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RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 7:05:04 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		And how can you be certain that they have or have not read your profile, just because they don't comment on it, or choose to flap on about other things...

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to accipitres)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 7:07:22 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Blake.

If the tone you've exhibited here is any indication of your emails I think we have answered the question of why don't they write back.  You have no info on your profile, you've been heavy handed with your responses, and rather rude.  I must agree with LA, I don't even see it as they are rude when they don't write back.  Not interested is not interested,  writing back to tell one thanks but I am not interested is just encouraging some to keep writing.  Let it go and move on, bnitching about it is not going to help and the submissive ones tend to find themoaning and complaning unattractive.

Please try and be more civil or someone might be tempted to ask Miss Tress if she has any spare nails.

K

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 5/15/2006 7:08:39 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 7:12:06 AM   
accipitres


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		In my profile I ask a specific question, and mention that NOT answering the question when writing to me equates to not reading the profile (in my mind).

Of course, it may just mean poor reading comprehension, short term memory loss, or stupidity; not failure to read the profile.  Oh well.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 7:14:12 AM   
accipitres


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		PS  I think it is "Schlau, aber nicht war" not "nichts"

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 7:22:34 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		There allota mountain hiking in Florida, is there? LOL. 

The bird of prey wrote:
quote:


Of course, it may just mean poor reading comprehension, short term memory loss, or stupidity; not failure to read the profile.  Oh well.


Or it may be that they that they have excellent reading comprehension, they have excellent short and long term memory and are above average intellingence, but are not interested in discussing white water kayaking in florida with a stranger.

What does this all mean? Sometimes, (in fact often) people don't do exactly what they are ordered.  All's fair.  Assumptions do not always make right....

I know it is a hard go of it for the women, but men aren't always doing the easy job of it out here either.

None of this is either here nor there, it is of no great import to whine about answering or not answering mail on the net.  No amount of argument or logic will change what is or isn't.

I am simply reticent to think that because someone's doing other than what they are ordered makes them profoundly brain damaged.


LOLOLOL,
Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to accipitres)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 7:34:03 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Something occured to me after reading all these responses....

There are some men that send me what appears to be a "form letter" about themselves which they did not write to me, but instead looks to be cut and pasted into an email to me to see if I will respond. They reference NOTHING about my profile to show they have read it at all. This guy mentioned that he includes his personal info in emails... makes me think perhaps it is a cut and paste job? If so he really has no right to scream about rudeness...lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 8:39:37 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		As I've said before....
I have no obligation to respond to anything.
And I quite frankly don't give a second thought to whether or not some stranger I didn't even take the time to reply to, thinks I'm rude or a bitch. If your email to me didn't interest me in the least, why would I care about your opinion of my non-response.
Puhlease...

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 8:55:10 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear blake12345, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In the old days, it was considered rude not to respond to correspondences.  One of the more protocol minded rules were in regards to a party invitation, where the RSVP (Respond if you please in French, as the etiquette was started in the royal courts,) even if it was to make a small note, that they received yours.
 
I can understand the feelings of being left in the dark, to which you do not have any form that advises a person has read it or not.
 
Perhaps, an individual is ill/sick to where they are not able to respond.  Perhaps, their PC is out of service and cannot afford to fix it; might also be in the throws of moving or dealing with a family crisis.  It might not be a case of being rude at all.  However, I do respond to emails and CM correspondences when I am able to. 
 
I have had individuals check things for me but, they will not answer what is addressed to me. 
 
Regardless, I am sorry that you have met up with a common problem, as I have had the same treatment but, on the other side of the matter, as a dominant.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 9:10:35 AM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blake12345

Perhaps it's just an issue with people in the bassakwards area that I live in but I am sick and tired writing a well composed letter to somone who's profile piques your interest only to get absolutely no response whatsoever. I tell someone about myself and point out the things in their profile that I said that makes me think that we would be compatible and the things that I thought were interesting and then there's nothing...Check the sent messages and see that your message has been read and they've been online several times since but still nothing. I mean how hard is it to just reply with something like "thanks, but no thanks"?


You know, I think the OP makes a really good point. And yes, we have seen this topic maybe a trillion times over on the boards...and maybe it's not something really "worth" getting worked up about...well, but then again, maybe it IS worth getting worked up about. Because maybe it's not such a great thing to just let someone's rudeness just slide by like it's just normal and par for the course...Maybe. It seems to me Blake is talking about the same thing I've heard a lot of women talking about...how we write something relatively thoughtful and either get grunts back as a reply or no reply at all.

Personally, I make an effort to write back to anyone who writes a generally respectful email to me, esp. one that seems genuine and mentions something from my profile. And I have also taken the time to say "thanks, but no thanks" to some and even got a thank you from one guy I'd said that to. He thanked me for simply responding. As a rule, I don't respond to form letters...unless it amuses me or strikes my fancy in some way...and I don't respond to anyone I find rude or offensive. But I dunno, Blake...unfortunately, and ultimately, all I can do is continue to voice my opinions, continue to ask people to take responsibility for their behavior and hope that most ppl will.

