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how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 6:26:38 AM

LillyBoPeep

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this is probably a goony topic, but oh well. =p

on FL i have a silly little group for short chicks and people who like them. a lot of the women there like to date tall men, and a lot of the tall men gravitated there to talk to short women. =p
i'm not really setting out to make this a height thread, just a "physical stuff in general" thread. and i'm not really even talking about appearance. (oh and before anyone assumes as much, i know very well that height does not translate into dominance; i've met some pretty tall msubs in my day.)

so far in my life, all of my relationships have been with men 5'11 and taller. i was musing on FL that i think i just like how it feels to look up at men that i'm attracted to, but i also realized how superficial that was.
i'm attracted to expressions of physical superiority since that's usually what gets me. a hands-on, grabby, put-you-where-i-want you guy will always get points with me. injuries or things like arthritis don't really factor in; the previous Fella's back was hurt in the army, i like older types so i run into arthritis every now and then. =p

but it's the illustration of the power dynamic that i like; i don't know how much it really matters to me, though, because i've just never had a serious relationship with anyone shorter than 5'11. i have been actively pursued by tall guys who like the fact that i'm short, because it means "something" to them, but they don't really seem to know what. =p
do things like this matter to you?
do you ever think about why?
there have been studies on how people are subconsciously affected by waist-to-hip ratios and things like that; how much do you think things like this really matter?

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 6:33:42 AM

DesFIP

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I'm only attracted to guys around 6' myself. And I'm under 5'4". Don't know if that qualifies as short to you. When I was a kid, that was the average height for women in the U.S. although today the average woman is 5'6".

I like the way it feels to have my head on his shoulder. I don't know if it translates into dominance for me so much as protectiveness. He's bigger and stronger so he can protect me. In much the same way I'm only interested in guys who are good with their hands, who can listen to the strange noise the washing machine makes and announce the solenoid is going bad. Who can talk to auto mechanics. That's also protectiveness. I'm not alone with the mechanic about to get ripped off.

It isn't necessary because living in a small town you learn who is the honest mechanic or repairman and who isn't so trustworthy. But it still feels safer to have him make announcements about it. And there's something amazing about him spending ten minutes and fixing whatever it is.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 7:10:17 AM

HisPet21

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I certainly have physical preferences. I've always, too, preferred men taller than me to men shorter than me. Though, I'm relatively short as it is, so I haven't had to actively seek taller men...most men I run into are taller than me or are, at least, about my height.

But, in general, physical appearances aren't a biggie for me. I'm more attracted to intelligence than physical appearances. I'll take a handsome brain over a six pack any day of the week.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 7:35:18 AM

0ldhen

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I have an odd yet absolute requirement when it comes to the physical....the guy has to smell "right" to me. No deoderant, no cologne on the 1st meet. They could be drop dead perfect, but if they smell "wrong" to me, nothing is going to happen.

I've met 4 men who smelled right, I buried two who passed away thus ending our time together, I walked away from one due to long standing issues that had nothing to do with our compatability, the other is my best male friend.

Walks off looking for old tshirt to snuggle......wondering if number 5 is out there on a Harley somewhere........

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 7:41:09 AM

stoni23

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I'll play and be sexual with just about anybody, I can be attracted to anybody. Regardless of age, gender, weight, height, appearance.

As far as a relationship goes though I'm a bit more vain. I consider myself to be mildly attractive, nothing special just average looking. And I feel I should be with someone similar to me: thin, in good shape, average appearance. I consider every relationship I'm in to be a potential life long relationship, so I get a little more picky with my partners.

