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RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 10:06:11 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

“There can be no really pervasive system of oppression... without the consent of the oppressed” (Florynce R. Kennedy)

I dont believe that for a second. Most who are oppressed feel they have no choice but to be oppressed. It is like saying "There can be no real system of abuse...without the consent of the abused".


Seems to this old Grizzly that this is similar to the battered wife returning to her wife beating partner or hooking up with a male with similar tendencies. Outsiders can see where she is headed, but for her she is staying with what she knows and hence her comfort zone,,,,,

< Message edited by IronBear -- 6/2/2006 10:07:01 AM >


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 10:45:57 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

It's just a way of life. Funny thing is, when they look at the Western women, what do you think is the first thing at come to mind? First it's the shock. They tend to think "How can they live like that?


Yes a "way of life"...hence the term lifestyle.  I think this post, while off the exact topic, may demonstrate the point (inadvertantly) of what I was trying to say with regards to the definition of the term "lifestyle".
 

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 11:18:34 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

“There can be no really pervasive system of oppression... without the consent of the oppressed” (Florynce R. Kennedy)


Which, to a certain degree, is true. Unless someone is chained to a wall and beaten with a stick, an abused person always has a choice to walk out and leave it all there.  Usually, this will, not happen because the abused person thinks they will be worse off if they leave, or they rationalize it, or whatever.  But they could, at any time, walk out.  So they are consenting to it. 


In both cases, the person feels like there is some incentive to stay, or a problem with walking away.  I'm not saying abuse is not a bad thing, or should be taken lightly, but if an otherwise normal person decides to change their abusive situation, they can.

Therefore, they consent.

Yours,


benji

But only to a certain degree. There are those who stayed and suffered abuse and oppression, because they saw even more horrible acts to those that walked/ran away, when caught.
Some people stay, and it's not their comfort zone to stay in the relationship. They stay due to pure fear. Words of, "If I can't have you nobody can." "I'll hunt you down and your family too." and of course the examples can still be seen by turning on the news. People being burned alive, or the whole family murdered, because one chose to leave.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 12:28:49 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
Again, perceived fears about walking out.  The same perceived fears I have about telling my boss where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there.  However, the person has the choice to make - walk away in some form and go to the police, or stay. 

Yours,


benji

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 6/2/2006 12:35:42 PM >


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 144
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 12:30:55 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
Ok, here’s some myths I’ve seen people come into this lifestyle believing, and my own personal sarcastic debunks.

Dominants have some sort of higher intelligence than submissives.
  • Yes. We Dominats all carry not only a PhD, but we also have more street smarts, more common sense, more life experience, and we regularly participate in self-help courses. All of which we lovingly understand that you poor little submissives have never had any access to in life, and even when you did, you failed miserably at all of the above.

People who are kinky, live in this underground subculture that the rest of the world is unaware of or scared of.
  • Yes. And no one who doesn’t know the secret knock and password isn’t allowed in. My parents and employers fear for their life because I had sex once while using a blindfold.

The media portrayal of WIITWD is accurate.
  • Yes. All Dominant women bear a resounding resemblance to Lady Heather. Both "The Secretary" and "9 & 1/2 weeks" were reality television filmed with hidden cameras. slaves always end up one of two ways depending on what channel you tune into: naked and chained while being sexual servants 23 hours a day, or dead in the gutter. Please don’t forget that we are also all independently wealthy. However, keep in mind that all directors, reporters, and web site owners know the secret knock and have the password.

We are all honest, trustworthy, tolerant of all other viewpoints, respectful about our differences, and as a combined collective, have an understanding of the one true way to enlightenment.
  • And we suggest that you don’t disagree with any of that, lest ye be escorted out of our private dungeon.

We are all horny nymphomaniacs who concentrate on nothing but kinky sex.
  • Yes. That’s why we can not hold down jobs, raise families, have hobbies, own pets, discuss politics, vote, buy groceries, and sleep.


No one in the lifestyle ever participates in pedophilia, beastiality, snuff, or necrophilia, but all other kinks are perfectly acceptable to everyone as long as you say "Your kink is not my kink."
  • Yes. That’s why you can often find us in agreement on any crime topic (or other moral topic), holding hands in a circle, singing Kumbya.

There is no racism, no sexism, no sizeism, no ageism, no elitism, or any other kind of bigotry or prejudice in the lifestyle, because we are all so accepting of one another’s differences.
  • Yes. It’s because we were all raised in a purified bubble, under a rock, in a cave, by angels and saints.

submissives and slaves are naïve, ignorant, lack life experience, are full of pure innocence, and believe everything they’re told.
  • Yes. And we prefer to keep them that way so that we can manipulate them into being our sex slaves, giving us their hard-earned fortunes, and being our free labor.

