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Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 2:59:20 PM

Lockit

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We have often heard that a woman wishes to be courted. My question would be, do submissive males wish to be courted and if so, how or how have they been courted? Another question would be to the dominants and if they have or would court a submissive and how or at what point would that start?

I was going to elaborate but found myself saying things that might influence the direction of things, so I will leave it at this and maybe elaborate later.

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 3:08:26 PM

VerySincere

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Sorry had to Delete

< Message edited by VerySincere -- 1/4/2012 3:18:06 PM >

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 3:10:21 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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Wow, What a question!

I will be honest with You. 99.9% of the time, I do the courting. Doesn't matter when, where, how or why.

Yet every couple years, a Lady will approach and try to do the courting.

i do NOT EVEN KNOW how to react.

It is really hard to be courted ... and i typically always want (need) to go back to the traditional male role.

i just do not know how to cope, otherwise!

Let me add one story ... it was a few years ago.

i met a Lady online, and after some interaction, She challenged me to send Her a hockey jeresy. So i did.

From that point on she called me, and sent weekly deliveries to my home. Nice stuff, too!

i was flabergasted ... stunned .. and like really falling for it ...

But i won't tell you the rest of it!

To summarize: myself, i have been conditioned to be seduced ... not courted. And while the expectation and desire to be seduced is a learned reaction; it is now embedded in my fabric.

Basically, i court, and then get seduced.

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 1/4/2012 3:55:58 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 3:48:43 PM

sodsta

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From: London, England
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I don't have a lot to add, but as a male sub, I absolutely *love* to be courted. It makes me feel wanted and desired and... well... that just feels nice, I guess? :)

- Kye

(in reply to Lockit)

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 3:52:35 PM

Lockit

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Thank you gentlemen! I have some thoughts on this, but wish to wait on sharing them.

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 4:20:43 PM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Thank you gentlemen! I have some thoughts on this, but wish to wait on sharing them.

Cop out........curious minds need to know.

I dont see courting as a one way thing at all, even in vanilla. A man may make all the right noises and overtures, BUT, the woman still has to send the right signals back for things to progress.

Lockit, do you mean stalking Babe ?..........lol

(in reply to Lockit)

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 4:41:57 PM

AAkasha

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I absolutely love courting a man - or, the process of seduction. I like to be the pursuer. That doesn't mean I don't like to be pursued, of course. But I get more of an erotic thrill from the process of showing a man I am interested in him and in the process doing things to show him he is on my mind or desired.

There's a man I am courting currently, despite being incredibly busy, and it's simple but incredibly rewarding. Every few weeks I send him a new toy from my favorite kink store, and it's building his collection. When he receives these items, he has assignments to do. He doesn't have a lot of money right now, so I also enjoy sending him gift cards for food, etc. He hasn't asked for anything and is rather proud, so I enjoy it.

When I was romantically chasing after men I did everything from fly them along on business trips with me to take them shopping and pick out and buy clothes I liked to see them in. I guess this crosses the line between "courtship" and "kept man" and into my objectification rich woman/poor street urchin fantasies, but I always go back to that. Even in high school my dark fantasies involved becoming self made so I could have boytoys at my whim and eye candy around and always be in control. I settled into a much more realistic lifestyle but I still indulge in the "kept man" fantasy by financially taking charge if I am in heavy pursuit mode -- that is to say, I pay for everything and he pays for nothing.

Akasha

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 4:45:58 PM

MSubEdinburgh29

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I don't think so, I would like to think that the submissive should be doing all the running, and that the lady would be hard to please (but not unappreciative either).

In saying that, maybe some ladies spot a shy submissive male and take pleasure in alluring him?

I don't know if there is a 'right' answer here, I am aware that I have little experience and could be well wide of the mark!

(in reply to Politesub53)

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 5:14:51 PM

Lockit

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When a teen, I wouldn't pursue in the sense of being dominant and aggressive, but more the manipulative type of presenting myself, being there and capturing their attention. I had one in mind and I narrowed in on him... but he thought he was in charge. I learned to be more honest about things and that felt much more comfortable to me.

