Iamsemisweet
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Still desperately trying to convince Republican voters that he’s not as disposable as Perry and Bachmann, Rick “Don’t Google My Name” Santorum purports that the evil socialist-in-chief wants kids to go to college only so they can be indoctrinated by liberals. Speaking to a crowd of Floridians at the First Baptist Church of Naples, Santorum said that churches and families were under “assault” by the president and liberals: “We’ve lost, unfortunately, our entertainment industry,” the candidate explained. “We’ve lost our higher education. That was the first to go a long time ago. It’s no wonder President Obama wants every kid to go to college. The indoctrination that occurs at American universities is one of the keys to the left holding and maintaining power in America — and it is indoctrination.” On the contrary, while Newt Gingrich was philandering like it was 1999, President Obama has remained devoted to his wife and family. In fact, Obama was so devoted to them that he was accosted by Republicans for having the gall to purchase them Christmas gifts during budget talks. Additionally, President Obama has actually irked many liberals for continuing George W. Bush’s faith-based initiatives. You know, where federal monies are given to hate groups that think the earth is flat and Jesus rode a T-rex. Like I’ve always said: Republicans love underfunding education and ensuring that the majority doesn’t have access to it so that they won’t get smart and realize they are being screwed.
The eventual Republican presidential drop-out continued his overtly religious preaching to the crowd. “If they taught Judeo-Christian ideology, they would be stripped of every dollar. If they teach radical secular ideology, they get all the government support that they can possibly get. As you know, 62 percent of children who enter college with a faith conviction leave without it. And I bet you there are people in this room who give money to colleges and universities who are undermining the very principles of our country every single day by indoctrinating kids in left-wing ideology. And you continue to give to these colleges and universities. Let me have a suggestion: Stop it!” “What they say is, look, their values trump your religious values. The government can tell you they’re going to starve you by taking money away, by taking out the charitable deductions. They’re going to weaken you by passing statutes to change the institution of marriage, which will ultimately make what is preached here hate speech and bigotry,” said Santorum Not to frighten Mr. Frothy with inconvenient facts, but most universities tend to teach college kids to think critically about the byzantine issues of the country and actually expect them to have a keen understanding of the past, unlike Republican presidential candidates. Of course, there exists universities with professors that subscribe to liberal philosophies, just as there exists ones with conservative philosophies. But it should be noted that left-of-center individuals do tend to predominate academia. Progressive minded individuals have this nasty habit of tolerance toward differing social concepts and firmly believe in reason and science. But the beautiful thing about being an American citizen is being endowed with free will. For example, if a student feels as though his/her professor wants them to cite Mao Zedong’s Little Red Book, they can drop that course. Better yet, if a student is so intellectually uncurious and completely without an elementary desire to learn facts and interesting things about the world around them; so totally without a thirst for differing ideas and vibrant debate on deeply philosophical ideas and assertions and completely unwilling to leave the confines of one-dimensional thinking, then they could always attend Jerry “fallacy” Fallwell’s Liberty University or an equivalent institution that teaches preaches hatred of secular society, science, and deductionism. President Obama spoke about the importance of college affordability during his annual State of the Union address on Tuesday, but it seems the former Pennsylvania Senator would rather continue his own petty culture wars than arrive at different solutions to making higher learning more accessible. Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.
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Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.
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Rick Santorum says don't send your kids to college - 
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