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Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 6:32:30 PM

jaslyn82

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/4/2012
Status: offline

No anal or anal play or anything with anal
No public display
No nude pictures
No third parties involved in plays
No breaking skin or drawing blood
No making me eat feces or urine
No making me eat like an animal, from a dog dish or something
No tying me up for hours and leaving me be
No fisting

Post #: 1

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 6:56:31 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

there's someone for everyone. If those are your limits then someone out there will agree to them for whatever reason.

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Post #: 2

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 7:06:57 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

I have found, that if you have a valid reason for your limits most men understand and will accept them. If a dom has an issue with such things, it mostly likely means he isnt for you.

Also understand the more limits you have the smaller the pool of potential partners will be.

Also think over why you have some limits. Why is this not acceptable to you? Will it harm you? Mentally? Emotionally? Physically? Legally? Financially? Are they hard limits? Meaning you will never feel okay doing any of them? Soft limits? Meaning you need a loving trusting relationship before you feel its okay?

< Message edited by SpiritedRadiance -- 1/4/2012 7:08:20 PM >

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(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 3

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 7:09:15 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

I see nothing wrong with these limits. The only one we don't adhere to is the breaking of skin one as i have enjoyed suturing in the past.

So the answer is YES, some Doms can be perfectly content with these limits. Others will not.

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(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 4

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 7:10:59 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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Your view seems to be pretty narrow of "What's allowed."

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Post #: 5

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 7:18:58 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

Not unreasonable at all , I hope that some of them become less problematic as you go thru your journey. Travel well and limits can change into beautiful experiences. But if something squicks you... dont be upset, we ALL have limits:)
and some for the most peculiar reasons:)

some good advice here too

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Post #: 6

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 7:22:30 PM

RexDarcy

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline

OP, like a couple of posters said, there is somebody for everybody. For Me, the "No breaking skin or drawing blood" would be a deal breaker, but that's just Me.

If those limits are hard set for you, be upfront about it and be confortable discussing those things with any potential Dom.

_____________________________

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Post #: 7

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 7:31:27 PM

MikeSojourner

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/8/2011
Status: offline

Part of it also goes with what else do you have to offer. There's a couple things on that list that I would prefer not to be hard-limits for a submissive of mine -- but on the flip side, they are not necessarily deal breakers if they are. If she has many other qualities and traits that I'm looking for, and we really seem to click just right, those limits can be accepted.

(in reply to RexDarcy)

Post #: 8

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 8:48:27 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I love anal but might be willing to forgo it if everything else clicked.

I like to play at parties (I don't know if that's what you mean by "public"), and like to have third parties for spanking/flogging. All the other stuff you mentioned are hard limits for me, so they wouldn't be happening anyway.

That said, I hate conversations that begin with limits instead of what will happen.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Post #: 9

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/4/2012 10:24:05 PM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Doesn't seem unreasonable to me. My Master and I don't do most of that stuff (except nude pictures and the 'eating from a dog dish' thing) just because those things are mutually uninteresting and unappealing to us. Just find someone whose desires and interests (bedroom-wise and otherwise) are compatible with your own. And if they don't match exactly, that's ok if you both are able to come to a compromise. :)

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 10

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 1:04:39 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Fuck yeah.

That's a perfectly reasonable set of limits.

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Post #: 11

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 3:50:37 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jaslyn82

No anal or anal play or anything with anal
No public display
No nude pictures
No third parties involved in plays
No breaking skin or drawing blood
No making me eat feces or urine
No making me eat like an animal, from a dog dish or something
No tying me up for hours and leaving me be
No fisting

Let's see, anal has never been my fetish, though I have indulged/obliged a partner's anal play fetish.
I don't do "public displays".
Strictly monogamous here.
My profile specifically states I'm not interested in anything involving blood letting, permanent marks or human waste and nor do I treat my sub property as anything less than human.

Now it gets a tad harder....

I've greatly enjoyed my girl being helplessly restrained for several hours at a time. But it tends to be conditional that she's having a good time, too; preferably lost in sub-space. And I'd *never* waste such enjoyment by leaving her out of my sight for anything more than the odd minute or so.

Fisting? Well ok, but I'd at least wanna know why.... Hmmmm, for any limit, actually.

