CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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OP, I will answer your questions, as well as make comments on the posts of others but first I need to toss in my two cents about marrieds. If a wife doesn't know and hasn't set limits on playtime...I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. Part of your problem might not be your submission, but have a very vanilla answer instead; some women don't want to be some man's dirty little secret. They want to be a priority in his life instead of...just hanging on for crumbs, and being there for him with emotional bandaids every time he and his wife have problems.
I have never had a relationship with a married man, but I've had female friends who cried on my shoulder, especially around birthdays and Christmas when they were all alone and he was with his family. Enough said.
"Are Women attracted to submissive men?" Depends by what you mean by submissive. If he has given up on life and doesn't care about anything, and will merely go along with it if some woman chases him down and corners him into a relationship...Hell no. If he doesn't know how to stand up for himself and submits to everyone...Hell no. Let's not confuse male subs with doormats or wimps...no wimp could handle being on the receiving end of my viper tipped rubber flogger.
For us, Dominance/submission involves having a very close bond based on intense trust, where his submission to me feeds both of us and makes us stronger somehow. Basically, when he says "As you wish" he is also telling me that he loves me and would trust me with his life. Also, his genuine submission forces me to trust him as much as I trust my own arm. He is also my knight and would literally fight for me, and I have to respect that his manhood and submissive feelings require him to feel protective over my wellbeing, and if necessary, step into the role of daddying me if I were seriously ill or just needed this from him. With the panic attacks I have, yes, this comes into it often enough. We have found that he is better for me than medicine...when I feel my brain cranking up chemicals for a panic attack, I tell him "Come here, give me your chest, rub my hair" and his caretaking doesn't make him any less submissive to me. Is it hawt to be able to trust someone this deeply? YES!
My sub will be whatever I need him to be, this takes amazing strength from a person...to step up to the plate and be willing and capable of handling anything life throws at us.
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Are the Dominant Women on CM attracted to submisive men when it comes to having just plain old sex, or would You prefer to have a non-submisive guy for that?
LOL. I gave up vanilla sex for years because I had lost interest in men who insisted on doing everything THEIR way. Or with guys who had their egoes badly damaged if I asked if we could try something a little different, like deep shallow thrusting instead of...what they thought they were entitled to do. Left tit, right tit, IN! Oh please  . Guys giving oral by using their tongue to f*ck my vagina instead of licking/sucking my clit... These same guys would pout and throw tantrums like spoiled toddlers if I wanted to use a vibe on my clit to cum several times before having sex with them, or if I dared to try to write any of the script. Here's a clue to why I like submissive males...THEY TAKE DIRECTIONS.
Mine gets off on doing what I ask, even if I get all the orgasms and he gets none that night...nor that weekend. Pleasing me gives him a boner, and our love life doesn't revolve around worshipping the moments his dick decides to get hard. (He's cute walking around all hard and helpless like that.)
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And is that why cuckolding is popular with dominant Womwn and why Dommes often reserve the right to have other men then their subs. Non-sub men are for sex and sub man are for doing what you say, playing with, spanking and suffering for Your pleasure.
I see a lot more men with this fantasy than women. In the past eight years I have never known a woman who was into cuckolding, but have known thousands of men who pleaded for this. It is not my kink though; nothing about it turns me on. I'm the one-on-one sort and my sub would die inside if I even took a second sub...adding a third into our relationship is a hard limit for both of us. He was married three times and all three wives cheated on him, one with his best friend and another with his brother-in-law; he has been there, done that, without his consent and I feel it would destroy his soul to endure it again...so even if something happened to him and he couldn't "get it up" anymore and offered to endure letting me get my groove on with someone else...I would tell him Hell no. It would not be good for US, as he is a part of me because he is my property and it would harm him.
I can understand that some men want to be cuckolded and the many reasons, feelings, whatever they enjoy from it, but...unless a woman is a serious swinger...this could get exhausting having that revolving door on the bedroom keep swirling around, getting medical checkups, ensuring that the sub/slave stays the primary relationship and that sex with other males doesn't compromise this. I am not condemning this kink, but darn...it sure sounds complicated and exhausting to me. Too much hard work, especially for those of us who are not into casual sex.
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If i lied about why i was here like half of CM, would you have responded then. I will get rid of that part of my profile if it makes you happy.
So...if Lockit told you it would make her happy if you told your wife what you are doing behind her back...you'd do that too? LOL, come on and get real. You removed it because you knew by our reactions it would lessen your chances of finding a play partner here. I will concede the point you made about half the people here at CM (at least those who keep to the chatrooms and mailroom, and rarely wander over here into the message boards) are likely married and cheating. Think for a moment where the fault lies. Without CM, these same people would be cruising bars, or checking out their wife's closest friends.
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And why is everyone so hostile against me?
I feel no hostility towards you, personally. If you cannot see the point, why many have issues with your cheating on your wife (are you really never going to do this in r/t?) then our morals are polar opposite from your own. What I do involves deep trust...even cybering with some guy on the internet behind my sub's back would be violating his trust and an act of betrayal. This cuts both ways and I would consider it akin to committing adultery...if he even cybered with someone without my prior consent.
Look. I've had friends who were poly, and others who had open marriages and were into swinging...and with each friend their rules spelled out that both of them knew about every potential partner in advance...and had veto power concerning any potential partner their spouse was considering. To help me understand, they told me to get a book called The Ethical Slut.
*****
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ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
It's like a truly competent horseman (or woman). If given the choice between riding a gentle 16 year old gelding and a barely broken young stallion guess which they'll choose?
Grinning real big here. Yeah...  Sometimes I can barely stay in the saddle, but wow what a ride.
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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Well, OK, up to a point. I don't suppose every femdom fantasises about getting the Incredible Hulk to submit to her. Or would they??
Gawd Peon, you've done it again. Made me think this through. 
 I cannot freaking believe this, but yes, I did have some dreams that made HP fan friends of mine squawk and splutter with indignation. They saw Prof. Snape as Domly and yet...so okay I saw him as a sub and lusted to collar him.
On several levels that count in a hawt way... I did. My sub reminds me of Prof. Snape.  (His hair even gets very greasy within an hour of shampooing it, lol.)
< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 10/17/2011 7:17:36 PM >
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RE: Are Women attracted to submisive men? - 
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