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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/6/2011 5:21:49 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
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quote:

I think a BDSM relationship is neither better nor worse than a vanilla one

I'd say you need a better BDSM relationship then. obviously you need to spend more time cleaning the toilet.

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/6/2011 8:47:01 PM

MistressLilliana

Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
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I am most definitely a Mistress and perhaps seeing it from a view like Mine (though My case isn't everyone's) it might help. I do not like to lose control, I like to be IN control. If you cannot give up control what so ever then maybe you aren't a sub. Then again, you must ask yourself, are there times I like to lose control and if so, what makes you like it?

You might hate giving control in sexual play but you like to be told what to do around the house. You might love to feel you are needed and to please someone else gives you pleasure but you like to feel like they need you too.

I have a tiny submissive side to Me. I like play piercing. I love submitting Myself to someone who is trained and letting them run needles through My skin and removing them when I'm done. Does this make me a sub? No, because in most aspects I love control and love knowing that My slave/pet needs and loves Me and will do anything to please Me.

Though some would dispute this, I believe everyone has some limits because we are all human. Some believe that a sub should submit entirely without question. I believe trust is earned and I believe that limits can be tested. That is why I make sure the one I chose to be My slave/pet knows what is expected and if they cannot handle it then that is fine, I'm always open and honest with what I desire.

Perhaps you could be a switch depending on your situation. Maybe you like submitting for housework but not for play. You can find other switches who like the opposite that way both needs are met.

I believe in a 24/7 relationship that slaves/pets submit so willingly without problems and actually find pleasure in pleasing their Mistress/Master do so because they do love them and they trust them.

With subs who go part time, they submit willingly because they also have trust and perhaps love for their Mistress/Master but when the "session" is done, they go back to life as usual.

Hope this helps. If not, I've probably just confused you!

(in reply to Rokobilli)

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/6/2011 11:49:28 PM

davidx77x

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Joined: 10/3/2011
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I think it's different for every sub but for me this is what it is:

For me when it's a relationship it's the fact that I feel powerless to the beauty of my partner such that it can outshine me and that my soul goal is to pleasure them, but also it's mainly being able to trust someone that really means something to you to have complete control, to be completely in their hands

When it's a casual thing I think it's more about being used and wanting to pleasure someone because of how attracted to them you are, but at the same time allowing them and their sex appeal to rule over you such that you're insignificant and that your pleasure is secondary to theirs, but this becomes pleasure in itself

If you're not into it then yeah do as gungadin said and just try domming and see how that goes

(in reply to gungadin09)

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/8/2011 7:50:06 AM

subjan1962

Posts: 52
Joined: 10/24/2009
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i have been with my Master for over two years, i have a responsible job, i also serve in a public office so im my work life i am very much in control. However the dynamic between Master and me is completely the opposite, although we do not live together, He is a 30 min drive from me, He controls my personal life completely.
From the day we first met i have felt completely submissive towards Him, so much so that i am very rarely punnished as i am happy to do anything He asks. Maybe it is because He is such a good, experienced Master i just naturally want to give myself to Him, i belong to Him 100% and over the time we have been together i have fallen deeply in love with Him.
So in answer to your question, it just comes naturally if the dynamic is right.

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/9/2011 10:45:00 PM

Rokobilli

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Joined: 3/19/2011
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Thank you to everyone for your responses I have dissected and studied all of your answers and have really absorbed all you have said thanks again.

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/9/2011 10:48:05 PM

Rokobilli

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i seeeee

< Message edited by Rokobilli -- 10/9/2011 10:50:31 PM >

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/9/2011 10:49:30 PM

Rokobilli

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im picking up on some subtle hints here hahaha jk

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/11/2011 1:00:01 PM

Sunny27

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Joined: 10/9/2010
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I find it easy being a sub/slave as I like to clean things, sort things at home, do dusting you shouldn't be a sub/slave then. I think being a dom is better for you getting to tell someone what to do is easier. I can clean quickly sometimes depending on how big the place is! I also love to give myself entirely to my dom as I know he will never hurt me or verbally abuse me. My dom is very nuturing this in turns make me feel safe and secure!Hope you find what you want!

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 8:33:15 AM

dom66666

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Joined: 4/10/2009
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I dont know if this is where I post a question so before I ask,is this where I post said question?im new to cm chat

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 8:56:48 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

I dont know if this is where I post a question so before I ask,is this where I post said question?im new to cm chat

You start a new post. Go to the main page of whatever forum in which you want to ask a question (Ask a Master, General BDSM, etc.), and click on the New Post button just under "Users viewing this forum".

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 9:07:07 AM

dom66666

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why cant I post a question

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 9:17:26 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

why cant I post a question

Fella, I just told you exactly how. After you followed my instructions to the letter, exactly what was the issue that prevented you from posting? Was there an error message? Did something not work as stated? We need something more than just "Something doesn't work right".

