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RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 2:52:06 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think, unless I was unclear, that I've explained the aspect of the OP that made it embarrassing........to ME.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 2:53:49 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		FR

I can see the logic in wanting to say goodbye. My problem is more with the tone of the actual post, and Peon, I think you're ignoring that because of your affection for LNT. Which is fine, and you're perfectly entitled to do so, but it's not accurate to say that none of the drama in this thread has come from her.

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 3:03:55 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		To be honest, the tone of the post isn't overly dramatic, I read it as "I'm seriously pissed off and need a break, bye people" - then Lady P explained a bit, I can understand the frustration, might have been a bit too quick, but hell, haven't we all been pissed off at one point or other.

There is not a lot of drama in the post here coming from LNT, there's a lot of drama from people calling her a drama queen and all sorts of shit, which is kinda odd, because if they find that so overly dramatic, why are they doing their best to cause drama and do a bit of ankle biting when LNT is gone? I mean she's hardly Kevin or "You're all mean to me, I am going now (for the 20th time this week)" - so she was pissed off and said bye, fine, but why then snap and go after her for that? There's a lot of worse stuff happening here, she never struck me as a drama lama, I don't know why so much venom is directed at her.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 3:13:12 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

FR

I can see the logic in wanting to say goodbye. My problem is more with the tone of the actual post, and Peon, I think you're ignoring that because of your affection for LNT. Which is fine, and you're perfectly entitled to do so, but it's not accurate to say that none of the drama in this thread has come from her.


Hon, I remember a discussion LnT had some time ago with others here on CM. It involved one of the life-long griefs that she'd had with others: that people continually projected feelings onto what she said that weren't there. I have a strong idea that this is largely, if not completely, the case here, too. The tone that you see may well not be the tone that she was trying to convey.

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 3:23:11 PM   
SuzeCheri


Posts: 483
Joined: 7/19/2011
From: Outside looking in
Status: offline 		I have nothing to add one way or another, I just want to say that your avatar is super cool!! I never noticed it before.

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RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 3:31:13 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Hon, I remember a discussion LnT had some time ago with others here on CM. It involved one of the life-long griefs that she'd had with others: that people continually projected feelings onto what she said that weren't there. I have a strong idea that this is largely, if not completely, the case here, too. The tone that you see may well not be the tone that she was trying to convey.

See, I'd go with that, except:

quote:

I expect this will also be deleted in short order...


I just don't see any other way to interpret that, or any other tone to hear/see it in, other than offended. And I don't think anyone who has been here for a while gets to be offended by post deletion and still have me take them seriously, I'm afraid.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 3:36:53 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

There's a lot of worse stuff happening here, she never struck me as a drama lama, I don't know why so much venom is directed at her.

I can't speak for anyone else, but if you think this is venom coming from me then you don't know me very well.

This is disappointment more than anything. I think in my brain I hold LNT to a higher standard than most posters.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 3:56:09 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Some people need to say good bye, other just slip out. Some people need to express their disappointment in order to purge it, others find other outlets.

When this place became a little too much a year ago, I let some people know in private notes. I wanted to leave myself the option to come back one day, whether it be a week, a month, or a year (which it happened to be).

I'm inclined to agree with VC and LaTigresse in that this wouldn't be the way I'd do it. That said, if LNT needed to do it this way, I hope it gave her the closure she needed.

In the end, we all have to do what is right for us.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 3:57:45 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

I've seen it happen on a few other (non-BDSM) boards in my time, and recognise the symptoms. To be fair, CM forums have been declining for a while, and these are just the death throes.
Perhaps you should consider the common denominator in these dying forums....

Look, I've been here pretty much as long as anybody, and I don't see things as any worse than they ever were, in fact they have picked up lately and gotten far more entertaining. There will always be people bemoaning change, or the fact that somebody new comes along who is more entertaining or insightful. That's life, I personally wouldn't be here if it were simply a stagnant board with the same old people saying the same old things in response to the same old questions, that's why I avoid the P&R section these days.

I'm always happy to see new blood, new approaches, and new ideas. I don't want the old CM to come back, I was here when it was, it was great, I enjoyed it, now lets move on. I look forward to what CM becomes, whatever that may be.



You know Arpig, I've frequented this site on and off for over 7 years and I'd consider your assessment to be pretty bang on. Thanks for this.


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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 4:03:14 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeCheri

I have nothing to add one way or another, I just want to say that your avatar is super cool!! I never noticed it before.



Thank you!

Animation courtesy of Arpig. That lad knows his way around Photoshop . . . .

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 4:29:05 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I can't speak for anyone else, but if you think this is venom coming from me then you don't know me very well.


From what I know of LnT, those words are pretty much what she has had to say many times to others, but in relation to herself.

As for "I expect this will also be deleted in short order..." and your view that "I don't think anyone who has been here for a while gets to be offended by post deletion and still have me take them seriously, I'm afraid."

- No, not with you on that. OK, making the (big) assumption, for the sake of argument, she *was* offended - then, for me, it goes to fundamentally different views people have of forums and how they treat them. At one end are those who craft posts like essays, at the other end are the internet equivalent of those who splurge their wiggly signatures in ugly paint all over walls ("signing", I'm told it's called). Me, I do stuff that rarely approaches the essay-level, but when I do, I *am* aghast to see it deleted. To have written like that, I'd need to have gone into almost academic mode. People have paid me to write like that before. But here I am, giving it unpaid, and it gets deleted? Whoa. No. Fortunately, that's never happened to me, everyone will be glad to know.

It's like the much-proffered view here that, on forums, 'these are just words on a page'. For some, that's true; for others, it plainly is not. No-one gets to dictate how we 'just must' see this or any other forum.

