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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 3:33:08 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

He is saying that every one of those say that they were miserable or suicidal prior, and much happier now. Within that set - they say, universally, that they were miserable or suicidal prior, and much happier now.


Or they say, "Every TG I've known that has done the operation has emerged a happier person."  It is when you're throwing out such broad terms like universally that it becomes less about just those few TG friends and more about TG at large. 

quote:

Now... He qualified the statement by defining the set "The Few TGs I have known". I don't think he's extrapolating that to imply that every TG on the planet or in the wider universe was miserable or suicidal prior, and much happier now, but I think he's making and argument that, given his experience, he'd expect a significant number of TGs from the general population to feel the same.


And this is where I come in and say that would be an incorrect assumption to make considering there have been no statistics or data to actually show that and again, there is the term "universally" that diffuses the entire argument.  When you want to say, "I expect a significant number of TGs" you word it as, "most."  If you're going to play arbiter and include the entirety of TGs, you say "universal."  By you speaking for him and turning "universal" (the entire population of TGs) into "significant" (a large portion of TGs but not all) you are incorrectly defending him.  You are trying to erase his blunder and replace it with something that never was.

You're also not seeing the blunder you yourself have made by saying that the "few TGs" that make up the universe for him now have given DarkSteven the thought that any TG that has underwent the operation will be full of joy/happiness.  DarkSteven is still going to be assuming that what the "few TGs" have experienced is an axiom to all others.  This assumption will exist as universal to him unless he meets a TG that is unhappy after operation.  Why does this assumption exist as universal?  Because that is all he knows for now, and that is flawed logic.  What makes it hilarious is how he had jabbed at me for "making up facts" when I, myself have used to word "most" when referring to people in general that view the TG types negatively.  Do you know why I say "most" and not something grand such as "universally?"  Because a person such as DarkSteven prohibits me from incorrectly making him apart of the group.  He's a normal guy, right?  I'm saying *most* normal people frown on the transgendered, and I say that because I am well aware there are those out there such as him that have some form of relationship with one.  He can currently stick to his belief that all that undergo SRS surgery are suddenly amazingly happy but someone of his years and general wisdom should know better that there is a percentage of those that still find no reprieve. 


quote:

Since you define homosexuality as "abnormal" I simply wanted to ask whether you regarded homosexuality as a mental illness.


Ah, but you see that's an entirely new hornets nest to bat at.  I will comment though that by saying it is "abnormal" I do not necessarily imply mental sickness.  But as I said, I'll save open that Pandora's Box in another topic.








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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 3:42:22 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

With that said... Heather, I think you may have a point regarding the trolling.


If I was trolling I'd say this: "Anybody that likes TGs are morons."  That would provoke enough of a reaction especially considering my history here.  No Steven, what I am doing is giving my piece of opinion on the matter and I promise you I do not say this out of arrogance but I believe mine is closer to the truth (and by that I mean in terms of social reception to the transsexual types) than the supporters in this thread have displayed.  You and some others have a "few cases" while all I have to do is tell you to go outside and simply ask people on the street.  You'll find the results staggering.

And if you cannot handle our views conflicting then perhaps you should've thought before testing me out since as I'm sure you are now well aware of my confrontational attitude. 


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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 3:50:45 AM   
crazyml


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

You're also not seeing the blunder you yourself have made by saying that the "few TGs" that make up the universe for him now have given DarkSteven the thought that any TG that has underwent the operation will be full of joy/happiness. 



Well, I'm not seeing it, because I'm absolutely certain that I did not say that.

Could you please point out where I said that DarkSteven thought that any TG that has underwent the operation will be full of joy/happiness? This'll help me get to the bottom of the comprehension issues you appear to be having.

Thanks in advance!





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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 4:26:23 AM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
Steven, what I am doing is giving my piece of opinion on the matter and I promise you I do not say this out of arrogance but I believe mine is closer to the truth (and by that I mean in terms of social reception to the transsexual types) than the supporters in this thread have displayed.  You and some others have a "few cases" while all I have to do is tell you to go outside and simply ask people on the street.  You'll find the results staggering.

And if you cannot handle our views conflicting then perhaps you should've thought before testing me out since as I'm sure you are now well aware of my confrontational attitude. 



I have a few cases.  You have your opinion and an assurance that I should ask cis people on the street if they think that transfolk are happier before or after transition.  Sounds like Nixon's "silent majority", in which he resolved the conflict between his own views and the polls' results by postulating that there was a huge chunk of people who agreed with him that the polls didn't represent.

I keep thinking that the opinion of actual trans trumps what clueless folks might think.

I have no issue with out views conflicting.  I'm having a hard time with you thinking your opinion trumps reality and evidence.


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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 6:22:00 AM   
HeatherMcLeather


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quote:

The first, and more prized, is hard data - where a system was put in place to deliberately gather it, through surveys or instrumentation.
What a good idea! We'll do a survey!

Here are the questions we're thinking of asking:
1. Would you befriend a post-op transsexual?
2. Would you have sex with a post-op transsexual
3. Would you have a relationship with a post-op transsexual?
4. Do you consider transsexuals freaks?
5. Do you think transsexuals are happier after transitioning?

