RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 6:56:32 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i submitted once to someone much younger than me. His age detracted from the level of dominance that i perceived Him to have.

Pam,
Based on the other answers from women, your response doesn't surprise me.

I'm finding it interesting that regardless of which side of the kneel they may be on, women seem to prefer classic areas of strength. Traits like taller, stronger, smarter, older, more powerful, seem to be highly desireable in male Doms or male subs.

So while a male sub might find that submitting to a hot, young Domme would enhance their experience, you found that your Dom's youth detracted from the dynamic.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 9/27/2011 6:58:05 AM >

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 61

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 7:02:00 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Fast Reply.

I'm all of five foot two. Because of this, the question is almost a non sequitor. Damn near anyone that I dominate is going to be in contrast to Me. Point blank, I'm flipping short. Anybody over six foot might fall into this supposed contrast.

Aside from the physical, I happen to be very popular with those with an engineering background. I have more of a common sense than technical approach. Usually, this lends to a new perspective.

Oddly enough, I have never thought of Myself as a 'lesser' Domme in some way. I'll have to think about that.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 62

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 7:10:02 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

For example, if you're a blonde, you might find that dating brunettes and redheads is somehow more appealing.

Well it's the other way round, I collect blonds.

I just don't know, I'll have to think about it. On the surface I just don't see any real contrast. Other than perhaps well maybe just life experience, but that's sort of vague. I mean I led a very sheltered life really and that contrasts enormously with Hanners' life. But while her past is indeed part of her appeal to me, I can't really say that that enhances the power exchange. She's physically bigger then me, but I'm lucky if I'm 5'1" so almost everybody of legal age is bigger than me, so that doesn't seem to have an effect. I don't know, I just don't really see any contrast that really enhances the power exchange.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 63

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 7:13:51 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Oddly enough, I have never thought of Myself as a 'lesser' Domme in some way. I'll have to think about that.

And I don't think you should think of yourself as lesser. Hopefully, I didn't imply that being short makes you "lesser".

I didn't mean for my post to imply that either side was "good" or "bad". I simply wanted to see if "opposites attract".

So in your case, you mentioned that almost everyone is taller than you. But when the height difference is magnified (e.g. He's 6'5"), does it feel any different to you? Is it more enjoyable than dominating a 5'6" guy? Does it make you feel even more powerful?

Similarly, you're in a relationship with a soldier. Does that enhance things? Soldiers are perceived to be very "manly" (just like firemen are). Moreover, they're trained killers. I'm sure that there are women who would find that dominating a man who can kill other men is a very erotic thing. And the fact that you are a very short woman provides even greater contrast to this man who can hurt people. So do you ever make him put on his uniform while you're beating him?

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 9/27/2011 7:18:26 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 64

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 7:24:26 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

So far, no one has mentioned race. This is an obvious area of contrast, and I know that there are people on here who get off on race play (many of you have written to me).

Is there anyone who cares to share how the contrasting race and skin tones enhances your experience?

I am hoping this thread will remain a "judgement-free zone", and nobody will criticize someone who happens to enjoy race play.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 65

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 7:56:05 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Oddly enough, I have never thought of Myself as a 'lesser' Domme in some way. I'll have to think about that.

And I don't think you should think of yourself as lesser. Hopefully, I didn't imply that being short makes you "lesser".

I didn't mean for my post to imply that either side was "good" or "bad". I simply wanted to see if "opposites attract".

So in your case, you mentioned that almost everyone is taller than you. But when the height difference is magnified (e.g. He's 6'5"), does it feel any different to you? Is it more enjoyable than dominating a 5'6" guy? Does it make you feel even more powerful?

Similarly, you're in a relationship with a soldier. Does that enhance things? Soldiers are perceived to be very "manly" (just like firemen are). Moreover, they're trained killers. I'm sure that there are women who would find that dominating a man who can kill other men is a very erotic thing. And the fact that you are a very short woman provides even greater contrast to this man who can hurt people. So do you ever make him put on his uniform while you're beating him?