But for casual play, I could care less; if the kinks match up, and they have half a brain, I'm good to go.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 7:55:00 AM

LillyBoPeep

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i guess i sometimes wonder if i'm more influenced by "primitive" drives or "traditional ideas" than i want to think i am. =p i get what you're saying about protectiveness, Des. some of that is because i have a mostly rural upbringing, i think, and i'm pretty outdoorsy myself, so i look for people who would be a good fit.
but sometimes i wonder if i'm really being as objective as i think i am, or if i'm just attracted to the biggest lion in the pride, or something like that.

i dunno, just some musing. =p
i'm 5' tall, so i haven't really met a man smaller than me. a guy who's 5'6 is still taller than me. and i don't factor height into what i'm looking for in a partner, at least i don't think i do. =p but, so far, i've only ended up in relationships with tall guys, and mostly at their instigation, because i'm usually too shy to approach someone. i agree, Des, it is pretty cool when they can fix stuff; i like handiness and a DIY attitude, too, but for me, that's mostly because i'm impressed by the knowledge and ability and i want to learn it, too. hahaha =p

i'm just wondering how much influence what seems like a primitive drive really has on me. i don't believe it's necessary to separate myself from it, i just like to think about this sort of stuff.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 7:59:04 AM

0ldhen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i'm just wondering how much influence what seems like a primitive drive really has on me.

I know I operate on that level when looking at potential partners...hence the smell thing being so important to me

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:05:10 AM

LillyBoPeep

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smell, i can totally relate to. i like when a guy smells great, even after he's been sweating all day. it's chemical, and how your brain responds to it. fascinating stuff. =p
i like the smell of people, too, but i just figured that was quirkiness. haha

i guess i just wonder sometimes if i'm more influenced by some traditional idea about gender than i think i am. i don't believe that dominance has anything to do with gender, i'm a mostly heterosexual female who's mostly attracted to males, and a submissive attracted to dominance. but i do tend to like guys who exhibit a lot of "typically masculine" traits.
does it matter, at the end of the day? nah; everyone has their own preferences.
but i still like to think about it because the various motivations fascinate me. =p

i'm not talking about any particular set of attractive traits. i don't care about six pack abs any more than i care about paunches. =p there is a really wide variety of physical traits, hair colors, eye colors, body sizes, etc, that i find attractive. i think it comes from drawing tons of nudes in art classes. haha =p
but i'm just specifically talking about subconsious things we pick up from physical traits; do hip-to-waist ratios really have that much of an effect on people? does height mean more than i want to believe it does? i dunno! hahaha ^_^

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:11:52 AM

HannahLynHeather

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doesn't make one fucking bit of difference to me. my type is "smart".

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:17:00 AM

Aynne88

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I'm tall. I don't dig tall men though. I like them about 5'8" to 5'10", swarthy, ethnic looking, dark hair dark eyes, muscular, think "gangster movies" and you nailed my type to a T. Which is awesome because the higher my heels, it seems that men of that stature like being with a tall leggy chick. If I could travel back to the 80's, I would become Al Pacino's official stalker.

.

I never was attracted at all to those tall drinks of water. Not my thing.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:18:44 AM

LaTigresse

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Physical matters a great deal to me.

There are many side effects of poor health that turn me off as well as poor hygiene. Also, some aspects of personal hygiene gone into hyper drive, like too much artificial scent used.

A lot of body modification and the mental/emotional baggage that tends to go with it, not my cuppa.

Women that are extremely 'done' and "Don't touch because you will mess up my....hair/makeup/clothes/etc..." Just NO, not for me.

Just a few things that popped immediately into my head.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/16/2011 8:20:23 AM >

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:37:25 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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I've been thinking about this question a great deal, since a good friend of mine called to tell me her master told her he loves her but he isn't physically attracted to her. I didn't know what to say. They, otherwise, appear on the surface to have this great relationship - they cuddle, are affectionate, and she's happy with him (but she's missing sex.) I asked myself, would I be content with someone who wasn't physically attracted to me, but loved everything else about me? Would I be content with someone that I wasn't physically attracted to, but adored everything else about them? I don't think I could be happy with someone, if I knew that they were turned off by me physically. I mean, I want to be MORE than just a body to fuck, but I don't want to be less than a whole package.

