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RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 7:37:50 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		This is just sad. Pro... Con... whatever side one thinks of this topic... its just fucking sad.

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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 7:52:41 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		All I thought about yesterday was, what if one of the regular dominant males posted the same thing. He would be flamed up one side and down the other. And very likely by some of the same people that had the opposite reaction here.

I may be wrong..........but I sincerely doubt it.


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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 9:02:59 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		The resemblance between you and a penis is more than just physical, isn't it Focus?

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 12:06:43 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		My, what a lot of, er, interesting interpretations.

Seriously, just take what I said at face value.  There is no more to it.  I have really enjoyed chatting with everyone here, I wish you well, and I wanted to say goodbye, because I don't have the time or energy to do it any more under the current conditions.   I genuinely like the folks here and I really didn't want to leave without the equivalent of a virtual hug or at least a friendly wave for everybody.

Everything I have posted to this thread regarding the specific issue that is taking more of my time and energy than I can continue giving, which is not with other posters, was deleted.  The same happened to another poster on this thread who emailed me and asked for an explanation.  I suggested she not bother reposting my explanation to the thread because it would most likely be deleted.  She did repost it and it was deleted.  So that's why I'm currently pretty dubious on what is actually going to stay posted here.  There was no drama in what she posted, just an explanation she passed on of why I feel personally uncomfortable continuing to spend a lot of time writing on erasable surfaces. 

I respect that other people don't mind writing on a chalkboard, and that it can be a perfectly functional way to chat and communicate, but it's just not working for me.  Not because I imagine my writing has any great value to others, but because it has value to me personally.  I have to make a sensible cost-benefit decision about where I spend my time and energy.  I do respect that the moderators may simply not have time to run a busy forum any other way than as a chalkboard, but as a result I don't have the time to write on it.  Journaling or writing on my own site will work much better for me, because I tend to invest a lot of personal time and energy into my writing rather than dashing off replies.  So message board writing in a tumultuous environment requiring frequent unannounced and unexplained thread-pulling is not compatible with how I write.  This is not a judgment on anyone, just a rational cost-benefit decision with regards to my own needs. 

Sadly I can not share my journal site here, which is why I wanted to say goodbye.  I do not have personal issues with any poster here and none of you are the reason I need to make the decision to spend my writing time and energy on more permanent surfaces.  Even the habitual f-bomb droppers and jokers are just plain sassy and funny; none of them have particularly offended or annoyed me.  I really will miss you all. 

The only posts that have not been deleted with regards to why I need to make this decision have been rather vague, because that's all that is getting left up.  But vagueness seems to be subject to a lot of misinterpretation, so I've tried one more time to say goodbye in a way that is a little more understandable.  That means this post is pretty borderline close to what has already been deleted, so it may or may not disappear.  I don't know.  In any case, for folks who do see this, I wish you all well.  I will keep my profile up on the other side so folks can get hold of me outside the forums if they like. 

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 8/5/2011 12:07:48 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 12:13:28 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeCheri

I have nothing to add one way or another, I just want to say that your avatar is super cool!! I never noticed it before.



and what is so awesome is that there is an amazing person behind that yummy picture :)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 12:17:17 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

then go elsewhere if this site sucks so fucking much. see, easy peasy. follow lnt - buh bye


The site doesn't suck at all. But yeah, the rabid trailer trash determined to reduce it to online ghetto status just by being themselves - that sucks.

Nonetheless, please do hold your breath waiting for me to go elsewhere just because of the likes of you and yours - that'll happen!

I note you've developed a small fan base with your wharfie's wit; inspired some, even.... But inevitably that winning personality will just keep pissing more people off and it'll be you who leaves - through "boredom", naturally. In with a bang and out with a wimper most won't even notice. I will, of course; drama-queen attention junkies are soooo predictable....

Focus.



this thread isnt about YOU and your dislike for Hannah/Heather.

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 12:18:19 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		THE HIDE FUNCTION IT IS OUR FRIEND!!

LnT, can you shoot me a link to your site on the other side?

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 12:23:57 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Hon, I remember a discussion LnT had some time ago with others here on CM. It involved one of the life-long griefs that she'd had with others: that people continually projected feelings onto what she said that weren't there. I have a strong idea that this is largely, if not completely, the case here, too. The tone that you see may well not be the tone that she was trying to convey.

See, I'd go with that, except:

quote:

I expect this will also be deleted in short order...


