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Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 1:40:03 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		This came to mind while reading another thread: so many people with a kink seem to be at peace with themselves.  Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?

Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

Is there less angst in kink than in vanilla?
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 1:42:33 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think it is more that we are more self aware and there for know our kinks because everyone has kinks

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 1:45:55 AM   
MasterMoody


Posts: 133
Joined: 4/19/2006
Status: offline 		no it just depens on the person i have friends out side of this life style and they are just as happy as i am because the know what they want it i up to the 2 that are togher that is what makes they happy or not if you are fine with who you are ane the one or many that you with are fine with they seles and you you all will be happer then people at are not fine with each other

(in reply to becca333)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 1:47:44 AM   
MasterMoody


Posts: 133
Joined: 4/19/2006
Status: offline 		that is true to the best thing you can say is be thine self be true

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 3:45:47 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		temet nosce - know thyself.

It's not that we are more self-aware, but more to the point that we are more comfortable in our skin because we accept the wicked little things that ping around in our heads much more easily than those who were brow-beaten into believing that sex is a sin.


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 3:50:56 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		No more self-aware than any other place.  Have you read some of the profiles/journals on the other side?  If those are examples of self-aware, then I am scared!

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:04:39 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		 I don't think it has a great deal to do with bdsm. I don't think that recognising you have a *kink* makes you self aware per se..just that particular way.

agirl

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:20:50 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Take a look at the other side of the site, other sites, your local community... in general, no not at all.

If however you are just looking at the forums then possibly. That is just a case of it being a forum where human nature is part of many topics, therefore many of those who stick around and get involved are the kind of people who think through such subjects and enjoy discussing them... people who, in general are more self aware than the majority.


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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:20:15 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333
This came to mind while reading another thread: so many people with a kink seem to be at peace with themselves.  Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?

No.
quote:


Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

Is there less angst in kink than in vanilla?

No.

The bdsm sub culture is no better/deeper/open/intense/aware than any other way of life is. 

Take a week to look at the threads, the flames, the complaints, the drama, the insecurity...I'm afraid recognizing that you are a dom or sub or switch or whatever doesn't really bring a person any more self-awareness than any other way of life.

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:21:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
It's not that we are more self-aware, but more to the point that we are more comfortable in our skin because we accept the wicked little things that ping around in our heads much more easily than those who were brow-beaten into believing that sex is a sin.

Except we aren't.

BDSMers are just as hung up about our skin and the wicked things we do as anyone else.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:44:10 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I don't think being into bdsm has anything to do with how self aware a person is. It's an individual thing, not a lifestyle thing.

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 6:39:31 AM   
Dustyn


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Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
It's not that we are more self-aware, but more to the point that we are more comfortable in our skin because we accept the wicked little things that ping around in our heads much more easily than those who were brow-beaten into believing that sex is a sin.

Except we aren't.

BDSMers are just as hung up about our skin and the wicked things we do as anyone else.


Can't, and won't, speak for anyone else, but I'm not 'hung up' on the things that I do.  I can take it, leave it, or stand somewhere inbetween those two extremes.  I don't deny having those thoughts or desires. but they are not the be all and end all of my existence either.

Now, granted, there are some that insist that they are what is right and true, but those are generally the people that cause the rest of us to point.  But for the most part, the closest that most of the bdsm'ers I know get to being hung up on something is carnal indulgence.  We, as a sub culture, are generally a bit more accepting of another's kink than the rest of the world is for others' kinks.  Granted, there will always be an 'ick' factor for everyone as to some things that other people do, but we don't simply look at them and tell them that they are flat out wrong.

How many Puritanical morons look at us and flat out tell us that the things we do are out and out wrong?  I've been told that more than once.


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 6:41:52 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
We, as a sub culture, are generally a bit more accepting of another's kink than the rest of the world is for others' kinks.  Granted, there will always be an 'ick' factor for everyone as to some things that other people do, but we don't simply look at them and tell them that they are flat out wrong.

Uh yes "we" do.  It happens on these forums all the time, and definitely elsewhere.

I'll never forget the time I was told by another slave that my master was abusive because he made me sleep on the floor.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Dustyn)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 6:53:07 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I can't say I've noticed more self awareness in BDSM than any other activity and being self aware doesn't mean you are capable of changing your behaviour.

People change and are in a constant struggle between what they think they are, what they are and what they want to be. Maybe struggle is too strong a word. We are certainly different to how we perceive ourselves and how other people perceive us.

Most of the time I'm content but there are issues that blind me and I'm fully aware of that and try to deal with them but can I? Hell no but I keep trying.

Oh and if anything, I've found more angst in BDSM.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 6/1/2006 6:54:01 AM >

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 6:57:35 AM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

we don't simply look at them and tell them that they are flat out wrong. 


I have been told exactly that in several occassions.  It may not be a general, sweeping "bdsm is wrong" but a more specific judgement. 

(in reply to Dustyn)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 6:58:24 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
We, as a sub culture, are generally a bit more accepting of another's kink than the rest of the world is for others' kinks.  Granted, there will always be an 'ick' factor for everyone as to some things that other people do, but we don't simply look at them and tell them that they are flat out wrong.

Uh yes "we" do.  It happens on these forums all the time, and definitely elsewhere.

I'll never forget the time I was told by another slave that my master was abusive because he made me sleep on the floor.

Gotta agree with you here, 100%.  And I was told the same thing by another slave, for the same reason.  Hmm, I wonder if it was the same person....lol.  Oh yeah, driving 2 hours to see him was abusive, too, because it rained on the drive home.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 7:01:57 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
We, as a sub culture, are generally a bit more accepting of another's kink than the rest of the world is for others' kinks.  Granted, there will always be an 'ick' factor for everyone as to some things that other people do, but we don't simply look at them and tell them that they are flat out wrong.

Uh yes "we" do.  It happens on these forums all the time, and definitely elsewhere.

I'll never forget the time I was told by another slave that my master was abusive because he made me sleep on the floor.


Somehow I don't quite think we are on the same line of thought.

I'll accept someone that enjoys same sex age play much more readily than a Catholic will a Gnostic, or a KKK dragon will a double muslim.  Even when I say it's wrong, it's more in terms of being wrong for me, but as long as it is completely legal, I have no quialms with pretty much anything in bdsm.  I just don't do some of the things that other people do, but it is personal preference that drives that choice, not prejudicial judgement.


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 7:03:31 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
I just don't do some of the things that other people do, but it is personal preference that drives that choice, not prejudicial judgement.

That's true, and that's you.

But there are plenty of people IN the scene who make prejudicial judgements about people IN the scene.  As a group, we are no less judgemental or "wrong calling" as any other group.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 7:44:28 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		That self awareness must be why 2/3 of the younger women on this site with cute pictures and short extreme profiles are actually men desperate for some form of contact.

Yep, sounds self aware all right.

(For those who just got their panties in a bunch, draw out a circle, mark of three pies.  Color one in and leave the other two white.  You and all your real friends belong in that one so I am not talking about you.)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 8:06:35 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay that's one theory shot to flinders!  LOL.

Currently working on my next set of sweeping generalisations.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
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