In my younger days, I had a 'type' that I was attracted to. Over the years, that type shifted from the physical to a less defined - more compatibility centered attraction. I've been madly in love with a guy that when I first met him, I thought he was kind of unattractive looking, but once I really got to know him, he became beautiful to me.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:41:04 AM

LillyBoPeep

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i agree, i'm much more interested in mental compatibility for the long-term. if that's not there, then nothing else really matters.
i'm just talking about the initial attraction or lack of it, i guess; what's going on in the brain that makes you lean one way or the other?

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:41:32 AM

MissImmortalPain

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This sort of topic always makes me giggles from the get go. I "love" smart people <this is an honest statement about myself. Now ask me if I want to mate with half the smart people I know. The answer might shock some people. Of course the physical matters. I would be willing to put money on it that the only people not affected by the physical are blind. And I bet that changes when they get to actually touch the person they are speaking to. I don't want to seem shallow but oh well on this I guess maybe I am. I get turned on by musicians. Rock musicians if you have to know. I have it down infact to such an art form that if you stand you whole band up infront of me without telling what they do in the band I can more than likely pick out the drummer for you. Then the guy that plays bass. I can always tag the bands frontman. Does that mean that after I get to know them I won't say pick the bands pr guy...no it doesn't. It means I admit that I am human and I know what I am attracted to. And I find it very funny that a lot other folks won't admit the same thing.

*side note for no particular reason* bopeep everytime I see your pick I think "damn shes hot" and I don't even like girls..cheers.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:49:28 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i agree, i'm much more interested in mental compatibility for the long-term. if that's not there, then nothing else really matters.
i'm just talking about the initial attraction or lack of it, i guess; what's going on in the brain that makes you lean one way or the other?

I was going to touch on that, by saying that I think part of my 'type' when I was younger was maybe a subconscious desire for a viable mate. You know, someone virile and able to provide and protect. Now that I've had my children and they are almost grown, my subconscious is seeking out a compatible companion rather than someone to perpetuate the gene pool....but, I haven't even had coffee yet, and that seemed way to into the deep end of the topic to plunge...so I just deleted that part of my post.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:57:23 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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I don't think it is shallow to have a type one is physically attracted to - unless, of course, there IS a shallowness to it. Let's face it, some people ARE shallow, when it comes to their approach toward physical attractiveness. So what. Not everyone needs to swim in the deep end, and if some require floatation devices (like big boobs) to keep their head above water - good for them.

Besides, not all sexual encounters have to be about compatibility. I mean - I'd absolutely fuck the hell out of that blonde vampire viking god in True Blood - given the chance. I don't care one wit if he had a brain in that head of his or not. I'd lick that sexy piece of ass from temple to toe and back again.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 8/16/2011 8:59:29 AM >

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 8:59:08 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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Scientists are still trying to figure out the chemistry of physical attraction, but clearly pheromones are a large factor.

Like all mammals, humans are subject to having their behavior or physiology altered by instinctive reactions to a potential mate.

Which is why if you don't like how someone smells, it's a deal breaker.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 9:05:34 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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I prefer tall men (5'11"+) and petite women (5'4"-), though I've been attracted to people of almost every height. Physically, it's all about the eyes - preferably blue/green but any color is fine if they're stunning - and hair (dark, preferably long). I'm hyper-sensitive to smell, so scent is important too. I knew my husband was the right guy because he smelled like "home".

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 9:06:41 AM

HeatherMcLeather

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I was going to say it doesn't matter to me either and then I looked around me. I didn't really think much about it before, but now that I do, I realize that looks matter a lot to me. I'm a little disappointed in my self, I've always considered people who care about looks to be shallow. I guess I'm shallow too. I guess I'm going to have to learn to live with that.

I seem to have a thing for blondes. Pretty blondes. And I like them taller than me, which is a darn good thing, because I'm just a touch over 5' tall. It's really hard to find somebody who is shorter than me and of age.

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RE: how much does the physical matter? - 8/16/2011 9:18:49 AM

MissToYouRedux

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

doesn't make one fucking bit of difference to me. my type is "smart".

Mine is smart and/or creative, plus "exotic", for want of a better term. I want submissives who bring different frames of reference into my life.

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