RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth.

RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (Full Version)

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Aderious -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/6/2011 2:54:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Endivius The common denominator in your woes is you, but I suspect that never crossed your mind. Such an easy claim for you to make, yet how wrong you are. What you speak is horseshit. I've talked with many other doms and spent time reading journals and I know for a fact that, contrary to the BS spewed on these boards, there are hundreds of guys in the same situation as me. White doms, black doms, older doms, they're all having the same experience. It is most definitely NOT me. It is the fucking site. It is impossible for it to be me when 99/100 females do not even read my messages and I get 2 female profile visits per month, if that. It's not me. It's not me. It's not me. It's never been me. It's always been the site and this hypothesis was empirically tested and confirmed. It is now a settled issue, no longer open for debate, It's not me, it's the site. Case closed. Not a single person on this board is capable of creating a profile that will generate responses from my target demographic. You all give advice yet you speak out of your ass.That's the other thing, OP. Don't listen to the fools who post here. They like to pretend that attracting 250 lb., 50 year old female subs is no different than getting with hot 18 year old girls. They'll also tell you that putting real photos in your profile is indicative of a bad profile. Apparently it's better to have stock photos of swans, flowers, rocks, clocks and other things which don't have anything to do with BDSM. In other words, they have their heads buried far up their asses. That's what happens when you just stop caring and let yourself go. Don't listen to them, OP. They'll feed you mountains of BS. None of it works. Their advice is crap. Believe me, I tried it.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/6/2011 2:57:04 PM)
Okay, THAT was a funny post!

NocturnalStalker -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/6/2011 4:18:39 PM)
quote: Not a single person on this board is capable of creating a profile that will generate responses from my target demographic. Wrong.

kalikshama -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/6/2011 5:15:00 PM)
Almost two months ago I suggested you go to a Boston TNG - have you tried that yet? There's one in Somerville Sunday - https://fetlife.com/events/72379

Madame4a -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/6/2011 6:28:16 PM)
Ok.. I read most of it.. I tried really really hard... here's what I saw... you're unemployed whiney no prospects hardly dominant or independent certainly not in control of your own life you sound like you're awful to be around I can't see in any place that you might be intelligent so I'll assume you're not you live with your parents (?) not sure about that several health issues you're not dealing with you seem to be lazy oh yes, and again, you're whiney you want stuff handed to you now, why can't you find a partner? and why are your parents moving to Hawaii? I'm guessing, if possible, they will not leave a forwarding address yep, I'm a bitch... calling it the way I see it, from what you've written here

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/6/2011 6:43:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aderious I have living accommodations, I can pay for relocation....think any of it matters? Not in the slightest. Trollololol? You have lots to offer and girls still don't want you? I'm sure there's a significant reason for that mister positive.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/6/2011 9:56:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet Not sure what minimum wage is, but let's say 10 bucks an hour, net after taxes 8. Not even close. Federally it's $7.25. By state, the highest is Washington state at $8.67 per hour. Go figure. But most states hover around the federal minimum. The minimum wage in Hawai`i is the same as the federal wage. A person wouldn't have a prayer of living decently on that sort of wage, which is why there are so many people living in tents on the beach. The minimum wage is supposed to be posted in an area accessible by all employees at the workplace. Here ya go.

Mr4sg -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 5:23:08 AM)
Im not from the USA, as a fairly large group of repliers sofar are. Basicly, OP, you are about to reach the same conclusions as your grandparents and their parents did in the 1910-1920 era. (wait, wasnt there a big depression that basically ruined the financial lives of many many people? The answer to that is ofcourse to tell everyone to go F*** themselves and get a job!!). The truth is that in certain countries, there are more people than there are jobs. Any job. That has certain consequences. Having an education is no longer a garantee of a good job. Or of having any job at all. So if you want to get more education from college, make sure you pick something that will return the money you put into it. Voice acting is nice for a hobby, but it wont pay your bills. Focus on something on the side. The whole world is telling you "its your own damn fault" and more of the same that isnt going to help you. You need to find someone you trust and get a serious talk about how to continue with your life. Speak of your dreams, set you goals in a realistic manner and go for it. This is the exact moment to do that. You have no ties holding you down. Also remember you are the owner of your own actions and inactions. You cant change how other people behave. You can change your own behaviour. As for finding a sub: Women are weird and fickle creatures. One thing I do know, whether you are broke, overweight and feel down the drain or are a good looking, financial well off guy going places (like me), it makes no difference in matters of the heart. Love is blind you know. Work on the things you need to work on, go out meeting people, be part of society and get to know other people. One day she will walk into your life. As for the other posters: No matter whether you think someone else needs a kick under his ass, it is not your place to provide it. It is not upon you to judge.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 6:26:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mr4sg No matter whether you think someone else needs a kick under his ass, it is not your place to provide it. It is not upon you to judge. Actually, I disagree with this. I try to be one of the more gentle posters on the boards. I don't usually give people kicks in the butt. However, if someone comes on a public forum and posts a question, then they have opened their self up to whatever responses they get, positive or negative. The boards are diverse enough that any given post will usually get a mixture of positive and negative replies. Usually, the "right" answer will be an amalgam of the positive and negative. It's typically not the pollyanna answer, nor the apocalyptic answer. But frankly, sometimes a swift kick in the rear end IS a better solution than coddling. Not always, but sometimes.

