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slaverachel2Him -> RE: My fantasy, now a reality... (1/8/2012 9:37:13 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: femdomlover72
I am experiencing something I have dreamed of my entire adult life. I am a live in slave to one of the most gorgeous Dommes anywhere. For the sake of discretion I won't mention Her name, unless She gives me permission. I don't really care if people believe this post or not. I am living it, it is so real now, it doesn't matter to me what others think. She regularly humiliates me in front of Her roomates. I am made to serve in front of Her lover, Her friends, anyone who happens to be in the house. It is very different from what I imagined, and so like what I imagined. It is far more intense, and deep than I thought it would be. It runs way beyond fantasy, and fetish. I have served Her for over a year, but this has changed all the dynamics of our relationship.
Some things hurt, like being shown what my place is in Her eyes. Yesterday, I noticed Her doing something with strangers she said she would not do, and never with me. Nothing sexual or BDSM related, but significant to me just the same. I asked her about it because it hurt my feelings. She blasted me, and made it very clear that I was beneath Her and that it did not matter what I felt or thought. That hurts, but I accept it. She made it very clear what my place was, what my role was. I realize now that I was wrong. The rules, what She says, and does, can change at anytime, and even contradict what She says and I must accept that if I am to be Her slave. I thought about it, and I accepted it because I do want to be Her slave, more than anything in life. I know, more than ever now, that I am simply Her slave, meant to serve and amuse Her at Her whim. She is not overly concerned with my feelings, and does not want to talk about them most of the time. Some of the realities of being a real time live in slave can be painful, but I am finding that I am willing to accept them for the privilege of serving Her.
Maybe you believe me, maybe you don't, I just need an outlet to express what I am going through. Even though I have been Her slave for over a year now I am still new to many things. There are so many things that you don't consider when you dream about being a personal slave. Be careful what you wish for, in my case I got it. More than I ever dreamed possible, and I love it, even when it hurts.
So- a tentative congratulations. i think the situation is going to be temporary because you are going to tire of too many arbitrary changes- and instability. UNLESS it kinks you. You are free to walk at any time, slave or not- so as long as it floats your boat...
There are some M/s relationships in which there is a kink for the slave to be "just there" and having no consideration in any way. Those relationships are like fireworks. They look great for a short while and burn out within a year or so.
If she "blasts" you and messes with you some off and on and it is exciting, and otherwise is positive, then it might not be such a problem. Many slaves have extreme kink for chattel, humiliation, objectification. i do for all of the above. People vary by degrees. Intensity and also duration. Whether it is do-able in that extreme ALL the time, with NO time, pleasure or room for you, i don't know.
Usually when people get together- even those that CLAIM no limits and no negotiations have established both under different semantics. The slave or Master doesn't just respond to a random email "Come here, now." and just go, wondering who emailed them. The chat, compare kinks over time aka mutual pleasure, aversions aka limits and safety. Those into TPE LTR should ALSO be discussing health insurance costs, property assignments, Wills (all for both), responsibilities, and everything from bedtimes, to how many restrictions etc. Diet control? Friends and relatives? i know of slaves who are allowed to have their friends come to visit- BUT if visiting the live in slave at the Master's home, the slave must remain naked. Is THAT going to be OKAY? Not all slave's friends are into BDSM perhaps. How about sex? Is anal okay? scat, piss, vomit, blood? There is a lot of PREdiscussion needed. A Master or Mistress is NOT going to be happy having a major kink and the slave can't do it without throwing up (unless vomit is also a kink which is pretty rare) or won't do it. The slave is going to be upset because it didn't come up. Anyway- they size each other up in some way before they get together, make sure each other is a real person and not an anime, going to have some respect or caring for the slave as a living being if only that, and most importantly not a psycho.
So- slaves who are experienced no matter what they say- have limits, they choose their Masters and Mistresses by THEIR limits. Then they say "My Master sets the limits." And WHO consents to the Master??? The slave. NO brainer. There ARE limits- agreed upon or expanded into. Limits by default. Master Richard has more limits than i do. i am truly in the usual sense of the word, a no limits slave. He is free to do anything He wants. LOL Even more.
Many if not most in M/s agree. Once in- the slave is to submit and obey-(to avoid freaking people: of course abuse is never okay, abuse being nonconsenual, or coersion to damage, CNC is okay) Renegotiation is frowned upon (happens in reality) the slave is expected to work at wrapping their minds around total power exchange and complete submission, enslavement. They/we consensually turn over all rights to their Owners, Masters, Mistresses and everything is a revocable privilege. For example- i have free internet reign. It is a privilege, not a right anymore. He can stop me at any time. i will obey. He has revoked other privileges, such as eating candy- permanently. May i spend money? With His permission. If He took another slave or sub would i quit? No. This is prediscussed.
So i am not sure if you are entirely happy with the WHOLE situation. But- if you need to, you can adjust and perhaps find kinks you didn't know you had. If you need to you can leave, at anytime. Just keep in mind- you are consenting as long as you consent. When you cease to consent- then it is time to think again and perhaps find another option.
If it kinks you to be Her animated toy, an inconsequential addition to the house, to be used and set aside until time for use again, tortured emotionally and disregarded-then have a good time. Hopefully there is more to it than that- but to each their own.
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