RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange?

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/28/2011 4:02:06 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Just quickly, hey Rochsub2009 - thanks for this OP, this must rank as one of the most interesting and pleasant threads I've seen for a while.

Agreed. And after a good OP, he's carried on fielding comments, pleasantly and thoughtfully. That's rare. The man deserves a round of applause.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/28/2011 6:50:38 AM

MasterofRopes66

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My personal heard experience from others is that contrast in different separate areas as height, education, financial status, life experience a.s.o. CAN enhance the sense of depth in the power exchange, but doesn´t always do that for everyone.
For me personally it depends more on the level of sincere interaction between the parties in general that I pick up from being together.
A sense of that she´s truly LETTING me take charge, submitting of own free will and I don´t have to actively create an athmosphere first, so that she feels she "must" submit and I´m forced to keep that athmosphere intact over time.
That doesn´t work in the longrun in a non-sexualbased D/s-24/7-relationship, living together or not.

I prefer being taller than the sub in general, but if the person interacts with me in a serious way and submits fully anyway, it doesn´t matter if the sub should be somewhat taller than me. Too much heightdifference does not work, so the contrast there must be within reasonable frames...

MP.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/28/2011 11:53:06 AM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

So far, no one has mentioned race. This is an obvious area of contrast, and I know that there are people on here who get off on race play (many of you have written to me).

I think there's a reason for that. Many of the contrasting aspects fundamentally tie into the notion of power. If you're not seeing a racial difference as simply exotic, then you're probably seeing in terma of a power differential - which is dangerously close to the idea of seeing one race as relatively better or worse than another.

My own experiences on that score have been purely exotic. Asian girls and brown girls (specifically Maori), so there was no tie in to power exchange at all.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/28/2011 12:09:57 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Just quickly, hey Rochsub2009 - thanks for this OP, this must rank as one of the most interesting and pleasant threads I've seen for a while.

Agreed. And after a good OP, he's carried on fielding comments, pleasantly and thoughtfully. That's rare. The man deserves a round of applause.

Thanks guys. I appreciate the compliment.

I'm not 100% sure, but I think this is the first thread I've ever started. I've always avoided doing it because people have a tendency to beat the OP to a bloody pulp, rather than have a cordial conversation. So I've tried to remain engaged to keep things peaceful.

I don't know why, but it seems that a lot of threads have been turning hostile lately. I didn't want this one to go down that same path.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 9/28/2011 12:10:45 PM >

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/28/2011 12:22:34 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Many of the contrasting aspects fundamentally tie into the notion of power. If you're not seeing a racial difference as simply exotic, then you're probably seeing in terma of a power differential - which is dangerously close to the idea of seeing one race as relatively better or worse than another.

But there really ARE people who see race as a part of a power differential. Someone chimed in to share that perspective.

There have been threads on this board about race, and there will inevitably be someone who blatantly says, or strongly insinuates, that one race is inferior to another.

Frankly, I've received messages from people who have wanted to engage in race play with me. I almost always reject those requests, because they're typically racist (although the person making the request often doesn't see it that way).

I remember one white Domme wrote to me about potentially serving her. While she had obviously read my profile, it was clear that my race was the primary thing that interested her. To paraphrase her, she said something to the effect of "It's good to find a black sub male like yourself. It's so hard to find black male subs. I'm glad to see that you know your proper place, which is serving white people. I'd love to talk to you about becoming my slave."

She was friendly and cordial, and I don't think she meant to be racist at all. But it became clear that she thought that blacks serving whites was the "natural order of things". She believed that I was "enlightened" enough to share her views, and she sincerely wanted to develop a relationship.

I've also seen blacks who got off on dominating whites because of the historical imbalance between the races.

I don't judge anyone's kink. However, race play is one that I've always avoided. It has too much potential for crossing over to blatant racism. And frankly, I don't want to go to jail for killing someone.

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RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/28/2011 12:46:07 PM

paulmcuk

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

I was specifically talking about my experience in submitting to a much younger Domme. I noted that it wasn't the fact that she was young and hot that made the relationship exciting. Rather, it was the fact that she was young enough to be my daughter. In a vanilla sense, I was older, wiser, better educated, wealthier, and more powerful than her. In the eyes of society, I probably looked like her dad. Or her boss. Or someone who should be in authority over her. This contrast in our ages made the dynamic more potent for me.

I gave another example as well. I postulated that a petite (5'0", 102 lbs.) woman might feel an analogous sensation of enhanced power exchange if she were dominating a 6'5", 235 lb., muscular submissive man. Their size differential might make the D/s more potent than if he were a 5'8" pudgy guy.

I share your feelings on this to an extent. I love the idea of submitting to a much younger Domme and also to a petite Domme, for the very reason you cite. I find it enhances the reversal of the expected power dynamic.

That said, attitude is all and a young and/or petite Domme has to have it. In particular, if a Domme seems immature I couldn't feel submissive to her. Case in point are the profiles (often from "teen" Dommes) that are written in text speak. Can't really take them seriously.

I also have to say that an impressive statuesque physique will make me go weak at the knees. So while I relate to the petite thing, it's far from being an essential criteria.

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