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RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 3:40:21 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stacey4u2luv

Nobody should remove someones clit or brutalize anyones body without consent. i never said that should be allowed. in fact in the Muslim society i think it totally unfair that they need three witnesses to prove themselves innocent of a rape and only one man to say that they were bad for not being a virgin anymore. There is lots of unfairness in the world for situations such as this. Many people men or women suffer from verbal and domestic abuse and it is not right. He is not a fool to try to do something for society. I shared a thought that i had and wondered at the same time if he had seen my collar it was really a quick thought and is why i asked people to judge on the basis of not having much time to think of reaction from quick thoughts. If he is aware of BDSM and what he may or may not know, who knows right? i do wonder how aware people in the vanilla world are aware of our community and if so.... hence if so would he try to change opinion and would he regard this too as abuse and in that context yes maybe his opinions too would be to change our opinions if he view this as wrong. In that case he would be a fool as i would not change my way of life for anything.


You shared a thought that shows you to be overly self involved, narrow minded and a bit narcissitic.  You are still trying to find a way to justify your position and a way to call him a fool.

Quite frankly, the belief that random people are going to try to make you change your way of life is ridiculous.  Yes, you should change your life.  Why?  Because you are in need of therapy, not because of your lifestyle choices, but because of your inability to recognize that it isn't all about you.

(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 3:45:15 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stacey4u2luv

Now now that is just a blow below the belt saying that i think a woman of DV should sit back and take it. Obviously not she should get out and leave the situation and muscle up enough courage to do so. More clearly, i said if he has a different view point he may consider it the same thing. People in the vanilla world may consider all of us all twisted to an extent.


No, that is the way you are presenting yourself.  Even the comments above show you are completely ignorant of reality.  Really, get a grip, look outside your narrow little circle.  If you can't educate yourself on reality, live in your fantasy, but stop thinking that you represent people in this lifestyle.  From what I see in this post, you are what makes people think that BDSM/kinky people are sick and twisted.

(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 3:45:55 PM   
stacey4u2luv


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: stacey4u2luv

Nobody should remove someones clit or brutalize anyones body without consent. i never said that should be allowed. in fact in the Muslim society i think it totally unfair that they need three witnesses to prove themselves innocent of a rape and only one man to say that they were bad for not being a virgin anymore. There is lots of unfairness in the world for situations such as this. Many people men or women suffer from verbal and domestic abuse and it is not right. He is not a fool to try to do something for society. I shared a thought that i had and wondered at the same time if he had seen my collar it was really a quick thought and is why i asked people to judge on the basis of not having much time to think of reaction from quick thoughts. If he is aware of BDSM and what he may or may not know, who knows right? i do wonder how aware people in the vanilla world are aware of our community and if so.... hence if so would he try to change opinion and would he regard this too as abuse and in that context yes maybe his opinions too would be to change our opinions if he view this as wrong. In that case he would be a fool as i would not change my way of life for anything.


You shared a thought that shows you to be overly self involved, narrow minded and a bit narcissitic.  You are still trying to find a way to justify your position and a way to call him a fool.

Quite frankly, the belief that random people are going to try to make you change your way of life is ridiculous.  Yes, you should change your life.  Why?  Because you are in need of therapy, not because of your lifestyle choices, but because of your inability to recognize that it isn't all about you.



Thank you for your psychiatric evaluation Doctor, but i am not about to be twisted into everyone else s ways of thinking and accept differences in life. But am not about to give you my analysis of your opinions and quick to draw....

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 3:56:29 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
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quote:

Thank you for your psychiatric evaluation Doctor, but i am not about to be twisted into everyone else s ways of thinking and accept differences in life. But am not about to give you my analysis of your opinions and quick to draw....


why do you even come here and post if you want to stay ignorant? Please .. go and stick your head back in the sand.

She was right on target. You are way off in la-la land.




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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 3:57:09 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

Kinky triggers and snickers are one thing -- thinking someone's a fool for attempting to approach you about domestic violence is another...




I know a couple who is into violence in their relationship. Punching, slapping, throwing her around like a rag doll. And she begs for this. Its their kink. It upsets me to watch, but its still their kink. She knows just one word to me and I would have her out of there. But as long as she is happy.... and she is very, very happy... then its not my place to interfere.

Dont know a single woman of domestic violence who can say they are happy with their situations.


_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 4:03:11 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

Maybe it's just me, but all along I've been getting the subblier than thou feeling from the OP, and this pretty much nails it onto home plate.



Me too.  That along with the that being the ONLY thing that exists in her life.  Sad, really, really sad.

