quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Lizi..I didn't find your words harsh at all. I guess that could be because I know you and the spirit you intended in them, or because I'm a jaded bitch, whicheves, but I don't think you did or said anything "wrong".

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I'm glad you pointed out that I seemed offended as I worked (I thought) to make my reply not be like that. I'll have to try harder next time. I kind of realized that what I said might seem rather sharp, but I honestly didn't intend it to be that way. It was meant to be an offering of another view.

Yes, I was kind of annoyed at the fairy tale the OP put out there, and she was completely within her rights to do so. I do heartily subscribe to the opinion that we all bring different things to the table here, can't tell you how much I've learned because of that. To me, her version is fairly idealistic, it also has a strong component of this is what is right, period. I think most adults get just a little pissy, myself included, when we're told how to go about our lives. To me the biggy was that it seemed she chose to present herself in a manner that was more than espousing this for herself. It seemed to me that she was putting out her opinion as more of how things should be on a common basis. I freely admitted in the reply that you quoted that I have a hot spot when others purport to speak for me or try to tell me what to do. I feel that I can intelligently choose those things for myself.

Although this OP did say it was her view, it was her way of communicating her view that put me off so to speak. I do absolutely espouse anyone's choice for themselves, and she can say what she wants, I just wanted to also say something too. I dont think I was going out of my way to take offense, but rather standing up for a different point of view. If I were to be completely transparent with you, I'm not actually sure if there is any logical reason I can tell you why her view of BDSM got under my skin, other than it seemed to be that she was saying hers was the one true way. I'm usually not bothered by people who do that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I was thinking maybe it was a female thing, too, assuming you didn't have history with the OP. That women don't tend to give other women much quarter, and esp the submissive ones. Errrm - IMO. Anyhoo, nuff generalising....


Personally, I think this "one-true-way ism" stuff is overblown. That pretty much anyone offering a personal opinion is espousing their one true way to the public. Now when the one starts telling the many that they're doing it wrong, yeah, I can see people donning the war paint....

Anyway, seems you're human (not perfect), which only adds to your overall charm. ;)

Focus.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

The one-way truism stuff/my way is the best way is annoying, and it grates on me no matter who says it. Some measure of being receptive to learning new things, or having a little humility, will always take you further than actively promoting the better than thou thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

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ORIGINAL: lizi

I'm really glad you got something out of her words xXLithiumXx, I really didn't except for annoyance. You see her point of view as not being jaded, I'd rather be jaded. Then I won't be disappointed when people do the things that they do. Doesn't mean I'm not able to find beauty in the world or be surprised by moments of bliss....it just means that I have a more practical view of things and I like it that way. I'm also always ready to be surprised, I don't expect the worst from people, but I don't always expect the best either. When I get the best, it's a gift, not an expectation.

I'm not upset that others see things differently, I'm kind of glad they do, I just dont' have much use for the things that others 'think' should be meaningful to me. The wide-eyed idealistic thing isn't for me anymore, it brought me too much pain long ago. I'm done with it and glad for it. Life is much more peaceful and serene for me now that i get how things work.

Just another example of how things are indeed different for different folks. Carry on whoever wants to with the fairy tale view of things- glad it works for you.

I usually like reading your posts - all level-headed and sensible etc - but (uh-ohhh...) you seem to be going somewhat out of your way to take offense with this particular OP.

Just curious; what's the biggy? The topic is titled "My way of seeing it..." and the OP has since reiterated the obvious that it is just *her* opinion. I get it that the likes of Awareness, SB and NS rarely miss an opportunity to remind us how we're all small-time and how much they don't give a shit about anything blah freakin' blah (like we regulars need reminding...) but for you, your posts seem way out of character to me.

And I don't like it when my little world isn't making sense.... [8|]

Anything? :)

Focus.