guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke

guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (Full Version)

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HannahLynHeather -> guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 4:07:08 AM)
it seems i have managed to give people the impression that i am a man hating lesbian. this isn't really the case. so in order to dispell the misunderstanding, and to avoid explaining repeatedly, here are the facts of the matter. i'm not really a lesbian, i'm bisexual. i like fucking men, a lot. i just don't want to deal with them afterwards. i prefer to do what i call the fuck n fuck: fuck me then fuck off. i have been in love twice in my life. once from ages 17 to 19 with a male, and now with heather. so as far as romantic attachments go, it's 50/50. i am, however, only interested in women for the purposes of a relationship. now this isn't because i hate men, i don't. i just have great disdain for, and a really shitty opinion of the vast majority of them. this isn't some fucked up philosophical position, its not based on any feminist ideology or feelings of oppression by some fucking patriarchal society or any such shit. it's based on just shy of ten years experience with men from the point of view of a prostitute, of a girl living alone on the road, of somebody automatically perceived and treated as potential prey. reviled by all and sundry and rejected by those supposedly in place to protect the vulnerable. when even the "ardent feminist" do-gooder running the women's outreach shelter sneaks into your room in the middle of the night, you get just a little fucking cynical. if he were the exception it wouldn't be a fucking problem, but he's not. he's the norm. since i left home at 19 i've fucked a shit load of men, and i mean a shit load, so we're not talking about a few bad eggs here, we're talking hundreds of the fuckers. and not just low lifes, no, i'm talking school teachers, priests, politicians, lawyers, doctors, contractors, all sorts from every walk of life. regular fucking pillars of society. and they are pretty much all the same. up in the respectable world where most of you have lived your whole lives, its hidden. the wonderful, caring, intelligent men in your lives tuck it away until they come downtown and meet me. then they take off the masks they wear for your benefit and show their true colours. where i used to live, down in the gutter so to speak, its out in the fucking open, stripped naked and on display for all to see. the viciousness, the callousness, the infantile sense of entitlement, the ignorance, the insecurities, the fragile over-inflated egos, the manipulativness, the childish vindictiveness, the selfishness, the greed, the savegry and violence, and the sheer unimaginable self-centered, egotistical stupidity verging on outright idiocy. and the lies, the endless web of fucking lies they spin to justify themselves. you wouldn't believe the number of pathetic little overgrown mummy's boys who fucked me and then cried like babies while i held them and soothed them and then beat the shit out of me because i'd seen them like that. and the shit they tell us, men trust whores with their deepest secrets. and trust me ladies, you sure as fuck do not want to know what your loving husbands, sons and fathers really think of you. there's a really good reason so many ex prostitutes identify as lesbians, and that reason is men. when they are freed of societal constraints, they are, on the whole, very fucking unpleasant creatures. the fact that i'll even speak to a man is proof of my being really fucking tolerant, forgiving, and unbelievably optimistic in the face of overwhelming evidence, but i am. i give every man the chance to prove himself, they all start with a clean slate. but when it comes to men i've done my fucking research, and i'm a realist about them, so i really don't expect to fucking much from them. that being said, not all of them are right fucking assholes, just almost all of them. i have a few male friends, and they are among my closest and most trusted friends. a good man is really fucking good, they're just really, really fucking rare, maybe 1 in 50 if you're really fucking lucky. i hope that clears things up a bit. hannah lynn

Kana -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 4:12:16 AM)
Laughs. It's one of life's great truisms... Men are scum, but women are psychotic. Whatcha gonna do? :-)

sirsholly -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 4:17:02 AM)
quote: the fact that i'll even speak to a man is proof of my being really fucking tolerant, forgiving, and unbelievably optimistic Rome called. You are the next candidate for sainthood. [image]http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/boredsmiley.gif[/image]