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 4:05:34 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stacey4u2luv

Thank you for your psychiatric evaluation Doctor, but i am not about to be twisted into everyone else s ways of thinking and accept differences in life. But am not about to give you my analysis of your opinions and quick to draw....


Nope, you can't accept difference in life.  Yours is all there is and all there ever will be.  I am eternally grateful that the rest of the world doesn't think like that.

As for you attempting to give and "analysis" of my opinions, you can't step outside your self absorbed box long enough to understand anyone else.  You have made that abundantly clear.

(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 4:07:25 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stacey4u2luv

Thoughts that i am currently having now that i am back home is you fool, do not approach a woman with a collar around her neck and ask her to discuss what you are doing there. lol Jesh, i do wonder if he knew what my collar was for or even if he saw it. haha


Goth fashion has choker style collars. You can google goth fashion collar... or even fashion choker collar... to realize that your fears are over magnified.

People of all kinks.. and those without kinks.. are wearing "collars" these days. To assume they are all in the "lifestyle" and that you are targeted because you wear one....




< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 12/6/2011 4:08:06 PM >


_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 4:36:51 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

Kinky triggers and snickers are one thing -- thinking someone's a fool for attempting to approach you about domestic violence is another...




I know a couple who is into violence in their relationship. Punching, slapping, throwing her around like a rag doll. And she begs for this. Its their kink. It upsets me to watch, but its still their kink. She knows just one word to me and I would have her out of there. But as long as she is happy.... and she is very, very happy... then its not my place to interfere.

Dont know a single woman of domestic violence who can say they are happy with their situations.



I can relate to that. I like physical violence, too. I like being punched, slapped, choked, thrown around, whatever. But consensual physical violence and nonconsensual "domestic violence" are two different things -- even if they may look exactly the same, the behind-the-scenes stuff is what makes the difference. Plus, you know -- I know someone who loves me isn't out to kill me, and some DV victims have no idea if today's beating will be the last one and if tonight will be their last night PERIOD. They are two entirely different things, and I'm just baffled that the OP would even think to equate them.
It screams "lack of empathy" and "lack of reality."

My favorite aunt was a victim of DV. Her "boyfriend" pulled her hair out of her scalp, bruised and bloodied her all over, he even hung her dog by his collar and almost killed him in order to torment her. The day he came to our house to get her was the day I was most glad that my relatives had a stockpile of guns.

Domestic violence isn't fun, it isn't hot, it isn't good in any way. It's nothing at all like consensual BDSM.
If all you can think when you see a "stop violence against women" sign is "well, i like being 'abused'" -- i mean, puh-LEASE, it's not abuse anyway -- then you need a reality check. big time.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 12/6/2011 4:40:05 PM >


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 5:03:43 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
I can totally relate. This girl loves her man, and he loves her. If she said "no more" I have no doubt he would never hit her again. When she was pregnant, she complained to me that he wouldnt even slap her. She is hard core maso. And he is hard core in love with her.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/6/2011 5:44:54 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

ahhhh but yes, how often though do you say, please use me
Maybe once or twice. Asking for stuff outside of straight sex just isn't my way, besides it happens pretty regularly so there really is no need to ask.
quote:

take me totally
Several times a day
quote:

abuse me
Never, unless it was as a joke on the boards.
quote:

just waiting around to be used
Never. 100% certain of this one.
quote:

i love being used, tormented and abused by you
Never. "I love being tormented by you", yes, but not the others.
quote:

i am yours to use and abuse
I seriously doubt I ever have. Like I said, she doesn't abuse me, so why would I accuse her of it?


(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 5:20:52 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
Stacey, Stacey, Stacey, Stacey, Stacey, Stacey.

I have the urge to say something mean. Instead I am going to say something that won't make me look as good as saying something mean would. Before I do, I will take time to mention that I am glad that you have a domestic situation that you appreciate.

Hang on tight, cause this wont be fun.

My dad threw his baby sister into the mill pond.  She was crying. She stopped.

My dad put his elder sister into an institution for life. Brain damage.

My dad crippled his younger brother and eldest son. Brain damage.

My dad tossed a radio into a bath, electrocuting a girl who didn't want to see him any more.

My dad bashed her new boyfriends head in with a tire iron.

My dad named his first daughter after the girl he electrocuted. And when she was old enough, he raped her.

I could go on for a while yet. But if you don't get it yet, you never will.

My dad went to prison, but for none of the above. It seems that sticking a shotgun in someones face and saying, "Give me the money" is taken a little more seriously than any or all of the above. This is not appropriate. A baby in a millpond is at least as serious as serial shotgun robbery. Realigning our justice system to point in the direction it ought to is a monumental task. It seems sometimes like it simply cannot be done. It is one of those HEROIC tasks that often goes unrecognized as one. That is what Dudley Dooright was up to when he approached you at the mall. He was not trying to protect you from your husband. He was trying to protect you from my father.

