RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped?

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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/17/2011 11:18:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig And you clearly have no idea what bisexual actually means. Not from personal experience, no. I only know what I think I know from a few dozen bisexual friends I have had over the years, more than two thirds of them women. My family tree has several who are gay, and only one, my nephew, who is bisexual. There is a lot I may never understand and I am okay with that. As I told my sub recently, about a different matter...I am very curious to know everything about him especially because I don't have a dick. [;)] quote: Of the approximately 25 married bi guys I have known personally, exactly 1 has left his wife for another man. Three have taken up with men long after they split from their wives and one had his supposedly straight wife leave him for another woman. Good, about the intact marriages. Maybe demographics has something to do with this issue as well...most of the male subs in WV who tried to hook up with me wanted to be "forced" into sex with other men. When we talked, it was less about getting to know me as a person and as a woman, and more about attaching me as their..."pimp"...as some of them put it. Yes, I know my perceptions are skewed because the only way I dated these past eight years was through CollarMe. quote: And none, absolutely none, of my bi male friends have done so, most are still happily bi or have ended up preferring women as they get older. Men really honestly are a pain in the ass...in more ways then one. I honestly don't know how you women put up with us. Good. It is hard to go on a man hunt and see that most of the guys are looking for other guys, or for women that can be an open sesame to all the dick they want. Weren't the successful bi couples into swinging of some sort? (Did the hubbies really marry and go without any sexual contact with other males?) Sorry for being nosy about this, but...I am curious. Also, I do know of someone (just one person though) who was gay in his younger years, then was bisexual, and now has settled in with just the one girlfriend, he is my nephew and has had HIV for a dozen years now and has AIDS. With all of his horrible habits (yep, he would use your toothbrush in a heartbeat, etc.), I honestly don't know why she would move in with him take care of him, but...she fell in love with him after he had been diagnosed with HIV and had been jailed for passing it on to someone else. (This was in Texas, not WV.) Honestly, I don't know how she puts up with him. Maybe their being together has helped him to grow into a nicer person than when I knew him. quote: quote: I freely admit to being unfair about certain things, and this is one of them. Thank you for your honesty. Arpig, I can also understand how your friendship with Heather and the girls would make you go all Knight in Shining Armor. (I find it terribly sweet, and it reminds me how my boy feels about me.)

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/17/2011 11:48:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig quote: I am still glad my sub is not bisexual and will not be hungering for something he cannot have...a poly relationship. And why would a bisexual man hunger for a poly relationship? What on earth makes you think that? A bisexual man is just as capable of being in a faithful monogamous relationship as a straight man. I was in two that lasted over 20 years combined. I never once cheated on my women with a man or a woman. I never hungered for a poly relationship, though I did fantasize about threesomes with two women a lot. It must be a full moon or something in the water tonight, there are so many people with completely whacked ideas posting tonight. It's like I'm in the twilight zone, do you people really honestly believe this bullshit? Arpig, part of the reason I come to these boards is to learn more about others. Sometimes reading what people have to say on these boards can help balance out some of the nasty I see in r/t, and in those moments I am grateful. You do have me confused about bisexuality now, and I would like to hear your definition. I am not equating bisexuality with cheating, and yes I respect that you were faithful and did not use being bisexual as an excuse to cheat. However, I have known of too many men who do, ones who have no problem with having wifey at home and a secret life on the side. As to why I seem to be mixing apples and oranges, I have also been heavily influenced by poly friends and their code of honor. Most are bisexual. Everything is aboveboard, and lust and love needs are met. Also, I was a child in California during the seventies, and I understood/accepted friends who were part of communes, and later in my life I spent some years as a member of a Mormon church...maybe the thought of poly families are just too familiar and acceptable to me, and that's why thinking of this as an honorable solution comes too easily to my mind. I cannot blame it on full moons, it's just ME. [;)] Oh, and my inner reptile brain is such a shark that I could never share what's mine...and my boy would freak if I coveted even a small harem... Shhh. [:D] Seriously, I would not want to have to deal with all the problems having more than one lover in my life would entail, so anything poly is out of the question...but I still highly respect others who can pull this off. About that fantasy, Arpig. Have you ever done that? Neener neener neener, I have but it was a long time ago. No, I never sucked boobies, but we were three in a bed and she and I shared the same oversexed man. He kept both of us up all night long. I used to live in California during the 80s, what more can I say?

