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[Poll]

Biases on collarme?

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to women

24% (24)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to men

0% (0)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to subs/bottoms

9% (9)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to Dominants/Masters

8% (8)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to slaves

3% (3)

There tends to be an anti D/s bias here.

3% (3)

There tends to be an anti M/s bias here.

7% (7)

Posters tend to take women more seriously.

9% (9)

Posters tend to take men more seriously.

2% (2)

Other

34% (34)

Total Votes : 99

(last vote on : 10/8/2012 7:10:16 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 7:36:36 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Now what you see is... "did you use the search engine???" That bothers me. Who says a topic cant be revisited every once in a while?

That one puzzles me too.

pam

Oddly enough, I wonder why it bothers people.

Sometimes, the 'revisiting' of a topic is a matter of somebody flipping to page two of the board because we just talked it to death last week. There are some topics that have never even had a six month break around here since I've been a member. Stuff like why are there so many fake profiles, what is a munch, or where is a good place to buy a collar.

If somebody comes here asking about books on BDSM, more often than not, I'm going to point them to the thread that ResidentSadist put up in Alternative Lifestyles in the News. Why? Simply because it's the best list on the entire site. It's more complete than anything I would type up at a moments notice. It doesn't mean that I don't want to talk about books. It means that there is more information.

Plus, Aileen is right about a lot of the membership having turned over through the years. I still run across times that there was a past thread on a topic that one person or another who isn't a member here anymore really did give the best answer to a particular question that I've ever heard around this place. Better than what they might get from the current membership now because they had more experience in the matter.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 201

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 7:39:38 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Yet, because the membership has changed over the years, the same question could go into a differently total direction. I have no problem referencing someone to a previous thread. But the put downs about how its all been said before... it could be that someone may have new insight into an old problem.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 202

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 7:42:28 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

The way I look at it...........I actually have the CHOICE (novel concept I know...) to bother reading about the topic.

Whether it's there or not, should not affect me one way or another.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 203

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 7:46:27 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

The search engine here... is not what it could be.

Actually, it sucks. I tried to find the boob thread USING THE WORDS IN THE TITLE and it didn't come up for me. Same with other searches when I was hunting for a thread to show someone. Sunspots? Maybe. Anyway, I don't recommend the search function as a FIRST line of investigation, only as another thing to look into. It does produce SOME results, after all.

This comes back to the anti-stupid bias, in my opinion. With the internet in full bloom, someone who comes here asking an incredibly stupid question---and oh YES there are stupid questions---is going to be perceived as lazy. That perception might be dead wrong, but that's what is going to happen.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 204

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 7:52:07 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

I have searched for posts that I have made in the past... maybe just as recent as two days ago... or as long as a few years ago... and had lots of difficulty finding them.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 205

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 7:59:44 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

The search engine here... is not what it could be.

Actually, it sucks. I tried to find the boob thread USING THE WORDS IN THE TITLE and it didn't come up for me. Same with other searches when I was hunting for a thread to show someone. Sunspots? Maybe. Anyway, I don't recommend the search function as a FIRST line of investigation, only as another thing to look into. It does produce SOME results, after all.

This comes back to the anti-stupid bias, in my opinion. With the internet in full bloom, someone who comes here asking an incredibly stupid question---and oh YES there are stupid questions---is going to be perceived as lazy. That perception might be dead wrong, but that's what is going to happen.

Gaaaa!!!!!!! I must be extra lazy because I don't remember ever searching for a thread or thread topic!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 206

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 8:34:04 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

The regular search function does suck. I have better luck if I change the default Search only Topics and Replies to Combine Topics and Replies

Searching by poster works well, so you can always search for yourself, or, if you didn't post on the thread, a memorable poster. You'll have to be able to spell the nick correctly, however.

I've bookmarked ResidentSadist's booklist, but tend to recall it by searching for him and then clicking on his sigline.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 207

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 10:26:26 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I have taken to using the "subscribe" function for stuff I want to remember for later.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 208

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 10:49:26 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

I have searched for posts that I have made in the past... maybe just as recent as two days ago... or as long as a few years ago... and had lots of difficulty finding them.

For example, you didn't make that post. Apparently you haven't made a post with the word "years" in it since Oct. 26, and nothing with the word "days" in it since June.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 209

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 2:37:22 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeQ
...Its OK to say you spank or whip because it turns you on, but its not really OK to say you obey or want to be obeyed because it turns you on.

If it's okay to say one and not the other, then i wouldn't call that an "anti-sex bias", but rather a tendency to romanticize D/s or M/s relationships.

pam

_____________________________

[link] www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlvDnbFOkYY [/link]

(in reply to SuzeQ)

Post #: 210

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 2:52:16 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Strong men, are rarely going to give a shit what someone thinks so attempting to convert a whole bunch of people by trying to argue them into the ground is always going to be seen as a waste of time.

i don't see either sex as being naturally more argumentative HERE. In real life, i would have said that men are.

quote:

Men also tend to have no problem going it alone, whereas women are almost automatically drawn into mutual assistance.

Don't believe me, pick a pages-long thread and watch how many of the women in it:

* Respond to a contrary opinion by reinforcing and supporting each other.
* Attempt to attack a guy by talking ABOUT him to other women, rather than addressing him directly.
* Descend to random insults whenever they see a poster they don't like.

...Edit: Oh, forgot this one. If you want to see the female need to belong in action - check how many female signatures have nonsensical addendums which state they belong to this or that miscellaneous group, they're "approved" by some individual or they have this many points.

