quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I personally would wish to add that IB is the perfect example of GoreanMasters. and I hope that people can learn more on how REAL Gor is from the example He teaches us.

Strong, polite, dignified and respectful without letting anyone interfere with His desire and belief - even in a negative way.

 

No one has power over a Gorean Master, save the Master Himself.

 

Peace and Love

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Often times those who are newer to this lifestyle will have a warped view of what they can expect to find here. I have to assume that there are some people out there who are spreading these myths.
"People in the lifestyle understand themselves better", "People in the lifestyle are more accepting.", etc., etc... 

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New submissives are frequently told by Dominants about the importance of placing their trust in them....and of course because they have been told that Dominants are some superior species they blindly buy into that BS and the end result is often times disastrous.

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I think that it is important that when we are speaking with someone who is new, that we need to convey to them that this lifestyle is not far removed from the rest of the world. Yes, the beaches may indeed be appealing but there are sharks in the water. No different than any other beach.

We are not proportionately more honest, more morally or ethically superior...or have more integrity than the rest of the world. Reality....I know....it sucks.....

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ORIGINAL: MissA
and be as accepting and non-judgemental as some say we are. We are all human though, with human emotions, and wherever those are involved there will be conflict.

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Well, I'm not really sure how anyone could have been offended by that statement. I didn't say that anyone was warped. I said some possess a "warped view". There is a difference between "having" something and "being" something. I didn't imply that it was an intrinsic part of anyone's personality. I also didn't say "all the time" or "everyone".....I said "often times". Geesh!

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ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

The people who portray BDSM as utopia are getting some kind of reward from doing so. They are making money on a pay site, royalties off a book, getting a bigger hand full of partners to play with, more people kneeling at their feet, more orgasms, more clients, a more inflated ego, more attention, more ... something.
It only works because there are morons out there who are buying the BS they’re selling.
So long as they have the consumers, they’re going to continue to market their shit.

I don’t even see it as damaging, nor do I care about the outcome of their interaction. If one person wants to spout bullshit at a price, and the other wants to buy the bullshit, who the hell am I to butt into their deal? If the one buying into the bullshit gets hurt and learns a valuable lesson, I’m of the opinion "It’s about damn time you learned that lesson. The rest of the world figured it out when we were 12."

The longer I stick around in the BDSM "community", the more cold-hearted and callous I become toward idiots. I used to value educating newcomers, but nowadays I'm more along the lines of "whatever". If you want to live in a fantasy-laden world where you believe total strangers, waste your time/money on scams, and buy into bullshit, why should I try to veer you otherwise? I just lack patience for anyone over 8 years old that’s that naïve. I don’t even see it as naïveté anymore. I just see it as flat out stupidity. On a good day I can see it as "one wanker to another".
Naivete, stupidity, wankerism…
I really have no inclination to spend any time on any of it.
If someone didn't get a clue in life before they walked through the BDSM gateway, they're probably not going to get a clue once they get here.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
We've got a rash of people lately making "judgement" a bad word and somehow suggesting that you can't make a judgement about something and not accept it, or worse.

My mother would judge anyone who is not a christian to be wrong about their beliefs and going to hell.  But she will still be your best friend.

Making good judgements is a necessary skill for people to have in life.  The issue is how we make judgements, what we do with our judgements once we have them, and expectations of others sharing judgements.

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
We've got a rash of people lately making "judgement" a bad word and somehow suggesting that you can't make a judgement about something and not accept it, or worse.

My mother would judge anyone who is not a christian to be wrong about their beliefs and going to hell.  But she will still be your best friend.

Making good judgements is a necessary skill for people to have in life.  The issue is how we make judgements, what we do with our judgements once we have them, and expectations of others sharing judgements.

That's the rub though.  To make a judgement you must judge something, and that means making an informed decision.  Most who are judgemental do so out of ignorance.  

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

Enigmabrat:
 
   I will admit that writing on these boards is probably the greatest exercise in self-control that I've ever had.  Its very hard sometimes to word something so that no one is offended....And... Yes, there *is* a way to say you dont like something or approve of something,  in a diplomatic way, which you chose not to do.  But in reading your original post, it was just a very strong opinion about Gor--rough yes--but at no point did you directly insult a single person.  Others who commented back to you were sarcastic, attack oriented, and one even took a dig at your nick having the word brat in it.  I think if people are going to critisize something about you, they shouldnt be exhibiting the same behavior that they profess to abhor, while theyre doing it.  Maybe you should learn diplomacy if you want to get along better in a public forum; thats up to you.  In my opinion, you owe no one an apology for what you feel.  We are all the product of our experiences and surely there are reasons that we feel the things we do.  You have a right to have a strong and even *violently* strong opinion, just as anyone else does.  :)  

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

.  There's no rush, this is all being archived 

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ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

This is exactly why I ask people about their vanilla relationship patterns.

Captain Platitudes was the other name I considered taking.

Awesome nickname! 

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL: enigmabrat
The truth is Gor is play. It has its place in life but I feel it isnt life it is play and should be taken in moderation again my opinion and I mean no harm

Funny, I think that this actually is right in line with this thread. Many myths about what Gor "is" and "isn't" abound. Maybe IronBear could help us to clear some of that up without turning the whole thread into a Gor debate.

I am not Gorean, nor do I profess to understand all that it encompasses. I can tell you that I have many wonderful friends who do identify as Gorean. Now I am not certain if the example that they set is the norm, but I can tell you that it seems that they have adopted some of the ideals and philosophies from the books and incorporated them into their lives. They tend to live at a bit higher level of protocol than what I typically see in M/s relationships. They do not consider what they do as play but as a way of life. They are very much members of the real world, hold down jobs, raise families and live by the laws of the land.

If I am very far off IronBear, you have my apologies and hope that you will correct any misspeaks I may have made..

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

Bit of advice Enigmatic, anytime something here makes you angry, wait at least 15 min before replying.  There's no rush, this is all being archived, so take your time and think about what you want to say before you say it.  It'll save you a lot of future embarassment.

As for Gor, you may not understand it.  That's fine.  You may not agree with it, that's okay too.  You can even point out specific things you don't like about it, and that's alright.  But what you shouldn't do is turn it into a generalized, or worse a personal, attack.  Anyone who knows much about me knows I'm not Gorean and that there are aspects of Gor I flatly disagree with.  So it might surprise you to know that I consider IronBear a friend.  He's a good guy, and I think you'll find he's pretty forgiving (sorry if I'm ruining your reputation here IB ).  He is Gorean, and we've had more than a few discussions about our differences of opinion.  We can do that, because despite those differences, we still respect each other as individuals.  I know him to be an honest, ethical and decent person.  He's certainly not abusive.  Take some time to get to know him, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: enigmabrat
Im not even going to dignafie you with a responce that was the stupidest thing I EVER heard
but then again its your "opinion" its to bad you feel that way very very sad that you feel that subs are lesser people

ok im to angry to even respond right so Ill just ignore you stupidity

The sarcastic force is weak in this one.