Comments, suggestions?


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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 6:25:56 AM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
1. Would you befriend a post-op transsexual?

yeah, as long as they were nice and I enjoyed their company.

quote:

2. Would you have sex with a post-op transsexual

no.
quote:

3. Would you have a relationship with a post-op transsexual?

no.
quote:

4. Do you consider transsexuals freaks?

no.
quote:

5. Do you think transsexuals are happier after transitioning?

Probably depends on the individual person



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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 6:48:09 AM   
HeatherMcLeather


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Thanks Aileen, but I meant we were going to ask people at school, to get a more representative sample than CM, we're hardly mainstream here . But we'll make a supplemental poll here to compare results.

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 6:58:45 AM   
Aileen1968


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See what happens when I don't have my coffee in the morning.

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 7:09:06 AM   
GreedyTop


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Love the new pic, Aileen :)


Heather, I'll look forward to seeing the results of your poll!!

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 7:09:11 AM   
HeatherMcLeather


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No problem. here's the CM survey, so you can register your votes.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3926081/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3926081

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 7:32:57 AM   
crazyml


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Excellent idea!

The "is having a dildo up your bum a bit gay" survey was awesome!

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 8:20:32 AM   
OttersSwim


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I like the idea of a survey.

I would just like to add to this discussion that I am a transsexual, I am open and out to everyone who matters in my life, and I do not in any way lack for friends...in fact, I have so many friends that I have a hard time keeping up with all of them.  I have a wonderful marriage and D/s relationship that is sexual, it is connective, and it is fulfilling.  I do not know anyone in RL that considers transsexuals freaks...now admittedly, that could simply be because I tend to surround myself with people who are very open minded.

I have been out presenting as female in public many many times now over the past 4 years.  As I have said in the past, I don't completely pass.  I have flown, bought groceries, pumped gas, been to an outdoor hotspring, attended a health and fitness conference of a thousand + "vanilla" people, ran a half marathon and been seen by thousands, walked in giant crowds of people, eaten at numerous restaurants...you get the idea...

In all of those experiences, I have encountered exactly three people who have had any sort of open negative reaction.  One blatant half curious, half hostile stare and some giggles and pointing...meh...

I know a number of transgender folks in real life and many of them are my friends, and they also fit many of these points and experiences.   This is why I am pretty darn "bullish" on being trans and while I acknowledge that there are still problems with being transgendered in society today, well, the times they are a changin'....slowly...


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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 9:31:42 AM   
stellauk


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I just thought I'd come back to expand on this thread a bit more and provide maybe a little more in the way of context.

Here we have a thread about the transgendered. On the same page there is another thread titled 'tributes' and yet another one titled 'so-called dommes'.

Now on a superficial level we have two threads started by males who are upset about the fact that some dommes demanding some form of payment for what they see as prostitution. But in actual fact this isn't the issue which is clearly evident in both threads. The issue at stake isn't so much money, nor is it the fact that there's dommes who require payment for doing whatever it is they do. The problem is that they are women, they have pussy, and they are denying these men their privilege and entitlement to free access to pussy on their terms. Observe that both are in a relationship with a woman and observe that in both cases these men are not getting that free access to pussy on their terms.

This is where the root of the problem lies. It's not with the transgendered at all. The actual problem lies with gender and this comes back to what I posted earlier about the problem stems from people either having a too rigid perspective on gender roles in society or a false sense of privilege and entitlement on account of their own gender role.

These types of threads, which aren't exclusive to men but are specific to a sizeable number of people, appear frequently. When you imagine that this is just one message board on this topic, with access internationally, you may start to get some idea of just how widespread or big this issue is. We are talking about a major cause of conflict throughout the world, and it is debatable whether this causes as many or more conflicts than for any other reason.

My own personal view is that we, the transgendered, if anything, are caught up in the cross fire which a few people choose to point out subtly or not so subtly. Why? It's because some people see us as gaining access to a set of social privileges and entitlements which doesn't seem fair or right. However the battle or war if you like is about gender, that's what brings people to the battlefield.

Also, because we are, as a community or group so diverse and not much unified, together with the fact that there's no visible evidence to back up that what we say, we just make a soft target for such people.

I feel therefore that my view on increasing awareness about the transgendered through putting it into the context of gender as a whole is about as much as you can do.

My hope therefore isn't for a greater awareness and understanding for the transgendered but for one between men and women who aren't transgendered.

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 10:09:43 AM   
strawberryshake


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What a lovely post StellaUK.

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 11:04:14 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:


Could you please point out where I said that DarkSteven thought that any TG that has underwent the operation will be full of joy/happiness?


Look, I don't know if I'm going to have to copy/paste the same reply to you over and over but all of your posts in this thread directed towards me have been riddled with some desperate attempt to prove me wrong.  Now I'm going to address this one last time, so pay attention:

By defending him you have supported and reinforced his skewed perception that "a few TGs I know" speaks for every TG.  How can I make this claim?  I didn't have to, he did it for me by saying "universally."  Since you like analogies, let me give you one...

