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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

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ndeedily; i think that's the conclusion i'm really going for. =p i don't believe there's anything wrong with the fantasies, and nothing to feel guilty about in regards to them. i used to feel guilty about things i felt, which is almost standard once you've internalized an "it's all my fault" point of view, but i'm trying to avoid doing that now.

~Needles

Unfortunately, people (both make and female) do feel guilty about them. They automatically equate ravishment fantasy with rape (as so many people do, thus the huge disclaimer on Lily's first post). Unless and until you can differentiate the two, having these sorts of fantasies makes you feel pretty creepy, since societies taboo against rape is so very strong.

As a young teen growing up and having what I now realize were relatively routine ravishment fantasies, I felt incredibly guilty and that I was the only female in the world that had these fantasies. That makes you feel like an outcast, you know?

Despite the very strong taboo again rape, so many rapes occur. Most females will be raped at least once over the course of their lifetime. You have to wonder why that is. Is it a blurring in some people's definition of rape and ravishment? When you look at the stats Lily posted, you see how often a rapists thinks the female "wanted it" or "enjoyed it."

When you toss in the fact that a certain percentage of rape victims climax, that only further muddies the waters. Let's be very clear here, I am not condoning actual rape in any way. What I *am* saying is that connections between sex and power and rape have not been all that thoroughly explored. It's just not politically direct to do so.

And I think the fascination with these issues and the desire to explore them on a personal level is at the heart of many people's power exchange dynamics.

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ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

"....it is also a fucking rush. adrenalin is pumping, endorphins coursing, heart pounding. all the shit a sub looks for in a fucking scene. there's a fucked up form of subspace involved as well, a rapespace if you will. and it is about power, it's all about the fucking power.

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

I've heard of those who've been raped and who have fantasies about it... I find it puzzling that there are any victims at all who would have rape fantasies. I can't help wonder what it is in their psyche that eroticizes such an act.

For many, it's not just a "fantasy", but something they actively seek out with a Dominant partner, because psychologically, it's a means to replay a profound life-event where they had NO CONTROL, by adding CONTROL -- by way of consent.

I understand your point. For me, I just can't envision doing it. Yet another example of where each of us has our differences. I also can't help wonder just how emotionally and psychologically healthy it is for the victim. Does it provide any resolution? Is it a continual loop that constantly repeats itself?

Other than this explanation, the bottom line is, I just don't understand the appeal of rape fantasies at all.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I like the term CASE instead of rape play a lot. It makes the delineation very clear.

Nobody fantasizes about some smelly, toothless creep with ragged fingernails. It's always someone we would find attractive. It's like all those bodice ripper novels in the 70's. Someone who attracts you to begin with, who you want to act in an overpowering manner. The fantasies we have are scripts we write, we are author, director and lead actor. Everyone else in them follows the parts we write for them the way supporting actors should.

I also would suggest ignoring in real rapes whether or not the woman orgasms. You irritate a mucus membrane enough, and it will have a reaction. Reaction isn't enjoyment. If you don't believe this, just blow pepper up your nose and see. 

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ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear


I do agree on the fact, "Nobody fantasizes about some smelly, toothless creep with ragged fingernails."  

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if the "attacker" is taking control because of his lack of ability to control himself... well that's an interesting train of thought, isn't it?

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a weird fucking power over them that renders me fucking helpless, that makes me their prey

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Nobody fantasizes about some smelly, toothless creep with ragged fingernails.

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ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

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ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear


I do agree on the fact, "Nobody fantasizes about some smelly, toothless creep with ragged fingernails."  

there are two posts above you that challenge this "fact." it's not a universal idea, even though it may be true for some.
i've had fantasies involving people i would never be sexually attracted to in a bajillion years, and their personalities weren't all that stellar, either.
yet somehow, it was "hot" to me to fantasize about being raped by someone like that.

no idea why. =p that's a fantasy i'd probably NEVER follow through on, but it doesn't change the fact that the fantasy existed in regards to that person.

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ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

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ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear


I do agree on the fact, "Nobody fantasizes about some smelly, toothless creep with ragged fingernails."  

there are two posts above you that challenge this "fact." it's not a universal idea, even though it may be true for some.
i've had fantasies involving people i would never be sexually attracted to in a bajillion years, and their personalities weren't all that stellar, either.
yet somehow, it was "hot" to me to fantasize about being raped by someone like that.

no idea why. =p that's a fantasy i'd probably NEVER follow through on, but it doesn't change the fact that the fantasy existed in regards to that person.

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ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

the greater my power over the attacker, the less fucking control he has over himself, and therefore the more control he takes of me and the situation, thereby weakening my fucking position. yet the more control he takes, the greater my fucking power grows, and so he loses more control of himself and takes more control, and so on, each feeding off the other.

the more this fucking power is exercised, the less control the victim has and the more helpless she is. conversely as the attacker's control grows, his fucking power lessens and the victim's grows. its almost as if there is this weird fucking symbiotic exchange going on, power for control, between rapist and victim.

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ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

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ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

the greater my power over the attacker, the less fucking control he has over himself, and therefore the more control he takes of me and the situation, thereby weakening my fucking position. yet the more control he takes, the greater my fucking power grows, and so he loses more control of himself and takes more control, and so on, each feeding off the other.

the more this fucking power is exercised, the less control the victim has and the more helpless she is. conversely as the attacker's control grows, his fucking power lessens and the victim's grows. its almost as if there is this weird fucking symbiotic exchange going on, power for control, between rapist and victim.

i don't think you're rambling at all, i jotted down something along those lines after your previous post.
i'm trying to avoid talking about the criminal half of this issue, but maybe that's where the rage comes for a lot of people -- realizing that they aren't really gaining power at all, but losing it.
but it's a different kind of relationship between power and control than what we normally think of.