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RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 2:31:30 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		blake,

I suggest you do a search on this topic, it is a regular one here on the forums. Whilst yes it is irritating to be on the recieving end of, there are many reasons why someone may choose not to respond. But frankly, if you spot they have read the message and been on a couple of times since, it is safe to assume that for some reason they are not interested assume a no thanks and move on.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 2:56:22 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blake12345

Perhaps it's just an issue with people in the bassakwards area that I live in but I am sick and tired writing a well composed letter to somone who's profile piques your interest only to get absolutely no response whatsoever. I tell someone about myself and point out the things in their profile that I said that makes me think that we would be compatible and the things that I thought were interesting and then there's nothing...Check the sent messages and see that your message has been read and they've been online several times since but still nothing. I mean how hard is it to just reply with something like "thanks, but no thanks"?


I have spates of getting a LOT of mails from guys and sometimes women.......I reply to some and not others.

As yourMissTress mentioned, I don't feel I HAVE to respond, even out of politeness......If a stranger takes it into their head to mail me, that's their concern, it doesn't become my responsibility to respond to them.

I respond to some if I have the time and if I WISH to.  You can never KNOW what is going on in another person's life ... and assuming that someone is a *bitch* etc  for a non response is just silly.

Regards, agirl

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 3:34:32 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		This is precisely the reason I don't take part in the nonsense.

Though I did see one profile when I logged in that prompted me to send a message and I did get a very polite email back.

No reply is a reply of sorts, though a very rude one if the email you sent was polite and inforamative. It just shows the person you wrote to as being rather ignorant.

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 3:38:19 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		When did unsolicited letters from strangers ever imply that the receiver had an obligation to respond? When was the last time you sent your resume to a company and read the by-line "Only applicants being considered will be contacted"--and did you send the company irate mail telling them that this was rude? Did you publically announce that you were giving up on employment because the companies were all fakes and you were fed up with writing well-thought-out cover letters telling them why you were perfect for the job and getting no reply?

Public personalities can hire secretaries to write auto-responses, but personally answering several dozen letters per week can take its toll on anyone.

What's worse is that about one-quarter of the men will not take 'No Thanks' for an answer. Saying anything at all in reponse to them seems to push a button in them that makes them think "any reaction is a good reaction." You then get spammed by more mail of the pleading/argumentative/critical/disturbing/irate variety until you give up and block them. It's desperadoes like these that made me go from replying to every single letter to being choosy in how I spent my time.

Take Care,

~Molly Troubletail~


(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 5:08:53 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blake12345

Perhaps it's just an issue with people in the bassakwards area that I live in but I am sick and tired writing a well composed letter to somone who's profile piques your interest only to get absolutely no response whatsoever.


Every day you probably get well composed letters from people that you ignore.  AND these people have paid postage to contact you.  Now that you've thought about it, I'm sure you will respond to every advertisement you get with a nice note even if it's to say "I'm not interested in your product."

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(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 5:15:16 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		If people have profiles that are advertising themselves, which many profiles do, surely out of politeness one would expect them to respond. They are after all soliciting responses and are not receiving unsolicited mail.

If the profile says don't contact me or do not contact me unless you have read my profile and fullfill my criteria and you don't or whatever, then fair enough.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 5/15/2006 5:16:25 AM >

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 5:42:35 AM   
piscess


Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blake12345

"A non response IS a response"

True but a non response is more of a "i'm a bitch and i'm think that i'm too good to even aknowlege your existance" much more than "no thanks" does.


I can tell you as a fairly new person to this site.  Some of us get so much mail that it is nearly impossible to answer each and every one. 
 
But I go with the others, take it as a 'no thanks' and if you feel they have been rude, well move on.
 
piscess

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:01:12 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Granted it's rude, but I wouldn't waste a bunch of time worrying about it...just move forward to the next.

I don't think it's even rude...but I'm with you on the rest of it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:02:32 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		I try to respond to most of the emails that I get.  My profile clearly states that I am looking for someone local and am not interested in an online relationship.  Actually, my profile now states that I am not looking at all, but does that stop the emails, NO!  I do not bother to respond to someone who has obviously not read my profile.  If you can't bother to take the time to learn a little bit about me what kind of future do we have?  And if you cannot be bothered to put more than your age, location and sexual orientation in your profile...why should I delve deeper?  Where is the motivation for me to learn more about you?

(in reply to piscess)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:04:31 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		As stated before, no reply threads pop up every week at least once here. It's the internet. It's not that big of a deal. Just take it as not interested and move on. There's more important things in life than whether or not a stranger replies to your email. Life is more fun when you focus on the positive instead of letting the negative rule you and get you down.

