RE: Does Dominance Imply Order?

RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

kalikshama -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 10:48:32 AM)
quote: When I think of someone dominant, I think of someone in control of their life, their environment and all the things that go along with it. (As much as can reasonably be expected. I do expect everyone to be human and flawed...even dominants!) By this standard, would you consider someone not in control of his/her weight issues not truly dominant? /runs and hides/ [sm=couch.gif]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 11:35:26 AM)
Thank you, Kalikshama!! Can I toss those who can't quit SMOKING onto the pyre as well? [8D]

HannahLynn -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 11:38:14 AM)
and what about those who just plain don't want to fucking quit smoking? i mean succumbing to the fucking public and peer pressure to quit sounds an awful lot like submitting to me.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 11:40:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynn and what about those who just plain don't want to fucking quit smoking? i mean succumbing to the fucking public and peer pressure to quit sounds an awful lot like submitting to me. HEEEEE!! Me, I wish every one of my friends would quit smoking because it is REALLY BAD FOR YOU. But after having quit nearly 30 years ago, I still have the desire for a smoke sometimes, so I understand the desire. Me and my dad both quit cold turkey, at different times. Damn, I could do with a Clove right now.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 12:11:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: When I think of someone dominant, I think of someone in control of their life, their environment and all the things that go along with it. (As much as can reasonably be expected. I do expect everyone to be human and flawed...even dominants!) By this standard, would you consider someone not in control of his/her weight issues not truly dominant? /runs and hides/ [sm=couch.gif] Uhm. I'll let the masochistic bald guy in aisle one ask those questions.

DesFIP -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 1:45:14 PM)
He's got paperwork relating to his business everywhere. Beyond that, there's stuff that needs to go to the Salvation Army that I need someone to carry for me. There's boxes of books that need to go to the library for their spring sale, someone else needs to carry. And we have a collection of metal to go to the recycler as well as a pile of junk waiting to go to the dump. The major reason why is not because he's too disorganized but because he's too busy to do the car repairs needed to do the rest of it. Come winter when his business slows down, everything will get done. And trees under the power line will be downed. Until then stuff just has to wait.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 3:07:02 PM)
Dominance does not imply order anymore than being submissive implies chaos. or... What if the dom person likes chaos. What if they like clutter. What if having certain things in places "normal" folks wouldn't put them makes them feel better. Many creative people do things in a manner others wouldn't but many of those creative people are in control of things.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 4:49:09 PM)
I haven't read all the rest of the thread but I just want to say that your version of order and tranquility isn't the same as everyones... you don't like mess, some people do. Has nothing to do with being out of control

mizuki7uchiha -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 5:02:05 PM)
I would like to point out that the question was does dominance imply order not does dominance imply a clean house. See a person can have their life in order and have a not so clean house. Having a clean house does not correlate to order. To me a dominance does imply order because without order a dominant cannot have a submissive.

slaveluci -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 6:41:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain Dominance does not imply order anymore than being submissive implies chaos. or... What if the dom person likes chaos. What if they like clutter. What if having certain things in places "normal" folks wouldn't put them makes them feel better. Many creative people do things in a manner others wouldn't but many of those creative people are in control of things. You took the words right out of my mouth, MissImmortalPain[:)] I am submissive and am a very organized person who detests clutter. Master is dominant and creates clutter wherever He goes. Even though He isn't "organized" as far as my standard, He knows where His things are the same as I do. He allows me to straighten and organize to a point and then it's a bother to Him. He puts things in piles but He knows what's in each pile and kinda wants it left that way. This doesn't mean He's not in control of things. As a matter of fact, He's very in control. Being "orderly" is just one of a million traits. It has zero connection to dominance in this household..........luci

Hisprettybaby -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 7:01:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx When I think of someone dominant, I think of someone in control of their life, their environment and all the things that go along with it. (As much as can reasonably be expected. I do expect everyone to be human and flawed...even dominants!) quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx If their home environment isn't at least tidy, do you wonder about their ability to control other things in their life including you? Of course, I guess an organizational sub could come in very handy for a dom who has problems keeping track of stuff like that (like I do) I know this thread will piss some people off, but almost every thread upsets someone, so...I guess I'll just go ahead and ask. (because I'm curious!) When I met Daddy, it was awhile before I saw his apartment. When I did, I just about died because it was one of the dirtiest, most disorganized places I'd ever seen in my life. The next time I went back there, I brought all my cleaning stuff with me. I had no idea by his person that his place was just a mess. Now he's on the lease at my place and we live together and he & I have an understanding....it will NEVER F'ing EVER get in that condition again and we will BOTH work on it.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 7:01:16 PM)
Thank you all for your input. I appreciate it, and will be thinking this over. [:D]

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/21/2011 7:58:08 PM)
Does dominance imply order? One might assume the two are connected, or WANT the two to be connected, but I don't immediately think of someone who wants to control/lead, as being orderly by default. There is clear seperation between desire, and practiced action. I think being orderly, helps a D-type feel more in control, but it's a seperate skillset they have to develop, if they do it will enhance their control over their life/others/ect. If they don't, they might find themselves thwarted a great deal or frustrated in their efforts to obtain mastery or control of people and situations.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/22/2011 3:28:14 AM)
Thank you Prolific. That was interesting. [:)]