No one in the lifestyle has mental illness.
  • Yes. We all had the perfect childhood and never experienced any trauma or crisis either. We all came into the lifestyle for all the right reasons and we all have a healthy, competent stance on every dynamic possible in any type of relationship. In addition, none of us ever have to take medication for anything and we also have no disabilities or handicaps. We are all perfectly healthy in mind, body, and spirit, and we don’t believe in heaven because we’re living it here on earth.

No one in the lifestyle is abusive.
  • Yes. We have a specialized screening process that newcomers go through. If we (the collective BDSM community) feel that someone is in any way a predator looking for a victim, we deny them the secret knock and password; hence keeping our community a safe haven for all.

We are all fighting for acceptance from the oppressive vanillas.
  • Yes. That’s why you’ll find that 100% of us are out of the closet about our lifestyle. That’s why 100% of us raise our children lifestyle aware, 100% of us participate in pride rallies and marches, and 100% of us never question if or to whom or when we should divulge our interests. We all view anyone who is not kinky as the enemy and we agree that the government is contemplating genocide on kinksters.

I could probably go on and on with this, but I should probably get busy whipping an innocent, rich, beautiful, naked slave, during family time, watching the 6:00 news while the President makes a speech about denying college financial aid to people who own floggers.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 12:34:32 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
<<< WIITWD >>>

Ok I know once I get this answer its going to be so obvious, Im going to feel more stupid than I do now...but what the fuck does this acronym stand for already?? 

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 12:35:46 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Ok, here’s some myths I’ve seen people come into this lifestyle believing, and my own personal sarcastic debunks.

Dominants have some sort of higher intelligence than submissives.
  • Yes. We Dominats all carry not only a PhD, but we also have more street smarts, more common sense, more life experience, and we regularly participate in self-help courses. All of which we lovingly understand that you poor little submissives have never had any access to in life, and even when you did, you failed miserably at all of the above.

People who are kinky, live in this underground subculture that the rest of the world is unaware of or scared of.
  • Yes. And no one who doesn’t know the secret knock and password isn’t allowed in. My parents and employers fear for their life because I had sex once while using a blindfold.

The media portrayal of WIITWD is accurate.
  • Yes. All Dominant women bear a resounding resemblance to Lady Heather. Both "The Secretary" and "9 & 1/2 weeks" were reality television filmed with hidden cameras. slaves always end up one of two ways depending on what channel you tune into: naked and chained while being sexual servants 23 hours a day, or dead in the gutter. Please don’t forget that we are also all independently wealthy. However, keep in mind that all directors, reporters, and web site owners know the secret knock and have the password.

We are all honest, trustworthy, tolerant of all other viewpoints, respectful about our differences, and as a combined collective, have an understanding of the one true way to enlightenment.
  • And we suggest that you don’t disagree with any of that, lest ye be escorted out of our private dungeon.

We are all horny nymphomaniacs who concentrate on nothing but kinky sex.
  • Yes. That’s why we can not hold down jobs, raise families, have hobbies, own pets, discuss politics, vote, buy groceries, and sleep.


No one in the lifestyle ever participates in pedophilia, beastiality, snuff, or necrophilia, but all other kinks are perfectly acceptable to everyone as long as you say "Your kink is not my kink."
  • Yes. That’s why you can often find us in agreement on any crime topic (or other moral topic), holding hands in a circle, singing Kumbya.

There is no racism, no sexism, no sizeism, no ageism, no elitism, or any other kind of bigotry or prejudice in the lifestyle, because we are all so accepting of one another’s differences.
  • Yes. It’s because we were all raised in a purified bubble, under a rock, in a cave, by angels and saints.

submissives and slaves are naïve, ignorant, lack life experience, are full of pure innocence, and believe everything they’re told.
  • Yes. And we prefer to keep them that way so that we can manipulate them into being our sex slaves, giving us their hard-earned fortunes, and being our free labor.

No one in the lifestyle has mental illness.
  • Yes. We all had the perfect childhood and never experienced any trauma or crisis either. We all came into the lifestyle for all the right reasons and we all have a healthy, competent stance on every dynamic possible in any type of relationship. In addition, none of us ever have to take medication for anything and we also have no disabilities or handicaps. We are all perfectly healthy in mind, body, and spirit, and we don’t believe in heaven because we’re living it here on earth.

No one in the lifestyle is abusive.
  • Yes. We have a specialized screening process that newcomers go through. If we (the collective BDSM community) feel that someone is in any way a predator looking for a victim, we deny them the secret knock and password; hence keeping our community a safe haven for all.