Okay, You're right. i would have called this behavior "bullying", though, and not a bias, per se. But it constitutes pressure that's being exerted against posters to conform.

pam

_____________________________

[link] www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlvDnbFOkYY [/link]

(in reply to Awareness)

Post #: 211

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 3:03:55 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

i'm getting into some touchy stuff now, and hopefully it's not going to explode on me, but does anyone think there's an anti-Semitic bias, or any other race or religion related bias here?

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 11/14/2011 3:05:12 PM >

_____________________________

[link] www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlvDnbFOkYY [/link]

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 212

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 3:17:01 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I have searched for posts that I have made in the past... maybe just as recent as two days ago... or as long as a few years ago... and had lots of difficulty finding them.

You're a very wicked girl tazzy for not trying harder.

When you first log on, fire up your own profile (easier if you've made yourself a favourite of yourself - your profile is then easy to select); then click View Forum Posts). Or if you're in Collarchat already just look at the "Users viewing this topic" at the top of the page and click on your own name.

You'll get all your posts in date order.

Now go kneel in the naughty corner and say "I must try harder" until someone comes along and spanks you.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 213

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 3:20:11 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

I agree that the constant influx of new people on these boards does allow for different viewpoints on what some may consider to be old and used up topics. That is reason enough to not jump to point someone to the search function.

More important to me, though, is the human element - the compassion. The back and forth between people that clearly everyone here - everyone, even the ones that bitch about how much time other people spend here - comes here for. We could all find all the information we want on the internet about anything. But we can't have dialogue, and we can't have someone listen to what we have to say. Just doing the talking can be just as beneficial, if not more so, than the actual information that's frankly, often, dime a dozen.

When I was considering a poly relationship and was scared to death of STDs, did I really need to know about how to protect myself? Of course not. I have a brain and a laptop. I can figure it out. I needed someone to help me calm down and breathe and not make a big deal out of nothing - or - make a bigger deal out of something I wasn't paying enough mind to. I needed to vent, to bounce things off of you guys, and to hear what you had to say to me, not to a black void that can only echo back responses through the blinking cursor of a search bar.

Especially, with all of this WIITWD (oh! I think that's the first time I've used that acronym! What do I win?), many of us are not in the position to talk with others face to face about our questions. It is already a lonely world for some. The casual response to check the search engine, as if we are too busy and important to answer those questions, or how can you be so silly as to not know we already talked about that 52 times this month, can only add to someone's already confused perception of...here I go again...WIITWD.

I am all for linking to a helpful thread as part of a response. Because that is good information for someone to have. I cringe, though, when we start to turn people away and tell them that rather than having a conversation with them, we'd rather they just use the search function and not bother us. It seems rude and unwelcoming. I know it's not our job to be Walmart greeters for the forums. I certainly don't go running to every introduction thread to make new posters feel at home. But for some, it's a scary thing to actually verbalize their questions, and I am sure many of them are worrying, as they type their thoughts out, whether they will sound foolish or inexperienced. I hate to see the door slammed on them before they even make it through the entryway.

Please don't misunderstand. I'm not saying I want to coddle every new poster. I very much like the different personalities on the boards and would hate to see everyone being....you know....nice. (I rather like, in fact, the more matter-of-fact brusque posters.) So, it's not necessarily the manner in which we respond...it's just the fact that we do respond that I think is kind of the whole point of a discussion board.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 214

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 3:29:22 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

As much as I really hate to admit it............in many ways
...
lots of stuff
...
As a general rule.

It's unlike you LT <sucks up to the lady> but you have apparently missed a key point (which may be included in CM's ToS, it's certainly in the bdsm Manual for Users) - men don't come here to debate intellectual issues, we come here to suck up to ladies in the hope that they'll think we're half-intelligent and will want to play with us.

It is one of life's fundamental truths that "even if we type really stupid shit, guys will lap it up regardless. Especially if the women are giving those guys any attention at all". The other fundamental truth is that "those men, regardless of dominant or submissive, will tend to pander to those women, basking in their attentions". There are only these two fundamental truths in life.

And you have revealed the third fundamental truth (there are now three) - "the pussy rules".

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 215

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 3:38:03 PM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

I have found some posters to be very sexist. I have noticed a bias against middle aged women. Kind of like real life.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 216

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 3:40:09 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
...
Especially, with all of this WIITWD (oh! I think that's the first time I've used that acronym! What do I win?)
...

You have lost your virginity and the funny little ice cream cone; now, or at least very soon, you will win a second funny little spanking paddle (which you can also use in the kitchen as a cooking spatula and flip pancakes or burgers, to both of which I believe American ppl are very partial).

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 217

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 5:09:37 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

I have searched for posts that I have made in the past... maybe just as recent as two days ago... or as long as a few years ago... and had lots of difficulty finding them.
For example, you didn't make that post. Apparently you haven't made a post with the word "years" in it since Oct. 26, and nothing with the word "days" in it since June.

Yeah, that could be why....

How long has it been since someone called you a brat?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 218

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 5:11:40 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I have searched for posts that I have made in the past... maybe just as recent as two days ago... or as long as a few years ago... and had lots of difficulty finding them.

You're a very wicked girl tazzy for not trying harder.

When you first log on, fire up your own profile (easier if you've made yourself a favourite of yourself - your profile is then easy to select); then click View Forum Posts). Or if you're in Collarchat already just look at the "Users viewing this topic" at the top of the page and click on your own name.

You'll get all your posts in date order.

Now go kneel in the naughty corner and say "I must try harder" until someone comes along and spanks you.

Cute.

I can tell you dont know me.

Its ok.

You will learn.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 219

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/14/2011 5:17:57 PM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

Why do I have an image of you and Dinnardin laughing til you fell over reading that post?

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 220

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