(in reply to blake12345)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 9:32:43 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I think it is basically agreed by now that:

1. No one is morally obliged to reply to an email, solicited or otherwise.

2. No one is morally obliged to have correct information of their profile.

So if you are interested in emailing soneone:

1. Don't automatically expect a reply

2. Don't bother reading a profile, the person has probably changed their mind by the time you read it anyway.

Basically it's all a stab in the dark so don't whine at a lack of response and if you hit the jackpot good for you. You'll deserve it for perseverence.

And next time you see a thread that discusses good manners, morality, honesty and integrity. Just laugh your head off. I do because everytime you read a thread like this you realise what a nonsense all the platitudes are.

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 9:32:48 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ginawithaB
Blake...unfortunately, and ultimately, all I can do is continue to voice my opinions, continue to ask people to take responsibility for their behavior and hope that most ppl will.

I completely take responsibility for my behavior.  And if some stranger randomly emails me and then consider me rude for not responding...I'm ok with that.

I don't base my feelings or action on proper behavior on random strangers- I think that's a bit irresponsible, unreasonable and likely to lead someone crazy if they tried to make everyone happy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 9:46:38 AM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

As I've said before....
I have no obligation to respond to anything.
And I quite frankly don't give a second thought to whether or not some stranger I didn't even take the time to reply to, thinks I'm rude or a bitch. If your email to me didn't interest me in the least, why would I care about your opinion of my non-response.
Puhlease...


Touché

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Quoth the raven

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 9:51:54 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressWolfen

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

As I've said before....
I have no obligation to respond to anything.
And I quite frankly don't give a second thought to whether or not some stranger I didn't even take the time to reply to, thinks I'm rude or a bitch. If your email to me didn't interest me in the least, why would I care about your opinion of my non-response.
Puhlease...


Touché


Direct is more like it... and it made sense to me....lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MistressWolfen)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 9:54:51 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I try and respond to all, but can't always.  A personalized one I always respond to tho.

(in reply to MistressLove999)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 10:01:58 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

That's basically how I feel. Profiles are a load of bollocks!


I've had a few people berate me in mails for saying nothing in my profile beyond ticking the * looking for friends only* box.......I've been *told off* for not stating that I'm owned. I couldn't write a single thing that wouldn't make me cringe, frankly. So I don't.

I have my own reasons for putting nothing at all.....apart from the fact that I don't want to.

I'm not looking for anything at all......and even if I WAS, I'd still put nothing. I'm here to read, maybe exchange thoughts with a few likeminded individuals, pass the time of day sometimes and have a bit of a debate here and there.

I wouldn't say profiles are a load of bollocks ..... ( well, I might say it about some...lol)...but having read so many over the years, it hasn't inspired me to pen one lately.....I'd probably change my mind from day to day about myself anyhow..what use is THAT??....lol

agirl



(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 10:04:49 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I think it is basically agreed by now that:

1. No one is morally obliged to reply to an email, solicited or otherwise.

2. No one is morally obliged to have correct information of their profile.

So if you are interested in emailing soneone:

1. Don't automatically expect a reply

2. Don't bother reading a profile, the person has probably changed their mind by the time you read it anyway.

Basically it's all a stab in the dark so don't whine at a lack of response and if you hit the jackpot good for you. You'll deserve it for perseverence.

And next time you see a thread that discusses good manners, morality, honesty and integrity. Just laugh your head off. I do because everytime you read a thread like this you realise what a nonsense all the platitudes are.


Oooops, you've said it again as I was busy typing similar........grin x

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 10:11:37 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Well over the last 18 months I've spent about 6 months in Japan, 5 months in Holland and Belgium, 4 in California and about 3 in England so I'm actually clueless where to say I am in my profile because the next12 months look like being similar. Plus the fact there are not many subs that want to meet and play, not on the internet anyway, well I go as far as saying there are none so its pointless trying to find someone even if you want to. Far better to speak to people face to face at events.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 10:13:37 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		And again agirl

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 10:24:57 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Let's see....  the average female profile gets...  50 messages, day 1?  With a pic, maybe 100?  Seem reasonable?  I've heard numbers like that a lot, so I'll assume it's true.

Let's say you just open them, glance over it, glance over the profile below the message, and delete, it takes 30 seconds per message, or 25 minutes.

If you take time to read each message from start to finish and write a reply, including load tmes, each message takes 2 minutes, at the very least.  Makes 1 hour, 40 minutes.

I can totally understand someone's logic to simply read till they find out they're not interested, then delete.  It means that when they do find that 1 message in the haystack the want to respond to, they have 75 minutes to do so.

Hope that explains a bit to the math minded out there.

Yours,


benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: non-response - 5/15/2006 10:33:27 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear blake12345, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In the old days, it was considered rude not to respond to correspondences. One of the more protocol minded rules were in regards to a party invitation, where the RSVP (Respond if you please in French, as the etiquette was started in the royal courts,) even if it was to make a small note, that they received yours.



I think an invitation to a party where part of the function of the RSVP is to allow the host to make appropriate arrangments for food, drink, and entertainment, is quite different than receiving notes or flowers or whatever that attempt to start a personal relationship of any nature.

Most people send invitations to friends, family or business associates you might think are interested in said event. It is not rude to not respond I'd argue except when you then decide to attend and thus throw off the well-made arrangments of the host; by the same logic it would be rude to say you were coming and then not at the last moment.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 60
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