The first, I saw him and knew I was going to make him mine. I approached him, I took him out for dinners and paid for everything. He was totally taken back from my approach, but was curious that a woman would do what I did and wanted to find out what I was all about. He was my first role reversal relationship and I worked and supported both of us and he took very good care of me. He made one damn pretty baby too! lol He had been the man in charge before me and this was all new to him and yet, he found where he really wanted to be. His issues with post traumatic stress from war ended up breaking us up but once he got the help he needed, he found another dominant woman. He worked with her, but he had to have the dominant woman after me. Last I knew they had been together for many years.

While I do enjoy a man that courts me, I also like to do some courting myself. I am different with different people. I mean I am the same person, but you kind of get a feel for someone and go from there.

I look forward to hearing from others and seeing the different takes on all of this. How society might influence things, roles, gender expectations, etc.

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 5:14:58 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Alas, I am not subtle enough to seduce...

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 5:18:11 PM

Higuysitsme

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From: Sheffield, UK
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Hmm; being courted. You have got to be kidding! Yes; it would be really, really nice. Does it happen - you know, genuine domme courting male sub? Well, in my dreams sometimes! Of course, maybe I lack sufficient gorgeousness to attract this kind of attention?! (Hard to believe......!) But in my experience, it hasn't happened.

Could I suggest a suitable courtship approach for any dommes wanting to try this out?

Begins: 'Hi'. Ends.

Now that ought to do it!

< Message edited by Higuysitsme -- 1/4/2012 5:20:31 PM >

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 5:39:48 PM

LadyHibiscus

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See! You understand!

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 6:56:28 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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I am thinking there is a lot of societal conditioning and learned behavior in courtship et al.

Going back even to grade school ... i recall the nuns teaching us that boys always called girls ... picked up the check ... asked girls to dance etc etc.

(BTW, they also taught that Women paddle men, but that is ... another topic!)

Going back to my first real love ... i remember her showing me how to take her to fine restaurants ... pick out the wine ... order dinner ... oh, and dress right too! LOL

We even went to men's stores so she could decide which suits I would buy to wear to work and take her out to dinner! LOL

The only constant in the whole process was I got to pay for everything! ROFL And of course, send her red roses regularly, at work, so every one could see!

Needless to say, this truly influenced my expectations, behavior and style of interacting with the opposite sex.

And even as a grown, mature man, i do get dis-oriented when a Lady takes me out of these patterns.

Why even the less-subtle approach, such as the ever popular:"well, are you coming in for the night?" has left me dis-oriented (but i adapted ;-).

So i feel what Lockit and Akasha gave examples of, moved men well outside of thir comfort zones, too.

What do you think?

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 6:58:41 PM

Lockit

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I think I would take you there... hehehehe Just for the fun of it! Talk about pushing some limits!

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 7:06:59 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

My question would be, do submissive males wish to be courted and if so, how or how have they been courted?

Wow. I'll echo the earlier comment: "What a question!"

The answer is 'Yes', but 'yes' in the same way that I'd like to be made a king and given a palace. T'ain't going to happen!

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 7:16:40 PM

mummyman321

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My my Lockit, what lovely eyes you have :)

Yes, we subs like to be courted. I never considered courting a 1 way street. Its takes 2 to tango...sometimes even 3 LOL. What sub wouldn't want the flirty affections of the Domme whois heart he is trying to capture? Its not all whip me, beat me, make me your sub. Its the eye glances, the funny smirks, the subtlies of the voice as you talk, the mannerisms as you move. A thousand words gestured without a word ever being spoken :)

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 7:31:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

My question would be, do submissive males wish to be courted and if so, how or how have they been courted?

Wow. I'll echo the earlier comment: "What a question!"

The answer is 'Yes', but 'yes' in the same way that I'd like to be made a king and given a palace. T'ain't going to happen!

I feel vaguely challenged...

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 7:37:17 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I feel vaguely challenged...

Lady Hib! I've *never* considered you challenged!

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 7:38:34 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I feel vaguely challenged...

Lady Hib! I've *never* considered you challenged!

How about challenging?

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RE: Courting a male submissive - 1/4/2012 7:39:43 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I feel vaguely challenged...

Lady Hib! I've *never* considered you challenged!

How about challenging?

Hah! My mouth: zipped.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com

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Post #: 20

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