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No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 12:47:06 PM

AzPetGirl

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline

Just wondering if any of the Dom's on here use "kissing restriction/denial"
with their subs?
I would assume this has something to do with the depth of the relationship (i.e....married d/s folks probably don't observe this restriction as much?)

I'm just curious because I had a Dom who was VERY harsh with me, and rarely if ever kissed me,
even when we first met, just to give him a "peck" hello...his response was,
"nahhh nahh...that comes later" but he never wanted to kiss me, not in the "normal" way.
Maybe kissed me twice through my whole time knowing him, which was over a year.
made me sad :(
I assume it's just part of the whole control thing....at least maybe for that particular guy.

but I enjoy being kissed dammit! Lol
Is this something alot of dom's restrict by way of punishment//control with their subs?

Post #: 1

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 12:53:16 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Ive never heard about it ...

but .. ummm....

Ive been in relationships before .. where in the beginning, when I was really into the guy - I loved to kiss (wicked intamate/much more so than fucking)
then ..
as the relationship waned for whatever reason and I wasnt into him as much .. I really didnt want to kiss him anymore.
Usually a very BAD sign ...

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Post #: 2

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:13:26 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I've seen this with people that had issues with being intimate on an emotional level, for whatever reasons. Typically not good ones as far as I was concerned.

I always told the men I was with... when I don't want to talk or kiss you... its over. Until then I kiss and talk until blue in the face sometimes, but when I stop either... bye bye.

Lots of people can fuck... if they don't kiss... something is wrong in my opinion.

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Post #: 3

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:22:03 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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maybe he was the sort of guy who felt that being loving and affectionate toward and s-person would inhibit his ability to whack on her and boss her around. some people are like that. love becomes a hindrance, so they choose to avoid showing any meaningful kind of affection.

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Post #: 4

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:23:19 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Nothing to do with being a Dom. He just didn't like to kiss.

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Post #: 5

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:25:43 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

I have nothing against showing affection or tenderness, I can kiss (fairly well from what I hear), but I really don't enjoy kissing that much. Just not my thing. Don't necessarily HATE it, but, I'd rather not. Perhaps that's all it is with him.

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Post #: 6

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:38:15 PM

orchid77

Posts: 125
Joined: 5/20/2011
Status: offline

Sounds like a pimp or player. Plenty of them like to keep the romance out of the relationship. I could be wrong though and he could simply not want to be kissed because it makes him turn emotional quicker. Did you ask him?

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 7

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:45:56 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

I agree with Lockit. Usually there is some sort of problem with intimacy when kissing is not wanted with a partner. The only person I knew who had kissing as a limit felt kissing was akin to love and committment and those were things she was not looking for at the time. When her Dom tied her up and kissed her she broke off the relationship as she felt betrayed. She was pretty messed up afterward as the kissing caused her to love the Dom, yet she was afraid to be with him for fear he might kiss her again. After the incident kissing changed from a soft limit to a hard limit and she preferred it that way.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 8

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:47:25 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I've seen this with people that had issues with being intimate on an emotional level, for whatever reasons. Typically not good ones as far as I was concerned.

I always told the men I was with... when I don't want to talk or kiss you... its over. Until then I kiss and talk until blue in the face sometimes, but when I stop either... bye bye.

Lots of people can fuck... if they don't kiss... something is wrong in my opinion.

I totally agree with the above. If someone doesn't want to give you face time, they are just not that into you, or have issues with intimacy, or both.

Kissing to me can be more personal and intimate than intercourse. You can easily fuck someone w/o dealing with who they are or even looking at them. To me, kissing says you are willing to deal with who the other person actually is (as opposed to being a handy receptacle or organ).

Faces are, to a huge extent in my mind, physical extensions of who we really are. Our character is in our face, there is wisdom in our wrinkles, humor in our laugh lines. Many may disagree with me, but I think who we are and how we have lived our lives is written in our faces.

So if someone doesn't want to give me face time, they is a serious limit as to how intimate I can get.

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Post #: 9

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:50:32 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I agree with Lockit. Usually there is some sort of problem with intimacy when kissing is not wanted with a partner. The only person I knew who had kissing as a limit felt kissing was akin to love and committment and those were things she was not looking for at the time. When her Dom tied her up and kissed her she broke off the relationship as she felt betrayed. She was pretty messed up afterward as the kissing caused her to love the Dom, yet she was afraid to be with him for fear he might kiss her again. After the incident kissing changed from a soft limit to a hard limit and she preferred it that way.

The concept of not kissing always makes me think of the movie, "Pretty Woman." Julia Roberts wouldn't kiss the johns because that was a "relationship" thing. Everything went to hell in a handbasket for her life as a hooker when she kissed Richard Gere.

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 10

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 1:57:47 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

maybe you have halitosis?

