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[Poll]

Biases on collarme?


Posters tend to be more sympathetic to women
  24% (24)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to men
  0% (0)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to subs/bottoms
  9% (9)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to Dominants/Masters
  8% (8)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to slaves
  3% (3)
There tends to be an anti D/s bias here.
  3% (3)
There tends to be an anti M/s bias here.
  7% (7)
Posters tend to take women more seriously.
  9% (9)
Posters tend to take men more seriously.
  2% (2)
Other
  34% (34)


Total Votes : 99
(last vote on : 10/8/2012 7:10:16 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 6:38:35 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Okay with your further explanation I see where you are going. That was helpful.

I think in regards to gender bias, it really depends on the person. And even then, any data is kinda iffy.

I mean, I can say, well I have X years in the lifestyle and therefore my word should be considered unbiased. And I think it is. But that is *MY* perception, nothing more. That doesn't mean I am unbiased. It means I think I am.

Big difference.

What you are talking about is not something that can be seriously discussed w/o benefit of research based on actual scientific rigor. Not something that is likely to happen here.

JMO


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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 6:38:41 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53
Are you just talking about the options in your poll Pam, or in general ?


Well, there was an "other" option for anything i missed, but basically i was asking about the forums, not BDSM in general. But if you really want to talk about biases or double standards that you perceive in the BDSM world in general, hey, go for it. i don't mind. It's been real dull around here lately. As far as i'm concerned, you're welcome to discuss anything that's even remmotely related to the OP.

pam

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 6:38:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		My most recent journal entry covers some of these topics.  I'm not going to post the whole entry here (it's rather long) unless the OP would like it specifically put on the thread.  It is up for discussion over on the group that I run on Fet.  I think My feelings on the matter can be explained from what I've written on the subject.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 6:40:11 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyCats

Hmm... Not a term I had encountered. "Taken-In-Hand"? Mind educating me on the subject?





Here's a thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3427517/mpage_1/key_taken+in+hand/tm.htm#3427954

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 6:40:53 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I am neutral in my bias.  There are a few Doms that I don't like on the other side because of his pic.  It shows what he does, not what he looks like.

Besides I hate asses beaten to a hamburger like pulp.  To me that is abuse. 

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 6:41:47 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Pam, a few of us cross posted, see post 20# for what I mean.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:04:51 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		with male subs kinks especially, definitely a bias.
Otherwise.. it doesnt affect me.

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Dont Hate Love

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:06:30 PM   
ColeYote


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/13/2011
Status: offline 		I feel like there is a *tiny* amount of bias against subs who aren't the unquestioning, "yes sir/ma'am, right away sir/ma'am" type. This may just be my experience, though. Mostly because I said in another thread that I can't imagine I'm the type who's going to clean the bloody house unless I'm provided with a bit more incentive. Some others made a few less-than-true assumptions in light of that.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:17:00 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeQ

There's a very strong anti-sex bias on CM.
Those who are sexually motivated in their BDSM are regularly belittled as "just a bottom".

Any attempt to actually discuss sex or relate things of a sexual nature are shouted down very quickly.


I wholeheartedly disagree. I make no bones about the fact that this is ALL about sex for me. I've started threads specifically asking for wank material that have gone on for pages.

I think it's when people start threads asking for information or stories that are clearly of a sexual nature but try and pretend it's for some other reason; or when they are just plain creepy types who noone knows sort of walking in and saying, "hey, help me jerk off". Those are the ones that are shouted down quickly.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:19:44 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

Mostly because I said in another thread that I can't imagine I'm the type who's going to clean the bloody house unless I'm provided with a bit more incentive. Some others made a few less-than-true assumptions in light of that.
If you're still miffled at the gentle handling you got on that thread, then whatever you do, do NOT go down to the P&R forum!

I think there definitely is a bias, but it isn't one that can be nailed down, to a large degree it depends on the exact situation being addressed, and also on who the early posters are and how they address the OP. If it starts out sarcastic/snarky, it can be very hard to get the thread back on track. Those early posts often set the tone for the next few pages. Its not just a herd instinct thing, but if you read through 10 replies basically questioning the OP's integrity, by the time you get to the end to post, you find yourself predisposed to question it as well.

Sometimes its preferable to just read the OP, answer based on that alone, then read the rest of the thread. Of course, depending on how the thread has developed, that can be a dumb move as well.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:21:32 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

If you're still miffled at the gentle handling you got on that thread, then whatever you do, do NOT go down to the P&R forum!


