ownedgirlie
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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I am in no way telling people that they can't incorporate some micromanagement techniques into their relationship. That's a blast for an afternoon or a weekend scene. But it doesn't work out well in the long term.
For you. Maybe it works for others. It isn't up to any of us to tell anyone what they can and can not incorporate...is it? You are basically saying "You can only incorporate this during a scene."
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People have lives that go on and can't take time out for their slave to be yanking them out of business meetings twelve times a day for permission to pee, or to eat, or to walk the dog. For that matter, most submissives and slaves can't take time out of their work day to make those kind of calls all day either.
Are you assuming standing rules do not exist, and a slave has to actually ask each and every time she(he) does something, rather than have a "bathroom rule" or a "clothing rule," etc.? If this is the case, yes that would become seriously challenging. Maybe I did miss the point and understood your comments about micromanaging and being old enough to know how to pee as something you simply can not have any rules about.
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I can not tell you how many times over the years I have heard the words "you must not be a real submissive". Yes, sometimes it comes from clueless men who think they are Dominant....but more often than not it comes from some newbie submissive who thinks that submission is asking permission to pee.
It goes back to everyone having their own opinion of definitions. Maybe it's just that person's understanding, and if that's the case...who cares, really what a stranger thinks about something sacred to you?
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You want to try out a nice deep submissively place, try maintaining your submission when times are tough....when your Dominant is out of work and you are selling your family heirlooms to get by....or you took a second job and still have all of the responsibilities of your Dominant, your home and your children AFTER you finish that 80 hour week in the career world....see what a deeply submissive place you have to get to in those kinds of circumstances in order to keep that smile on your face, your ass in the air and that yes Master coming out of your mouth.
Are you using "you" and "you're" universally here? If not, I am not sure you or anyone here is qualified to decide whether I have been through tough times or not in my submission - I have.
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Maybe it's just late and I'm just tired....but please don't tell me that I "FAIL" to understand.
I said people fail to see the differences between needing a particular rule and being deeply effected by one. I did not say that you personally fail to understand. However, with an OP stating that micromanagement (universally, it seemed) consists of a dom being "a control freak," of subs being "mindless drones," men who think a girl would not be "intelligent enough" and apparently not "grown up," it seemed there was a lack of acceptance for those who are positively effected by the examples you stated. Did I misunderstand?
As for this quote:
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I absolutely would know exactly what to do. I would know it because as I said, my genuine desire is to please. "I'd really like to see what you look like as a blonde"......guess what, you'd wake up the next morning to a blonde. Simple really...and much different than "you are to dye your hair blonde!". The look that would make me eat on the floor....well, my pork chops taste just as good down there....and if that is what is pleasing to him then we are both getting our needs filled, no?
What if he said, "I would really like to see you pee in a bowl from now on." I guess this is where I am getting confused. I am honestly not trying to pick on your posts, and maybe I completely missed your point, as you said in your post to me. But, wouldn't dying your hair blonde be him micromanaging what you looked like just as decidng when and how you pee is micromanaging your bathroom habits? Or is it that he didn't ask or tell you to dye your hair, and that came from you? And if that's the case, then my confusion lies with this question - are direct orders considered micromanaging? Does it depend on what the direct order is? Is it only direct orders on basic functions? What if there are standing orders which exist that put a girl in her place just as smiling with your ass in the air during difficult times let you feel your place?
Just some questions to throw out there. I saw your post differently, and if I am wrong, then I ask if you would clarify. I saw the negative comments in your posts (with reference to what you describe as micromanaging) as criticisms to those who do micromanage. That is why I interpreted the "do it my way or it doesn't work" understanding.
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RE: I don't think I "fit" into the box........ - 
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. I have always had the pleasure of incorporating and enjoying all of those aspects within my relationships.
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