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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 1:41:01 PM   
flcouple2009


Posts: 2784
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline 		Really you need to relax a bit.

I think your just missing the point.  Saying OK, I'll board the horses but now you don't go off on anymore fishing trips is not compromise.

Sit down together, talk about the expectations and the things that both of you want in a relationship;  Once everyone understands that then you can both decide how to make it work.

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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 1:41:36 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

hannah hannah hannah hannah hannah

for fuck's sake heather's the cute nice one, i'm the rangy fucking bitch. get it fucking straight!!


I got news for ya. You're fucking cute as hell too.

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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 1:43:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		personally I don't think you're wrong for feeling the way you do.

When Master goes out of town for two weeks or more it just about kills me..yeah I have hobbies, work, my daughter to hang out with but I'm still left with an empty feeling, missing him, wishing we could be having fun together as a couple. I don't even get to talk to him as much when he's gone because he's busy and or there's not always cell or net service where he's at. We barely get to spend enough time together as it is due to life commitments so when he goes away for long periods of time I have to do everything I can to not get in a fit of depression. It doesn't always work. Sometimes I tell him how I'm feeling, other times I don't because I don't want to ruin his vacation because there's really nothing at all he can do about it. What can you do? I dunno. Like I said I just try to stay busy and sleep as much as I can when he's away so I don't have to think about it. Good luck.


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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 1:46:19 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		I should have said, this was in response to LaT's post.  I am feeling more confident we will reach some kind of happy medium.  He probably wants that as much as I do.  Of course I can't ask him, because he is off on some goddamn fishing trip (that was a joke).

Thanks for everybody's patience on this thread.  I really do think I was suffering from some kind of letdown from an endorphin high, and was not quite myself.  Sigh.  My life is starting to remind me of that Ella Fitzgerald song, I Got it Bad (and That's Not Good).



quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

The idea of x for y.  Horse boarding for fishing trip.  If it can be construed as passive aggressive, it won't work.


< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 8/29/2011 1:49:25 PM >

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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 1:56:27 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Since your relationship is fairly new, you are in the honeymoon phase, wanting to spend all your time together. At the same time, you keep saying 5 weeks, 5 weeks, I can't be without him for 5 weeks. It isn't 5 weeks all together, but two trips.

Mentally, you need to recognize that. When we fall in love, we want to spend time with that person, but we also need to be realistic. As some others have said, if and when you get to the point that you are living together, those two trips might be a welcome thing. Also, as others said, as long as these trips don't use all his vacation time so that the two of you can't get away then it shouldn't be a big deal.

You have been invited on at least one of these trips, and it is YOUR issues that keep you from going. Whether it is boarding horses or work, if you really wanted to go, you would find a way to work it out. So maybe it is more than simply your (very understandable) fear of repeating what happened in your marriage. Maybe you aren't ready to give in to the relationship totally yet since you have things you aren't willing to do to go with him.

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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 2:34:13 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
I don't think it is just that Heather. I think it was because I got hit by this train already, when i was married.


This is the root of your problem. You may or may not be as clingy as everyone here has called you but by your own admission you have some serious baggage left over from hubby #1 and that is the problem.


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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 2:40:30 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		I'm actually not entirely opposed to this idea. Traveling is a very personal thing for me, and while I don't mind sharing it sometimes losing the ability to travel on my own would be quite regrettable. Even dismissing that, time apart can do a strong relationship good and with the way I travel (IE in the most half-assed error prone manner conceivable) I think most people would go nuts trying to follow me.

If nothing else, half the fun of traveling is fucking random people you never ever have to see again; how are you going to do that if you're sharing a room with your significant other?


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RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 3:57:16 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: flcouple2009
Sit down together, talk about the expectations and the things that both of you want in a relationship;  Once everyone understands that then you can both decide how to make it work.


Or if it is just not going to work. Always the optimist, I am.

Yours is the best advice in the whole thread, so far.




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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Separate vacations - 8/29/2011 4:29:08 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		get a grip, you have the other 47 weeks with him.
I go skiing every year with my mates, we have been doing it for over 20 years and my other half would never try and get in the way of that because she knows how much it means to me. She went to Turkey for 2 weeks with 2 of her oldest friends last year and I was chuffed to pieces for her, they had a great time.
Ok five weeks is a long time but if your relationship is good it will be fine.
I don't know if this is part of the D/s M/s bullshit but in the real world people make compromises,every now and again you have to give a little for the greater good.



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