RE: Did anyone else notice ..

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LadyHibiscus -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 7:38:04 AM)
LOL!! LP and I crossed posts, I just read your "flipping mess" comment! Speaking as a person who has DMd at events large and small...most of the kind of thing we are talking about here just doesnt get reported. Honestly, it's laughed off more than anything, as long as the other party doesn't try to lay hands on someone. Someone super pesky might get mentioned to the party organizer, but unless obvious rules are broken, it's looked on as a "you don't ask, you don't get". SOMEONE might want to play with the dude asking anyone and everyone to spank him! It's a matter of what we pay attention to, I guess. I used to go into every event as if I were a DM. I was also one of those go-to people, so I was on the inside of "please help me get rid of this guy" more often than I would like. It's been a long time since anyone approached ME in a less than desirable manner, but that's ME. I still see it happening, and cruise on around the problem areas.

kalikshama -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 8:54:07 AM)
quote: There are a large cadre of porn driven men who see anyone with a vadge as a potential fetish delivery system. The OP speaks to that pretty clearly. Yes, since this is discussed all the time in this forum I was surprised to see all the hostility to the OP.

tj444 -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 8:59:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus There are a large cadre of porn driven men who see anyone with a vadge as a potential fetish delivery system. The OP speaks to that pretty clearly. I am a chilly piece, they don't bother me, or learn swiftly not to. But they are there, believe me. ... (TJ crosses munches & BDSM events off her bucket list)... [:D]

LaTigresse -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 9:05:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JWriter .. that, in the majority, the same expectations and requirements exist for all females, whether subs, slaves, switches, Dommes, or, etc? Dress in leather. Wear pointy-toed shoes Offer me your ass. Beguile me with your cunt and tits Spend my money, but, only on things that please me. If you want something from me, perform to my expectations first. Look like an Auschwitz victim, by weight. Wear bright red lipstick. Keep yourself impeccably groomed at all times. Don't expect me to pay for it. Never be comfortable. Never be weak. Never be human. Try not to speak. In photos, the only way you can tell the difference between a "Mistress" and a "slave girl", most of the time is by whether she is standing or kneeling. Sometimes, you can't tell, even then. And, apparently, both are 24/7 jobs of enforced activity, to heighten the male sense and drain the male libido. Ahhhhhhh...........NO! Certainly some of the bullshit you've listed may exist but I don't notice it. I am of the belief that the things we give attention to, we are giving power to. I choose what I give attention/power to. Your life would be much more productive and happy if you did the same thing.

keepfromfreezing -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 9:19:31 AM)
I created this specific profile to counteract against this somewhat delusional Domme. She was the most judgmental person i ever encountered here on CM, by far. As others have said here, the original writing makes no sense whatsoever.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 9:22:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Certainly some of the bullshit you've listed may exist but I don't notice it. I am of the belief that the things we give attention to, we are giving power to. I choose what I give attention/power to. Your life would be much more productive and happy if you did the same thing. I do, it's block and delete...

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 11:17:54 AM)
quote: Yes, since this is discussed all the time in this forum I was surprised to see all the hostility to the OP. i guess you skimmed over the 60 or 70 odd posts explaining just why the fuck people were hostile, eh?

LadyConstanze -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 12:56:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyCats Just for my two cents about the OP as I only read a page and a half of the exchange that followed... Yep. I've noticed a fair number (no where near all) of Domme pictures that I instictively and instantly labeled "sub" when I saw them. I was honestly more than a little surprised at the style similarities. To be fair, I don't ususally skim through the Domme profiles, so the observations are based on a pretty limited sample size. I ususally leave the filter in place when I actually searched this and other D/s dating sites. Now I know why I should leave those filters on... I would likely email one of those Domme's with a picture I saw as submissive. That wouldn't be a recipe for disaster, now would it? Oddly enough I had a few guys telling me I look submissive and crawling or kneeling in my picture, always made me laugh, especially when I skimmed their profiles. I kinda like the pic and for me it's more a "ready to pounce", but what's more important, I got a mask on and I don't really want to flash my face in my profile, the guys who told me that, let's say their experience of BDSM was possibly reading BDSM based porn and masturbating furiously, as they had rather odd ideas (judging from their profiles) and I always felt that if I would add a bit of hot water, I'd have an "instant dom"

GreedyTop -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 1:06:54 PM)
jeez, LadyC..I've never viewed your pic as 'submissive' in nature... of course, I tend not to make judgements like that unless it's a pic like clip's... he is apparently kneeling in front of LadyP. But that judegment comes from interacting with LadyP so much, I think.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 1:11:55 PM)
There's absolutely nothing wrong with submissives, I think most submissives have more strength than a lot of selfappointed dominants, for me it's a sexual preference, and guys or girls who enjoy being submissive are often rather successful, in control of themselves and quite smart. I don't get the whole idea why calling somebody "submissive" is something like an insult. I know a bunch of submissives (male and female ones) who can tear some dom/mes a new one without even breaking into a sweat!

GreedyTop -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 1:23:56 PM)
I agree!!

