RE: Watchout for the term "Single"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Watchout for the term "Single"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Watchout for the term "Single"

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 2:21:36 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carouselambra

You tell me that I'm better, You just hate yourself.

Errrrrmmmm...huh?????

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Carouselambra)

Profile

Post #: 101

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 2:25:23 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Personally, I think your OP does contain a really important warning - Often, in the rush of chemistry that kicks off when we find someone who seems compatible we forget to do things that would otherwise seem to be utterly common sense.

For those of us who've been schlepping around BDSM for ages it might seem completely obvious, but for newcomers it's one of those things that is worth being reminded of.

This was disappointing though...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carouselambra

You tell me that I'm better, You just hate yourself.

Unless I'm reading this wrongly, and if I am then I'm sorry, but it does seem as if you're descending to the same tactics as the people you criticise, which is a shame, especially when its in response to a posting that was really very supportive.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Carouselambra)

Profile

Post #: 102

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 2:31:47 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

This was disappointing though...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carouselambra

You tell me that I'm better, You just hate yourself.

Unless I'm reading this wrongly, and if I am then I'm sorry, but it does seem as if you're descending to the same tactics as the people you criticise, which is a shame, especially when its in response to a posting that was really very supportive.

I just assumed it was a drive-by crazy. I'm too busy loving myself to be anything other than vaguely amused

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to crazyml)

Profile

Post #: 103

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 2:46:19 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Grin!

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 104

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 2:51:33 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Heck, some stretch the truth even further by claiming they are dominant.

yeah, and on top of that they can even post pictures, showing them to be perfectly healthy (confident sitting there with one foot on their lap) despite that they are wheelchair bound due to spina bifida since birth

...or stated their figure in lbs when in reality they should have chosen kg, to reflect on their real weight

People do lie and deceive, gosh, who would have thought that

Anyhow, good luck OP

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 9/16/2011 2:57:02 AM >

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to poise)

Profile

Post #: 105

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 3:12:34 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

FR

I haven't been around much and maybe my CM hazmat suit is a but rusty (or whatever the hell happens to hazmat suits) however I can't actually understand the level of snarkiness in response to the OP. Well actually I can but it reminds me why I am glad that a) I am not new to the forums and b) why so much of threads these days is just skimmed by me.

As someone else said, I took it as a "ah bollocks, I screwed up" kind of posting rather than a OMG all you innocent peoples of CM, people is liars!!!!!!!!

I totally confess that I was dating someone for four months last year who said he was separated only to find out later that his version of separated was sharing the same home AND sharing the bed. This was someone whom I had visited at work, had his home phone number and could call whenever I wanted and had been to his home (I obviously need to learn to open cupboards and drawers to find the hidden photos)

I have an even more mortifying admission but will leave that one to the I admit thread

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Profile

Post #: 106

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 3:15:24 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

FR

I haven't been around much and maybe my CM hazmat suit is a but rusty (or whatever the hell happens to hazmat suits) however I can't actually understand the level of snarkiness in response to the OP. Well actually I can but it reminds me why I am glad that a) I am not new to the forums and b) why so much of threads these days is just skimmed by me.

As someone else said, I took it as a "ah bollocks, I screwed up" kind of posting rather than a OMG all you innocent peoples of CM, people is liars!!!!!!!!

I totally confess that I was dating someone for four months last year who said he was separated only to find out later that his version of separated was sharing the same home AND sharing the bed. This was someone whom I had visited at work, had his home phone number and could call whenever I wanted and had been to his home (I obviously need to learn to open cupboards and drawers to find the hidden photos)

I have an even more mortifying admission but will leave that one to the I admit thread

Geeze there you are!!! Thought you went and found a Studly man man ... You gotta dish the details

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Profile

Post #: 107

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 6:11:04 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Personally, I think your OP does contain a really important warning - Often, in the rush of chemistry that kicks off when we find someone who seems compatible we forget to do things that would otherwise seem to be utterly common sense.