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to piscess)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:11:05 AM   
Hawksgirldove


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/3/2006
Status: offline 		I have to agree with erin on this one. A non-repsonse is still an active choice, sending a clear message. "I am rude, and not interested."

If i am contacted, and not interested...like for example, my profile clearly states that i am looking for a Female partner... If a man, such as yourself were to send me an email, and it was obvious he took the time to compose it. I would at least send a reply something to the effect of" Thank you for your interest, however, you are not what i am seeking. Good luck on your continued jouney."

It comes down to common curtousy. I know that if i sent an email, a polite reply thanking me for my time, and simply stating not interested... would be better than no reply.

But that's just me.


_____________________________

~dove~

A woman who does not trust love, will never know the exquisite beauty of giving herseelf to another."
-Maya Angelou

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:15:36 AM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		Perhaps not having enough time to respond to an email is a sign that you shouldn't have a profile on a website that encourages it's members to contact one another.
 
" I would suggest that you take some time and give them some kind of a clue as to who exactly they are responding to and what it is you are looking for."
 
I'm probably a little more privite about my life than most which is why i try to include a lot of information in an inital email instead of displaying it to the entire 'net
 
 
blake, who are you to tell anyone they shouldn't have a profile? Get a life .
 
The Lady you disparaged happens to write some very astute comments and spells way better than you by the way.
 
I often get no response , everyone does...get over it.

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Docents_of_Museum/

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:22:55 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

Perhaps not having enough time to respond to an email is a sign that you shouldn't have a profile on a website that encourages it's members to contact one another.
 



Hmmm, people will have their own reasons for being on this site. And those reasons may change from time to time......It's not really anyone's business except theirs, profile or not.

agirl

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:26:13 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Well said, agirl!

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:38:58 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blake12345
Perhaps not having enough time to respond to an email is a sign that you shouldn't have a profile on a website that encourages it's members to contact one another.


Prehaps that statement is a sign that you haven't the first clue about what some people face on sites like this.... just in sheer volume of mails if nothing else. I know one young lady I recently contacted has gotten over 400 mails in just a few days.... Do I expect her to put her entire life on hold and respond to each and every one of them? No.

Plus if she finds someone she is interested in, either myself or someone else, just exactly  when is she supposed to find the time to see where that maybe go if she is spending whatever free time she has answering the hundreds of people she ISN'T interested in?

If you haven't got a brain of your own, do try to borrow one and see the possibile reasons why something maybe happening rather than just spout crap on the forums about it.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:43:49 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blake12345

Perhaps it's just an issue with people in the bassakwards area that I live in but I am sick and tired writing a well composed letter to somone who's profile piques your interest only to get absolutely no response whatsoever. I tell someone about myself and point out the things in their profile that I said that makes me think that we would be compatible and the things that I thought were interesting and then there's nothing...Check the sent messages and see that your message has been read and they've been online several times since but still nothing. I mean how hard is it to just reply with something like "thanks, but no thanks"?


Miss Manners (who appears in our local newspaper every day) has addressed this for vanilla situations.

Not getting an answer IS an answer and it means "I'm not interested".

It is the way that traditionally anyone receiving any unwanted notice was to deal with it since even saying "I'm not interested" could be interpreted as an opening for the other person to continue to contact you.

While it hurts to put time and effort into something and be ignored, try to remember that you are so much being ignored as being told there is no interest. Move on and try someone else.

Also some folks will write back to say "Sorry, I'm not interested". Please respect that and move on and try someone else.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 5/15/2006 6:44:11 AM >

_____________________________

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:44:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Someone pointed this out on a previous "Why don't people do what I want them to do?" thread:

How can you claim it's rude for people not to answer your emails when you don't respond to each post that gets made in your own thread?

Anyway, I don't think EITHER is rude.  Spam mail is spam mail- my choice to do with it whatever I want.  And especially if it's an email requesting something inappropriate- a lady simply does not reply to such as it would imply that she would consider it at all.

It's nothing to do with how much I get, nothing to do with my being a mean chick or a spoiled person- it's my email and I'll respond or not as my picky capricious ass desires.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:44:12 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		That's basically how I feel. Profiles are a load of bollocks!

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 6:46:56 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
Miss Manners (who appears in our local newspaper every day) has addressed this for vanilla situations.

I actually posted this in another thread

http://www.collarchat.com/m_237847/mpage_1/key_miss%252Cmanners/tm.htm#237847
Finally a Conclusive End to the "Do you Respond to a Strangers Emails"? Fiasco

Of course it didn't actually END it...

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 7:02:30 AM   
accipitres


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I reply to every single email from people who have read my profile and written me.  Since that is about 1% of the people who write, it isn't too onerous.

The other 99% I delete. If they can't be bothered to read the profile, I can't be bothered to respond

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 40
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