RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange?

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 9:07:04 AM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

One thing that I haven't heard is any dominant women saying that they are irresistibly drawn to weak men. I wonder if this has any bearing on the success (or lack thereof) of the many male subs who use the "I'm a weak, worthess worm" approach to entice Dommes? Perhaps they're at a disadvantage because they're not leveraging the polarity effect that we've been discussing.

Have you met weak men? Bleargh. Srsly, dude! Who wants to have a slug attached to them?

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 9:08:43 AM

LadyHibiscus

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AND!! I am offering a BIG HARUMPH to those of you who are reminding me that SUMMER IS OVER!! Many floaty dresses I have, and I have not gotten to wear them enough!! And now I have to wait until next JUNE or some damn thing. GAH!!

note the five!

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 10:23:48 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

That seems to be the trend that we're seeing. Females seem to be drawn more to "real" power, particularly physical. And this seems to be true regardless of which side of the kneel the woman is on.

Add me to this column! I'll often start tickling him because I know it will lead to me squirming on the floor, begging for mercy :)

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 10:49:44 AM

littlewonder

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for me yes this is totally true.

I never have felt submissive towards men who are shorter than 5'7", physically weaker than me, younger than me or not as smart at least as me.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 12:37:40 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never have felt submissive towards men who are shorter than 5'7", physically weaker than me, younger than me or not as smart at least as me.

But what if a Dom meets one or two of the criteria? For example, what if he were a 22 year old, 6'4" muscle guy? Could that work for you? Or what if he were a brilliant 50 year old, 5'7", skinny mathematics professor? Or does he have to be older, taller, stronger, AND smarter?

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 12:42:08 PM

littlewonder

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He has to be all of the above. Thankfully I have exactly that.

I was single for years upon years because I simply was not attracted to anyone less than what I was seeking. If I can't feel that power over me than it's just not going to work for me.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 1:10:53 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

That seems to be the trend that we're seeing. Females seem to be drawn more to "real" power, particularly physical. And this seems to be true regardless of which side of the kneel the woman is on.

Add me to this column! I'll often start tickling him because I know it will lead to me squirming on the floor, begging for mercy :)

This is starting to feel like deja vu.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 1:32:34 PM

MissImmortalPain

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Ok, so I did leave this out of almost everything I said. I pointed out that I like(adore) younger men. Infact if you aren't around at least ten years younger than I am it more than likely won't last. But I forgot to say that I actually do just as much like "weak" young men. I am a domme mommy. I like to take young people of either gender and rebuild them into something better, stronger, faster(insert the six million dollar man theme here) And if you find that at all odd than you should see me beat a "worm" until he says to stop it because he should be treated better.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 9/26/2011 1:35:35 PM >

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 2:15:59 PM

gungadin09

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i submitted once to someone much younger than me. His age detracted from the level of dominance that i perceived Him to have.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 2:30:06 PM

NocturnalStalker

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I like women that other men would mutilate themselves to be with. Of course there are more factors to consider for anything long-term but one of the main draws will be aesthetics for me. That sounds vain obviously and call it what you will, but seeing an expression of plea on a pretty visage heightens my mood than one on a face that "anybody could have."

It's all status in this world. The faster your car, the snappier your clothing, the tighter the body, the more prominent you appear. I desire a female that can reflect well with my extravagance. I was raised with an outlook that I should have the best. I don't settle for cheap and used. I expect her to be every bit as meticulous and cautious.

To me that enhances my relationship. To possess someone that also wants the best and in a way, stroke one another's ego.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 3:06:29 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

I like women that other men would mutilate themselves to be with.....the main draws will be aesthetics for me. That sounds vain obviously and call it what you will, but seeing an expression of plea on a pretty visage heightens my mood than one on a face that "anybody could have."

So since this is a thread about being attracted to traits that are in stark contrast to your own, shall I assume that you're suggesting that your own physical appearance is hideously grotesque?

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 3:10:51 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
I like(adore) younger men. In fact if you aren't around at least ten years younger than I am it more than likely won't last. But I forgot to say that I actually do just as much like "weak" young men. I am a domme mommy. I like to take young people of either gender and rebuild them into something better, stronger, faster(insert the six million dollar man theme here)

MIP,
I never realized that you were a "mommy Domme". Somehow, I never got that sense from your posts (Perhaps that's because you don't mention it explicitly very often). Thanks for sharing that. I now have a new perspective on you and your kink.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 4:45:57 PM

NocturnalStalker

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

I like women that other men would mutilate themselves to be with.....the main draws will be aesthetics for me. That sounds vain obviously and call it what you will, but seeing an expression of plea on a pretty visage heightens my mood than one on a face that "anybody could have."

