same fucking "infantile sense of entitlement" that leads to both fucking behaviours.


I think it is seriously screwed up to compare having sex with a grown woman that gets paid for the trouble as being even in degrees the same as beating a girl and leaving her for dead. I think this shows the level to which your mind has been poisoned that you do not understand the difference.


i actually think she's got a point there. i've heard that researchers investigating the high officials behind the Holocaust have remarked on the "banality of evil". In other words, these people all were good husbands and fathers, who were nice to their pets and paid their bills on time, and to all appearances were fine, upstanding citizens and decent human beings, EXCEPT for the fact that they went to work every day and tortured people.

One of my sister's friends from high school, who she thought was a totally cool guy, is serving a life sentence for helping an aquaintance murder her (the aquaintence's) husband and dispose of the body. Apparently, they dissolved it in a barrel of acid.

i had a boss who stole over $1,000 worth of hours from me (he had me working a large number of hours off the clock, though he knew i was homeless), who to this day believes that he's the nicest guy on earth.

Some people are born without a conscience, and believe that it's their right to help themselves to anything they want, so long as they can get away with it. i'm not sure if it's 49 out of 50 people, but it's a significant number. Not everybody has the opportunity to rape, pillage, and steal, but it wouldn't suprise me at all if there were many people who would do it if they had the chance and thought they wouldn't get caught.

Chalk me up as another one of the "poisoned minds", because i think she's got a solid point when she says it's just a difference of degree (and, perhaps, of opportunity). i do NOT, however, think that it's a question of gender.

pam




sexyred1 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:10:08 PM)

Believe me Hannah, I work on that every frigging day. After the last two years (bad shit), I just decided that I would take it one day at a time and if I manage to get through the day intact, I feel positive.

Laughter helps alot. I found it harder to rebound when I was younger, so I think the best advice I can give you is that it does get easier to rebound as you get older, even though some people may disagree. In your case, you can feel great about being in a good relationship, that helps so much to have someone be a witness to your life and someone who supports you, in an honest way.

I just feel that as you get older, you look at your life in it's entirety and decide what is worth being upset over, holding onto and what is worth letting go.

Some days you feel like the windshield and some days you feel like the bug. [;)]



Kirata -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:15:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

if you people saying "most men are great" was enough, i'd be the happiest little cunt on earth.

I like happy little cunts. [:D]

K.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:33:49 PM)

quote:

i do NOT, however, think that it's a question of gender.
you know, i have to agree. there are some seriously fucked up women out there. like the one who drowned her kids so she could fuck her new beau who didn't want kids, or the one years and years ago who tried to hire a hit man to off some fucking cheerleader so her daughter could make the squad.

i haven't really thought it through, but i think this fact could be a useful fucking tool. while it may not lessen my distrust, it could help to unfocus it from men. merci beaucoup. i'll try keep this factor in mind.

fuck i hope i don't start just distrusting everybody.[:D]



Kirata -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:38:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

fuck i hope i don't start just distrusting everybody.[:D]

On the other hand, it would be the ecumenical thing to do.

K.



gungadin09 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:40:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
fuck i hope i don't start just distrusting everybody.[:D]


Yeah, i'm pretty much already there, i'm afraid.

pam



LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:42:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

fuck i hope i don't start just distrusting everybody.[:D]

On the other hand, it would be the ecumenical thing to do.

K.


Now that just tickles me, K. [:D]



HannahLynHeather -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:45:11 PM)

well that one day at a time is pretty much what i do with it, a sort of one man at a time, and try not to let past experience cloud my judgment too much and let them speak for themselves (there's the blank slate again). i mean, other than this i'm not fucked up, i'm not a fucking professional victim or anything, i'm basically normal (well other than my fucking politics [;)])

yeah i rely on heather a fuck of a lot, its a lot easier to be optimistic when there's somebody to kiss you when you get home.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:47:43 PM)

of fuck! thanks for the laughs. [:D]



Kirata -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/16/2011 11:48:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
fuck i hope i don't start just distrusting everybody.[:D]


Yeah, i'm pretty much already there, i'm afraid.