"When I was driving through Chinatown in Toronto at 3 AM I nearly got into three car accidents from Asian drivers so universally-speaking they are bad drivers."

What I have just said was retarded.  I put an expectation on an entire group of people much like DarkSteven's belief that from his few TG friends that have been happier post-op, must mean that every other TG is happier post-op. 

Now because DarkSteven only knows a few TGs (which make up his 'universe') let's look at my analogy and say that I just came to Canada after living in Romania all my life and never met an Asian person.  With my brief interaction, my universal perception of them is that they are all bad drivers.  That is the assumption that I will now have when I see one on the road and if I one day see a good Asian driver (or in DarkSteven's case, a miserable post-op transsexual) then my initial universal view was wrong.  It was destined to be wrong from the beginning.  This makes what he said ignorant. 

What he did was an illogical inference. 

As I said before, your defense of his ostentatious claim is upholding it and supporting it. 




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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 12:04:42 PM   
Arpig


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quote:

What he did was an illogical inference.
Not quite trollboy, its you who has made the illogical inference. crazyml is exactly 100% correct as to the meaning of the word "universally"in the context in which it was used. But you know that, you're just arguing it for the sake of arguing it.

< Message edited by Arpig -- 11/17/2011 12:05:46 PM >


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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 12:05:08 PM   
GreedyTop


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*applauds Stella* brilliant post!

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 4:42:06 PM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

You're making up your facts.  The few TGs I have known, universally say that they were miserable or suicidal prior, and much happier now.  And feel free to explain to my sub that she will never form a lasting relationship, and she will laugh at you.  I know a few other TGs who have relationships, and some who do not.


First off, you cannot say, "universally" because again, a few does not speak for all.  When they got the surgery were they all happy to have done it?  I bet they were.  Did they find it harder to get people to accept them as they were and treat them appropriately?  I will wager my car on that.  It is all just simple logic and understanding of how people work.  If a man feels like a woman, but is still a man, then those around him will not be aware of that and treat him normally.  If that same man gets surgery and becomes a woman, and then goes out in public then those around him will be looking at him like he is an elephant in the room.  They are even more prone because if they seek to be accepted by the general population then they are in for a very rude awakening. 

You stated your example with your submissive so let me relay to you when earlier this year (I believe) a transgendered woman was brutally assaulted by two females at a McDonald's in Baltimore, Maryland.  While this is a very extreme case, it is the harsh and cold reality that you, me and your friend live in.



Okay.  Above is the original statement from me that you're kicking about.  I had stated that the few TGs I know stated something universally.  That means like in, they're a sample, and they stated something 100%.  A small sample, but decent data.

You have not talked to a single trans (except for the ones you've ignored in this thread).  You have no hard data.  You have cited no articles or research.  You have made crap up and promised that if I actually talked to cis people, they would back you that transgendered folks are unhappier after the transition.

My data is not strong.  Yours is nonexistent.


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 5:47:43 PM   
hausboy


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Great post Stella!

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RE: The Transgender Thread - 11/17/2011 6:38:00 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

I had stated that the few TGs I know stated something universally.


Which again is incorrect.  Basing their personal experience as universal to all others is foolish.  That would be like me saying that every guy with long hair will date models because it happened to me.  But it doesn't. 

quote:

You have not talked to a single trans (except for the ones you've ignored in this thread).  You have no hard data.  You have cited no articles or research.  You have made crap up and promised that if I actually talked to cis people, they would back you that transgendered folks are unhappier after the transition.


Hold your horses there... the social backlash I am getting at with the world around transsexuals is that they are generally not seen as normal and it is in that treatment to them that I have conceived the theory that there is greater chance for a transsexual to feel depression when they are spurned by the majority.  You may ask how I can say that, and that you want an article/some research.  Careful what you wish for:

http://mypage.direct.ca/h/hrp/gendertr.html

Under "Transphobia" heading, it says and I quote...

"In the collective opinion of mainstream society, transgendered people cross too many gender boundaries and as a result experience gender-based discrimination, or transphobia."

Then there is my personal viewing of them in public.  I was once at a Starbucks roughly a year ago when I saw what looked to be a transgendered person ordering.  I was watching out of interest to the reactions by those around him, and could see the cashier snickering with a male employee  towards the back, the male employee went to go "see" this transgendered person who was now seated and was pulled back by the playful cashier who exclaimed a semi-loud "No! Don't!" 

There are other cases I've seen in public as well.


quote:

My data is not strong.  Yours is nonexistent.


"
Our society is not kind to those who are visibly transgendered. Many are rejected by their own families and friends. Most face social isolation, and are discriminated against in employment, health care, social services and housing. Many transgendered persons live high-risk lifestyles, much of it due to the negative social pressure they have experienced throughout their lives. Statistics gathered thus far by the High Risk Project Society suggest that as many as 20% of the (known) transgendered community are involved in high-risk activity in Vancouver, such as the sex trade and substance abuse."

What's up now?


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