RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (Full Version)

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LillyBoPeep -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:24:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

Men have more than one use so being a sex toy is easier to hide, people look at a dildo and know exactly why you have it and what you do with it... [&:]


Good point!



ashjor911 -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:30:06 AM)

[sm=anger.gif][sm=anger.gif][sm=banghead.gif][sm=banghead.gif]



LaTigresse -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:31:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

Men have more than one use so being a sex toy is easier to hide, people look at a dildo and know exactly why you have it and what you do with it... [&:]


Good point!


Old dildos are recyclable. They make great teething puppy chew toys! (even when that was NOT what they were supposed to be...)



BurntKitty -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:32:28 AM)

You know we love ya Ash!



kalikshama -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:32:47 AM)

Why Dildos are Better than Men

- You can put a dildo in the drawer when you are done and it WILL BE THERE the next time you need him.
- Dildos do not care if you have six or seven of them at a time.
- You do not have to buy condoms for him.
- You never expect a dildo to call you back so you do not sit around and wait for the fucking phone to ring.
- lf you get pissed off at the dildo and hack it off no one calls the cops.
- lf a dildo gets tired all you have to do is shove an EverReady up his ass.
- A dildo never says, " Honey you getting fat or what? " see # 5
- A dildo never ask you to go get him a beer after he is done with you.
- A dildo is ALWAYS HARD.
- A dildo never needs a shave.
- Once you are done you can leave him in you and he will stay there.
- A dildo never asks " Was it good for you?" so you do not have to lie.
- A dildo in a drawer is easier to explain that a lover in a closet.
- A dildo never asks for a divorce because he has found a younger chick.
- lf you break it during sex you can throw him out and go buy a new one.
- You do not have to share your pot with him.
- A dildo never wants to hog the remote.
- A dildo never leaves the seat up.
- A dildo IS smarter than most men!
- If you share him with your best friend he will not sneak out behind your back and do her again.
- You do not need to have a EPT test kit in the bathroom.
- You can cut the balls off of a dildo to get him all the way in.
- The dildo in the glove box never bitches about the way you drive.
- Dildos never demand a blow job, which leads to:
- A dildo will NEVER CUM IN YOUR MOUTH.
- A dildo never says " Ah come on baby just let me put the head in your ass."
- Getting real fucking drunk and waking up with a strange dildo in you is way better than waking with a strange man.
- It is way better to catch your daughter playing with your dildo than your boyfriend.
- You never have to name a kid after the U.S. Novelty Company.
- An old dildo works just as good as a brand new one.
- If your sister uses your dildo you can just wash it off and it will be good as new.
- Dildos hardly ever win a court case and take half of everything you own.
- If you take a dildo on vacation it is way easier to pack for.
- Unless he is really huge, you do not have to buy a seat on the plane when you take him with you.
- lf you get real busy and do not use him for a week or two he does not throw shit around the house and grumble or go out with the " boys".



GreedyTop -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:33:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

[sm=anger.gif][sm=anger.gif][sm=banghead.gif][sm=banghead.gif]



Ash. you have proven yourself (IMO) to be NOT of the class of idjits that most of us refer to.



LaTigresse -> RE: Why dildos are better in bed than a man ..!! (12/16/2011 11:34:34 AM)

Kali that ROCKS![:D]



Tantriqu -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:37:31 AM)

Here's the real story [disclaimer: I love love *love* real and good men]:

20 reasons why a Vibrator is Better than a Man:
A vibe:
1. has variable speeds
2. is always ready, willing and able
3. would never wear a mullet and pale-blue disco tux to your brother's wedding
4. is never moody, yet always in the mood
5. costs pennies to maintain
6. doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or get stupid tattoos
7. doesn't talk about cars or sports as if they're more important than a cure for cancer
8. would never lie, cheat, steal, or carry STDs, and nobody gets pregnant
9. doesn't snore, burp, fart or ask me to look at what it produced in the toilet
10 gives me a fast, hard, reliable orgasm EVERY SINGLE TIME, any day and time I want
11 doesn't mind when I just want to fall asleep after I come
12 doesn't buy me whorish underwear yet wear ten-year old grandpa underpants
13 doesn't stop to check its cellphone
14 doesn't care that I fantasise about other men
15 doesn't care when I let another vibe or man join in on the fun
16 doesn't compare me to his car, dog, mom, or ex-
17 doesn't need an hour of pampering and sucking [up to] to perform
18 is alway hard, long, and ready to go as long as I want [as long as the power's not out]
19 doesn't stay out all night without me

And the best reason of all,

If it whines, I just get a new one!