There's no need to trust everybody, and certainly no reason to. Trust is earned.

K.



LadyPact -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 12:05:58 AM)

First part of your answer is right under your nose.  You've got Heather and that should help to improve your negativity.

What you might find useful would be some counter experiences.  You say that this place is giving you hope because some of the males here are showing you that there are other elements to the human race than what you've encountered?  Start working on making folks like that more substantial in your life.  Meet more people like that.  The thing is you have to do your part in that, too. 



HannahLynHeather -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 12:25:36 AM)

absolutely. it fucking does have to be earned. but equally, so does distrust. at least that's the premise i want to adopt.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 12:35:13 AM)

a very fucking good suggestion ladyp, in fact i have something along those lines worked out for the near future. introduce me to a group of men that i have on good authority to be among the best, give me a really fucking good chance to get to know them, and hopefully keep them in my life.

and yes, i am grateful for heather's being in my life every day, every single fucking day.



LaTigresse -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 4:11:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Using fast reply and just as an aside.....

I am here at work. Guy comes in to pick up an order. Decent looking fellow in his 60's, owns his own accounting and financial advisory firm, very successful and looks it. Friendly, dressed nice, married with grown kids, has a nice home in the best hood in town. Drives a Benz. Not one thing about him says evil or predator. But after two conversations with him I guaranfuckintee he is the kind of guy that Hannah has experienced when 'out of town for business'. Guarantee.



But so what? I mean really what does that mean? When I tend bar I get hit on every day but these guys, but....I don't fuck them.  We have all been hit on by men "out of town on business". So what? Say yes, say no, but don't make it seem like a horny married man wanting to get laid has made your life a living hell.  I really don't get this anger. We all own the right to say NO.


[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif] Exactly! And if you get "hit on" 20 times a day, it still doesn't mean "most" men are assholes or predators. It MIGHT mean SOME of the ones hitting on you are....maybe. That's about all it means. Say "no" if you want to. Say "yes" if you want to and move on............luci


Having love for luci!!!Thanks for getting it!!!



Unfortunately, you all did NOT 'get it'.

I never once wrote a word about that particular guy hitting on me. I never even implied it.



masterofholly -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 4:44:45 AM)

quote:

introduce me to a group of men that i have on good authority to be among the best, give me a really fucking good chance to get to know them, and hopefully keep them in my life.


You would not have that chance.

A group of men who are among "the best" would not tolerate you nor give you the chance to get to know them.

Rest assured the option of "keeping them in your life" would not be a choice available to you.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 5:06:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

I just know that negativity breeds negativity and although I have had some real crap happen to me, I try every day to be positive about things.

Because the alternative just fucks you up even more.
i agree. how the fuck do you keep a positive attitude?
I know this will probably make you scream fuckity fuck fuck fuck.....but....;o)

It really is as easy as waking up and saying to your self I will be happy and positive today.  I honestly have found that I can choose my mood.  I can not choose what others do to, or around me, but I can choose how, or if, I react to them.

The thing is, by you still having the anger and disgust, you are giving those men power over you still, long after you are no longer bleeding and broken on the sidewalk from their actions.  They do not deserve such power.  Nor do the 99.99% of the great men walking deserve to have to prove them selves to you.

I read where you reminded me that I have 20 years on you.  Talk about making some one say fuckity fuck fuck, I honestly forget that 50 is coming at me like a freight train.  I still wait for the day I will wake up and feel like an adult! 

I have tried to remember how or why or when I was finally able to just let the bad roll off my back like water off a ducks back, and the only thing I can come up with is the following.

After I suffered and survived the death of my parents, and held old dear friends as we buried their children, I realized that everything else is really nothing at all.  I survived holding moms hand as she took her last breath, I can survive anything.  I did not have to bury my son, I am the luckiest person in the world, no matter what happens.

You SURVIVED.  You now have Heather.  Do you really want to allow the assholes of your past to bring even one bit of bitterness and anger in to your life?  They aint worth it.  Bury them in the past, realize that you are going to get hurt in life, but, you will survive it. 