LaTigresse -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 4:38:46 AM)
Hannah, in your words I am reminded of a very special person in my life. Thank you for that. I only wish she was as self aware as you are and able to have someone in her life to love and love her in return. In my many years of working with, and around, men. Seeing them in their moments of guy stuff, forgetting or not caring, that there is a woman around...........I have to admit that your assessment is pretty spot on. Harsh, but accurate. It's scary for most women to imagine that THEIR guy is like THOSE guys. But most are. Some are just better actors than others. I still like guys, some I quite love, but I am honest about them. I've seen my brothers in action, my son even. They try to hide it.....but sooner or later it peeks out. Which, of course, pisses them off.......busted! The guys I work with, all married.......but I have seen the currents that run underneath. Especially my boss. I think most women want to deny it exists in men because they tend to blame themselves for the men's behaviour. Feel that they are somehow not good enough. I believe that is what drives the cosmetic industry. I read something not long ago.....a stupid quote by some famous woman. Something like 'Women need to not freak out when their guys tell them something that scares them.' I believe this applies to a lot of male/female relationship stuff. Men want to get laid. On the whole, they do not care as much by whom, where, how, what or why.......they just want to get off. They are often in denial, for self preservation, but based upon what I've seen and heard.....it's not complicated. They just want to get laid. They look at most women (and some men but shhhhhhhhhhh.......) as a potential of getting laid. If women knew their men were looking at the checker in the grocery store, the old lady in line behind them, etc etc etc..........in terms of fuckability, they would freak out. But guys do. It's just the way they are. I also think you were quite generous with the 1 in 50. [:D]

fadedshadow -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 4:43:04 AM)
everyone is trash, except for a very small number of people

LillyBoPeep -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 5:04:10 AM)
i think one of your errors is in assuming that other women who haven't lived the life you have DON'T see the truth about them. frankly, a lot of us do. lesbianism as a refuge from prostitution isn't anything new. even in history, women often turned to other women for real emotional security because they were viewed as commodities by men (and of course the men don't judge themselves negatively for patronizing them =p) -- but people often act as though, without females/prostitutes, there would be no prostitution, to which i must wholeheartedly DISAGREE -- who thought up the idea that you should totally pay me to marry my daughter? a man. =p at the same time, though, people can only really create their idea of you based on what you post. hopefully people understand that i'm a sincere, sometimes silly, sometimes intense but always thoughtful person, based on how i post, because that's just who i am. when you say stuff like "the average male dom is too stupid to do X" what do you expect them to think? explaining a bit about your background does something, sure, but bitterness is still bitterness regardless of where it comes from. for me, i had a run in with a guy who liked little girls. it did a lot of really wacky stuff to my head, and was the beginning of my issues with trusting people. for the longest time i didn't even want male humans to touch me. =p but like you said, a good man is really good, and i've had plenty of experiences with them to tell me "while some of them aren't so nice, some others of them are very." and women aren't saints eithers. women can be manipulative, they can be passive-aggressive, they can be destructive women will drown their children and poison their spouses, all while saying "i love you." women can be pretty evil. human nature is like water, it often seeks out the lowest point. this is regardless of gender.

Aynne88 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 6:21:45 AM)
Holy fuck. Wow. I don't know, I must have some kind of divining rod for great men then, because starting with the ones in my family to my ex-husband who for 23 years put up with my shit, and was amazing, just not meant to be my husband, to the man I am with now that would lay down his life for me to the dozens of amazing male friends I have that have helped me move, gone on trips with me, helped me when I was living on my own by crashing on the couch on nights I wanted some company, gone ice fishing and to art galleries to bar hopping with me, they have all just rocked. Oh and not all men hate their wives and/or girlfriends and not all men emotionally unload their disdain for their women on "whores" your word not mine. I have consoled many a drunken sobbing mess of a man that has had his heart broken while as his bartender he unloaded for hours. So ladies, I will tell you what your man,husband,boyfriend thinks of you. For the most part, they love you. They worry about you and want to protect you, and yes they are often times faithful. I have seen more men traveling through on business getting hit on by some of the local skanks around here and clearly say no. More, many more, than they say yes. So it's not so clear cut. I have been behind a bar for 23 years and seen and heard it all. Men are just as vulnerable, faithful and loving as women. Not all, the world isn't an absolute. But one in 50? Hell no. I don't know how you can say you aren't a man hater and post this shit including 1 in 50 men are decent or good...if a dude posted that we would all jump on the misogyny bandwagon. I absolutely believe your experiences are valid and they are yours. They are not mine though, not by a longshot. I love men, and am surrounded by great ones. The ones that treat me with disrespect or any of my female friends I deal with accordingly.