For those of us who've been schlepping around BDSM for ages it might seem completely obvious, but for newcomers it's one of those things that is worth being reminded of.

This was disappointing though...

I don't know. This doesn't have anything to do with BDSM ino. It's something you learn in middle school, that people will lie to get what they want. A 20 year old I might accept just now acknowledging this truth, but from a woman old enough to collect social security? That's dangerously naive.

If she's that clueless about people, you wonder how she survived all these years.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to crazyml)

Profile

Post #: 108

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 6:27:21 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I'm all for the less try to be less snarky to newer posters idea. And I really am trying to do that.

However, I found the OP's post incredibly condescending and patronizing, and from others' comments, I am not the only one.

I acknowledge that it can be very difficult, even if you have great communicator skills, to adequately convey your INTENT on any given post. When your post is just text on a screen, all the non-verbal communicative cues we rely on in real time don't exist. And that makes it much easier to be misunderstood in this format.

But, I based some of my judgements about the OP's thread based on past posts. Again, I do not think I was the only one.

_____________________________

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 109

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 7:44:15 AM

JerseyKrissi72

Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline

I think honesty is the ONLY policy- if you are married and in an open-relationship that is understandable but damn, let's keep it real- it's only fair to everyone involved...and who knows, maybe your spouse would be more involved if you let him/ her know about your lifestyle, maybe not..who knows..

_____________________________

Our greatest glory is not in never falling-but in rising every time we fall ( Confucius )

(in reply to MistressEllen444)

Profile

Post #: 110

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 8:38:05 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
But don't let this stop you posting! Being on a public messageboard takes a bit of getting used to. In the beginning I would take every snarky comment as a personal insult. It's not - quite often people see stuff like this as 'pixels on a screen' rather than the person behind the post.

Some of the people who (I felt) gave me a tough time at the start I now count as friends. Others turned out to be simply assholes who I can ignore without any problem at all.

Stick around, see what goes on and get used to the way that people interact here. You can learn an awful lot from the forums!

I found this quote today.. course it was written well before message boards..

"Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults."
Benjamin Franklin

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 111

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 9:12:10 AM

gorgeoushair

Posts: 114
Joined: 4/30/2011
Status: offline

@ ChatteParfaitt (and wordly people) --

Thanks for considering being less snarky to newer poster ideas. Believe it or not, my post was intended to be helpful to those who are less worldly and experienced in finding partners on the Internet than you and others here, and/or who might need things said a few times or in a few different ways before they get it, and who visit or browse the Message Boards for hints, suggestions, ideas. (No, claiming to be single when one is not, is not peculair to BDSM, but such claims are not exclusive to vanilla sites, either.)

And, if I did not make it clear in my OP, in my view, people who lie in one area to get what they want are probably willing to lie in other areas to get what they want, too. So claiming to be single to lure people in may be more than just a little red flag. I know that this, too, is not news -- however, someone might read it and a lightbulb may finally go on. (Congratulations to all those wordly people here who know all about life and liars, have been critical about how I should have figured all that out much, much earlier. I guess I was late. I only learned when I was nine, when I was lured by what seemed like an innocent lie away from a group of people in order to be molested. Thanks, to those people here who obviously got my original intent in the OP. I appreciate it.)

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)

Profile

Post #: 112

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 9:47:01 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I just don't get it. At your age....I mean I can understand someone really young...but really? I mean have you been living in a cult or locked in a basement or something?

I'm really not trying to be snarky...I'm not. I'm just confused. You've never ever had people lie to you throughout your time on this planet? I have people lie on almost a daily basis...from "the check is in the mail" to "yes, our food is excellent" when it really just sucks and they know it.

Maybe I'm the naive one who doesn't understand how people go through life not knowing that people lie....everywhere....not just in real life but online and even in bdsm.

Can someone explain that to me? Like I said, maybe it's me.......<scratches head in confusion>.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to gorgeoushair)

Profile

Post #: 113

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 10:03:08 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related.