Mr4sg -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 7:21:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: Mr4sg No matter whether you think someone else needs a kick under his ass, it is not your place to provide it. It is not upon you to judge. Actually, I disagree with this. I try to be one of the more gentle posters on the boards. I don't usually give people kicks in the butt. However, if someone comes on a public forum and posts a question, then they have opened their self up to whatever responses they get, positive or negative. The boards are diverse enough that any given post will usually get a mixture of positive and negative replies. Usually, the "right" answer will be an amalgam of the positive and negative. It's typically not the pollyanna answer, nor the apocalyptic answer. But frankly, sometimes a swift kick in the rear end IS a better solution than coddling. Not always, but sometimes. Besides the "hollier than thou art" smell, kicking someone never works to teach them. It only cultivates resentment. If you spend your life kicking everyone around you, it does greatly impact upon how others perceive you. People that dwell offside the roads of life dont need kicking. Life already kicked them over their capacity to handle. They need teaching and a guiding hand back. Whether they accept that or not, is up to them.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 7:43:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mr4sg Besides the "hollier than thou art" smell, kicking someone never works to teach them. ........People that dwell offside the roads of life dont need kicking. Life already kicked them over their capacity to handle. They need teaching and a guiding hand back. Whether they accept that or not, is up to them. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. I can see many instances where your view would be absolutely right. But What happens when they don't accept your "guiding hand"? Someday, lets meet for beers, and I'll tell you a story about a 24 year old son who eats all of the food in the refrigerator, refuses to go to college or get a job, and spends all day playing video games. Perhaps "life already kicked him over his capacity to handle". But the behavior just seemed lazy to me. And by allowing it, I was further contributing to the problem. I (or rather, his mom) was being an enabler. So I decided that "tough love" was the best answer, and I delivered a swift kick. I told him that he could either find a job and get a place of his own, or he could move into a homeless shelter and continue to play video games all day. Either way, the choice was his, but he had 90 days to make the decision, or I was going to make it for him. Amazingly, the lazy brat now has his own place and is meaningfully employed. Imagine that. When I read the OP, that's the perspective that I read it from. I relate more to his parents' position than I do the OP's. I assume that the parents finally got tired of enabling a grown man to act like an irresponsible child, and said "Enough is enough!" I could be wrong. But that's the way I read the OP's tale. So IMO, a swift kick may be what he needs. Although I do agree with you that the people on this board may not be the best ones to deliver the kick. But the OP did come here and air his dirty laundry, so he's fair game for anyone who wants to reply.

Mr4sg -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 8:37:35 AM)
The difference is that, in your story, you are the parent and thus were justified in the swift kick tactics. I dont say that some people wouldnt benefit from a kick, I say its not up to us to provide it. Perhaps indeed we can agree to disagree.

littlewonder -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 8:47:43 AM)
I can think of quite a few times where Master, my family, friends and even my daughter have given me a swift kick in the pants to get me to do what I needed to do. Sure I resented them for a little while but after sitting down and actually thinking about it I knew they were right. Imo a lot of people could use one of those and I'm more than willing to tell someone that if need be. This idea that we should be gentle and all feely touchy is just not going to work after you try to be gentle time after time and the person still just doesn't get it. Imo when we feel angry over someone being so "insulting" to you it's our ego getting in the way. Get over the ego and get doing.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 9:08:10 AM)
Kicking someone and 'tough love' are different things. An insult, degredation w/e those do no good, but a strong dose of reality does. Sometimes cold hard truth is what someone needs to really realize they've been delluding themselves. I am not fond of insults, but if I'm being a prat, I expect someone to call me a prat. Likewise if someone's acting like a twat, I'll tell them so, and THEN offer ways to improve their situation. That's the key difference. When someone comes asking for advice, you give it to them. It's up to them to use it or not, we're not here to 'sell' them on it, or sugar coat it, we're not selling him a car. Truth is often bitter, but in my perspective, always preferable to a soft comforting half truth or lie.