Awww come on Heather. I promise to be nice! ~well, nice for me that is

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:25:35 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

I wholeheartedly disagree. I make no bones about the fact that this is ALL about sex for me.
And I wholeheartedly disagree with you. This must be an anti-Domme bias on my part.

Actually, I think that is due to an anti-newbie bias. Once a poster has been around a while and established their forum self, they can get away with things that a new poster can't. I'm not exactly sure why that might be, but it seems it is, maybe we feel more comfortable discussing blatantly sexual things with people we have a bit of a guage of, somebody we have a feel for who they are and how they click.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:26:19 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I didn't mean just casual play, I meant those who's motivation is openly sexual, who admit they do D/s because it turns them on. Its OK to say you spank or whip because it turns you on, but its not really OK to say you obey or want to be obeyed because it turns you on.


Its not? No snark intended. Obeying turns me on. Men turn me on. being bratty turns me on. I obey because its expected, because it turns him on for me to do so. For me, sex is a huge incentive... the better the sex.. the better I behave.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:27:14 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeQ
I didn't mean just casual play, I meant those who's motivation is openly sexual, who admit they do D/s because it turns them on. Its OK to say you spank or whip because it turns you on, but its not really OK to say you obey or want to be obeyed because it turns you on.


i'm curious about this. Do you notice what other reason people give for obeying or wanting to obey? i haven't noticed that anyone's shy about saying that.

pam

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:28:56 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

Awww come on Heather. I promise to be nice! ~well, nice for me that is
I love it down there, very rough and tumble! I just wish I could comment on more of what goes on. Speaking of which, I took up the Spaniard's agnostic challenge, I should see if he has unhidden me to accept my offer.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:29:49 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Dang, I just keep missing being "politically correct"

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:40:04 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

I wholeheartedly disagree. I make no bones about the fact that this is ALL about sex for me.
And I wholeheartedly disagree with you. This must be an anti-Domme bias on my part.

Actually, I think that is due to an anti-newbie bias. Once a poster has been around a while and established their forum self, they can get away with things that a new poster can't. I'm not exactly sure why that might be, but it seems it is, maybe we feel more comfortable discussing blatantly sexual things with people we have a bit of a guage of, somebody we have a feel for who they are and how they click.


This.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:44:47 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		i think i'm biased against M/s relationships. i will almost always counsel someone against giving up complete control of their decision making process, even if the person is a slave. My own personal bias.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 11/11/2011 7:45:02 PM >

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:53:02 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I see a lot of biases of different sorts, towards different things.

Not long ago I did a little experiment here and found that there was a bias that I found pretty pathetic. To the point that I found it starting to get to me and had to walk away for a few days to regain my perspective.

Basically what I have found is that whatever bias there is here is either allowed or not by the representatives of the owners of the site. We either accept it or we find someplace else to waste time. Depending on who happens to be posting, sometimes I hang out and other times not.

What it all boils down to, I have to honestly say I don't really give a damn about biases here. It is what it is.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 7:54:45 PM   
HannahLynn


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline
quote:

Do you notice what other reason people give for obeying or wanting to obey?
it's natural. it's just the way i am. its comfortable. it fulfills me. its a spiritual thing. its how i was raised. its the way god ordained things. it makes him happy. its just the way we like things.

and on and on and on. anything but fucking admit that d/s is a fucking kink that gives them wood and gets them wet. though to be honest the bulk of that crowd isn't posting very regularly these days, so i think us horny sluts are in the majority at the moment.

just go back and revisit any of the fucking "its not all about sex" threads and you'll see what bizarre convoluted rationalizations people use to avoid admitting that yup, it makes me fucking horny.

as to a bias? the switches feel there's an anti-switch bias, the male doms feel there's an anti-male dom bias, etc., etc., etc. personally i think the way any given question gets treated depends on the fucking positions of the sun, moon, and stars. a question asked one day can get you torn to fucking shreds, and the same question the next day will be discussed seriously. there's no real fucking rhyme or reason i have been able to discern <of course i don't really give a fuck, so maybe i just haven't really paid enough attention>.

and like chatte said, there's bound to be a bias here. "here" is made up of people and people are fucking biased. so the biases that are perceived are those shared by the majority of the posters who are active at that time.

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