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to dom66666)

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 9:25:31 AM

dom66666

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ok,i dont know if ill get what I want from this but here goes,im a real dom with real experience.im not new to the lifestyle nor cm.here is my question,in the last three months,on cm ive talked to four different socalled subs.i talk to them,get to know them over a few weeks.i ask if they are interested in going to the next step which is meeting in person.all of them said yes.i asked again to make sure,again it was yes.with all four different girls,when I ask where they want to meet beit my place or or wherever,they then block me.why the bleep do these so called subs take time to get to know me only to block me when I try to get info about meeting in person especially when ive asked are they sure they want to take that next step?im freakin furious with that kinda bs.any comments from doms subs slaves or anyone REAL would be great.thanks

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 9:59:32 AM

dom66666

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Joined: 4/10/2009
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I thank you for how to post a question but when I click on new post,it says maximum number of windows opened and it wont open to allow me post question.thats y I asked my question here instead.i dont mean to take away from the one who posted his question,i just dont know what else to do.

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 10:01:59 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

ok,i dont know if ill get what I want from this but here goes,im a real dom with real experience.im not new to the lifestyle nor cm.here is my question,in the last three months,on cm ive talked to four different socalled subs.i talk to them,get to know them over a few weeks.i ask if they are interested in going to the next step which is meeting in person.all of them said yes.i asked again to make sure,again it was yes.with all four different girls,when I ask where they want to meet beit my place or or wherever,they then block me.why the bleep do these so called subs take time to get to know me only to block me when I try to get info about meeting in person especially when ive asked are they sure they want to take that next step?im freakin furious with that kinda bs.any comments from doms subs slaves or anyone REAL would be great.thanks

I'd address your question, but the likelihood is that it's going to disappear along with my posting because this is off topic from the original post here. Someone else started a topic, you aren't following it by posing your question.

You were told exactly how to start a thread of your own and didn't do it after saying you had some trouble which you didn't specify. If you really want to get some answers for your questions I'd start a thread on it following the procedures you were given so you can get some answers.

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 10:08:39 AM

lizi

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Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

I thank you for how to post a question but when I click on new post,it says maximum number of windows opened and it wont open to allow me post question.thats y I asked my question here instead.i dont mean to take away from the one who posted his question,i just dont know what else to do.

Hmmm, I don't know what to tell you. I just tried posting a new thread and it seemed to work fine although I didn't actually carry through on it. The multiple windows opened just fine. Which browser are you using?

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 1:42:57 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Clean your cache, close your browser, then try it again. What are you using? The site is optimized for IE although most of us have no trouble in Firefox.

As to why these women wouldn't meet you? Because you aren't asking to meet them for coffee in a public place which allows them to decide if you're someone they have enough chemistry with that they want to see you again. You're demanding sex and kink on a first meet, which is just icky.

I wouldn't call them so called subs, I'd call you a wannabe personally, and I'm sure they're using worse terms. They aren't submissive to you until you have proven yourself to be someone worth submitting to. And you're trying to skip all the stuff that allows someone to learn enough about you to decide that.

Damn few women here are looking for someone to have stranger sex with. And that's what you want. Hell, if we wanted that, we could do it any night of the week at the bar on the corner, we wouldn't have to resort to online.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/15/2011 2:59:56 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

ok,i dont know if ill get what I want from this but here goes,im a real dom with real experience.im not new to the lifestyle nor cm.here is my question,in the last three months,on cm ive talked to four different socalled subs.i talk to them,get to know them over a few weeks.i ask if they are interested in going to the next step which is meeting in person.all of them said yes.i asked again to make sure,again it was yes.with all four different girls,when I ask where they want to meet beit my place or or wherever,they then block me.why the bleep do these so called subs take time to get to know me only to block me when I try to get info about meeting in person especially when ive asked are they sure they want to take that next step?im freakin furious with that kinda bs.any comments from doms subs slaves or anyone REAL would be great.thanks

I would assume that you're making some kind of blunder. Asking them to come over to your place for a first meet might do it. Or, since your comprehension skills seem to be lacking, maybe they sent you some kind of signal that you'd alarmed them, and you ignored it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to dom66666)

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/16/2011 2:16:26 AM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

?im freakin furious with that kinda bs.any comments from doms subs slaves or anyone REAL would be great.thanks

Maybe they are pickign up on your emotional investment in a totally fictional persona. Until you meet that someone in real life, it's best to just pretend the person you chat or talk to is a middle aged, unemplyed male, living with a family member. Also, try not to get so caught up in the whole online dating thing. It's nice when it works, but no more a substitute for the real thing than trying to substitute air for food and water.

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Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

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RE: Subs can you shed some light - 10/20/2011 2:24:46 AM

mons

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Joined: 11/16/2005
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Heather

that is such a wonderfully loving answer you gave wow it was so, so very nice!
You have an 'old soul" this means you live before and being young you know
more then others,, my son is like this too! An old soul kind and loving

mons

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