wandersalone -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 12:52:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wolvenreign Well, anyway, I'm not going to be around to post for a while, so I'll catch you all later! It's been beautiful, really. Heya OP, I came to this late but hope you will be coming back to the thread at some stage. I am a little confused - are you already in constant pain from your teeth or is that something that may/will happen in the future? If in the future, have you been given some sort of time frame? I have crap teeth due to my mum needing a lot of heavy duty medication while pregnant with me and have spent most of my life in pain so can empathise. A reason why people are possibly getting frustrated is that in your posts, you have given a lot of barriers and have mentioned many times that you have tried things, but haven't really been clear about what exactly you have been doing to make changes in your life. For example - how many jobs do you currently apply for a week? How many have you applied for in the last month? You mentioned working from 14 - 19 - was that for your dads company or in other places as well? How often do you go to the gym? Is this coupled with a healthy eating program? You mentioned isolation which lead to the weight gain. Have you ever had counseling to address this as well as your many frustrations with your life? What do you have to offer a submissive as a dominant? Not financially but what are the other things you would bring to a D/s relationship. have you had romantic relationships before? Have they been successful? How did you meet your partners? have you done any labour market research on how realistic obtaining voice over work would be? eg. look at the number of job ads for this over a period of weeks or more likely months. Same question but in regards to the internet marketing thing? How realistic is it that you will make money from this? It kind of sounds like all of the people who want to be actors or singers or directors. These are very highly sought after jobs and the reality is that there are actually very few people who get paid work, we only hear about the success stories. have you thought of doing volunteer work for a radio station to get some practical experience? What types of jobs have you been applying for? Memory issues? Do you carry a notebook around to help you remember things? Is it possible that your inability to garner any interest from female submissives is not only that you are searching in a very limited medium (the internet) and you seem to have already written off real life events based on the few you have been to but that you actually are not in the life space or headspace to dominate someone? CM is notorious for the number of threads from males bemoaning the fact that their profile rarely gets viewed and their messages are deleted unread. I do and have known a number of young males your age who have been in successful D/s relationships. I know all of them from real life events. Yes they are in the minority but they do exist. I don't understand the connection you were making in your original post about vanilla relationships and trust. A lot of relationship things are similar to kinksters and the dreaded vanilla alike eg. communication, trust, honesty, respect. The other person has to be someone I can be proud of and respect. Are you proud of yourself? How do you fill in your days besides going to the gym? You mentioned that you can't really travel, what does that mean?

Aderious -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 1:35:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds quote: ORIGINAL: Aderious I have living accommodations, I can pay for relocation....think any of it matters? Not in the slightest. Trollololol? You have lots to offer and girls still don't want you? I'm sure there's a significant reason for that mister positive. Yeah, they never look at my profile or read the polite, courteous messages I send to them. Hence they don't know I exist. That's a pretty significant reason, if you ask me. And that is exactly what's wrong with this site. You could be the best Dom in the world and no sub would ever find out because the only people who click on male Dom profiles are gay men, and female subs do not respond to messages 99% of the time. It is a joke.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 1:37:58 PM)
Aderious, you do know we can read our email without opening it right? Maybe they ARE reading it but just aren't interested. Or, you are going to their bulk mail because they have blocked (pick one) people in your area, your age, your orientation, etc...

Aderious -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 1:39:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx Aderious, you do know we can read our email without opening it right? Maybe they ARE reading it but just aren't interested. Or, you are going to their bulk mail because they have blocked (pick one) people in your area, your age, your orientation, etc... If your mail gets sent to bulk the system tells you. That doesn't happen very often with the girls I message. More often my messages are simply deleted unread or even read and ignored. Doubt it, the easiest way to look at profiles is the same way that informs the profile holder of his visitors.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 1:44:15 PM)
We can read your mail without opening it. You would never know.

crazyml -> RE: Should I stop searching? A question of youth. (10/7/2011 3:00:57 PM)
Wait a second? You're in Boston, right?

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