THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (Full Version)

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dogobedience -> THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 12:55:43 PM)

Ok my profile is average, my many pics to prove am not cyber and that is all.

NOW, please help me with the perfect profile.The one that all girls MUST WANT TO MEET.

I will start with this (oh remember miss spelling is inpatient)  , 
I am 35 years old  43 years of experience. I am a grand PUBA to the 9th level. My mommy beat me as a boy, and I need to take this out on girls to make me happy. my daddy used me and shared me with the neighbors daily. I need a slut just i was treated like. i am available today, i can only borrow my daddies belt for today. I have no phone, no im, and can meet you NOW!!and you will drop to your knees NOW even while reading this and begin to worship my small winnie...... 

Ok, please help me, I know WE can build the perfect profile......come on girls I know you read them daily .......share .......and laugh even IF it is at my expense........enjoy the joy of life and BDSM.....



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:03:03 PM)

i an a xpert, I can spell DBMS, ops BDSM so you know I must be real. 



akisha -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:05:04 PM)

Tiger, You are just too wierd sometimes lol



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:06:39 PM)

Thank you....I enjoy life, I hope everybody does!



quietdedition -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:08:28 PM)

Too funny...



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:10:50 PM)

help please, new girls are waiting to apply ......help, more lines!!!!



lisa1978 -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:17:08 PM)

LOL!

You forgot to insist on being called SirMasterLord when a woman writes you back and to insist they deactivate their profile as soon as they write you.



Arpig -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:17:54 PM)

the perfect profile...get Crayydom's help...he writes a mean "perfect profile", but then again he had the training from the 12th order [;)]



KatyLied -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:18:50 PM)

quote:

my many pics to prove am not cyber and that is all.


?

People with pics can be as fake as people without pics......just saying.

damn I can't type today



TNstepsout -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:23:24 PM)

I have an incredible Domly glare that will send you to your knees (see pic if you don't believe)

I take EVERYTHING seriously and you should too. Especially myself.  But there is always room for humor. In fact as my slave you will be required to laugh on a daily basis. Failure to do so will result in swift severe punishment.

You will be required to do ALL housework, yardwork, pay bills, do the shopping, wait on me hand and foot, fulfill my every need and work full time to pay your way (no slackers in this household) AND look your best at all times. High heels and skirt mandatory!

I take good care of my slaves. You'll have fresh shavings in your cage daily. Of course you'll have to put them there as part of your daily chores.

You'll be ready to take my enormous manly member in any orifice at any time of night or day. (it really is enormous-see pic if you don't believe)





Sunshine119 -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:24:29 PM)

You must instist upon being a Dominate (instead of a Dominant) that seeks only full time "subbies" who will take care of all your needs while working outside of the home to pay the bills (You don't think the dominant should work, should you?).  Knowing how to fix a car is a plus.



KatyLied -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:28:22 PM)

For simplicity's sake, I make this recommendation for your profile, the following one-liner (because we know how much everyone loves on-liner profiles!).

Me:  dog owner
You:  obedient

[8D]



SweetSarijane -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 1:40:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lisa1978

LOL!

You forgot to insist on being called SirMasterLord when a woman writes you back and to insist they deactivate their profile as soon as they write you.


I thought it was SirMasterLordDomlyDomofPerfection  [8D]



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 2:06:25 PM)

lisa1978..did you get permission to reply!!??, bad girl..........GREAT LINE ..........lol



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 2:33:44 PM)

Ok my pics always have a slave in them that I am using, MY face and a property.It simply shows I do as I say., simply read my posts, however agreed MANY  PICS ARE FAKE!, but not mine!!!!!!!.........but it does not show ability..look into the girls eyes and see that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 2:35:57 PM)

KatyLied...........good line(s)



jezabelKH -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 2:36:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

I will start with this (oh remember miss spelling is inpatient)  , 
I am 35 years old  43 years of experience. I am a grand PUBA to the 9th level. My mommy beat me as a boy, and I need to take this out on girls to make me happy. my daddy used me and shared me with the neighbors daily. I need a slut just i was treated like. i am available today, i can only borrow my daddies belt for today. I have no phone, no im, and can meet you NOW!!and you will drop to your knees NOW even while reading this and begin to worship my small winnie...... 



Tiger,

this is way too funny for words.

jezabelKH



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 2:38:30 PM)

tanks..............on now I also need a pic......do I stand near MY GV Gulfstream Jet, or should I be inside with ALL my girls



dogobedience -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 2:42:58 PM)

TNstepsout.........you wrote it JUST like I told you to do.

Now BACK into the cage!! STAY!!!!!!!!GOOD GIRL!!!



sweetnessforsir -> RE: THE PERFECT PROFILE, and other jokes! (5/24/2006 3:00:08 PM)

Be sure to include a line about the use of a cam.  That it will be demanded immediately, and that she is expected to be naked and kneeling when it goes on. 

s.



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