Arpig -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 12:08:18 AM)
quote: Not from personal experience, no. Well, one would have thought that a dictionary would have sufficed, but here, let me explain it to you. Heterosexual: A person who only finds members of the opposite sex sexually attractive. Homosexual: A person who only finds members of the same sex sexually attractive. Bisexual: A person who finds members of either sex sexually attractive. There is that clear enough for you? There is nothing in there about being capable of loving, or needing a relationship, or having to have sex with anybody in particular. quote: Yes, I know my perceptions are skewed because the only way I dated these past eight years was through CollarMe. This is probably the reason for your misconceptions. quote: Weren't the successful bi couples into swinging of some sort? I know two of them were, the others, as far as I know weren't. quote: Did the hubbies really marry and go without any sexual contact with other males? Yes. I did. For 10 or so years of a common law relationship, and for 12 years of a marriage. I also went without any sexual contact with other women during that time. faithful is faithful. You seem to think that bisexual means I have to have sex with men. Again let me emphasize, a bisexual is somebody who is capable of being sexually attracted to members of either gender. I find hot women attractive, but I don't need to have sex with a woman to be content in my life. I find hot guys attractive, but I don't need to have sex with a man to be content with my life. I don't need sexual contact with anybody any more than you do, and I have just as much control over my sexual attractions as do you. Do you need to bang every hot guy you see? No, me either. quote: Arpig, I can also understand how your friendship with Heather and the girls would make you go all Knight in Shining Armor. (I find it terribly sweet, and it reminds me how my boy feels about me.) I'm glad you find the imagined Knight in Shining Armour sweet rather than annoying, but I am not doing anything of the sort. I'm not defending anybody, I am espousing a position, it happens to be the same one that Heather and Zephy were espousing. As I said to Zephy earlier in this thread, if you think I am rushing to the defense of one of the four girls just because I happen to agree with her, then there really is nothing I can do to change your perception other than never post an opinion that is in agreement with anything they post. But, I'm not going to censor myself just to satisfy a bunch of fucking idiots.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 12:23:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia I would reject a man as a partner if he were bisexual. If I were into poly and wanted to be the middle part of an oreo cookie, or if I got off on watching two men have sex with each other, that would be different. You rang? Sorry. Just a joke. [:D] I have had friends get all sparkley eyed over the thought (or memory) of watching two males... The most recent one was a Domme from CM about two weeks ago; she seemed to be having a roaring buzz just thinking about it. After seeing her eyes, I understand. It hasn't appealed to me, but I do get it, why it gives other women a roaring buzz... The words "just because" come to mind.

NumeroDos -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 12:35:24 AM)
Only if he got raped in prison. In which case, it would be the prison part, not the rape, that would put me off.

tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 12:55:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Are you fcking serious? So, if I go out tomorrow and happen to be a victim if a violent attack, I am less of a Dominant to you? What the fck is wrong with you? Take your supposed revulsion for the victim of violence and shove it up your sanctimonious ass. God, how I adore you Woman! too bad one of us isnt male. [;)]

gungadin09 -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 12:59:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist I found myself wondering how women--submissive women in particular--perceive men who are turned out in prison. i would be far more concerned about what got him sent to prison in the first place. Maybe there can be no definitive answer to this question, but I suspect it's at least safe to say that virtually no woman would ever be more attracted to a man for learning that he was, or had once been, another man's bitch. Virtually no woman, really? That's a pretty strong statement. Maybe you think most women are really shallow. i haven't read the whole thread yet, but i would like to second the notion that it's more about how a person copes with a difficult situation, and not the fact that they were in a difficult situation, that makes me think more or less of them. And it seems reasonable to assume that a woman who actively craves dominance in a man would, if anything, be more inclined than women in general to feel an instinctive revulsion for a man who had been forced into submission himself--and not just submission, but submission of the most degrading kind. i can't answer for what most women think, or what most submissive women think. i have no idea if most would think less of a man, or less a dominant man, for being raped. It's possible than some women would see him as being "damaged", but the idea that many submissive women would feel an "instinctual revulsion" and be unwilling to submit to a man who had been raped- is a little melodramatic, in my opinion. Nor do i consider being raped as an act of "submission", but rather a crime, perpetrated against someone without their consent. Is my intuition right? i don't know. Like i said, i don't speak for all submissive women. i personally, find the idea a little bit silly. When the men who've been the victim of this atrocity conceal their shame from you, are they right to do so? That depends on their motivations for concealing it. If they're afraid i will see them as less dominant, then no, they're not right to conceal it. Would *any part of you* think less of them if you knew? I do care what your rational, reasonable, moral mind has to say, but I'm more interested in the reptile beneath. My reptile hasn't been put to the test yet, as far as this question goes. i would like to believe, and i really am 99.9% sure, that i would not think less of them for that. pam