There are monsters in this world, Stacy. And some of us know some of them. You can bet your ass Dudley Dooright does. If, as it seems, you don't, well then, AREN'T YOU LUCKY.

Welcome to Planet Earth, Stacey You don't have to pitch in and help, but that would be nice.

I trust everyone else is going to forget I said these things, or at least make the distinction that I am not my father.

Thanks.
FF


_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 5:25:11 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline
Frosted Flake- hugs to you.
OP~ You still don't seem to "get" it. You just keep defending your lifestyle choices, yet no one is arguing against them, only trying to show you the difference. You seem to think being in the lifestyle that we are makes you part of some sort of secret society that the rest of the world is horrified with...when it reality..we just aren't that special.


_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 5:41:07 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
Ai yaaaa FrostedFlake... here are *hugs* if you'd like them.



_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 6:58:32 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stacey4u2luv

on the booth it says stop abuse against women your thoughts are....????

My thoughts were but, i wanna be used and abused by Master. i kept right on walking when the guy tried to talk to me. For some reason i was not sticking around and talking. Now try to imagine you do not have as much time to think about it as i just did, the both is there you read it and the man starts talking as you were walking past.


Stacey,
The booth is there because there is a need for it.

You say you want to be used and abused by your master.
And the key is in the word want.
Want means you consent to this and consent is not abuse.

What I am wondering about is do you really know the difference considering you feel comfortable equating the 2.

He was there at the booth doing outreach work.
If he had been doing outreach work for some other social issue such as low-income heating assistance, you would not have been bothered by it, and instead you seem to feel he was singling you out personally.
He was just there doing his job as it were (paid or not - and likely not) and spoke to you.

You see it as significant in a way that you haven't been able to convey effectively here.

You were wearing your collar; fine, were you wearing any marks from your last session of "abuse"? If you weren't then his attempting to engage you was nothing personal.



_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

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(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 6:59:49 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
Thank you, Stacey, for the confusing email.

Unfortunately it is too late to edit the post out.

... Rats.
FF
Hugs appreciated.

Postscript :
quote:

AngelikaJ

...What I am wondering about is do you really know the difference...


No. Even I couldn't get the point across. And you see how clear I was.

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 12/7/2011 7:06:54 AM >


_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 7:22:45 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
Which boils all down to a Ron White quote.

"You can't fix stupid."

FF.......thank you for the story. The OP is too dense to get it but the OP isn't the only person reading it.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 7:29:27 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stacey4u2luv

on the booth it says stop abuse against women your thoughts are....????



As to your actual question, my thoughts are:
I am grateful for the booth, the pamphlets and the person (regardless of gender) who is manning it.

My thoughts are: I am glad I now know the difference between dominant and domineering and that without the ability to say no and have that "No" be heard and respected then "Yes" and consent have no real meaning.

My thoughts are I hope no women (or men) whose significant others tells they are going to kill them and then nearly chokes the life out of them gets the message that their life is worth less than a stolen car because the state's attorney tells them that because there "were no broken bones it is only a misdemeanor assault".

My thoughts are I hope we can end dating violence in jr high and high school.

My thoughts are with the women who equate domestic violence with being loved because that is how their daddies loved their mothers.

My thoughts are with the children whose mother is in the hospital or morgue today because her love interest beat her.

Those are my thoughts, along with gratitude for the relationship I have with my Master today and an awareness of just how lucky I am that he didn't succeed on 12/ 28/1996.


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 7:43:03 AM   
notthetongs


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/16/2010
From: FL
Status: offline
The "abuse" you enjoy isn't really abuse.  You can pretend it is, but it isn't.  Kind of like when people say, "No, please... stop!" when we all know that it isn't going to stop until the safe word is spoken.  You can tell somebody, "I love it when you abuse me," and the actions performed may be the exact same actions done in a case of abuse, but the intent is not the same.  The feelings you take from it are not the genuine feelings of a victim of abuse, or you wouldn't find pleasure in it.


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~NtT

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: You see a booth in a mall and - 12/7/2011 8:18:11 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

on the booth it says stop abuse against women your thoughts are....????


I think good for you for fighting the good fight, maybe toss a few bucks.

It wouldn't even cross my mind to mistake what I do in BDSM with abuse-they are two completely different things, not apples and oranges cuz those are both fruits but more like water and rubbing alcohol-two colorless things that look similar, but one sustains  life and the other can kill ya if ya drink it


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to stacey4u2luv)
Profile   Post #: 80
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