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RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 10:22:28 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

He implied something nasty about RS....which led to a few people being bitter toward him. That led to him making a remark about them not adding to the op. Which led to you telling him to get used to it. You did not have an understanding of why they did it. Which is what I pointed out. That and the fact that he has offered nothing to the thread but starting it.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 181

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 10:25:09 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

Awareness, thank you for the answer. I thought that this was a money issue for you and it seems I was right. The root of all evil or something like that. And I still think you are wanting the world to change. I am not being nasty at all when I wish you luck with that.

You're missing the point. You asked why people don't ask about ProDomming and I pointed out it was the presence of filthy lucre in an interpersonal exchange. Now you're comparing ProDomming to being a whore which is pretty much exactly what I said in the first place.

quote:

As for the other things. Yes, I am being paid to not do what I want. Think of it like the old hooker joke...A man doesn't pay a hooker for sex. He pays her to leave after the sex.

Yeah, hookers just want to cuddle up to their johns afterward whereas the average man just wants a woman to fuck off after sex. That joke is the kind of thing feminists cite when justifying misandry. It is, however, a rather naive viewpoint.

quote:

Pro domming(in my opinion) is much the same. No one is paying me to do something that makes me happy(though on many levels it does) They are paying me to make them happy then leave. And yes I am aware that I just compared being a pro dom to being a hooker. To be honest I don't see why people get so upset about it. In the other thread I compared being a mechanic to being a hooker. The simple and truthful fact is we all trade things for money, for comfort, for a bunch of shallow reasons. If you are above such activity I feel good for you, but I don't see the world changing do to your opinion.

A mechanic provides a service with clear and identifiable value. ProDomming feeds a need which can never be satisfied and exploits the weaknesses of its customers.

I'll give you a parallel. There's a company called Zynga which makes Facebook games by the truckload. Zynga's games use operant conditioning to condition players to keep playing and to apply psychological pressure to spend money. They exploit the psychological mechanisms which compliance professionals exploit to manipulate us but they do it automatically to millions of people. It's a version of an advertising executive's wet dream - customers forced to buy because they're not educated enough to defend themselves against techniques which bypass their rational decision-making processes.

Now, it was pretty blatantly clear to me from the very start that Zynga's process is exploitative and immoral. Stories of parents neglecting and even killing children because they were engrossed in a Facebook game can be found here http://stopthemadnessnow.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/mothers-kill-children-over-facebook-games/ and here http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/10/28/baby-killed-interrupting-moms-facebook-time/ . Now these are extreme examples, but they represent the capacity of exploitative mechanics to negatively impact people's lives.

However it's only after a few years have passed that people are beginning to wake up to this reality. And the point at which it'll hit critical mass is when the issue becomes sufficiently large to be considered a social ill and thus require legislation. However before that point, someone needs to take a philosophical view which recognises the source of the problem. ProDomming is unlikely to ever hit that critical mass, but that doesn't stop someone from having a philosophical view that it's fundamentally a bad idea.

quote:

Do you hate gigolos too? Do you feel sorry for the wealthy women that pay them?

Hate? I pointed out that ProDommes are regarded with cynicism because they're fundamentally whores and I added that I personally think the dudes who utilise them are being phenomenally unwise, but mischaracterising a cool evaluation of something as hate really does imply you're ready to play the victim card far too easily.

quote:

Again about the last part. The part you said you didn't think about. What you originally said " A ProDomme never forgets that every post has the potential to suck in more clients" I'm sorry but you are wrong, and I have pointed out why you are wrong. I don't think about it so not "all" do. And as for having url in a name...don't we all have those once we have made a profile?

ETA- I should read all the posts before I answer one. Was your comment about urls really an attack on Blushs? I thought you were making a statement about women on the other side but if you weren't...that is just childish.

No, constantly taking random stabs at someone when they're not talking to or about you is childish but that seems to be the level that she - and many other women - operate at on this forum. I made a point directly relevant to the discussion. "I have secret techniques" and a URL in your sigline isn't advertising? Really? How naive are you?

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 182

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 10:26:29 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

That was the interesting thing about it, everybody is just kinda seeing what they want to see.

