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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 5:17:07 AM

Madame4a

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For me... if I'm playing with a bio male -- I enjoy it when he's many feet taller than I am and physically much more dominating...

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Post #: 21

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 5:44:07 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

For me power exchange is more potent when the transition in power is greater, so - I get a far greater rush from dominating an assertive, (sheesh - I could also say "dominant") woman because her transition into submission is greater than it would be if she were innately submissive.

So the delta isn't necessarily between her and I, it's between non-sub her and sub-her.

Crazyml,
I definitely understand your perspective. A lot of people enjoy dominating "alpha females" or "alpha males". The idea of getting someone who is strong-willed and assertive to submit is a tremendous aphrodisiac to some people. I think this is why so many male Doms insist on writing to female Dommes and trying to get them to submit to them. They are likely seeking the same sensation that you described.

ETA: Or perhaps they just don't take the time to read the profile see that she's actually a Domme.

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Post #: 22

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 5:51:33 AM

LillyBoPeep

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
I think this is why so many male Doms insist on writing to female Dommes and trying to get them to submit to them. They are likely seeking the same sensation that you described.

ETA: Or perhaps they just don't take the time to read the profile see that she's actually a Domme.

well a lot of them are trying to "prove" that there is no such thing as female dominance. some dudes believe this and dedicate their kinky lives to proving it.

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Post #: 23

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 5:51:41 AM

Rochsub2009

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Still waiting for input from someone in a same-sex relationship. Lance? Heather? Hannah? Where are you?

I'm also curious to hear if Otterswim has anything to add as pertains to girly boys and female dominants. Any contrasts there that I might not have thought about?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 24

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 5:53:02 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
I think this is why so many male Doms insist on writing to female Dommes and trying to get them to submit to them. They are likely seeking the same sensation that you described.

ETA: Or perhaps they just don't take the time to read the profile see that she's actually a Domme.

well a lot of them are trying to "prove" that there is no such thing as female dominance. some dudes believe this and dedicate their kinky lives to proving it.

You may be right. And I'm sure there are plenty of Dommes who have the e-mails to support your point.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 25

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 5:54:42 AM

LillyBoPeep

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

For me... if I'm playing with a bio male -- I enjoy it when he's many feet taller than I am and physically much more dominating...

i do think it's interesting, with this, and with what Rochsub described in his OP, and HieroV's post, that the man=bigger, woman=smaller contrast is still there, or sought after, like with an MDom/fsub relationship for some of us, but obviously the critical difference is in who controls who and who has the power.
for me, his size being greater than mine illustrates/reinforces the power dynamic, and for others, the size difference adds to a feeling of submission.

its interesting how the same thing can mean wildly different things, depending on who's looking.

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Post #: 26

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:19:13 AM

MissImmortalPain

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For me personally it has always been a very physical thing, but maybe not in the way you mean. I have dommed both large and small men. Men with money and those without it. But as a person of power I have never understood the men that sub to small, cute, young women as them doing anything but getting off on small, cute, etc. I could be wrong, I admt that, but to dominate someone I have always felt that one most truely be able to do so. That may come from my personal thoughts when I was a sub but I don't believe I could ever for any reason submit to someone that was weaker than I am. The live in and I talked about this once and he said it is about attitude more than the physical so I can understand how others might see it the same way. But for me personally there is no Dom/me unless one is actually able to dominate.

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Post #: 27

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:19:17 AM

LadyHibiscus

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FR
I can see how this would work. My slave was a foot taller than me. I just never *thought* of his size as a thing. I remember being startled, turning over in bed to find this *wall* next to me. So, neat idea, but it was more meaningful to me that he was a dom submitting to me, not that he was a big galoot.

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Post #: 28

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:23:21 AM

Aileen1968

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I am five feet tall. He is six three. I can tell you from experience that there is an exaggerated sense of power exchange based on our size differences.
I feel every hit and the fact that it comes from someone so much larger than I am and I'm still somewhat standing and coherent at the end is amazing sometimes.

He says he likes me because I can take a punch from him.

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Post #: 29

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:30:47 AM

PeonForHer

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FR

Physical strength in a woman isn't relevant to me. Height really isn't, either. Though, I'll get a slightly different sub-buzz from an Amazon to that which I'd get from a Miss Dinky. On the other hand, I've noticed that a certain strength about the jawline can make think 'ding!' more than it might for most men.

But if there's one thing that really does it . . . it's the attire. Floaty summer dresses and strappy sandals work on me better than black leather. That, I know, is absolutely about contrasts. Tiger in pussy cat's clothing, perhaps. But, also, it adds to the 'wrongness' of her dominating me - and I do go for that 'wrongness'. Hoh yes.

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Post #: 30

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:34:09 AM

crazyml

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Serious question...

How about a floaty summer dress, with the subtle impression that there might be black latex knickers on underneath?

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Post #: 31

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:40:58 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

But as a person of power I have never understood the men that sub to small, cute, young women as them doing anything but getting off on small, cute, etc. I could be wrong, I admt that, but to dominate someone I have always felt that one most truly be able to do so.