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Post #: 11

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 2:36:25 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

I can take or leave kissing on the mouth but I still need to plant my lips somewhere on the face or that's a dead turn off for me. If I can't be affectionate often then it's not a relationship I care to be in.

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 12

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 2:59:20 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Some times, for some folks, kissing is the difference between a romantic or nonromatic relationship. Some like their D/s t be separated from that kind of relationship.

Doesn't work for me... have had people tell me they don't kiss... and frankly, either the relationship hasn't lasted or they've learned to enjoy it.

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Post #: 13

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 3:02:37 PM

Cuffkinks

Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline

I like kissing, and I'm pretty good at it.

Kissing can be tender and loving, totally animalistic, or any combination of the two. Both have their place.

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Post #: 14

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 3:46:25 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I'm shy about kissing him. Probably because when we first got together, he was...different about it. Now he incorporates it into my "training". *Yum*

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Post #: 15

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 4:07:17 PM

HisPet21

Posts: 395
Status: offline

quote:

Faces are, to a huge extent in my mind, physical extensions of who we really are. Our character is in our face, there is wisdom in our wrinkles, humor in our laugh lines. Many may disagree with me, but I think who we are and how we have lived our lives is written in our faces.

That's really very beautiful.

To the OP, my partner has occasionally refused to kiss me for a half hour or so before. Mostly, he does this because I absolutely LOVE his kisses...they are the absolute best...and his kisses are one of the few things I convincingly and genuine beg for. But in the end, I always get my kiss and he has never denied me for anymore than, like, and hour and only does so in fun. I'd be devastated if he never kissed me passionately and it'd probably end the relationship. Your dom could have denied you this kind of affection for a lot of reasons: He doesn't like kissing, he didn't want to fall in love, he wanted to distance himself so he'd have the heart to dominate you, his "pecks" were passionate to him. IDK. We'll never know unless he tells us but generally speaking, it isn't common to use kiss withdrawal as a way to tame your sub. At least, not that I've heard.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 16

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 4:10:20 PM

HoustonMaster47

Posts: 20
Joined: 9/27/2011
Status: offline

A few are rarely kissed, because they need a strict form of D/s that doesn't work with a romantic relationship. Trying to put that as nicely as I can. But before all is done, my best girls will be kissed head to toe, every square inch, and the favorite square inches many times over. Usually we are all over each other on the first meeting and it takes many real time sessions just to to settle down enough for some actual BDSM training. If you are the type of girl who needs to be kissed, he should know that before the first meeting. If he is the type that doesn't kiss his subs, you should know that as well. I've been doing this for decades, I still enjoy that first kiss, when appropriate

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Post #: 17

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 4:17:57 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AzPetGirl

Just wondering if any of the Dom's on here use "kissing restriction/denial"
with their subs?
I would assume this has something to do with the depth of the relationship (i.e....married d/s folks probably don't observe this restriction as much?)

I'm just curious because I had a Dom who was VERY harsh with me, and rarely if ever kissed me,
even when we first met, just to give him a "peck" hello...his response was,
"nahhh nahh...that comes later" but he never wanted to kiss me, not in the "normal" way.
Maybe kissed me twice through my whole time knowing him, which was over a year.
made me sad :(
I assume it's just part of the whole control thing....at least maybe for that particular guy.

but I enjoy being kissed dammit! Lol
Is this something alot of dom's restrict by way of punishment//control with their subs?

Some men/women like to kiss. Some even feel that it's necessary.
Others, it is not of much importance.

Unlike the thinking of others, I don't find that those who refrain from kissing, are lacking in commitment, or having intimacy issues.

It's just the way it is. Some like kissing. Some don't. If YOU like kissing, instead of complaining about the ONE who did not like it, perhaps you can instead think of those who DID.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to AzPetGirl)

Post #: 18

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 5:35:49 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Some men/women like to kiss. Some even feel that it's necessary.
Others, it is not of much importance.

Unlike the thinking of others, I don't find that those who refrain from kissing, are lacking in commitment, or having intimacy issues.

It's just the way it is. Some like kissing. Some don't. If YOU like kissing, instead of complaining about the ONE who did not like it, perhaps you can instead think of those who DID.

Totally agreed. To me, it's like any other physical act. Just because someone doesn't enjoy it, doesn't mean there's something wrong or incomplete or lacking. It means they don't like it. Simple. As. That. To judge someone to that degree based simply on their enjoyment - or not - of kissing is stretching it a bit much in my personal opinion. It's simply not that important to me........luci

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Post #: 19

RE: No Kissing Allowed? - 10/9/2011 5:50:59 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

Thank god, Luci, Irish... someone else in here making sense. Some people, like myself, just don't care for it. No different than not caring for brussel sprouts or pistachio ice cream (both of which I DO like, by the way). Doesn't mean something is wrong with them, doesn't mean they have commitment or intimacy issues, doesn't mean they're a player or a cruel dom. Just means they don't freakin' like it.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 20

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