Anyway, not interested in that drama, that's somebody else's bailiwick - my only comment might be that recipes for mutton can't be too far behind.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 183

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 10:33:24 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

That isn't totally true. I read all of it and didn't take part in that which should not have been payed attention to. You on the other hand had to add a little snark of your own. Making yourself into a hyprocrit is not the answer(my two cents)

ETA- Now back to the op, or in this case Awareness.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 1/29/2012 10:34:26 AM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 184

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 10:41:59 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

That isn't totally true. I read all of it and didn't take part in that which should not have been payed attention to. You on the other hand had to add a little snark of your own. Making yourself into a hyprocrit is not the answer(my two cents)

ETA- Now back to the op, or in this case Awareness.

mea culpa, absolutely, fact is I was bored - I usually avoid prodomme threads entirely, I've got no dog in that fight, they're all pretty much the same usually, so naturally one tends to expect more of the same - so I didn't read all of it, but responded directly to the OP, same comment I would make in any prodomme thread if I was bored enough to comment - it says "pro" right there!

Didn't start reading it till then, and that's when it got interesting, and that's why I congratulated you for your restraint.

< Message edited by xssve -- 1/29/2012 11:10:54 AM >

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 185

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:02:10 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I will admit that now I have missed something. All I was trying to do was better understand why you hold the view you do. I actually agree with some of the things you said. But if I missed the point than perhaps my thinking you were right was infact wrong.

I don't like feminists. I am a much bigger monster than they could hope to be. But that was not the point. In most cases when people pay for things they do not pay for what the person doing the service wants. They hope they can limit it to only what they want.

As for social ills.....oh fuck I really don't have it in my to be polite about this. Stupid people should die. Idiots shouldn't be allowed to breed. And anyone over the age of 15 that is not aware most people will do anything they can to get what they want out of you should be forced to wear headgrear to protect the soft spot on their head. Sorry but that really is how I see it. I tell the kids in my life damn near daily that if they are going to do something stupid they should not expect me to protect them. They are no longer small children.

Honestly I am really getting tired of talking about Blushes but what she said was about a different topic. Or do you disagree with my saying that what she does and pro domming are not the same thing? Wait don't answer that, I'm sure I know the answer. So I will just go with what I wanted to say before. You said all pro dommes...not blushes...not some...all. And seeing as I am one of those all isn't it a bit naive(what is that your favorite word) of you to assume you can say what we all do when I don't do any of those things. (and for the record neither do about seven other pros I know here on collarme that don't tell anyone what they do for a living)

Having said all of that. Thank you for your opinion.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 1/29/2012 11:03:04 AM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to Awareness)

Post #: 186

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:10:38 AM

xXLithiumXx

Posts: 723
Joined: 9/2/2008
From: Hell, Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I just put the signature in this month.

Not saying Awerness is correct about your motives, but you didn't put your signature in this month.
It's been up at the very least since the beginning of December (I don't know if it's been up even longer than that), when the blog it links to prompted me to ask you several questions about your line of work.

I wasn't going to post on this thread at all. Like many, I saw where it seemed to be going from gate, but it has derailed to normal-ville, and I was compelled to read on.

First- Blushes I commend you. I think it is awesome that you do what you do. I know you may not remember me, it has been several years, but you and I actually did meet when I lived in Louisville. I maintain, as I always have, that you are an intelligent, well rounded, awesome person. When I saw that you were going to the pro aspect, I wanted to email you and have you walk me through a good way to start up on line, because when I lived in the Lou, I was working on some PD things there, but nothing significant. I had the space, the time, and the desire to do it- It seemed like the natural course of things. But that was real life, and on line is a bit different. So, I was curious. I just didn't want to seem nosy or what have you.

Second- OP- If you want to start an intelligent conversation, it is best to START it that way. Not to throw out a vague, possibly insulting, totally bitter and half assed comment. But, seeing as you corrected it-whatever.

Finally- You can reduce ProDommes to hookers all you want, if that is what it takes to make it so you can lay down and sleep at night, but the two are not similar like you say. Hookers do what they do solely for the money, few actually enjoy what they are doing. For me, because I do not crave dominating another, and actually function much more happily as a sub, but I am a sadist to the very core of my being, working (what few times I did do it) as a Pro made me very happy.

I am odd in that I am not dominant, but sadistic, and not masochistic, but submissive. So, ProDomming worked really nicely for me. I got to submit, in that I would speak with the person before hand, let them set the tone and the scene, and I was able to give them what they wanted, so it satisfied my need to please, and to be of service. But I was also able to inflict pain, I was able to use humiliation and degradation-all things I love- and get that part of my BDSM soul fed.

For me, yes, the money was nice. But it fed so many aspects of who I was as a person. I miss it. Many times I think about turning my garage into a dungeon and doing it again. But, where I am now wont offer much in the way of clientele.

People look down on ProDomming because they reduce it to whining teenagers who have no idea how to do anything but throw a fit to get what they want. They think, like has been stated, that it is nothing more than prostitution, or that it is dirty and should be frowned on.