gungadin09 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 6:28:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fadedshadow everyone is trash, except for a very small number of people This. pam

JstAnotherSub -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 6:33:57 AM)
I have known male assholes and female assholes. In my experiences, each sex has their own brand of psychotic behaviors, and yes, I include my self in that. Kana said it best, IMHO quote: Laughs. It's one of life's great truisms... Men are scum, but women are psychotic. Whatcha gonna do? :-) We are all crazy to someone, and we are all perfect for someone. The one thing I have learned is that, most times, people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Some times the blame for how we are treated lies firmly on our own shoulders, not on the shoulders of others.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 6:41:51 AM)
I really like Hannah. :)

tj444 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 7:04:05 AM)
I totally, totally, totally agree with you!!! I thought I was pretty much alone having those opinions of men (in general). I have seen men, those men whose wives, kids, families and friends never would have imagined in a million years that he would be trolling on craigslist looking for sex during their workday and wanting some noon-time delight. I know their wives dont really want to see their husbands and the father of their kids like that but those guys make me want to puke. You are lucky to be bisexual, I unfortunately am not, I am totally hetro. I have been so disgusted with men that I have thought about being with a woman instead but no matter how much better that would be, sadly, its just not me. So I have no choice but to approach men with extreme caution, and try to see who they really are (which takes time), try to determine if they are a keeper or if he is one of those guys not worth it. I have ways of testing men, it always disappoints me when they fail even the simpliest test. And cuz most men arent really all that smart, they dont even realize when I have tested them and they have failed. I just usually let them think they have pulled the wool over my eyes, but what they have done is moved themselves way down on my "Can I trust this guy?" list.... And I simply can not be with anyone that I can not trust.

GreedyTop -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 7:13:32 AM)
I am one of those psychotic women ( or at least., so I have been told) I agree with Hannahs post

mnottertail -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 7:21:12 AM)
I really dont care what women think about me so long as I can catch me a blowjob. I unemotional like that.

LaTigresse -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 7:35:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I really like Hannah. :) Me too!

Arpig -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 8:01:14 AM)
Me three! Even though my gender is being portrayed in a very negative light on this thread, I happen to agree with her to a large degree. Over all. men are jerks, myself included. I know its hard to believe folks, but I do have my moments too...just ask my Ex.[:D] As a matter of fact, I like them both (There's a news flash eh? Bob likes the hot young lesbians!? Who ever would have guessed?). I like that they are willing and able to express themselves fearlessly and to reveal parts of themselves that many of us keep hidden. I think it's wonderful. Between Hannah's vitriol and jaded cynicism and Heather's wide-eyed enthusiasm and earnest desire to question and understand, we get some new perspectives that I think are a valuable contribution to the fora. Its always a good thing to look at ourselves in a new light, whether to defend or explain. That and its always nice to see a young couple that are totally besotted with each other.