I think I'll just leave it at that...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 114

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 10:06:47 AM

CeriseNin

Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline

If the "light bulb" doesn't go on until they read this thread, they've got much bigger problems and need not concern themselves with dating.

By the time I was fifteen I knew that people lie for sex. People lie to get buyers. And people lie to get elected.

I dunno, I'm just stunned that you truly believe you needed to warn people. It's a reflection on your life experience, or lack of.

However, I admire your compassion for others.

(in reply to gorgeoushair)

Profile

Post #: 115

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 10:15:39 AM

CeriseNin

Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related.

I think I'll just leave it at that...

And nothing to do with being "worldly" either. I figured this crap out when I was just a teen, living a somewhat sheltered and religious life. I wasn't worldly, not by a long shot.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Profile

Post #: 116

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 10:33:57 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related.

I think I'll just leave it at that...

Well, since we can't get the personal ad moved off of the General Discussion board, the guy going to the bar who has an ad listed in Upcoming Events, and haven't seen the phone number removed from the post of the chick who wants to get gang banged, I'm betting this one is kind of on the low priority side.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Profile

Post #: 117

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 11:01:21 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

@ Lockit and everyone else, here, who believe that they are the arbitors of what should and should not be posted here and are making judgments -- rather your own projections -- on me and my life (something about which you have absolutely no knowledge). I guess in my "ignorance" I had no idea that you were in charge. I hope that everyone else here now realizes that they'd better check with and pass muster with you (all), first. Thanks for "educating" me.

I don't believe I ever said you couldn't post. I do believe I said how you were posting was why you were getting the responses you have gotten and if you didn't like it, then don't post like that. I don't care what you post. I was just sharing what your posts and posting history are coming off like and how I viewed it and from other posts, how others were viewing it. I gave my opinions on what you said. Don't come a teaching, when you haven't much to teach. This isn't the first thread you have started with nearly the same first sentences you started this one with. Believe it or not... As if no one else knew. How many have you enlightened here, with either thread? That ought to tell you something. How you word things ought to tell you something.

We all get a bit of flack at some point around here. Mine was fifteen pages of a frigging war! I learned from it. Not learning what not to post or how I should post to stay out of a flame war... but how to prevent cyber stalkers... what to do with computer issues concerning hackers... that I had been correct in knowing mine had gotten in through a problem in microsoft messenger that had been fixed... after I got my stalker. I got beat down badly, but I stayed and kept on doing my thing. I can still get some flack for things I say and do, but I do take responsibility for what I say and do and correct myself when I do believe I need to. Sometimes I can come off bitchy simply because I speak so directly. I am not sure I want to change that. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. It depends.

Had you come saying... I just got lied to by an attached man that said he was single, you may have gotten a far different response from me. I have been there. I might have shared a story of my own and I would have shown compassion. Then again, considering your posting history, I may have said... you are jumping into things you know little about and are setting the stage for the predators to jump right on you. Your own take on the lifestyle in some ways is something I see as iffy and my view of things will influence my comments.

We don't all agree here thankfully. That is what makes for a lot of great things. However, if the same things keep coming up, we can look at it and decide if there is any truth to it and if it matters to us personally. If it doesn't... who cares? Do your thing... be happy... When people don't care for me, I look at it and wonder if I did something to promote that and if it is important to me. If not... fuck it. I don't see it as they are trying to tell me how to post or to run me off. They couldn't if I wanted to be here.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 9/16/2011 11:02:53 AM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to gorgeoushair)

Profile

Post #: 118

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 11:08:28 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related.

I think I'll just leave it at that...

Well, since we can't get the personal ad moved off of the General Discussion board, the guy going to the bar who has an ad listed in Upcoming Events, and haven't seen the phone number removed from the post of the chick who wants to get gang banged, I'm betting this one is kind of on the low priority side.

Well, HELL! Where have I been? I always miss all the good stuff! *pouts*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 119

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 11:11:53 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

iof course you do, Chrissy..ya missed ME dintcha??? LOL

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Profile

Post #: 120