Casteele
Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline
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Good points, and I can see where I certainly could have worded a few things better (or at least posted when I was not so tired :-P).. More for me to think on. In truth, that's one thing I love about the CM forums, it's one of the few places that challenge me to learn how to better articulate many of the thoughts and feelings I have. I'm still not sure how to articulate some of the thoughts I've had just reading this thread (and others, but trying to stay somewhat on topic here)..
Regarding word use, perhaps I approached it from the wrong direction--from the passive stance of the listener/reader.. I understand there is no universal meaning for every single word (or phrase like "life skills") and there will always be differences, but every word is generally understood to have a meaning that others will understand when they read (or hear) the word, else there would be no effective communication. It's complicated by the fact that many words have different meanings when used in different contexts. For myself, I always try to look beyond the exact words used by someone as I read them, and try to focus on what I believe the writer is trying to say, not how they say it. Something I often see on threads here and why these thoughts came to the front in my mind, are the "that's not what I said" or "thats not what I meant" type statements, or the posts disagreeing with a specific word(s) used, and so on.
Living with someone with whom English is their third language rather than their primary, I've learned that many words do indeed have precise meanings in specific contexts, and others can easily remain ambiguous even with extensive clarification. Like my use of the word "attack" in my previous post. I still stand by what I meant, although I'm not sure what word would be more suitable for what I meant. From my debate/discussion training/view, an attack on a statement isn't a bad or negative thing itself, it's simply an attempt by one side to dispute/refute, neutralize, or negate a statement made by the other. Neither side was negative or got personal with the other, but there are clearly at least two different opinions, and one seems considerably less popular than the other(s).
Same for community. I see us here at CM as a community, just as I see the people on FL a community; The boundaries that bind and separate only exist in cyberspace, both bounded by their site addresses. Some people are members of both, some of only one, some of neither (although I don't expect to hear much from those :-P). I do agree there is no such thing as a global BDSM community that encompasses all possible thoughts and ideals, and people whom often use the term in that context really just mean "in my experience with the communities I've been part of.." And personally, I've found that by reminding myself of that, I've been more often able to overlook their use of the term and focus better on what they were trying to say rather than let their poor choice of words/meanings blot it out completely.
Now, the hardest part for me to articulate right now is why I brought this all up and why I actually think it is very much on topic.. I'm looking more at the interactions of all of this in the various posts, both in this thread and others.. I've known and been part of many discussion forums and sites over the years, and on nearly every one of them I've meet and engaged people whom speak as if it's all a game; it's just cyberspace, make believe, not real (I'm highlighting the personality type here, not necessarily commenting on their views). In private messages with these people, I often see a pattern where they make comments to the effect of "look at how seriously that person takes all this, they must be totally inept social retards to take this so seriously!" Some of the things I was highlighting in my post were things I would commonly see those people highlight in those private messages as justification for.. making a judgment that their views are more acceptable and healthy than the views of those others. Isn't that what the OP was questioning, at least partially?
Of course, I was also trying to point out that these are things we all do, myself included, since we're all just mere foolish mortals after all. So no matter what you may think, do, or believe, there will be various perspective that place each and every one of us in a position that would seem to clearly indicate we all lack any "life skills," and just as many that will believe we clearly show a very well-adjusted and healthy view on life.
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RE: Submissive personality traits - rescue me from my l... - 
), but this is an interesting topic so I thought I'd sacrifice some of my considerable celebrity and take a series of unpopular stands on it. After all, what is life without good enemies, right? 
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. I feel like I spend half my life scratching my head and staring at the world in bafflement, and the other half trying to avoid the cow patties and land mines of social weirdness. 
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