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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 12:15:49 AM   
blacksword404


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

75% Of Women Wouldn't Marry An Unemployed Guy
Wed Jul 6, 2011 11:56am PDT

According to a recent YourTango and ForbesWoman survey, 75% of women wouldn't marry someone who was unemployed, ... Ironically, 91 percent of single women say they would marry for love over money.

Is this a conundrum or easily explainable?

Discuss.

Firm


One is more the truth and the other is more what they would like to be true. But isn't.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 12:46:02 AM   
hangemhigh1953


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Status: offline 		Actually I can see how there isn't a discrepancy. Most women probably aren't into it just for the money, but they see unemployed guys as lazy and complacent, and would prefer a guy who takes initiative. Face it, when asked the question "would you marry someone who's unemployed?" you don't think of a go-getter struggling for work in a tough economy, you imagine a lazy slob who lives on unemployment checks. It's the stigma of the word "unemployed" that got those results, not some underlying hypocrisy in women.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 2:17:31 AM   
needlesandpins


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Status: offline 		if i were of a mind where i wanted to be married then i would consider why the person was unemployed first. my ex ended up unemployed for 3 months and i was a stay at home mum earning cash-in-hand money because it was better than having to pay a childminder all my money from a formal job. but when he became unemployed it hit us very hard as we also had alot of other commitments at the time. him being with me every day also drove me nuts as i need my own space and quiet time.

so, it's not about being a gold digger, it's about them being able to fend for themself.

there are women though who will go for the out of work guy. you see them on the council estates all the time with a certain amount of kids in tow. these people generally have alot more disposable income than the average working joe because they know how to work the system. they get everything paid for and so the money they do have is theirs to spend on whatever. my earnt cash is very restricted and it's only that i've always been very good with money that i can do what i do with it. it does gripe though that i work and am still poorer than alot who don't.

needles

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 2:22:46 AM   
SerendipityWM


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Status: offline 		I probably wouldn't consider a woman who was volunatarily unemployed (unless the poverty trap makes it logical to stay out of work for the moment). There's something unlikeable about women who don't want to pull their weight in a relationship and dream of leeching off you - and I couldn't blame women for thinking similarly about men who aren't prepared to contribute at all financially or display a bit of work ethic.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 2:42:02 AM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

One is more the truth and the other is more what they would like to be true. But isn't.

the comparison isn't an either/or and there is no irony. The author linked 2 things that aren't actually related.
quote:

75% of women wouldn't marry someone who was unemployed, and 65% wouldn't tie the knot if they themselves were jobless.

This simply speaks to reality. It doesn't say that women won't date unemployed men or have relationships with them. The full quote just says that most women will not marry unless both partners are working. The variance can be attributed to those who would marry if the potential spouse made enough to support the family without a second income.
quote:

91 percent of single women say they would marry for love over money.

This actually is sort of an either/ or, but really has nothing to do with whether women would marry someone who is unemployed or not. A woman who chooses to marry a blue collar worker that she loves over an executive that she doesn't has chosen love over money, nothing to do with anyone being unemployed.


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 3:49:18 AM   
imperatrixx


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quote:

This simply speaks to reality. It doesn't say that women won't date unemployed men or have relationships with them. The full quote just says that most women will not marry unless both partners are working. The variance can be attributed to those who would marry if the potential spouse made enough to support the family without a second income.


Exactly. You have to wonder at the OP's issues with women for specifically omitting that part of the quote then asking if it showed that women were "gold diggers".

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 4:13:52 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

Interesting answer, Julia. May I ask you why you wouldn't be interested in someone who was retired?



Reread, I didn't say that at all


Short term memory problems?

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would not be interested in someone that was not employed, or retired.


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 4:26:32 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I would not be interested in someone that was not employed, or retired.



My above statement was made in the negative and oddly phrased, but if you look at what the word "or" means, it might make more sense.... someone employed or retired is where my interests lie, although I would date another student, also




Nope.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 4:29:32 AM   
imperatrixx


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 4:43:11 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444Its easily explainable, for me at least. If a guy doesnt want a gold digger and he wants to be loved for who he is then it is no different for me either. Actually, I am an anti-gold digger, I refuse to be bought and any guy that tries that, well, he politely gets shown the door, he would be someone I could not trust (to not trade me in next year).


I'm the same, TJ. If a woman doesnt want a gold digger and she wants to be loved for who she is then it is no different for me either. I refuse to be bought and any woman that tries that will get shown the door.

Looks so funny when you swap the genders.




< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 7/9/2011 4:44:11 AM >

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 4:55:55 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: imperatrixx

Exactly. You have to wonder at the OP's issues with women for specifically omitting that part of the quote then asking if it showed that women were "gold diggers".


Maybe those issues result from a dose of reality.

Browse the red profiles and give me an estimate of how many mention financial domination.

I especially like the ones where their pics are of money.

Should I provide some examples?

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:01:41 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

Browse the red profiles and give me an estimate of how many mention financial domination.


Sorry, FinDommes on CM are not representative of the female population. Hell, they may not even be female!

