Watchout for the term "Single"

Watchout for the term "Single" (Full Version)

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gorgeoushair -> Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 6:45:55 PM)
Just a quick heads up. When someone says they are "single," guess what? It does not necessarily mean that they are not married. Believe it or not, some people hide their married status by claiming to be "single" in their profile, in order to attract others. However, they are only separated from their spouce (to whom they continue to be married, for years). Have had some first hand experience with that situation. Now, i specifically ask up front if they are married. It may not mean anything to you, which is just fine... Just sayin', for those of you to whom it matters ... [8\|]

DarkSteven -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 6:47:55 PM)
You are saying that men (and sometimes women) lie. Not news.

poise -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 6:51:54 PM)
Heck, some stretch the truth even further by claiming they are dominant. [:-] Im sorry for your experiences, gorgeoushair, and hope things improve for you soon.

Kalista07 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 6:56:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise Heck, some stretch the truth even further by claiming they are dominant. [:-] Dang it poise!!!! I was going to say the same thing.... FMD, I have even married "some" of those same men..... Kali

LadyPact -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 6:58:07 PM)
[sm=banghead.gif][sm=banghead.gif][sm=banghead.gif][sm=banghead.gif][sm=banghead.gif] In other news, not all people who say they are female really are that gender, don't count on the age listed on a profile to really be how old that person really is, and don't believe some of the people who say they have as much BDSM experience as they try to tell you that they do.

oneluckysub -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:03:28 PM)
Even those that say they are divorced, turn out to be ... surprise ... still married.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:06:18 PM)
It also happens in the real world not just on the 'net. Lies happen, it's never nice when you discover you've been deceived, I hope you won't feel too jaded or distrusting of future possibilities because of it.

Kalista07 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:10:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact In other news, not all people who say they are female really are that gender, don't count on the age listed on a profile to really be how old that person really is, and don't believe some of the people who say they have as much BDSM experience as they try to tell you that they do. LP, I'm not sure how much more you anticipate I can take.....I mean just dash all my hopes tonight why don't ya? [:D] Kali

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:21:51 PM)
Well fuck, I mean dang me. Next you will be saying not everything on a CM profile is real and true. Don't blow my bubble, I live for my fantasies. Just saying. . .

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:22:09 PM)
I understand how upsetting it is to be lied to. I know it sucks. It is true that sometimes people never get divorced, but live separate lives for years. I'm one of those. I've been separated from my husband for 14 years. I left him and never looked back. I never really considered it a lie to say I was single, because I raised my children alone, have never once desired to remarry, have never once had a desire to reunite with my husband. In my case, my children and I were basically in hiding from my ex-husband - he became very abusive and psychotic because of a drug addiction. Years later when the fear of his finding us was no longer an issue, I was told I had to pay for him to have legal counsel in order to divorce him, because he was living homeless and unable to be found. I decided I wasn't going to pay a lawyer to screw me over. Then, he was in prison and then rehab and sending someone divorce papers under those circumstances just seemed cruel. Now, 14 years later, it is a non issue for me. All those reasons are valid, and true but honestly - I couldn't bring myself to initiate the divorce. There's still a part of me that believes I swore before him, my god and my family to be his until death do us part. Stupid as that is, under these circumstances, it remains a very compelling thing for me. If HE sent me the divorce papers, I'd sign them in an instant without batting an eye. I'm weird. I know that. Still, I know that when I say I'm single others will believe this is a lie. I can't blame them.

LadyPact -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:26:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 LP, I'm not sure how much more you anticipate I can take.....I mean just dash all my hopes tonight why don't ya? [:D] Kali It will be ok, Kali. C'mere. I promise you that I really am a chick, I really am 42 (for another couple of weeks), and I really do know how to swing a flogger.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:28:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair ...people hide their married status by claiming to be "single" in their profile, in order to attract others. However, they are only separated from their spouse (to whom they continue to be married, for years). So what?!! If they're "separated" (i.e., not living together, dating others, etc.), but choose to remain "married" (on paper, and in the eyes of the state), then it only matters if one of them is considering marrying another. I know more than a few "separated" couples that remain "married" (on paper), but have lived apart for a decade -- they've mostly done it because of the children involved. Personally, I don't think it's too smart from a legal standpoint, but from a dating/relationship standpoint, it has zero effect -- again, unless one is thinking of marrying another.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:35:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA Personally, I don't think it's too smart from a legal standpoint, but from a dating/relationship standpoint, it has zero effect -- again, unless one is thinking of marrying another. I agree, from a legal-standpoint it is extremely problematic. Not just financially, but in ways you can't really foresee. Especially when your ex tries to commit suicide, fails, ends up in a coma and even though you haven't hardly even talked to him in over a decade, you are still the person legally responsible for deciding if he should be taken off the ventilator. For those wondering, NO -I didn't pull the plug. He eventually came out of the coma. I had mixed feelings about that, honestly.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:37:18 PM)
Once again the OP is attempting to save us from ourselves. B/c you know, we are not intelligent enough to know anyone can say any thing they damn well please on their profile. Well....um...thank you OP for underestimating my IQ by a good 60 points. No problem, I will not take it as a slight. I'm good. People lie, and not just on CM. As House says: "everybody lies." Weeding out the white lie from the real lie is just a small part of being an adult human in this world. Anyone who can not make conscious choices in terms of what they need for honesty in their intimate companions needs to check themselves. Check twice, if you please, I fear you are lying to yourself.

fallon0627 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:42:08 PM)
Off topic I love House.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:44:43 PM)
Man, I feel dense. I just thought she was down because she felt betrayed. I know that for some who believe it is adultery to be with someone who is still married, could feel lied to and betrayed if they were with someone they later found had never ended the marriage.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:44:55 PM)
OMG me too...hunka hunka limey love with those blue eyes and that fuck all tude. Hell yeah. Love him for a TV show, as a relationship partner, dude would be toast on a stick. AFTER I stole all his blues albums. Just saying.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:50:18 PM)
Okay, I don't know what others do when getting to know someone. One of the first things I do is determine if they have a partner, significant other, or wife. Sorry, I just don't get all that involved until I have determined this. I give honesty in my relationships, and I demand it in return. BTW: Demand it means I don't trust what someone tells me. I trust their actions. The OP feels betrayed, I get that. Sorry, learn from that shit. She is 64 years old -- did I mention: learn from that shit????

xxblushesxx -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:53:52 PM)
LP, the age thing may not be the person's fault. Take me for instance; I put an age similar to my own in when I joined, but then, on CM, it never changes! Whose fault is that? Am I to be expected to update it every year (or whenever I happen to age?) I think not!

MistressEllen444 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/14/2011 7:55:14 PM)
OP, it is not just online. I met a guy once - initial coffee meeting. He walked in with a wedding band on, excused himself to the men's room, returned sans ring. I asked him if his wife knows that he is "single", before I walked out. It is a policy to never get involved with anyone online who cannot meet in person quickly and then no play until I can feel comfortable they are mostly honest...Online anyone can be a Prince.

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