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lizi -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/25/2012 6:04:30 AM)
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ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
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ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx
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ORIGINAL: Awareness
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ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
ANd most of the posts have been from concerned educated women, some even lived thru this type of WRONG Domination The problem here is not "wrong domination". The problem is that your Master, ex-Master, whateverthefuckheisnow happens to be something of a cunt. The problem you have/had/described/imagined has nothing to do with BDSM. It has to do with character. Pure and simple.
^^ This.
I have to agree with this! The Domination was Not Wrong, it actually was a positive experience in one respect, that I found the "good feeling" within myself to be a better giving person who realized dealing with everything in anger is not the answer. If it had been a different man "not a cunt man" lol who gave back and rewarded the behavior in return it could have been a beautiful dynamic with beautiful results. I would have been very happy and satisfied to recieve his collar and continue on the positive path. But the man happened to be a narcissist, who had only his own gain in mind to change me.
I LOVE LIGHT BULB MOMENTS! WooooHOOOOOOO
To continue on in this vein since it seems to be a big part of this particular thread and your experience OP - at the heart of BDSM and D/s, is a relationship between human beings. The addition of kink doesn't somehow make that relationship different- I'm talking about relationships, not casual play or one-offs. I know that sometimes when we start out with D/s we think we're in new territory for some reason, we're not. Sure there are different activities and maybe a different focus, but people are first relating to each other as people, not as 'kinksters'.
To put it another way kink doesn't magically make things unacceptable things acceptable. To put it another way, if it's not ok in a vanilla relationship (to the participants), then it's not ok in a D/s relationship. Take the kink out of a relationship and look at it, does it satisfy you? Is it healthy for you? Would you say this is where you want to be with someone? If there are any buts, or exceptions, then it's not right- just like in the vanilla world. Dominance and submission does not make unhealthy things ok. OP, for a while there you kept trying to set this relationship outside of the usual relationship box because it was kinky, it's not special, it's not different, it's a relationship and the regular rules still apply.
I did stupid things when I started out thinking I was 'supposed' to be a certain way. Well, that was dumb. I wanted to belong to something that was meaningful to me, I tried to fit in- it's a typical response. I ran into some guys that took advantage of that. Thankfully it didnt' take me too long to catch on that I was being a moron. Putting a kinky spin on things does not mean that dysfunctional things are magically ok.
I'd advise you to stop looking for a "Dominant" to Dominate you, but look for a man to fulfill what you want in a relationship. Put the kink aside - ascertain that it's there, and that your desires match - then look at the relationship as a whole and see if it satisfies you or not. Kink should never make you stick with something - it should never be a deciding factor. The man and the relationship you have with him is the base of things.
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