RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my lack of life skills?

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 6:31:57 AM

outhere69

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I'm curious about the demon in the shorts. Was that original equipment, or aftermarket?

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 7:38:00 AM

seababy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

Sorry seababy not to hijack the thread but are you saying unless someone has a successful high paying job and enjoys the bounty of the Brady Bunch as family they lack life skills?

No. You have made a giant assumption that because I have said I have healthy loving relationships that means I was born into some kind of idealistic privileged family enviroment. I've worked towards the relationships I have now.
I'm refering not to people in unfortunate circumstance but people who create unhealthy relationships around themselves due to their toxicity or their lack of relationship skills. Surely you do believe that their are people out there who DO lack relationship skills?

I work a decent paying temp job---yep it's dead end BUT I like it because once this assignment is done I can do something else interact with new people actually I am even thinking of working in my partners area the next time around because the temp agency is all over the state---I can work there part of the week because the pay is much higher there and keep my apartment here.

Actually I dont think thats a dead end job temping is how I worked my way up.

I make no judgement on people who decide as a life balance not to go for high profile jobs.

I do question if its sensible for me as a person who had spent alot of time and effort building a career selecting a partner who would not value, or understand the energy and commitment that had taken.

As my dominant they would be making decisions that could and probably would influence my work. I'm not going to consider compatible someone who has spent their adult life living in mums basement because he doesn't want to worry about getting a job until his finally tired of playing world of warcraft . Do you think thats unreasonable of me?

I don't equate the lack of money with lifeskills, one guy who I was getting serious about was fully supported by very well off parents, he had money but I still didn't think he was suitable to make my career decisions for me.

And as for loving family--well sure I have my children BUT growing up my family was pretty fucked up and far from loving normal family.

I think living the way I do ADDS to my life skills---being poor adds to lives skills---for example I can take what I have in the fridge and make a meal out of it that tastes good that no one else has tried making before. I can find the best deals for example I just got my daughter a lap top and the exact cell phone she wanted for Christmas for under $200.00

I've left my well paid job and I'm currently living as a noodle eating uni student and I don't consider myself less successful now. You are arguing for nothing I don't judge people as you are assuming I do.

But you did say you were a fan of Castle Realm (Friggin what!? I'd love to see you find that quote. Ok that made me laugh) so now I sort of understand. No actually I am the complete opposite so that snark falls on its arse.

Well this has been pointless but fun. I gather the Castle Realm dig was about me not being what? In touch with reality?
I'm simply not going to allow my libido to have the final say as to what relationship I get into. In a power exchange relationship you don't want to hand over to someone not compatible or clueless. I know there are great dominants out there and I'd rather wait.

Cheers

Sea

< Message edited by seababy -- 1/4/2012 7:39:19 AM >

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 9:43:25 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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FragilePieces,

I'm the one who said I liked CastleRealm, and as far as I can tell no one else in this thread did so. I suppose that means the insult was directed at me. Which is ok. Just wanted to clear up that particular miscommunication.

WinD

edited to change a pronoun that might have caused further confusion.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/4/2012 9:45:31 AM >

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 10:12:38 AM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Stop pondering my shorts. No, wait... a little Exercise might do me a world of good!

Oh! ExorCISM! I think I'll pass. But thanks for thinking of me, I think.

I am positive a shortsdemonexorcism would involve much fun and contortion, and possibly whisky. If you change your mind, LMK!

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Post #: 64

RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 10:36:21 AM

mummyman321

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Stop pondering my shorts. No, wait... a little Exercise might do me a world of good!

Oh! ExorCISM! I think I'll pass. But thanks for thinking of me, I think.

I am positive a shortsdemonexorcism would involve much fun and contortion, and possibly whisky. If you change your mind, LMK!

FF some opportunities shouldn't be passed up!

< Message edited by mummyman321 -- 1/4/2012 10:40:18 AM >

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 10:47:20 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Tell him, Mummyman!!

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 11:13:33 AM

MistrixMsE

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Kana... so many bonus points for the idi amin line...

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 1:58:03 PM

FrostedFlake

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quote:

I am positive a shortsdemonexorcism would involve much fun and contortion, and possibly whisky. If you change your mind, LMK!

Oh, Thank Steve!

I thought you were talking about calling in a Priest!

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 2:14:49 PM

fragilepieces

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

Sorry seababy not to hijack the thread but are you saying unless someone has a successful high paying job and enjoys the bounty of the Brady Bunch as family they lack life skills?

No. You have made a giant assumption that because I have said I have healthy loving relationships that means I was born into some kind of idealistic privileged family enviroment. I've worked towards the relationships I have now.
I'm refering not to people in unfortunate circumstance but people who create unhealthy relationships around themselves due to their toxicity or their lack of relationship skills. Surely you do believe that their are people out there who DO lack relationship skills?