The bottom line here for me is that, seeing this forum and feeling about it the way I think she does, I could a) understand why she might be offended (though I still feel that she wasn't putting that into her OP) but b) also feel that she has to say 'goodbye', in a civil way, to the friends she's made.

For what it's worth - me, if I'd written a lot, and thought it out, and seen it deleted - yep, I might well feel offended and want to go, but would feel cold at not saying 'goodbye'. If people were then to turn that into a drama . . . well, that'd only confirm that I was doing the right thing by going.






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(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 4:56:06 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		And I'll say again that if you (generic) continue to post quite happily while other people's posts are randomly deleted and don't find that objectionable then I don't think you get to be angry when it's your turn, no matter how much importance you do or don't place on words posted on a forum.

I don't really want to continue this, lovely one. We've both made our positions pretty clear, and I don't think we're going to agree. But that's ok. The world will continue to turn. :p

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 5:09:51 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

And I'll say again that if you (generic) continue to post quite happily while other people's posts are randomly deleted and don't find that objectionable then I don't think you get to be angry when it's your turn, no matter how much importance you do or don't place on words posted on a forum.


I'd say, for me, I'd expect those others to complain, for themselves, if they felt that way. Incidentally, the forum that I used to use closed, two weeks ago, due to lack of interest. The good writers had all left, long before, leaving only the insulters and the witterers. C'est la vie . . . .

quote:

I don't really want to continue this, lovely one. We've both made our positions pretty clear, and I don't think we're going to agree. But that's ok. The world will continue to turn. :p


OK, me dear. I will still allow you to hug me when next we meet.

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(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Wishing you well - 8/4/2011 5:20:17 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		If hse bites you hard, it will have nothing to do with this.

No I am not fixing the phone generated typo.

As flounces go, this one was pretty smooth. I will miss LnT's posts, and I hope she decides to come back.


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(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 3:54:02 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

then go elsewhere if this site sucks so fucking much. see, easy peasy. follow lnt - buh bye


The site doesn't suck at all. But yeah, the rabid trailer trash determined to reduce it to online ghetto status just by being themselves - that sucks.

Nonetheless, please do hold your breath waiting for me to go elsewhere just because of the likes of you and yours - that'll happen!

I note you've developed a small fan base with your wharfie's wit; inspired some, even.... But inevitably that winning personality will just keep pissing more people off and it'll be you who leaves - through "boredom", naturally. In with a bang and out with a wimper most won't even notice. I will, of course; drama-queen attention junkies are soooo predictable....

Focus.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 4:14:09 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Hon, I remember a discussion LnT had some time ago with others here on CM. It involved one of the life-long griefs that she'd had with others: that people continually projected feelings onto what she said that weren't there. I have a strong idea that this is largely, if not completely, the case here, too. The tone that you see may well not be the tone that she was trying to convey.

See, I'd go with that, except:

quote:

I expect this will also be deleted in short order...


I just don't see any other way to interpret that, or any other tone to hear/see it in, other than offended. And I don't think anyone who has been here for a while gets to be offended by post deletion and still have me take them seriously, I'm afraid.



She said she expects this will be deleted in short order... Well, I expect it will rain today fairly soon, looks cloudy, hope my washing dries before it rains. I hope you don't interpret that as offended, though I'm not particularly happy about it being overcast...

If she's offended by post deletion that's her feelings, and I'm afraid that the fact if you take somebody elses feelings seriously or not don't really matter much regarding the way they feel. In case I stub my toe, my toe will hurt, regardless if you take it seriously or not. I find it strange that you expect LNT to feel what you deem is acceptable or serious, if she's feeling hurt, that's what she's feeling, no matter how anybody else views it. I'd hate to have somebody tell me what I feel or should be feeling, and I'm pretty sure you would too, so why try and tell her that what she's feeling makes you take her less seriously?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 6:23:01 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I'd have to disagree, hon.

Starting a thread announcing your departure is drama. It's not debate, it's not discussion, it doesn't serve any purpose but drama.


Not especially. 

When it's time for Me to decide to pursue other ventures, I probably will drop a public note to say that I am moving on.  It saves folks from that age old, "I wonder what ever happened to" bit.  It won't be some drama filled thing for Me and it certainly won't be because some incident pissed Me off, or because things on this site didn't go the way that I thought they should.  I'll just be saying thanks for the time and the conversation.
 
As with everything else on this site, I'll do it whether folks like it or not.





That just shows good manners (as another posted stated) because you'll be gone for x amt. of time due to personal obligations.  It's the "my feelings are hurt, CM moderation sucks goodbye forever" threads that are laughable.

Reg your last statement, you post in such a classy way that those on the receiving end don't know if they've been insulted or chastised or both so they can't really complain.


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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 6:35:16 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I've already said that I'm unwilling to continue discussing this. Too much like drama, innit.

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 7:08:48 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

I've already said that I'm unwilling to continue discussing this. Too much like drama, innit.



Quite, you said it all there, quite dramatically, a lot more drama than LNT's post and not much of a discussion either...

quote:

I'd have to disagree, hon.

Starting a thread announcing your departure is drama. It's not debate, it's not discussion, it doesn't serve any purpose but drama.

Deciding to leave because some of your posts have been deleted is also kind of llama-ish. She's been here for years, and moderation's been patchy and uneven for at least the whole time I've been here - to sit happily and continue to post while other people's posts are randomly deleted and then only decide it's intolerable when it's your posts seems...well. For someone who places such a high premium on honour I don't consider this terribly honourable behaviour.


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 7:25:29 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		There is a group on "FetLife" for those folks who left CM under less than favorable conditions of their own making.  They like to bash CM over there and more or less commiserate over the unfair treatment they received.
I'm sure those that will miss the OP here will find her in that group.

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 60
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