There might be women with whom it does. It does not to Me. Frankly, that shit sucks. In My world, it is not hypothetical. There is no joy in this. Yes, I have given My boy a directive to kill anyone who would kill him first. It's not as easy as you might think.

For what it is worth, My boy is a great man. Most men can not equal his character and yet he kneels before Me. If he thinks of Me as less, he has never shown it. All I have ever known is that he serves Me.

If his faith has been misplaced, I will deal with that directly.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 66

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 9:47:54 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There might be women with whom it does. It does not to Me. Frankly, that shit sucks. In My world, it is not hypothetical. There is no joy in this. Yes, I have given My boy a directive to kill anyone who would kill him first.

That makes sense. I'm sure that when he was deployed, you worried terribly for his safety.

It's probably no different than being a fireman's wife, or a policeman's wife. Other women may view them as sexy "men in uniform". But to the wives, the sexiness of the uniform has long since worn out, and they just pray that their husbands come home safely each night.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 67

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 9:56:22 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I've been pondering this, and it just does not compute. It's not the size of the person, or what they do for a living, or how much money they have. It's about their character, and what they have to offer me. If they get all hot because I am short, well spiffy-do bonus. Menz!! Not Like Us!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 68

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 11:38:45 AM

NumeroDos

Posts: 9
Joined: 5/6/2011
Status: offline

If we're talking about physical differences, a few contrasts like height and muscularity (within reason) can definitely spice things up. Although in terms of race, age, and hair color, I prefer someone similar to me.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 69

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 12:05:35 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
I'm finding it interesting that regardless of which side of the kneel they may be on, women seem to prefer classic areas of strength. Traits like taller, stronger, smarter, older, more powerful, seem to be highly desireable in male Doms or male subs.

So while a male sub might find that submitting to a hot, young Domme would enhance their experience, you found that your Dom's youth detracted from the dynamic.

That's interesting. i always chalked it up to simple preference, but you could be right. i don't like skinny guys, i've never dated anyone shorter than me, i prefer older men, and if they're smarter than me it makes me hot. However, i'm indifferent to money and status.

pam

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 70

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 12:30:56 PM

EmilyRocks

Posts: 357
Joined: 5/5/2011
Status: offline

quote:

Is there anyone who cares to share how the contrasting race and skin tones enhances your experience?

I do. I like smacking around a white woman. There is a thrill to dominating a social "superior". There is also an historical revenge aspect that appeals to me.

It is even more fun if they are older and from a higher tax bracket as well.

The most fun I had was playing with a well to do middle aged white American couple up here for the summer. That really was delicious, the age, wealth, educational, experience, social, power and racial imbalances all played into it wonderfully.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 71

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 2:43:11 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
So far, no one has mentioned race. This is an obvious area of contrast, and I know that there are people on here who get off on race play (many of you have written to me).

Is there anyone who cares to share how the contrasting race and skin tones enhances your experience?

Are you asking about BDSM dynamics, or relationships in general? Over half of my sexual relationships have been with men from another country. Over half of my friendships still are with people who were born in another country. It's not a question of race, but rather of culture. People from other cultures intrigue me. It's not a sexual thing. i think contrast enhances relationships in general, sexual and non-sexual alike.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 9/27/2011 2:44:24 PM >

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 72

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 2:58:18 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
That makes sense. I'm sure that when he was deployed, you worried terribly for his safety.

It's probably no different than being a fireman's wife, or a policeman's wife. Other women may view them as sexy "men in uniform". But to the wives, the sexiness of the uniform has long since worn out, and they just pray that their husbands come home safely each night.

I think I may have unintentionally taken some of the fun out of your thread. With this in mind, I'll try to put some back in.

Yes, the every day uniform, you kind of get used to. I actually don't care much for the latest revision. They aren't anywhere near as sharp as the old ones that had to be starched and pressed.

The class A's though...... Those are HOT. Both My men look damn fine in those. Every last detail perfect and in place. Better than Armani because they earned every stitch in the cloth. Knowing those are My men that turn other women's heads fills Me with pride. You can't beat that with a stick.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 73

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 5:07:19 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmilyRocks

quote:

Is there anyone who cares to share how the contrasting race and skin tones enhances your experience?