I just don't see any other way to interpret that, or any other tone to hear/see it in, other than offended. And I don't think anyone who has been here for a while gets to be offended by post deletion and still have me take them seriously, I'm afraid.


It's not offense.  It's looking at evidence and drawing a conclusion.  I had logical reasons to expect that post to be deleted, not emotional ones. 

It's also not that I'm stomping off in a huff, swearing never to darken a single pixel on Collarme again.  I just needed to make a personal decision about where it is and isn't optimal for me to be investing a lot of writing time, and to let folks know that I'll miss chatting with them. 

I am willing to clear up any confusion on this thread, as I have time (I'm REALLY slammed this week) and as the moderators decide to allow.   But they really haven't allowed, which is why I'm extremely dubious about what may or may not get yanked if I post it.


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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 12:31:03 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

THE HIDE FUNCTION IT IS OUR FRIEND!!


No problems on this end with the lesbian Richard Pryor duo.  LOL  Reading their stuff is more fun than watching South Park.  Granted, their vociferousness has probably contributed pretty significantly to the random thread-yanking, and I don't think they quite understand where I'm actually coming from most of the time, but that's not something I personally hold against them. 


quote:

LnT, can you shoot me a link to your site on the other side?


Not the vanilla one, I'm sorry.  I've outed myself to some local community members whom I know face to face, but I just can't do it over the Internet.  If you're ever in NC, please feel free to drop me a line. 


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Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 1:04:28 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Ok.

I wish you well, LNT. I'm still not quite sure I understand where you're coming from, but that's ok. :-)

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(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Wishing you well - 8/5/2011 1:26:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I do know where you are coming from LnT, and I would never hide Hanners & Heather, only blowhards :)

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Wishing you well - 8/6/2011 3:48:27 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

The resemblance between you and a penis is more than just physical, isn't it Focus?


Whoa, are you still looking for that elusive cause to champion????

Talk about the little engine that could.... lol

Focus.

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(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Wishing you well - 8/6/2011 3:55:41 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

this thread isnt about YOU and your dislike for Hannah/Heather.


Then perhaps you shouldn't be giving a full replay with the quote function...?

<chuckles>

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Wishing you well - 8/6/2011 6:57:32 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i have to agree with LaTigresse here --
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

All I thought about yesterday was, what if one of the regular dominant males posted the same thing. He would be flamed up one side and down the other. And very likely by some of the same people that had the opposite reaction here.

I may be wrong..........but I sincerely doubt it.



if a man or GEEZ a sub male had written this post, it would be a full chorus of "wah wah wah" and "dont let the door hit you, etc etc." the double-standard is irritating, to say the least.

-- but other than that, LadyNTrainer's posts were always very well thought out and level-headed, which was nice about her. i hope she's happier putting her energy elsewhere; i imagine she will be.

also, i don't necessarily think "drama" is always bad. drama just IS. people read negative connotations into it because modern people now have this attitude that you can't be anything other than totally happy at all times. sharing a legitimate gripe is "omgz drama," instead of just a statement of a gripe. sometimes "drama" is used to call attention to something that's important to someone. LadyNTrainer was unhappy about something, and is calling attention to it; whether someone else thinks it's worthwhile or not doesn't really matter. i'm sad she's leaving but frankly, i've been spending my forum time elsewhere; this place has seriously gone downhill.

and as to what the thread is "about" -- threads go off the deep-end all the time here on CM; it's part of how things work here. it's just this time, it's going off about a person who's negative effect here has been mostly excused and cheered on. the hide function only works so well.


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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Wishing you well - 8/6/2011 8:01:57 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with all that you said, Lilly.  As for downhill, well it ebbs and flows.  Right now I see a lot more negativity than I've ever seen before, and I'm hoping that cycles back around soon.

I don't think it's a bad thing to talk about why someone chooses to leave.  Agree or disagree, it simply "is."  It's not a bad thing to talk about what the influences to a forum are.  There will always be those who like the way things are, and those who do not.  If I don't like something, I can choose to (a) accept and don't let it bother me; (b) try to create my own influence to improve it; or (c) remove myself.  There's no right or wrong answer - it's a personal choice.

LadyNTrainer, I wish you well.  We all have our own reasons for doing things; If people choose to judge those reasons (and they always will - it's human nature to do so), that's really up to them but in the end, our reasons are our reasons, and I respect your reasons for choosing to stop participating here. Thanks for what you've shared along the way.  While I may not have frequently responded to your posts, I read them and appreciate your contribution here.


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(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 75
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