It's an enterprise just like any other, and people will hate you for doing what you love.

I think, if it is done responsibly, if it is done tactfully, then, why should anyone give a rats ass? And why should anyone feel the need or the right to pass judgement? I was pretty certain this lifestyle was not about judgement. So what if it isn't for you? I don't eat brussell(sp) sprouts because I feel they are aborted cabbage fetuses, does that mean I run around calling people who do baby killers?

There are those people out there that this kind of arrangement are ideal for. For whatever reason.

That doesn't make them fucked up.

_____________________________

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

You have to believe in yourself. -Tsun Tzu-

Resident Malkavian.

(in reply to Ishtarr)

Post #: 187

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:14:18 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

""I have secret techniques" and a URL in your sigline isn't advertising? Really? How naive are you?"

You implied that the reason I post here is because I'm trying to drum up business. I have been posting here for over six years. I have owned my business for over three years. I put my blog link up quite recently. (Ishtarr said early December maybe?)

I thought long and hard about it before I did, as I didn't want to seem as if I were "using" the site. I want to be seen as a valued contributer, and I do try to help when and where I can. Even if the "help" is just lightening things up a bit at times.

But then I noticed that other people had links in their siggies, so I thought that since I do contribute, and I'm not here just to promote myself, (we all know that the people who post on this side are far less likely to be customers of mine than the people on the other side) that I could also have a link in my sig. It would be disingenous of me to say that I don't hope to ever get a new customer every once in a while, but that is not why I post here. My posts hopefully speak for themselves. *shrugs* Just thought I'd share since Awareness has mentioned this a couple of times.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 188

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:18:22 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I can understand that. The fact that all prodom theads here seem the same is part of why I asked for different peoples opinions. See I have read and understand all the talk of money and social norms and issues people have about this but in my opinion the real isssue people can't deal with here is the fact that it is women. Well actualy that it is women, money, and sex. People seem to believe that women are, or should be, above some behaviours. That we shouldn't care about money. That sex should be some sort of sacred thing to us. That some things are okay if men do them but wrong if women do. You know there is another very old joke that says when asked nine out of ten teenage boys say they are having sex. While only three out of ten teen girls say they are. The joke of course being that someone has to be lieing. I have since the first time I heard the joke known that the answer is they are both lieing. That the truth is somewhere in the middle but because of things like social norms no one is willing to admit what the truth is and I find it realy sad. I think the same thing applys here. Somewhere between "they are all fake, only want money" and "they are professionals, providing a service" there is a truth that no one admits to.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 189

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:21:34 AM

payingoinker

Posts: 75
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

""I have secret techniques"

i love secret techniques :)

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 190

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:22:32 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker
Nice way to deflect from the real issue. I don't care what your thing is for farm animals or cartoon figures...but You and I both know the "real" issue

Note: This post in no way is meant to insinuate someone was involved or inclined into illegal activities

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker
From ResSad's Profile

.... sheep ... [edited by RS because the mods are TOSing the orginal and any replies to it]

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

i suggest you read his profile...pay attention to the captions of the photos if he hasn't taken it down already.

As far as your comment about taking down my pics because there are animals in them, I'll leave them for you to study. Maybe you could warn people that you also think I abuse cartoon characters because I have a SpongeBob Squarepants pillow in a cage? If you look carefully, there is a bag of Puppy Chow in that photo. I'm sure you can come with something for that. Seriously, why run around with just one foot in your mouth when you have two of them?

After crediting you for having experience and speculating that you made this post in sincerity, I asked you a question about what type of "feelings" you were talking about in your profile. Then I gave you some advice to clean up your profile so you don't look like an emotional mess. I presumed you were rational enough to know I was talking about how your profile made you look, not who you really are as a person. I even extended my wishes for you to find a suitable partner with a heart of gold.

Please forgive me for being presumptuous. I retract my advice as your profile seems an accurate reflection of who you are. I will comment on it no further. I hope you find the comforts you need.

BTW, that's a goat not a sheep. The truth behind the photo is that having a goat as a fan boy is far more embarrassing than your attempted jibe and I have already shared it on CollarMe. When the goat attacked my new girl because it was jealous my old girl was gone . . . well, that's when you get T-shirts made and it becomes a local dungeon conversation topic. Maybe if you ram your head into enough stuff, we can make a T-shirt for you too?

Goat Story

I told you your other foot would fit in your mouth. The "real issue" is the topic of your thread and the replies that relate to it, which I address in my every reply. You are the one derailing the thread and deflecting from the issue. Continue your insults and I will continue giving you enough rope to hang yourself with. I am a sadist and enjoy watching you humiliate yourself as much as you enjoy doing it to yourself.