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/22/2011 6:07:25 AM)
But everyone's functional idea of orderly is different. If you know where everything is in your own space you are in control of your own space. Dominants, to me, are people who are comfortable defining their own standards, not necessarily feeling like they have to follow someone else's. "Order" is more subjective than you want it to be.

agirl -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/22/2011 6:07:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RexDarcy I hate clutter and messes. Even when I'm the only one here, things have to be clean. If a person keeps their place clean, keeping it that way doesn't take a great deal of time or effort. I haven't read the whole thread.......... But clutter and mess has little to do with cleanliness. Tidiness and cleanlines are two different things. My son's room is a pickle to MY eyes, but it's clean. I always knock before entering and I never nag about the state of his room because HE knows where everything is, completes all college work on time, is never behind on assignments and is top of his class. If he can run his life efficiently then how can I grumble about the mess? It's not messy to HIM, it's stuff where I want it for now.He can have his room go from nuclear disaster to pristine in 30 mins. Which still astounds me at times. I wish I could do that. M isn't tidy, his mind is razor-like organised though with the things that matter. Tidiness is a detail that can always be sorted out when there's the time. Cleanliness is a general ongoing task, like background music. I can't operate in a clutter, I'm super organised on the clutter level .......but I'm not in the things that matter level in the way M is. I spend too much time faffing around tying up tidiness....it's not particularly beneficial. I'd achieve a lot more if I could curb it and just fucking move right onto the things that matter and that achieve a different kind of satisfaction. I get there, I just waste too much time getting there. It pisses me off. I've never thought about dominance as having anything to do with being tidy because all the rather super men I've known can never find their car-keys. agirl I

fragilepieces -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/22/2011 7:37:03 AM)
quote: If their home environment isn't at least tidy, do you wonder about their ability to control other things in their life including you? I never really thought about it. I guess if it were gross like moldy dishes in the sink with flies buzzing around, or walking on the floor barefoot and your feet turning black or if it smelled like the city dump--his dominant abilities would be the last think I'd be thinking about as I ran out the door. I think organization and cleanliness are not strictly a dominant or a submissive trait. I personally like everything very tidy, I like my home to smell clean and I enjoy cleaning. However, I know that some submissive people do not feel the same way---some even (gasp) hate cleaning. I think the bottom line is no matter which side of the kneel, we are all people and perfection should never be expected. With that said, if He is a bit messy, things are a little cluttered, as long as he has a bottle of Mr. Clean I can deal with it.

Contentment -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/23/2011 8:00:21 AM)
Does organized only matter in appearance? I remember when I was younger, much younger, and had my legos in bins. Now legos in bins aren't exactly organized. However, if you knew what part you were looking for, I could actually remember the placement of almost every lego in the bins. My cleaning situation is sometimes similar. I know where things are while the room is chaotic in appearance. They are there for reasons, but to other people it just looks like a mess. Sometimes my area is clean too, just depends. Thoughts?

TreasureKY -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/23/2011 10:02:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx When I think of someone dominant, I think of someone in control of their life, their environment and all the things that go along with it. (As much as can reasonably be expected. I do expect everyone to be human and flawed...even dominants!) While I consider a dominant best compatible with me as being mostly similar to this, I've also pretty much concluded that dominance is merely a mind-set. Please don't mistake this as a chosen mind-set... as in someone making a conscious decision... but instead an inborn or developed way of thinking. To me, someone is dominant when their default perspective is one of self-centeredness and they *prefer* it that way. Again, please don't take this from a negative standpoint, as I'm not intending it to be either positive or negative. I believe that everyone is "self-centered", and I see this as natural. Of course we all want things to be how we want... we initially view the workings of the world around us from the point of how it directly affects us... and we initially consider everything from our own perspectives (our current position and our history). And equally, everyone is just as capable of altering our viewpoint to consider others. As I see it, however, someone who is a dominant generally prefers his or her viewpoint to be primary, and is willing to accept the responsibility for it being or being made so. In juxtaposition, for example, as a submissive, I like for my own viewpoint to be seriously considered, but I have a stronger preference for the tranquility/peace/harmony that comes with deferring to (and pleasing) others. Again, this isn't to say that a dominant will always override consideration for others. I believe this is where we get into our own determinations for what makes a "good" dominant... just as determinations on what makes a "good" submissive. If a dominant never considered how his or her decisions affected others, or refused to ever allow another's preference to take precedence, then I would consider them a bad dominant. A compatible dominant and submissive agree on where the line is drawn. Of course, I consider a good dominant for me as one who, in taking responsibility for asserting their desires, has developed the self-control needed to direct his own future, as well as mine, for the good of both. And to be a good submissive for that dominant, I have to have the self-control necessary to take his direction.

NuevaVida -> RE: Does Dominance Imply Order? (10/23/2011 2:04:43 PM)
~ Fast Reply ~ I think messy/clean is more a right side brain/left side brain sort of thing than an implied dominance sort of thing. Now for me personally, I would not want a cluttered-house kinda guy to manage me, because we would clearly have different priorities of what's important to us, and we'd drive each other crazy. But I've known men who have had messy houses, yet still managed to portray a level of internal power which got my attention. Long term, though, that wouldn't work for me.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

5.078125E-02