We are all fighting for acceptance from the oppressive vanillas.
  • Yes. That’s why you’ll find that 100% of us are out of the closet about our lifestyle. That’s why 100% of us raise our children lifestyle aware, 100% of us participate in pride rallies and marches, and 100% of us never question if or to whom or when we should divulge our interests. We all view anyone who is not kinky as the enemy and we agree that the government is contemplating genocide on kinksters.


I could probably go on and on with this, but I should probably get busy whipping an innocent, rich, beautiful, naked slave, during family time, watching the 6:00 news while the President makes a speech about denying college financial aid to people who own floggers.

/claps
 
Encore

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 12:38:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

<<< WIITWD >>>

Ok I know once I get this answer its going to be so obvious, Im going to feel more stupid than I do now...but what the fuck does this acronym stand for already?? 

What it is that we do

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 12:48:53 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
Oh, she's good at this.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 12:53:38 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
What is it that we do? 
What it is that we do. 
We do that, what it is. 
What is it?  We do that.
Is it that, what we do?
We do what????  Is that it?

That's all I can think of.  Not that it has anything to do with anything, but for what it's worth, we'll call it expressionism.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 1:10:28 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Again, perceived fears about walking out.  The same perceived fears I have about telling my boss where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there.  However, the person has the choice to make - walk away in some form and go to the police, or stay. 

Yours,
benji


Speaking as someone who was in an abusive relationship, I must say, that your boss will probably not take a knife to your thoat if you do tell him where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there. He probably will not throw you out of a moving car into -22 degree weather. He most likely will not kick a living human being out of your stomach if you choose to not go to work tomorrow. But then again, as you say, I had a choice to stay or leave. I chose to leave and he proceeded to burn my sisters house down and beat my mother within an inch of her life. I hardly think that it is the same perceived fear as the one you may have about quitting your job and not being able to support yourself.
 
Edited for spelling

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 6/2/2006 1:12:14 PM >


_____________________________





(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 3:40:08 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:


We are not proportionately more honest, more morally or ethically superior...or have more integrity than the rest of the world. Reality....I know....it sucks.....


Never said more honest or directly superior.  I consider myself to be more open than most of the prudes I know because I accept my sexual and kink desires.  I have no ethical conflicts within myself, unlike a fairly decent chunk of the world's populace.  Personally, I'm more willing to accept another's kink than my half-sister, for example, who thinks that oral sex is the dirtiest thing mankind has ever thought up, let alone the concepts of power exchange and what not.

As I am fond of saying, especially when it comes to the bdsm sub-culture:

"I have absolute faith in humanity.  It's society that is imploding, and dammit, I want a front row seat!"


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 4:49:27 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Again, perceived fears about walking out.  The same perceived fears I have about telling my boss where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there.  However, the person has the choice to make - walk away in some form and go to the police, or stay. 

Yours,
benji


Speaking as someone who was in an abusive relationship, I must say, that your boss will probably not take a knife to your thoat if you do tell him where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there. He probably will not throw you out of a moving car into -22 degree weather. He most likely will not kick a living human being out of your stomach if you choose to not go to work tomorrow. But then again, as you say, I had a choice to stay or leave. I chose to leave and he proceeded to burn my sisters house down and beat my mother within an inch of her life. I hardly think that it is the same perceived fear as the one you may have about quitting your job and not being able to support yourself.
 
Edited for spelling


How about a man who beats his child with anything near at hand? 

A man who tells his 11-year-old son to go get him his pistol.  When the son returns with the pistol, the man makes him clean it and load it.  Then he tells the child to go get him a beer, and after he finishes the beer, he will kill the child and his mother.  The child gets the beer and also a butcher knife.  He tries to use the knife on his father, but gets pistol whipped over the head for his trouble. 

A man who found his wife and children not home when he got home.  The neighbors told him that they'd walked to the bus station.  The man drives to the bus station, finds his wife and children and proceeds to beat her within an inch of her life right there on the street.  He is 6'1", 200 lbs and she is 4'10" and 90 pounds, dripping wet. 

A man who comes in from work and finds his oldest daughter talking on the phone to a boy.  He rips the phone from the wall and beats her over the head with the receiver until she's out cold.  She still does not enjoy talking on the phone to this day.

The boy was signed into the Navy at 17 years of age, because his mother feared for his life.  He is my father.  The 4'10" woman was my Granny.  My Aunt was the one struck by the phone.  These incidents are all very real and there are many, many more.

Only by marriage or military service did the children escape.  Death of my grandfather is how my Granny finally escaped. 