OttersSwim -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 8:07:46 AM)
I have two things to say about this post... It takes two to fuck. For each of those guys out there having sex behind someone's back, there is a woman (and sometimes a man) who is also participating and making a choice. It is beyond easy to read if someone is married. Without doubt, the sins and shortcomings of males as a whole are long and there are some despicable examples out there in the world in the best of places. But men don't have to look up very far to see the end of the female list of sins and shortcomings. People suck...men and women Concentration I have a friend who is a prison guard. He spends 5 days a week surrounded by a very concentrated portion of the population who have failed out of the system - his view of humanity is quite dim, even though there are only about 23,000 incarcerated in a state population of more than 5 million souls. I have to believe that being a sex worker is very much the same, as is CollarMe - a place where paths are concentrated, and repeated exposure can affect one's worldview - likely to that person's detriment. I am sorry you have had repeated bad experiences with males, but it is my belief that you were engaging with a very concentrated portion of a much larger population with far greater variability, strengths, flaws, and virtues than perhaps were represented in that concentration.

GreedyTop -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 8:12:41 AM)
adores Otters sends warmest regards to His Lady

LaTigresse -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 8:17:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig Me three! Even though my gender is being portrayed in a very negative light on this thread, I happen to agree with her to a large degree. Over all. men are jerks, myself included. I know its hard to believe folks, but I do have my moments too...just ask my Ex.[:D] As a matter of fact, I like them both (There's a news flash eh? Bob likes the hot young lesbians!? Who ever would have guessed?). I like that they are willing and able to express themselves fearlessly and to reveal parts of themselves that many of us keep hidden. I think it's wonderful. Between Hannah's vitriol and jaded cynicism and Heather's wide-eyed enthusiasm and earnest desire to question and understand, we get some new perspectives that I think are a valuable contribution to the fora. Its always a good thing to look at ourselves in a new light, whether to defend or explain. That and its always nice to see a young couple that are totally besotted with each other. Exactly. To my eyes......I see a lot of cursing and written armour that is used to protect a wonderful and smart young woman. I also believe that Hannah and Heather's relationship shows both of them, in a light that we likely would not see otherwise. We are able to voyeuristically peek into their relationship through their words but also, more importantly, to see what is special about one through the words of the other. And, what is special about the person writing in how they write about the other.

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 8:19:21 AM)
I've been to a lot of the places you've been, Hannah. I was a "sex worker" in the 60's & 70's. I use that term because I wasn't only a prostitute; I also worked at dance clubs owned by the Mafia or whatever the correct terminology is. Men really can be pretty scummy. I'd have to say most of them too. I just think that they hide it pretty well under certain circumstances. I am also bisexual, but I didn't acknowledge those feelings until I was nearly 40 years old. It really was a different world back then. One day, I gave up on men in utter disgust & I was exclusively with women for the next 15 years. Unfortunately, women have their own foibles. And when I went from exclusively with men to exclusively with women, I brought me with me. My longest concurrent live in relationship was with a woman. Who loved me & who I loved. And who had anger control issues & she took it out on me for quite awhile. It was such an unhealthy relationship! And when I felt better about me, I left. And since that time, I've had relationships with good men who I love very much. I don't tend to like humans for the most part. They baffle me. I don't understand why they seem to go out of their way to be mean & hurtful to other humans. I don't understand why they lie & cheat & steal & kill. But since I figured out in grade school that I'm probably an alien, one would think I'd no longer be trying to understand them. Hannah, I love your honesty, your straight-forward attitude, your this is me, take it or leave it assholes style. You are one of my heroes!!!

tj444 -> RE: guys suck, but i'm not a man-hating dyke (6/14/2011 8:23:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim It is beyond easy to read if someone is married. I am sorry you have had repeated bad experiences with males, but it is my belief that you were engaging with a very concentrated portion Oh really??? It is easier to tell that a guy is married... when you get to his house. lol And you wouldnt believe the number of men that have wanted to have me over while their wife was at work! Imo, the internet has made it too easy for married guys to cheat so more and more of them are taking the plunge. I think the stats show its not a small concentrated portion.. not what I would consider small, anyway. It is considerably harder to tell if a "single" guy who still lives alone has a girlfriend that he is cheating on.

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