I work a decent paying temp job---yep it's dead end BUT I like it because once this assignment is done I can do something else interact with new people actually I am even thinking of working in my partners area the next time around because the temp agency is all over the state---I can work there part of the week because the pay is much higher there and keep my apartment here.

Actually I dont think thats a dead end job temping is how I worked my way up.

I make no judgement on people who decide as a life balance not to go for high profile jobs.

I do question if its sensible for me as a person who had spent alot of time and effort building a career selecting a partner who would not value, or understand the energy and commitment that had taken.

As my dominant they would be making decisions that could and probably would influence my work. I'm not going to consider compatible someone who has spent their adult life living in mums basement because he doesn't want to worry about getting a job until his finally tired of playing world of warcraft . Do you think thats unreasonable of me?

I don't equate the lack of money with lifeskills, one guy who I was getting serious about was fully supported by very well off parents, he had money but I still didn't think he was suitable to make my career decisions for me.

And as for loving family--well sure I have my children BUT growing up my family was pretty fucked up and far from loving normal family.

I think living the way I do ADDS to my life skills---being poor adds to lives skills---for example I can take what I have in the fridge and make a meal out of it that tastes good that no one else has tried making before. I can find the best deals for example I just got my daughter a lap top and the exact cell phone she wanted for Christmas for under $200.00

I've left my well paid job and I'm currently living as a noodle eating uni student and I don't consider myself less successful now. You are arguing for nothing I don't judge people as you are assuming I do.

But you did say you were a fan of Castle Realm (Friggin what!? I'd love to see you find that quote. Ok that made me laugh) so now I sort of understand. No actually I am the complete opposite so that snark falls on its arse.

Well this has been pointless but fun. I gather the Castle Realm dig was about me not being what? In touch with reality?
I'm simply not going to allow my libido to have the final say as to what relationship I get into. In a power exchange relationship you don't want to hand over to someone not compatible or clueless. I know there are great dominants out there and I'd rather wait.

Cheers

Sea

You did post something from Castle Realm did you not? And I am ever so sorry that I 'forgot' to add tone and laughter with my pun about you being a 'Castle Realm fan'---sorry to those who love it---the site was so highly romanticized it make me want to puke...nuff said about that site I've not had dinner yet.

And thanks for clearing up what you meant in the OP---this economy totally sucks right now and there are TONS of people out of work---people that made really good money are now facing loosing their homes so really I would hate to see some decent Dom tossed to the curb for his lack of 'life skills' because he is unemployed.

I guess I was not following your point and not on the same page---again much thanks for clearing that up.

And really really sorry to WinsomeDefiance I honestly don't care if you like Castle Realm---shrugs many people including my partner ( he better not have grrrr) cut their teeth on it. I think I might have went there once myself shudders.

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 2:33:19 PM

seababy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

quote:

I am positive a shortsdemonexorcism would involve much fun and contortion, and possibly whisky. If you change your mind, LMK!

Oh, Thank Steve!

I thought you were talking about calling in a Priest!

That would be a kink too far for me

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 3:21:09 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

You did post something from Castle Realm did you not? And I am ever so sorry that I 'forgot' to add tone and laughter with my pun about you being a 'Castle Realm fan'---

She's not a fan. She said at one point she was a fan and has since realized that it's internet pap.

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/4/2012 3:24:50 PM

fragilepieces

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

You did post something from Castle Realm did you not? And I am ever so sorry that I 'forgot' to add tone and laughter with my pun about you being a 'Castle Realm fan'---

She's not a fan. She said at one point she was a fan and has since realized that it's internet pap.

Nope I did not leave the quotes off this time---see them quotes---even I seen them and I desperately need new glasses....

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 4:28:19 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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Here's the thing about Castle Realm, and romanticizing of things. After a time, many people get jaded and lose some of that enthusiasm that was felt when they first began exploring BDSM/D's/M's etc. Castle Realm gets trashed a lot, by people who have been around the block a few times, and can remember the site. Honestly, if I read the site for the first time now, I"d very likely roll my eyes and snort - but, someone new to exploring these aspects of their sexuality might not. When so many sneer at romanticism and naive enthusiasms, it can be disheartening for those not so calloused and jaded as the rest of us.

Truth of the matter is, I look back fondly on my first explorations of BDSM and D/s etc. Castle Realm was the first and only place at that time (that I knew of), that had any grouped together links and it is how I came across the first mention of Munches and play parties etc. Despite its bad reputation, I think it actually was insightful and useful, for its time. I also think that it doesn't hurt for people to stop and reminisce a bit about how it was those first times, since it might help us to remember to be a bit kinder and patient with others who are entering into things with a little less jade and a bit more rosy hues - if that makes any sense.