Not because they didn't want it, they did.  They just did not have a way out.  There were no shelters back then to help women and children.  There were no questions at hospitals when wives and children were brought in beaten and bloody.  If they were brought in at all.

Another man, another time swats his one-year-old son so hard on the butt that the child flies across the room.  He beats and kicks the childs mother, rapes her until she can hardly walk.  She takes an axe handle to him and he leaves.  She packs her children up and they leave.  A year later, she goes back to him.  Why?  Because battered women love their husbands and they want to believe them every time they're told it will never happen again.  This woman's son suffers from bipolarism and possibly schizophrenia.  Genetic gifts from his father.  Her youngest daughter suffers a physical genetic condition which places her in a wheelchair for her entire life.  The woman isn't able to care for these children on her own, the boy needs constant supervision, which she cannot provide if she has to work to support them.  Babysitters are not an option, as he's 13 years old and a very large and strong kid.  Babysitters do not take on kids like him.  The woman would leave if she could, but she's stuck like chuck.

This is my sister and her children.  They live life wondering when Daddy will blow up next. 

To blithely say that you can get out if you want out is simply not true for everyone.  It is much easier to say than to do.

It's really easy for people outside the situation to say...
Just leave.

These people are not practicing D/s.  They must be submit to survive, which does not encompass anything that we do. 



_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 5:12:23 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Again, perceived fears about walking out.  The same perceived fears I have about telling my boss where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there.  However, the person has the choice to make - walk away in some form and go to the police, or stay. 

Yours,
benji


Speaking as someone who was in an abusive relationship, I must say, that your boss will probably not take a knife to your thoat if you do tell him where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there. He probably will not throw you out of a moving car into -22 degree weather. He most likely will not kick a living human being out of your stomach if you choose to not go to work tomorrow. But then again, as you say, I had a choice to stay or leave. I chose to leave and he proceeded to burn my sisters house down and beat my mother within an inch of her life. I hardly think that it is the same perceived fear as the one you may have about quitting your job and not being able to support yourself.
 
Edited for spelling


How about a man who beats his child with anything near at hand? 

A man who tells his 11-year-old son to go get him his pistol.  When the son returns with the pistol, the man makes him clean it and load it.  Then he tells the child to go get him a beer, and after he finishes the beer, he will kill the child and his mother.  The child gets the beer and also a butcher knife.  He tries to use the knife on his father, but gets pistol whipped over the head for his trouble. 

A man who found his wife and children not home when he got home.  The neighbors told him that they'd walked to the bus station.  The man drives to the bus station, finds his wife and children and proceeds to beat her within an inch of her life right there on the street.  He is 6'1", 200 lbs and she is 4'10" and 90 pounds, dripping wet. 

A man who comes in from work and finds his oldest daughter talking on the phone to a boy.  He rips the phone from the wall and beats her over the head with the receiver until she's out cold.  She still does not enjoy talking on the phone to this day.

The boy was signed into the Navy at 17 years of age, because his mother feared for his life.  He is my father.  The 4'10" woman was my Granny.  My Aunt was the one struck by the phone.  These incidents are all very real and there are many, many more.

Only by marriage or military service did the children escape.  Death of my grandfather is how my Granny finally escaped. 

Not because they didn't want it, they did.  They just did not have a way out.  There were no shelters back then to help women and children.  There were no questions at hospitals when wives and children were brought in beaten and bloody.  If they were brought in at all.

Another man, another time swats his one-year-old son so hard on the butt that the child flies across the room.  He beats and kicks the childs mother, rapes her until she can hardly walk.  She takes an axe handle to him and he leaves.  She packs her children up and they leave.  A year later, she goes back to him.  Why?  Because battered women love their husbands and they want to believe them every time they're told it will never happen again.  This woman's son suffers from bipolarism and possibly schizophrenia.  Genetic gifts from his father.  Her youngest daughter suffers a physical genetic condition which places her in a wheelchair for her entire life.  The woman isn't able to care for these children on her own, the boy needs constant supervision, which she cannot provide if she has to work to support them.  Babysitters are not an option, as he's 13 years old and a very large and strong kid.  Babysitters do not take on kids like him.  The woman would leave if she could, but she's stuck like chuck.

This is my sister and her children.  They live life wondering when Daddy will blow up next. 

To blithely say that you can get out if you want out is simply not true for everyone.  It is much easier to say than to do.

It's really easy for people outside the situation to say...
Just leave.

These people are not practicing D/s.  They must be submit to survive, which does not encompass anything that we do. 




What if he died?  How would they survive then?

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 5:30:13 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Again, perceived fears about walking out.  The same perceived fears I have about telling my boss where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there.  However, the person has the choice to make - walk away in some form and go to the police, or stay. 

