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strongbottom88 -> RE: A very Awkward question... (9/13/2011 5:20:13 PM)
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First, let me make it clear - I wouldn't, not for a second, make the assumption that a guy who enjoyed being fucked with a strap-on must be gay, or even that he might have some gay tendencies (See my conversation with Heather after the post you've replied to).
I think the association comes from a number of things...
In our, still unevolved, culture there is still a presumption that "penetration" is a man's thing. Now trust me, I've signed up to the 21st century, and I think this presumption is silly. Down with the patriarchy, say I! If you accept that this presumption (no matter how silly it is) still exists then there's an association that could be drawn (not "a definite association" not a "rational association", just one that could be drawn) with being penetrated in the ass by a dildo and being penetrated in the ass by a big ole cock.
This thesis is supported by the fact that many dildos are designed to look exactly like cocks. Although, as we've learned from the wonderful Heather and LadyHib, the real dildo connoisseurs eschew the cock facsimile for something much more fit for purpose ("Lavendar" is a wonderful colour).
I think for some men, the connection between penetration with a dildo and a man's cock is part of the enjoyment - they (being victims of an outmoded patriarchal view of society) - find the association humiliating and erotic. I don't think these men are either gay or bi either - it's the humiliation they (wrongly in my view) perceive that's the turn-on.
So I made this (utterly unsubstantiated) claim...
quote:
I don't think the association is valid or rational, but I'd bet if you asked a bunch of regular dudes whether taking it up the ass with a strap-on was a little bit gay a majority would say yes.
Heather took up the challenge and conducted some research that seems to indicate that my wild stab wasn't too far off.
To be clear - I don't think that enjoying being penetrated with a cock-shaped object makes a man remotely gay. but I can see how some might make an association (and I'd feel bound to point out to them that it's silly but...).
As it happens, I don't think that enjoying being feminised necessarily a dude gay or bi, and I really do believe that there are cases where men that enjoy forced bi aren't the least bit bi - I think for some men the humiliation is the driver not the idea of chowing on a fellow's cock.
And (and I'd hope that the people who know me on the board would know this goes without saying)... who gives a shit anyway, if you're gay, bi or straight, it so doesn't matter to me. A person's gender, sexual orientation, or preference for dominance or submission has no bearing whatsoever their value as a person.
Although, in my experience, if you want your house redecorated, you get your gay male friends to choose the colour scheme, but leave it to your lesbian friends to do the actual painting. Never the other way around.
Ok. I misunderstood your previous quote to suggest that in your opinion there was some inherent association between a man being penetrated anally in some form by a woman and being gay. If all you are suggesting is that it is likely that broader cultural understanding outside of the bdsm community is that there is an association I would probably agree. And with Heather and Co.'s ever expanding research on the subject the evidence seems overwhelming. I hope they approved this study with their school's human subjects committee. Otherwise, the results may not be publishable.
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