LadyPact -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:01:32 AM)
Cynthia, yes, My eyes tend to light up the same way. [:D] Also, I appreciate that you are trying to learn. I think a number of folks make the assumption that all folks who identify as bisexual need to have a partner of both genders at all times. Granted, some people do want that, but it isn't universal just because somebody identifies in that way. Very much the same as someone who identifies as switch. Not all switches feel the need to have both a Dominant and a submissive in their life at the same time. It really all comes down to the individual, how they feel about fidelity, and if they consider themselves poly. (For what it's worth, I think even poly-fuckery applies here.) Of course, Arpig said all this more eloquently than I did. I don't think I really added anything new. I was just really glad that you approached this the way you did with wanting to learn more. In other words, kudos!

tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:09:17 AM)
quote: As I have shown, despite you not wanting to admit it, if you would categorically dismiss a person on the basis of what they are sexually attracted to, then it is indeed a form of bigotry. On that basis, call me a bigot. quote: You could be totally attracted to a man and live your whole life in blissful happiness with him and then suddenly, after 30 years you would find him unattractive and unworthy of being with you simply because he admitted he'd like to bugger Johnny Depp? Sorry, that isn't based on the the way you are wired like one's sexual orientation or physical preferences, it is based on your prejudicial ideas of what is and isn't a "real man", so it is an entirely subjective measure over which you do indeed have control. Complete control, actually. Yes, I could, simply based upon his desire to do just that. Preferences are just that... preferences. Could be eye color. Could be body type. Could be sexual orientation. I dont like men with blue eyes. Can a man help thathe has blue eyes? Nope. No more than he could help he was bisexual. Doesnt change my preference for wanting a man who isnt. And before you starts creaming im homophobic.... ive tasted more than one clit in my lifetime. I still am entitled to my preferences as you are.

Arpig -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:33:06 AM)
quote: Can a man help thathe has blue eyes? Nope. Ummm, well..you see....actually while he can't help that he was born with blue eyes, he can indeed do something about it... Permanently... http://www.brightocular.com/ Temporarily... http://www.eyesbright.com/ http://www.colouredcontacts.com.au/ And even...magically... http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/spells/spell-to-change-eye-color.htm As per usual, you don't have a clue what you are talking about. quote: And before you starts creaming im homophobic.... ive tasted more than one clit in my lifetime. I'm not going to scream it, I'm going to say it very calmly and quietly. The fact that you think having licked a few pussies means that your rejection of bisexual men is not homophobic simply demonstrates your inability to reason or think rationally. The one has nothing to do with the other. While you don't mind female homosexuality, and indulge in it yourself, you do object to a male being open to male homosexuality. He doesn't even have to do it, he just has to be open to it for you to reject him. I'm sorry, but yours is the most unreasonable, indefensible, and bigoted homophobic statement yet. Not to mention utterly hypocritical to boot.

tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:37:30 AM)
Oh come on! No one is going to change their eye color.. nor would I expect them too. Please, keep it within the realm of reality... just a bit. Im goi9ng to clarify this because I can just feel Arpig wanting to snap. I would not expect anyone to go through an expensive eye procedure to please one of my many preferences. Thats just dumb. Second, I always ask the basics, height, weight, hair color.. ect ect. Contact lenses would be a lie that would be quickly found out. Again, just plain dumb. Everyone is entitled to their preferences, regardless of what they are. Not coming down on anyone being bisexual. Just saying that would be an immediate turn off for me.

tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:39:12 AM)
quote: I'm not going to scream it, I'm going to say it very calmly and quietly. The fact that you think having licked a few pussies means that your rejection of bisexual men is not homophobic simply demonstrates your inability to reason or think rationally. The one has nothing to do with the other. While you don't mind female homosexuality, and indulge in it yourself, you do object to a male being open to male homosexuality. He doesn't even have to do it, he just has to be open to it for you to reject him. I'm sorry, but yours is the most unreasonable, indefensible, and bigoted homophobic statement yet. Not to mention utterly hypocritical to boot. I do object. I have my reasons. I do not need to explain them to you or anyone else. Im no more attracted to a bisexual male than I would be a man into animals. Preferences and all that. But, I guess because Im not into one of your preferences, it isnt "ok".

Arpig -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:58:30 AM)
quote: But, I guess because Im not into one of your preferences, it isnt "ok". No, it's perfectly OK, it's just homophobic bigotry. Shut up and deal with it. [image]local://upfiles/218457/DA1A3C07372E457FAC5028150386D841.jpg[/image]

tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 2:00:35 AM)
LOL So now you judge too. White Knight n all that. Ive already agreed to the bigot stamp if that is your definition. Doesnt bother me one bit at all. Hell doesnt bother the dozen or so gay males I know that wouldnt touch a bisexual man either. But, thats just how it goes.

gungadin09 -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 2:05:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I would reject a man as a partner if he were bi. I'd also reject him if he had a history of submission. The heart wants what it wants. And that not infrequently extends to such things as past experiences, desires, weight, height, hair length and color. Or is someone who doesn't find a partner with short hair attractive also bigoted? Where do you draw the line between personal preference and bigotry? As far as sexual relationships go, i don't think the term "bigotry" applies. You are allowed to be attracted to someone, or NOT to be attracted to them, for any reason. It doesn't have to be a rational reason, and you're not obliged to give everyone an equal shot. If you prefer rich people, poor people, fat people, skinny people, smart people, dumb people, attractive people, ugly people, outgoing people, shy people, athletic people, nerdy people, conservatives, liberals, and yes, people of a particular race or sexual orientation, or whatever kind of people...you are entitled. As long as we are talking about a SEXUAL PREFERENCE, you are entitled. The line between personal preference and bigotry is crossed at the moment we are no longer talking about a sexual preference, but rather a preference about who you would like to work with, or live next door to, or stand in line next to, etc. That's bigotry. Sexual preferences don't count as bigotry unless those preferences extend beyond sexual attraction and into other areas of life (as they often do), affecting whether you see someone as desirable or undesirable when it isn't a question of sexual attraction. But that's another story. i think it's silly to put people on trial (so to speak) for who they like, or do not like, to fuck. To me, this seems like those "would you submit to a fat Dominant" threads, and i'm going to give the same answer. i think it's silly to equate dominance with not being fat, or not having been raped. But other people are entitled to do it. pam

Arpig -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 2:13:28 AM)
quote: So now you judge too. No judgment, just fact. quote: White Knight n all that. Go fuck yourself. quote: Ive already agreed to the bigot stamp if that is your definition. Doesnt bother me one bit at all. Then what are you whining about? quote: Hell doesnt bother the dozen or so gay males I know that wouldnt touch a bisexual man either. They are bigoted heterophobes. quote: But, thats just how it goes. Yup, as per usual, you are wrong and I am right, that's just how it goes.

Arpig -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 2:15:28 AM)
quote: Sexual preferences don't count as bigotry No, sorry Pam, you're wrong in this case.

tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 2:17:12 AM)
LOL The more you argue for her.. the funnier it becomes.

Arpig -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 2:25:55 AM)
I'm not arguing for her, I am arguing for myself you ignorant cunt.

tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 2:26:42 AM)
quote: Noun 1. homophobe - a person who hates or fears homosexual people Nope... cant say I hate any, nor do I fear any. quote: bigot - a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own That definition applies more to you in this thread than anyone else.

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