Edited to add: sorry, didn't realise there was already another list posted!]



GreedyTop -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:42:42 AM)

*loves Tantriqu*



ashjor911 -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:43:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Why Dildos are Better than Men

- You can put a dildo in the drawer when you are done and it WILL BE THERE the next time you need him.
- Dildos do not care if you have six or seven of them at a time.
- You do not have to buy condoms for him.
- You never expect a dildo to call you back so you do not sit around and wait for the fucking phone to ring.
- lf you get pissed off at the dildo and hack it off no one calls the cops.
- lf a dildo gets tired all you have to do is shove an EverReady up his ass.
- A dildo never says, " Honey you getting fat or what? " see # 5
- A dildo never ask you to go get him a beer after he is done with you.
- A dildo is ALWAYS HARD.
- A dildo never needs a shave.
- Once you are done you can leave him in you and he will stay there.
- A dildo never asks " Was it good for you?" so you do not have to lie.
- A dildo in a drawer is easier to explain that a lover in a closet.
- A dildo never asks for a divorce because he has found a younger chick.
- lf you break it during sex you can throw him out and go buy a new one.
- You do not have to share your pot with him.
- A dildo never wants to hog the remote.
- A dildo never leaves the seat up.
- A dildo IS smarter than most men! (now that is just mean)
- If you share him with your best friend he will not sneak out behind your back and do her again.
- You do not need to have a EPT test kit in the bathroom.
- You can cut the balls off of a dildo to get him all the way in. (Shit tell me you did not do that .... please)
- The dildo in the glove box never bitches about the way you drive.
- Dildos never demand a blow job, which leads to:
- A dildo will NEVER CUM IN YOUR MOUTH.
- A dildo never says " Ah come on baby just let me put the head in your ass."
- Getting real fucking drunk and waking up with a strange dildo in you is way better than waking with a strange man.
- It is way better to catch your daughter playing with your dildo than your boyfriend.
- You never have to name a kid after the U.S. Novelty Company.
- An old dildo works just as good as a brand new one.
- If your sister uses your dildo you can just wash it off and it will be good as new.
- Dildos hardly ever win a court case and take half of everything you own.
- If you take a dildo on vacation it is way easier to pack for.
- Unless he is really huge, you do not have to buy a seat on the plane when you take him with you.
- lf you get real busy and do not use him for a week or two he does not throw shit around the house and grumble or go out with the " boys".




kalikshama..... you can not call a dildo ... "HIM"

this is a Code Red .... Men all over CM.... get your asses here we are losing.....to some blasic penis.....
Shit
Code Red.... Code Red...



GreedyTop -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:44:57 AM)

Ash.. we have already established that YOU are an exception :)



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:47:40 AM)

Shall I start in on the various objects that can be USED as dildos?[:D]




ashjor911 -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:52:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
- A dildo is ALWAYS HARD.


you dont want "it" to be hard when you are done, some freak out every time, coz iam still hard, or after 30 seconds.
& when i say that she is to hot, i got slap in the face....
sometimes they think that i did not enjoy it or there is something wrong " i did not satisfy myself"... WTF?



ashjor911 -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:54:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
Edited to add: sorry, didn't realise there was already another list posted!]


its even meaner.... your list.



ashjor911 -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:57:15 AM)

I know, but their lists are mean .. [8|]



tj444 -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 11:58:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
Edited to add: sorry, didn't realise there was already another list posted!]


its even meaner.... your list.

unintended consequences of your original blatantly biased advert, huh?
[sm=rofl.gif]

eta- even tho guys are a lot of trouble, I do prefer them.. [:)]



Tantriqu -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 12:02:14 PM)

Sometimes, the truth hurts . . . [8|]

quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
Edited to add: sorry, didn't realise there was already another list posted!]

its even meaner.... your list.




GreedyTop -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 12:05:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

I know, but their lists are mean .. [8|]


yes, they are. And mostly, I agree. BUT!!!!!!!!!!

(and this is a biggie)

YOU, as far as I am(and several others are) concerned,..ARE AN EXCEPTION!!
so, dear Ash.. this thread does NOT reflect upon you at all..



kalikshama -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 12:24:44 PM)

quote:

this is a Code Red .... Men all over CM.... get your asses here we are losing.....to some plastic penis.....


[sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]



ashjor911 -> RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! (12/16/2011 12:47:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Shall I start in on the various objects that can be USED as dildos?[:D]




Please dont...... do you want me to get on my knees & beg?

I had a electric blackout, which can be on your dildo sometimes,
Men dont need Electricity.... some food will do it...



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