Also, I think that sometimes it is helpful to others to hear another expressing an opposing train of thought to what is being expressed by the majority. It isn't going to hurt my feelings that people don't like Castle Realm. I completely understand where the scorn and derision is coming from. I just don't happen to share in it. Sometimes, I wish I still had that first bloom of enthusiasm about such things as I once did. I definitely enjoy seeing it in others, and for those who like a bit of romanticism, I say kudos.

Anyway, I hope my explanation is taken in the spirit it was offered as it wasn't intended to be insulting to anyone. Just a bit of my thoughts on the matter.

WinD

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 4:48:03 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
When so many sneer at romanticism and naive enthusiasms, it can be disheartening for those not so calloused and jaded as the rest of us.

It has nothing to do with being jaded or calloused (at least for me). Castlerealm is mostly fantasy and is not a sustainable way of life 24/7 - 365.

I actually think it does a disservice to novices. It promotes an unrealistic vision, one true way-ism and in some cases was flat out false. ie: a submissive not accompanied by a Dominant to a munch isn't welcome. It's probably responsible for quite a few jaded people that made decisions based on that website.

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 4:53:21 PM

fragilepieces

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quote:

Also, I think that sometimes it is helpful to others to hear another expressing an opposing train of thought to what is being expressed by the majority.

I agree with you completely and that is one of the reasons I dislike Castle Realm because back in the day when I came online nearly everyone I knew followed some sort of rule they had adopted from that website. God ten years ago, if you disrespected the Castle you got tossed out of an MSN chatroom by one of the hammers. Time changes things---

quote:

I wish I still had that first bloom of enthusiasm about such things as I once did

I understand this however, I really don't want to be the person I was 10 years ago when I first discovered the net or the person I was 20+ years ago when I met my first Dom and learned there was a name for my desires.

I am not jaded or calloused, I just know me better, I know who I am inside, I know what I want in a partner, and in a relationship and I am not afraid to fulfill those needs. I've learned patience, I have learned communication, I have learned to follow my gut and my instinct, I have learned to stand up for myself, learned to be independent, learned to get a back bone, and learned how to get back on my feet after life knocked me on my ass. If I had to teach to give advise to any new submissive I'd be straight up---this isn't all sunshine and lollipops--it's fun but it isn't easy. That advice was never on Castle Realm.

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 5:05:13 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
When so many sneer at romanticism and naive enthusiasms, it can be disheartening for those not so calloused and jaded as the rest of us.

It has nothing to do with being jaded or calloused (at least for me). Castlerealm is mostly fantasy and is not a sustainable way of life 24/7 - 365.

I actually think it does a disservice to novices. It promotes an unrealistic vision, one true way-ism and in some cases was flat out false. ie: a submissive not accompanied by a Dominant to a munch isn't welcome. It's probably responsible for quite a few jaded people that made decisions based on that website.

I understand what you are saying, and agree (mostly). I don't remember the website that way, and granted my memory sucks, so I don't see it the way you do. I also think that if people make decisions based off websites, well.....that's a bit of a darwin awards topic really

I also think I was doing a great deal of projecting. I freely admit to being more than a bit jaded and I have my share of callouses too. So, I might have been getting the wrong impressions as to why people are so negative regarding the old website.

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 5:49:56 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I also think that if people make decisions based off websites, well.....that's a bit of a darwin awards topic really

Really? When you were new, weren't you looking for someone that had the answers?

This website was written by real people (I assume) and novices turned to that website to tell them what to look for in a Dominant, what's attractive in a submissive, how a D/s relationship works. They didn't have the experience to understand that it was a very narrow view. Let's face it, how many people do we see on this website with fluffy, "true", rose colored expectations? (They even argue with experienced people about them) They throw themselves into relationships because being collared is some sort of brass ring that legitimizes them and will deliver the "fluff" projected by that website. Then they're back complaining about how he wasn't a "real" Dom.

They sold a really good fantasy.

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 6:25:34 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

I think living the way I do ADDS to my life skills---being poor adds to lives skills---for example I can take what I have in the fridge and make a meal out of it that tastes good that no one else has tried making before. I can find the best deals for example I just got my daughter a lap top and the exact cell phone she wanted for Christmas for under $200.00

You're fooling yourself if you think those who AREN'T "poor" don't possess these same "skills" as well.

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 6:36:08 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

...life skills, as a concept, are bullshit.

Yet "life skills", as a reality, are NOT "bullshit".

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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 1/6/2012 7:49:54 PM

seababy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

...life skills, as a concept, are bullshit.

Yet "life skills", as a reality, are NOT "bullshit".