I do. I like smacking around a white woman. There is a thrill to dominating a social "superior". There is also an historical revenge aspect that appeals to me.

It is even more fun if they are older and from a higher tax bracket as well.

Thank you for chiming in. I knew that there were people out there who found that racial differences enhance their experience. Race play is a pretty common kink.

It's interesting that you also said that dominating people who are older and in a higher tax bracket also enhances your D/s experience. I've known many others who have found those dominating older, or wealthier people does add spice to their D/s play.

(in reply to EmilyRocks)

Post #: 74

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 5:54:09 PM

Vidwan

Posts: 16
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline

I'm pretty new here, and have only been 'on the market' as a slave since early last year, so my experience is very limited.

I've been thinking about your thread, and decided to have a go at replying anyway.

I'm a gay male, 6'4" tall, outgoing with quite a strong personality. The first man i served was about 5'6" tall, slim, quietly spoken, introverted, but our intelligence level sort of matched. He is very much into TPE in the extreme, so I was thrown in at the deep end, being a total newbie.
I felt that me towering over him was not something he especially liked or disliked. What he seemed to enjoy most was the difference in experience. Him having been a Master for many years, and me being a very willing and obedient slave for him to form, direct, and train in the very strict protocols and rituals that I so willingly and eagerly embraced.
He revelled in my eagerness and the ease at which i very quickly got into his way of living and his slave.... so it was the extremes of experience that seemed to appeal, as it did for me. Although i think it was my natural instinct and understanding or my role, and real potential he saw in me being his longterm slave that had more appeal for him.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 75

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 8:52:53 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i've never been particularly enthralled by the contrast between skin tones. that's usually one of the first things a guy who's into interracial relationships will say -- "oh the skin contrast is so blah blah blah." the only time M and i really talked about it was in passing, noticing how our skin wasn't really all that different when he was tan from being outside so much. neither one of us really cared too much. i think my Top friend finds it interesting, he comments on it every once in a while, but it doesn't really enhance anything for me. so far in my life, all of my relationships, serious or casual, have been with white guys, but i think that's just because of my background, the things i'm into, and the places i hang out.
for me, the most important contrast is the typical/traditional masculine/feminine divide. =p at least superficially.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to Vidwan)

Post #: 76

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 9:39:15 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

Vidwan,
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like this particular phenomenon didn't apply to your relationship. Heather said the same thing about her relationship. So I guess their may not be an analogous phenomenon in same-sex relationships as I had hypothesized.

BTW, hearing your story about you and your more experienced master made me smile. Your post made me think of many pleasant memories that I hadn't thought about in quite some time. I remembered what things were like when I was new to WIITWD, and how every experience was so new and exciting back then. I thank you for that.

(in reply to Vidwan)

Post #: 77

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 11:07:53 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Your welcome, Roch. But don't assume I fit into what others might define as a mommy domme. It's not an incest thing, and I sure as hell don't do pottys. I do however treat my pets(my boys) in very close to the same way I treat my son, his friends, etc. They are like children to me. They need to be taught to behave the right way. Show the right respect. Learn how to grow to be a better person. Very few ever hit what I consider to be real men, but it what I want them to learn to be.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 78

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/27/2011 11:58:00 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I've been pondering this, and it just does not compute. It's not the size of the person, or what they do for a living, or how much money they have. It's about their character, and what they have to offer me. If they get all hot because I am short, well spiffy-do bonus. Menz!! Not Like Us!

Agrees with part of this. I have said it so many times but I really dig those shorter (5'8") or so muscular ethnic looking men. I love them. Give me one of the extras from the Godfather....hell yeah

. And I'm 5'9", no issues with that at all. DeNiro and Pacino seem to have no problem getting laid.

. It's their presence, their domliness, not their height. Shorter, swarthy and gangster like. Bring them to me, now please. ;-)

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 79

RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange? - 9/28/2011 3:32:56 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Just quickly, hey Rochsub2009 - thanks for this OP, this must rank as one of the most interesting and pleasant threads I've seen for a while.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 80

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Does contrast enhance power exchange?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.110