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 1:32:20 PM)
quote: I know a bunch of submissives (male and female ones) who can tear some dom/mes a new one without even breaking into a sweat! i got one of those! let me tell you it keeps you on your fucking toes. [:D]

Hillwilliam -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 1:33:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: I know a bunch of submissives (male and female ones) who can tear some dom/mes a new one without even breaking into a sweat! i got one of those! let me tell you it keeps you on your fucking toes. [:D] Had one for 5 years. Damn she was fun and she's still one of My best friends.

LaTigresse -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 2:01:49 PM)
Indeed, and when all of that is your's..........yum!

NuevaVida -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 2:35:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Certainly some of the bullshit you've listed may exist but I don't notice it. I am of the belief that the things we give attention to, we are giving power to. I choose what I give attention/power to. Your life would be much more productive and happy if you did the same thing. I couldn't agree more, LaT. It may or may not exist. If it does (and I don't doubt that some things on the list might be others' experiences), it's not in my line of focus at all.

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 2:35:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: I know a bunch of submissives (male and female ones) who can tear some dom/mes a new one without even breaking into a sweat! i got one of those! let me tell you it keeps you on your fucking toes. [:D] Had one for 5 years. Damn she was fun and she's still one of My best friends. Yay!! My snark is desirable! Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it Hanners! <Oh spit! Did I say that out loud?> Hey, um, Cheri, wanna go see a movie or something. Do some groceries, rake a lawn, anything. Yes, right now, please.

CrazyCats -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 4:05:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyCats I would likely email one of those Domme's with a picture I saw as submissive. Interesting...and please understand I'm not picking on you, just curious about your choice of words. What, exactly makes for a "submissive" image enough to call into question which side of the whip she's on. I had a photo up that was shot from a downward angle that gave the appearance of my head bowed (I was actually at my cat, fwiw). I can't tell you the amout of d-type men told me I was a "lovely sub". The photo's gone because I like to rotate pics often, but the question remains. Oddly enough, it's the use of clothing more often than not. I know, for instance, that there are many Dommes who do the really high heels thing. Heels are sexy, I get that. What tosses high heels and thigh highs into "submissive" range for me is the lack of anything else on the gal. Heels are meant to give the impression of "just about to fall over." On a Domme, they show poise, balance, and control. On a (usually not wearing much else) sub, they highten vulnerability, while still showing off the same level of grace. My perception of the idealized Domme is a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality, but subtle and provocative. Guys tend to be more visually driven, thus the slow exposure of flesh is a tool of control for a woman. When I think of the idealized submissive, there are two catagories: the mouse and the vixen. They tend to be the two extremes for introverts and extroverts. The vixen tends towards "porn" style, while the mouse tends to need coaxing. The two are polar opposites, and most subs fall on the range between. I suppose I should not be all that surprised that Dommes have the same range in style. Human behavior, for all of it's kinks and twists, tends to follow patterns. Some obtain attention from the opposite sex by drawing them in and captivating. On the other hand, some draw attention by being the center of attention. There are more than a few other ways, but those two tend to be the most consistant. That is likely due to the scale of introvert/extrovert. Perhaps a naked Domme is more like a drug. Once taken, the aim is to create dependence. As for LadyConstanze's picture, I can see how it would look submissive, but the expression definitely pushs that idea out for me.

PeonForHer -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 5:58:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JWriter .. that, in the majority, the same expectations and requirements exist for all females, whether subs, slaves, switches, Dommes, or, etc? Dress in leather. Wear pointy-toed shoes Offer me your ass. Beguile me with your cunt and tits Spend my money, but, only on things that please me. If you want something from me, perform to my expectations first. Look like an Auschwitz victim, by weight. Wear bright red lipstick. Keep yourself impeccably groomed at all times. Don't expect me to pay for it. Never be comfortable. Never be weak. Never be human. Try not to speak. In photos, the only way you can tell the difference between a "Mistress" and a "slave girl", most of the time is by whether she is standing or kneeling. Sometimes, you can't tell, even then. And, apparently, both are 24/7 jobs of enforced activity, to heighten the male sense and drain the male libido. Well, this thread went tits up in the first few pages or so. Never mind, that just happens here, I'm afraid. I have to say I've never really noticed that so many of the demands made of femsubs are similar to those made of femdoms. However, that may be because femsubs, as a group, aren't my usual 'target'. Just one question: femsubs are required never to be weak? That's counterintuitive to me . . . .

LadyAngelika -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 6:58:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika I don't really chalk down LadyPact's experience to luck. I think it has more to do with the choices she has made. It also very likely has something to do with the fact that she has no tolerance for anything but respect. I happen to think so. Thank you for saving Me the keystrokes. Nice to see you back. Nice to be back :)

LadyAngelika -> RE: Did anyone else notice .. (8/1/2011 7:03:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika I don't really chalk down LadyPact's experience to luck. I think it has more to do with the choices she has made. It also very likely has something to do with the fact that she has no tolerance for anything but respect. Or geographical area, though the number of clueless or mannerless new attendees at any given event is also going to depend on that group's pre-screening policy Ok. But I wasn't limiting this only to the realm of BDSM. I was saying in general. I don't go to munches or BDSM events, so I can't comment on them. But you did, inadvertently, since that is what LP and I were talking about. Well I think I know what I was talking about, and in my further posts, I explained that. :) The reason I don't go to munches has nothing to do with the fear of not being respected. I just don't feel the need for them. I don't discuss my kink in public, only on public message boards. I know, one of my idiosyncrasies.

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