As far as your knowledge and mine having common ground, I will once again dispense some sincere advice. Your insistence on accusing me of illegal activities violates the TOS. You have occasionally interacted constructively with others in this thread. You could benefit from these forums, but that won't happen if you get yourself banned. I predict that if you continue to proffer insults about illegal activities that already got your post and all the replies quoting it pulled, you will get banned.

So man up and take what I said in the light it was given. Feel free to disagree with me about my observations of your profile making you appear emotionally volatile and stop calling people child molesters.

So what should your T-shirt say? "Got Banned" or "Gives Good Thread" ... the choice is yours.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to payingoinker)

Post #: 191

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:22:48 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

Consider the source Blushes. Someones got sand in their foreskin about pros.
Keep on doing what you do... fuck the ignorance.
You have contributed more sense and fun and enlightenment than all of the whiners put together.
dont let them grind you down

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 192

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:26:58 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Lithium, where did we meet?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to xXLithiumXx)

Post #: 193

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:29:44 AM

payingoinker

Posts: 75
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline

Can I ask another question without being attacked? I see some of the attackers are still at it so I am bit gun shy.

< Message edited by payingoinker -- 1/29/2012 11:30:58 AM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 194

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:33:19 AM

xXLithiumXx

Posts: 723
Joined: 9/2/2008
From: Hell, Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Lithium, where did we meet?

I believe I had dinner at your house.

_____________________________

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

You have to believe in yourself. -Tsun Tzu-

Resident Malkavian.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 195

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:33:55 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

i suggest you read his profile...pay attention to the captions of the photos if he hasn't taken it down already.

Good suggestion. Thanks for the heads up.

RS....I havn't perved your profile in a while and I have to say. Nice pics. You have a great sense of humor, I just wish you were closer to Michigan.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to payingoinker)

Post #: 196

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:35:47 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

Can I ask another question without being attacked? I see some of the attackers are still at it so I am bit gun shy.

Dude really? Man up and stand by your actions here, you are the one who attacked. If some of the people who reacted to it are around and still testy then I think that's called reaping what you sow. You've sowed dissension. If you didn't want it then you shouldn't have done it.
I think I've got more balls than you do at this point.

This is just a big wind-up isn't it? You're just playing games, no one could be this obtuse.

(in reply to payingoinker)

Post #: 197

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:37:20 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

I can understand that. The fact that all prodom theads here seem the same is part of why I asked for different peoples opinions. See I have read and understand all the talk of money and social norms and issues people have about this but in my opinion the real isssue people can't deal with here is the fact that it is women. Well actualy that it is women, money, and sex. People seem to believe that women are, or should be, above some behaviours. That we shouldn't care about money. That sex should be some sort of sacred thing to us. That some things are okay if men do them but wrong if women do. You know there is another very old joke that says when asked nine out of ten teenage boys say they are having sex. While only three out of ten teen girls say they are. The joke of course being that someone has to be lieing. I have since the first time I heard the joke known that the answer is they are both lieing. That the truth is somewhere in the middle but because of things like social norms no one is willing to admit what the truth is and I find it realy sad. I think the same thing applys here. Somewhere between "they are all fake, only want money" and "they are professionals, providing a service" there is a truth that no one admits to.

That's why you have to split it into different value systems to get the whole picture, because you can't simply say one thing or the other and be telling the whole story, it's not that simple.

It is a sacred thing, for me anyway, and I don't like mixing Mammon into it myself, so I just try to avoid doing that, myself - but I've never known a religion that turned down offerings.

< Message edited by xssve -- 1/29/2012 11:38:02 AM >

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 198

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:38:12 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Lithium, where did we meet?

I believe I had dinner at your house.

If you are who I think you are, I owe you a HUGE apology. I didn't understand much of anything at the time, and didn't know how to open my mind to others' ways. I am very sorry for my obnoxiousness. (all the drinks HM was pouring down me that night didn't help...)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to xXLithiumXx)

Post #: 199

RE: ProDoms are fake? - 1/29/2012 11:40:11 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

Can I ask another question without being attacked? I see some of the attackers are still at it so I am bit gun shy.

Dude really? Man up and stand by your actions here, you are the one who attacked. If some of the people who reacted to it are around and still testy then I think that's called reaping what you sow. You've sowed dissension. If you didn't want it then you shouldn't have done it.
I think I've got more balls than you do at this point.

This is just a big wind-up isn't it? You're just playing games, no one could be this obtuse.

Of course you do.

I think I stole this from Lucy's avatar

Attachment (1)

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 200

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