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:04:13 AM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

for me, it would depend on the reason, especially right now when people are having a lot of difficulty finding/ keeping jobs. a lot of really great people are unemployed and it doesn't say anything about their character; they just got caught in the downsizing nets. if someone's unemployed and sits on his duff and does nothing about it, that's different from someone who finds other ways to make ends meet while still trying to find a regular job.

i don't look at unemployment as a dealbreaker unless the reasons behind it are totally within the person's control and that person chooses to do nothing about it. unemployment, in and of itself, doesn't say anything about a person's character at all.



What Lilly said

Now, I didn't read the article (will do so at some point in the next days) but personally I have the view that I expect from a partner as much as I expect from myself.

That means, for example, that I will have my own mortgage before I turn 40 (almost bought it when I was 19 but then life came in its way) and also expect the guy to be stable in that age. That doesn't mean that he has to have his mortgage but it does mean that he should be financially stable enough to contribute to supporting a family.

I was once involved with a guy in the UK and considered to give him a chance, however, it became apparent that he only moaned about how little he is earning there (and did not bother to think what he could do to earn more, e. g. via a second job or via changing his career as I did when I did my studies there) and when we spoke about aspects such as that we would relocate to NZ later and that he would have to work for that goal as well accordingly, it was obvious, that he can't be bothered to work one single hour more than a normal job demands from you...

well, quite frankly then it was time to say, thanks but no thanks.

We are still in touch but it is clear to me that we arent compatible...as quite frankly I don't fancy to raise kids at some point with a partner who can't get his arse up to get his life a fair bit better...so quite frankly I am not bothered about a guy being posh, but I am bothered about him doing the best he can do, to help financially at least on a similar level within a relationship, if possible....and don't carry through life a slob

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 7/9/2011 5:05:19 AM >

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:17:23 AM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: imperatrixx

Exactly. You have to wonder at the OP's issues with women for specifically omitting that part of the quote then asking if it showed that women were "gold diggers".

Maybe "the OP's issues" is that he thought it would be an interesting, thought-provoking, and perhaps mayhem filled thread.

Dumbass.

Firm


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:18:22 AM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
Not to speak for her but I have read other womens comments when their hubbys retire and many times the guy drives them nuts cuz he is underfoot all the time and micro-managing!


QFT!!!

Since I moved to my parents, temporarily, it is beyond belief how my dad started to micromanage their fridge...what has to be in which shelf....FFS



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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:23:32 AM   
kalikshama


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Status: offline 		Obviously this is not statistically significant, but I had three serious relationships with men who were underemployed and the main reason for this was their alcoholism.

Assuming he is not retired, I am interested in a man's employment status because of what it says about how he is spending his day, not because of his net worth. Two of the three above ended up owing me money. I had no expectations that the 20-something would pay me back but I certainly expected the 40-something to pull his own weight.

I lost interest in a man last year when I realized he was financially irresponsible. He prioritized looking good over making his car payment

The only man I was ever serious enough to marry did have an extraordinary work ethic.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:26:24 AM   
Aneirin


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Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers ; I suppose something similar could be asked about men, what is it they want from a women in reality.

In the past it was all about nurture, the almost unwritten rule that one must have a family, a woman seeking a healthy employed male as a partner is logical and at the same time primitive, the law of nature, for whilst a woman produces the offspring, the man is responsible for feeding the offspring and the woman, the mama bird in the nest scenario.

But now as the desire to produce offspring is waning, I wonder if natural D/s comes into the mix even with the nillas, the desire to 'own ' someone and have them at a dominant's beck and call, an object to hang on the arm and take pleasure of now and again, almost like a personal servant for some.

But then there are others who seek their equal and opposite to  complement each other.

But myself being unemployed, I am aware of my lack of attractiveness to potential mates, a reason to seek employment, but thwarted in the fact that there is little employment, so stress and all it's attributes becomes a problem to add to the unemployment problem. But then I am not bitter, for if it were me and I saw someone like myself as attractive but feckless, I also would leave alone if I could not inspire them to think outside the box. But with myself I am on the verge of starting my own business, a business that when it happens, time is something that will be scarce I know full well and then I wonder at my attractiveness then, being physicaly tired for working with rusty metal, grease and a bellows blown coke fire.


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:46:30 AM   
imperatrixx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

Maybe those issues result from a dose of reality.

Browse the red profiles and give me an estimate of how many mention financial domination.

I especially like the ones where their pics are of money.

Should I provide some examples?



Well, a dose of reality would be that there's a 10% difference between women who would marry if they were unemployed and women who would marry if their spouse were unemployed.

I'm sure you'll find that 10% difference to be a huuuuuuge deal, if you're already ready to cherry pick random profiles on a sex website to prove your point.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:49:01 AM   
Hillwilliam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I suppose something similar could be asked about men, what is it they want from a women in reality.



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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/9/2011 5:50:40 AM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		It's very simple. They don't want a guy without a job because they don't want to marry a gold digger. Why is there the assumption that gold diggers are universally female when if viewed otherwise it is patently obvious why the women polled chose that response.

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