So since this is a thread about being attracted to traits that are in stark contrast to your own, shall I assume that you're suggesting that your own physical appearance is hideously grotesque?

Let me explain what I was getting at a little more thoroughly.

If I'm with someone that is physically attractive and has a proud poise then I can likely assume that they are independent as well and not afraid to speak when they want to. If I say something and they suddenly oppose it, giving me a challenge, that to me is the contrast I enjoy most. To have someone that is polarizing in looks/thought by comparison simply makes me become bored. Having a sycophant for a partner is not how I roll. I want to feel like I'm "earning" their submission, and vice-versa on their front. It's like a playful mental battle where we are equals yet I somehow manage to get one step ahead and win in the end.

I'm less about the day-to-day, "Yes Sir" and more about, "Is that what you think?"

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 4:49:37 PM

MissToYouRedux

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Interesting question, but the answer for me is, "No", and personally, I get annoyed with questions from submissives asking me, "Doesn't X make you feel powerful?" I enjoy the power exchange, but I don't do what I do to feel powerful. I do it for fun!

I match up with anybody in education, so my college professor sub didn't "enhance" it. Money isn't impressive to me, so corporate and wealthier didn't "enhance" it. I've had my share of sweet young things who preferred me over adorable twenty-somethings, but age didn't "enhance" it. I enjoy exotic types, but the difference in race didn't "enhance" it. I do admit my inner two year old squeals, "Pony!" with a bigger guy, but I don't look for bigger guys (or ponies, necessarily.)

If anything, I particularly like somebody who brings "new and different" into my life. It doesn't enhance the power exchange, but it does enhance my fun.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 4:55:07 PM

Mishna

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I'm 5'3" and my sub is 6'4", muscular and strong. He could break me if he chose. It is, indeed, an addition to the dynamic that I control him, and he submits to me. I understand exactly what you are talking about, OP.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 4:56:26 PM

ourmsbetty

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Yes...

Knowing he was that much bigger, that much stronger, that was an incredible turn on for me.

He could lift me clear off my feet (and I am not exactly a small woman) and knowing I had that much raw power harnessed under my control was incredibly hot.

It always made me think of the Strength card in the Tarot deck...

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 9:20:30 PM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

One thing that I haven't heard is any dominant women saying that they are irresistibly drawn to weak men. I wonder if this has any bearing on the success (or lack thereof) of the many male subs who use the "I'm a weak, worthess worm" approach to entice Dommes? Perhaps they're at a disadvantage because they're not leveraging the polarity effect that we've been discussing.

*drily* Ya think? The message I've gotten from Dommes is they enjoy dominating a man who is - in various ways - powerful. One told me once how much she'd enjoy dominating POTUS simply because of the power he held. Consequently guys who are tall, strong, alpha or successful in business are desired. Weak-willed pathetic worms are both common as muck and extremely undesirable.

Feminine women submit to a Dom worthy of them. That is, he inspires her submission because of the various traits he demonstrates. I imagine the ideal strategy for a male sub is to do likewise. Don't present yourself as a sub, present yourself as a masochist and let them try and inspire you to submit. Give them something to conquer.

Regardless of their kink orientation, Dommes are still women, first and foremost. They're still going to be - consciously or unconsciously - looking for that sexual polarity and a man with a backbone. It just so happens they'll want that backbone to bend to their will.

Part of the problem here is that just by being online and identifying that you're looking, you're implying that you're seeking a Domme. That's a weak position of engagement to begin with. Far better to be simply seeking a woman and only allowing those of sufficient worth to know the hard details about your kink orientation. At least one woman here has spoken about the rush of having a Dom submit to her. If that doesn't give you an insight into their mindset, then nothing will.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/26/2011 10:47:59 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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Really interesting thread. None of it applies to us, but still very interesting ideas and views.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 6:44:31 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Regardless of their kink orientation, Dommes are still women, first and foremost. They're still going to be - consciously or unconsciously - looking for that sexual polarity and a man with a backbone. It just so happens they'll want that backbone to bend to their will.

As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with you.

Arrggghhh! Saying that felt even more disgusting than I thought it would.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 6:48:34 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

None of it applies to us,

I'm sorry to hear that. I was looking forward to learning if there was some type of same-sex equivalent to the polarities that we've been discussing.

For example, since members of the same gender are going to be similar in more ways than members of the opposite sex, I thought there might be more subtle areas of contrast that you look for. For example, if you're a blonde, you might find that dating brunettes and redheads is somehow more appealing.

That's probably a bad example, but hopefully you get my point.

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