And now the biggy....
No nude pics???? I like my little trophies - intimate yet tasteful. And me being the kinda Dom who's not into public play, whose relationships are strictly personal/private and exclusive of 3rd parties etc...., wellllll...., I've gotta think you're putting a huge trust obstacle between us virtually before the relationship's begun...!

I'd find it difficult to impossible to trust anyone who's making trust an issue, indeed, a hard limit, from the get-go.

Overall, no real drama if we clicked in general, but please explain that last one. (about the pics)

Focus.

_____________________________

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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 12

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 3:50:38 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

Based on your two posts I am thinking that you need to stop for a moment and realise that there are no real rights and wrongs in any of this. Your limits are not uncommon and there will be plenty of people who are happy with it,. just as muchj as there will be people who are unhappy with it.

BDSM includes a massive range of people with various needs and desires, it is good that you are clear about yours, you may find that they change over time.

You just need to find someone along the same lines as you, and they really do exist.

_____________________________

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Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 13

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 4:53:14 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

what the lovely Lily said

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Post #: 14

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 6:44:57 AM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
Your view seems to be pretty narrow of "What's allowed."

Huh, how do you figure? That seems like a real short list to me.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 15

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 7:27:15 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

Sure. Why not. If you are cute, I could live with these limits. However, in fairness, I should point out that they are way too narrow in scope and far too specific. They will provide you with very little protection from a mean-spirited and creative sadist.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 16

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 7:28:34 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

I didn't see "no blow jobs" so Ron should be knocking at your door any second.

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Post #: 17

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 7:33:53 AM

jaslyn82

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
Sure. Why not. If you are cute, I could live with these limits. However, in fairness, I should point out that they are way too narrow in scope and far too specific. They will provide you with very little protection from a mean-spirited and creative sadist.

Could you give me an example of what a mean spirited creative sadist could do?
I guess it's hard to cover all areas. I wanted to add anything that does not hurt me emotionally but I like to think that's common sense for most sane doms.

(in reply to Fetters4U)

Post #: 18

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 7:39:46 AM

jaslyn82

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

I've greatly enjoyed my girl being helplessly restrained for several hours at a time. But it tends to be conditional that she's having a good time, too; preferably lost in sub-space. And I'd *never* waste such enjoyment by leaving her out of my sight for anything more than the odd minute or so.

Yea, I'm refering more to, tie you up, go out and party and leave you alone at home for hours, and maybe untie you 8 hrs later or something. Not sure..., I'm gonna enjoy that sort of things.

quote:

Fisting? Well ok, but I'd at least wanna know why.... Hmmmm, for any limit, actually.

I don't even understand why is fisting a turn on for men. What is the kick out of putting a whole fist into a vagina? But it's psychological, I know a baby head could get out of that, but..., it scares me. And I find kegel a real hassle to do, to get it back in shape again after all that.

quote:

No nude pics???? I like my little trophies - intimate yet tasteful. And me being the kinda Dom who's not into public play, whose relationships are strictly personal/private and exclusive of 3rd parties etc...., wellllll...., I've gotta think you're putting a huge trust obstacle between us virtually before the relationship's begun...!

Well, no matter how safe you try to be, you could get robbed, or you could die, and people would have to go through your things. Somehow, nude pictures could get out EVEN if it's not your fault.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 19

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 7:47:45 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jaslyn82

Could you give me an example of what a mean spirited creative sadist could do?
I guess it's hard to cover all areas. I wanted to add anything that does not hurt me emotionally but I like to think that's common sense for most sane doms.

Please never assume that most sane doms are anything of the kind. Common sense, rarely is. Emotional sadism is a HUGE pleasure for many people. And people consent to it, happily.
This is what YOU are "ready for" not what anyone else is up for. Its not a competition to be the subliest sub
you dont mention death, permanent injury, choking, breath play, vomit, bukakke, pinching, punching, slapping, kicking, maybe thats cool with you, but i get the feeling that you are fairly new, I apologise if this isn't the case, but please go thru the list below, n then come back because the stuff on there is mild compared to what mean spirited people can do with a tied up helpless person.

http://www.thebrc.net/check_list/check_list1.php?Submit=Continue...
its a couple of pages long
It might give you a few more limits to use, or not!!!

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 20

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