Yours,
benji


Speaking as someone who was in an abusive relationship, I must say, that your boss will probably not take a knife to your thoat if you do tell him where to go and what to do with the potato when he gets there. He probably will not throw you out of a moving car into -22 degree weather. He most likely will not kick a living human being out of your stomach if you choose to not go to work tomorrow. But then again, as you say, I had a choice to stay or leave. I chose to leave and he proceeded to burn my sisters house down and beat my mother within an inch of her life. I hardly think that it is the same perceived fear as the one you may have about quitting your job and not being able to support yourself.
 
Edited for spelling


How about a man who beats his child with anything near at hand? 

A man who tells his 11-year-old son to go get him his pistol.  When the son returns with the pistol, the man makes him clean it and load it.  Then he tells the child to go get him a beer, and after he finishes the beer, he will kill the child and his mother.  The child gets the beer and also a butcher knife.  He tries to use the knife on his father, but gets pistol whipped over the head for his trouble. 

A man who found his wife and children not home when he got home.  The neighbors told him that they'd walked to the bus station.  The man drives to the bus station, finds his wife and children and proceeds to beat her within an inch of her life right there on the street.  He is 6'1", 200 lbs and she is 4'10" and 90 pounds, dripping wet. 

A man who comes in from work and finds his oldest daughter talking on the phone to a boy.  He rips the phone from the wall and beats her over the head with the receiver until she's out cold.  She still does not enjoy talking on the phone to this day.

The boy was signed into the Navy at 17 years of age, because his mother feared for his life.  He is my father.  The 4'10" woman was my Granny.  My Aunt was the one struck by the phone.  These incidents are all very real and there are many, many more.

Only by marriage or military service did the children escape.  Death of my grandfather is how my Granny finally escaped. 

Not because they didn't want it, they did.  They just did not have a way out.  There were no shelters back then to help women and children.  There were no questions at hospitals when wives and children were brought in beaten and bloody.  If they were brought in at all.

Another man, another time swats his one-year-old son so hard on the butt that the child flies across the room.  He beats and kicks the childs mother, rapes her until she can hardly walk.  She takes an axe handle to him and he leaves.  She packs her children up and they leave.  A year later, she goes back to him.  Why?  Because battered women love their husbands and they want to believe them every time they're told it will never happen again.  This woman's son suffers from bipolarism and possibly schizophrenia.  Genetic gifts from his father.  Her youngest daughter suffers a physical genetic condition which places her in a wheelchair for her entire life.  The woman isn't able to care for these children on her own, the boy needs constant supervision, which she cannot provide if she has to work to support them.  Babysitters are not an option, as he's 13 years old and a very large and strong kid.  Babysitters do not take on kids like him.  The woman would leave if she could, but she's stuck like chuck.

This is my sister and her children.  They live life wondering when Daddy will blow up next. 

To blithely say that you can get out if you want out is simply not true for everyone.  It is much easier to say than to do.

It's really easy for people outside the situation to say...
Just leave.

These people are not practicing D/s.  They must be submit to survive, which does not encompass anything that we do. 




What if he died?  How would they survive then?


Life insurance and the children would also get SSI as they are minors.  If her son gets to go to school full time next year, it's possible she could work a part-time job, but certainly not full-time.  A part-time job wouldn't support them alone, but it might with the insurance to back them up and the SSI.  Provided of course that she takes the insurance money to a financial counselor for advice and assistance.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 5:33:24 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
Good job Proprietrix.......I nominate you to write our mission statement next

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Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 5:39:45 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
One of the most damaging that I see commonly is that somewhere there is a message being sent that people here, especially Dominants, have higher levels of morals, ethics, integrity and honesty.



There goes my plans for creating a superior gene pool.

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 6:33:17 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
So, you won't help your sister then if she wanted to get away? Your family wouldn't help eachother? Your granny couldn't leave earlier so as to be on the bus when granpa got home? Victims always have an excuse for why they can't leave.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 6:38:25 PM   
Skuggi


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline
I belive Jim Morrison said it best: People are strange, when you're a stranger...

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Fetish Iceland
----------------------------------
I lurk in the shadows of the deepest and darkest corners of your mind!

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: The Lifestyle is.....and other pervasive myths. - 6/2/2006 6:40:51 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

So, you won't help your sister then if she wanted to get away? Your family wouldn't help eachother? Your granny couldn't leave earlier so as to be on the bus when granpa got home?

Victims always have an excuse for why they can't leave.


That in and of itself is a vicious cycle and may even involve some type of mental illness as well.  But for the children to be suffering abuse, is beyond sadness.   

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 160
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