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ElanSubdued -> RE: A very Awkward question... (9/19/2011 12:41:44 PM)
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IrishMist,
Well, I'm rather late to the party so answering the OP directly may be a tad redundant now. For those interested however, here are my answers.
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It's my understanding that many Dominant woman 'play' with their subs/slaves? Correct?
Yes.
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It is also my understanding that this play sometimes involves the use of dildo's or butt plugs? Correct?
Yes, also correct... for those who enjoy sharing this kind of play.
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Well, for a man who is submissve, but totally and completely straight, how does this integrate into your life with your partner/play partner, etc?
It integrates easily. My partner likes fucking me and enjoys the emotions and sensations we share. I like being fucked by my partner and equally enjoy the shared emotions and sensations. It's just two people communicating affection - the same as kissing and the same as when penetration is reversed. Sometimes there may be strong D/s dynamics involved and other times, while D/s dynamics may be present, a stronger component is the sense of creating a cocoon within which to nurture one another. It works the same regardless of who is being penetrated, though certain aspects in mindset of the person doing versus receiving may be very different. The net result is we do what we like because we like it.
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I guess what I am asking, to be blunt, is "how do you handle being sexually used in that way, IF you are straight"?
How do I handle this? I make eye contact with my partner, as positioning allows. When she grabs my hips and pulls me toward her, the energy at this point is sometimes better than the penetration itself. During penetration, I moan a lot, make animal sounds, and sometimes gasp for breath. Sometimes I push back against my partner (which she likes when in the mood for this) and other times she'll have none of that and things will proceed with her "driving at all times". My partner may verbalize in coaxing and commanding ways ("good boy", "open up for me slut", "you can take more, bitch", and so forth). We both have lots of orgasms.
In terms of psychology, I'm sure it's considerably more complex than I'm about to allude, but, really, at a certain point in the "dance", the dynamics of affection and D/s take over and there's nothing in my mind other than listening to my partner, enticing my partner's lust and enjoyment, and mutually enjoying one another. The furthest thing from my mind is how others might label the activities we chose to enjoy.
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And I know that many of the answers are going to be "because my Mistress wishes me to do do these things" but...
There are times when "because it's what my Dominant wants" is entirely the motivator. But, there are other times when I crave the closeness of being ensconced, taken, and possessed by my partner, and I'll flirt to entice her desire for me this way.
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I am truly interested in how the men ACTUALLY feel about this part of their life, the feelings that accompany them, and how they handle them.
Hopefully my answer (above) is of help to you. :-)
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