MIP,
I agree in part. I could never submit to someone simply because they're cute, or petite, etc. They have to have that inherently dominant personality. But if they are dominant, and also happen to be cute and petite, well that just sends me into orbit.

But you're probably right that there are people who just get off on small and cute. But that wasn't specifically the behavior that I was addressing in this thread.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 32

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:50:14 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Serious question...

How about a floaty summer dress, with the subtle impression that there might be black latex knickers on underneath?

Hmmm. I shall have to ponder on that. I usually like to think of white knickers. But no frills. I can't stand frills. That's going too far for me.

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Post #: 33

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:52:26 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

But if there's one thing that really does it . . . it's the attire. Floaty summer dresses and strappy sandals work on me better than black leather. That, I know, is absolutely about contrasts. Tiger in pussy cat's clothing, perhaps. But, also, it adds to the 'wrongness' of her dominating me - and I do go for that 'wrongness'. Hoh yes.

Me too, Peon! The "wrongness" is part of what makes it so right.

I think that it may be difficult for some females to wrap their minds around that. I have already observed many of the women in this thread being more turned on by the more biological male/female dichotomy. For them, it may be hard to grasp something that is quite the opposite of natural biology. From a biological standpoint, what we are describing is simply "wrong". But the wrongness, in and of itself, is.......potent.

Like you, I am not really drawn to the domineering, uber-bitch, caricature Domme wearing leather/latex and thigh high boots. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I'd be much more aroused by a more reserved, lady-like, soft-spoken domme wearing a pretty sun dress (I'm not sure what you mean by a "Floaty summer dress", but perhaps it's the same thing) and some very feminine, strappy heels. Being smacked in the face, or ordered to get on my knees and worship her ass, by that embodiment of feminine beauty and grace would totally do it for me. As you said, the "wrongness" of it is amazingly powerful (at least to me).

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 9/26/2011 6:55:16 AM >

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Post #: 34

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:59:04 AM

Madame4a

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Funnily enough, I didn't answer this from my same sex perspective.. which is my norm... I haven't played with a man in years...
but I will add, that when I say bio male -- I mean a leatherman... in fact, the extreme difference between a dyke and a leatherman is also a turn on for me... considering we don't even have a mutual sexual attraction.. well, generally, as nothing is black or white..

anyway, from my perspective as a dyke -- I don't really think about it and perhaps that's because my partnerships and romance are with other women and their size doesn't matter so much. Not at all sure why that different.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Still waiting for input from someone in a same-sex relationship. Lance? Heather? Hannah? Where are you?

I'm also curious to hear if Otterswim has anything to add as pertains to girly boys and female dominants. Any contrasts there that I might not have thought about?

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 9/26/2011 7:02:07 AM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 35

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 6:59:33 AM

DesFIP

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For me: physically yes, mentally no.

I wouldn't find it hot to submit to someone dumber than I am. I needed a man equal to me in intelligence. Not that he's interested in the same things I am, but we're both very smart people. We can share what we are interested in to each other, enhancing each others lives.

But physically, a man who was my height, 5'3", wouldn't turn me on at all. I'm always attracted to someone much taller and brawnier. However I'm not sure if that is because of polarity since most men are much taller than me. To me, a taller man is the standard.

However, I am totally bewildered that anyone would think being friends with your lover is a bad thing. Personally, unless the person is also a friend, we won't progress to becoming sexual partners.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 9/26/2011 7:04:36 AM >

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Post #: 36

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 7:39:55 AM

MissImmortalPain

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I didn't think it was Roch, but I can only answer things the way I see them. I like younger men, but I'm not submitting to them. It is an arguement of real power for me, and sadly I know few very young men that are smarter, stronger(mental and physical), better off(unless they were born into money) than I am. Though I will give you to remove the physical all together if I can out wit you than there is a pretty good chance I will think of you as sub no matter what you think of yourself. And the thought of mental dominance does tickle me in a way that physical doesn't.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 37

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 7:56:22 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

I like younger men, but I'm not submitting to them. It is an argument of real power for me, and sadly I know few very young men that are smarter, stronger(mental and physical), better off(unless they were born into money) than I am.

That seems to be the trend that we're seeing. Females seem to be drawn more to "real" power, particularly physical. And this seems to be true regardless of which side of the kneel the woman is on.

Male subs, on the other hand, seem to be able to disregard "real" power. In fact, the lack thereof seems to contribute to the "wrongness" (to use Peon's word).

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 38

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 8:00:54 AM

Rochsub2009

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One thing that I haven't heard is any dominant women saying that they are irresistibly drawn to weak men. I wonder if this has any bearing on the success (or lack thereof) of the many male subs who use the "I'm a weak, worthess worm" approach to entice Dommes? Perhaps they're at a disadvantage because they're not leveraging the polarity effect that we've been discussing.

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Post #: 39

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 9:00:34 AM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Serious question...

How about a floaty summer dress, with the subtle impression that there might be black latex knickers on underneath?

Crazy!! Stay out of my bureau!

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Post #: 40

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