Blah, I am rambling I know, first cup of coffee.  But that post caught my eye, and I really had to reply.

happy Fucking Friday!



Aynne88 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 5:13:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Using fast reply and just as an aside.....

I am here at work. Guy comes in to pick up an order. Decent looking fellow in his 60's, owns his own accounting and financial advisory firm, very successful and looks it. Friendly, dressed nice, married with grown kids, has a nice home in the best hood in town. Drives a Benz. Not one thing about him says evil or predator. But after two conversations with him I guaranfuckintee he is the kind of guy that Hannah has experienced when 'out of town for business'. Guarantee.



But so what? I mean really what does that mean? When I tend bar I get hit on every day but these guys, but....I don't fuck them.  We have all been hit on by men "out of town on business". So what? Say yes, say no, but don't make it seem like a horny married man wanting to get laid has made your life a living hell.  I really don't get this anger. We all own the right to say NO.


[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif] Exactly! And if you get "hit on" 20 times a day, it still doesn't mean "most" men are assholes or predators. It MIGHT mean SOME of the ones hitting on you are....maybe. That's about all it means. Say "no" if you want to. Say "yes" if you want to and move on............luci


Having love for luci!!!Thanks for getting it!!!



Unfortunately, you all did NOT 'get it'.

I never once wrote a word about that particular guy hitting on me. I never even implied it.

So then explain what you meant by the comment LaT. I know Hannah can do no wrong here with you, no matter how many of us she insults and hurls attacks at, so I don't really exoect you to agree with any negative commentary on her posting and well she's been soooo rational to deal with, I will try to not be so unjustly cunty to her. Poor sweet thing.

So in these two conversations what made you know so inherently he is a predator just like the ones Hannah has been railing about for 20 some odd pages? Did he make any references to raping you and leaving you behind a dumpster? This thread is so fucking done already.  Anyone not agreeing with Hannah "doesn't get it". Hibbie said the same thing basically. Oh we get it alright, we just don't agree. How many women here have been raped, fucked over, used by men, blah blah fucking blah? Many. Done drugs? Yep. Oh and I may be wrong but to the best of my knowledge, cocaine is not a drug you suffer physical withdrawals from, but  then again, Hannah does seem to have the corner on the extreme, so maybe for her it is different. 

I also am a bit appalled that she is allowed to talk to posters on here like she is with the comments to Rapier Fugue for one and calling several people fuckwits or whatever commentary she is using at the moment. This whole "baddest ass in the land shit"? *yawn*.  Rudeness and profanity don't make you a badass, they just make you rude and profane.

I don't give a fuck what she thinks about me, she's a kid trying to impress us all with her wrong side of the tracks story and her reasoning for hating for men, and yeah, she does. I have seen dozens of Hannah's in my life, they don't want to change, they like being the broken thing, with all the baggage. 

Oh and Hannah, calling me 88? What the fuck. Grow up. I have tried to be patient with you but I work with at least two girls like you, they have horror stories they  tell everyone that will listen, and go to NA meetings and therapy, come to work with big ass chips on their shoulder and bring everyone down, it;s fucking tiresome to be around them. Like I said, lot's of chicks just like you out there and every fucking day it's something else. Meanwhile, the rest of us pick up the slack, deal with life, and ignore them.

You say you want to not hate men or feel this way anymore yet you attacked RF and Icarys too I think? RF is one of the most upstanding men on here, and Icarys just tells it like it is. You know, like you do. Goose/Gander and all that shit. 



Aynne88 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/17/2011 5:16:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterofholly

quote:

introduce me to a group of men that i have on good authority to be among the best, give me a really fucking good chance to get to know them, and hopefully keep them in my life.


You would not have that chance.

A group of men who are among "the best" would not tolerate you nor give you the chance to get to know them.

Rest assured the option of "keeping them in your life" would not be a choice available to you.



And coming from you, one of the best, this speaks volumes. Of course you will now be called out for "not getting it" or being mean. Hey tell Holly she got a keeper. [;)]



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