Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Are the submissives here really submissive?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? Page: <<   < prev  4 5 6 [7] 8   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 10:55:58 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
JanahX, while I tend to agree with you, I don't think that that's really the OP's problem.  At first, I couldn't figure out why this topic had gone so many pages and then I got the impression that he has some idea of what he wants, but has not been able to articulate it to himself very well.  In other words, he doesn't really know what he wants, and has been placing the blame on prospective subs for not understanding his dynamic.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 11:02:49 AM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline
Here is what the OP says in his profile:

"There seems to be more and more women who just want the man to DO everything for them while they do nothing but sit on their bums, sleep, shop, and perhaps drink wine in the tub and sit back and enjoy it. Again this is not submission, it is domination to demand the guy does all the work while you do nothing in the relationship.
As a Dom, I'd never make MY submissives do all the work while I sat on my bum, even if I was broke and out of work I'd be out looking for a job." (emphasis added)

So here is the thing.

The OP uses the word "work" three times in this description, but he is using it to mean different things each time (in other words, yes, yet again, the devil is in the details - what does he mean by "work" in each of the contexts in which he uses the term? Sometimes he means household tasks, sometimes he means professional work outside the home, but it is entirely unclear when he means what, and therefore, somewhat difficult to truly understand what he means).

The OP feels that Domination = demand the other person does all the work while you do nothing in the relationship.

The OP also feels that even if he were out of work he would be doing something i.e., be out looking for a job (which to me sounds like the OP would then require the submissive to do everything else to keep the household above water, as long as he, the Dominant, were searching for work).

Other than "searching for work", where does the OP talk about what he brings to the table as part of the D/s relationship that he seeks? He states that "a submissive having a career or not is not a problem as long as other work gets done by someone/somehow", but again, does not talk about what he means by "other work" and does not talk about what specifically he would do for the submissive in return. And if he is fine with the other work getting done by "someone/somehow", then what is wrong with him doing the "other work" (whatever he means by this) by himself.

Sorry, someone correct me if I am wrong, but is not a D/s relationship still a two-way street - a give and take as defined by the specific parties involved?

To the OP - clarifying in your own mind what the give and take of a D/s relationship would be for YOU will greatly enhance your search. You need to understand what you bring to the table, what you expect someone else to bring to the table and how, exactly, you expect the give and take of this to work. I think you would benefit from greater specificity in your profile about what you want, but also what you can give.


< Message edited by fucktoyprincess -- 2/6/2012 11:04:26 AM >


_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 11:30:15 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
Steven - I couldnt disagree more. What he wants is a sub. How and why would subs respond to him, when he doesnt show any attributes of being dominant? How would he even recognize a sub if he stumbled across one? If he is on this website looking for a sub - then why would he put what he does in his profile? Who the hell would respond to that mess? To me .. thats not being very smart- nor showing any abilty to lead or even the slightest hint to figure basic things out. In fact - its what I would call the very opposite.

I have stated this before and I'll state it again: an original profile untouched is a great insight to whom the poster is and why they might be having troubles. Many, many many doms complain of the lack of the quality of subs on this site and how they all are oh so shitty. I tend to question: who is the complaint coming from? And what I see is - 99.99999% of the time - that these peoples ego are mistaken, and they place themselves in a dominant catigory. Give me a break. I sometimes wonder if half of these people can tie their own shoestrings.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 2/6/2012 11:44:39 AM >


_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 2:02:40 PM   
subdomcpl


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline
my submissive is an absolute. her actions thoughts and manner describe her more completely then the term.

(in reply to brder)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 3:41:29 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
Man, talk about hitting the nail on the head. Does this guy have our number, or what?
Am I right? Am I right?

quote:

brder:

I do like the term "pillow princesses" - for these women, vanilla or bdsm, who think that the man should do everything for them--clean house, work 2 jobs, raise family, take them out, even do their laundry. There seems to be more and more women who just want the man to DO everything for them while they do nothing but sit on their bums, sleep, shop, and perhaps drink wine in the tub and sit back and enjoy it.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 5:02:16 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
He forgot about the part about eating BON BONS ALL DAY

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 5:03:16 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
Who gave you bonbons?? WTF, why are teh subz getting all the good pressies?

Discrimination!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 5:04:26 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
here ... have a bon bon ...




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 5:08:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
All RIGHTY then!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 5:42:58 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
Those will be perfect accompaniment while watchinng soap operas, perched atop my satin pillow!

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 5:50:25 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
~FR~

The snark seems to be thicker on the forums than it used to be.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 6:54:00 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
You definately need a bonbon




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 7:20:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

here ... have a bon bon ...





If you're passing them out, could I have the dark chocolate one all the way on the right?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 7:57:04 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
You can keep the bon bon's but will take a bourbon or some Jameson.

So how the hell is everyone doing?

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 8:54:49 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
Nice to see you posting again, Orion :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 9:34:22 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
May not be around long. Having a difficult time adjusting to the new way of posting things. Thanks for the welcome back and glad to see a few familiar faces.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 9:36:06 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
I hope you do stay, I've always enjoyed your posts.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 9:39:54 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
Same here GreedyTop, but feel out of place a bit.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 10:27:35 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
So a sub who knows what they want and what they will and will not accept from a relationship.. isnt a sub..

a sub who expects some sort of effort equality... isnt a sub...

Well then that clears up all the things i ever needed to know in life.

Im not really a sub and thats all there is too it...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? - 2/6/2012 11:05:18 PM   
jennileigh8182


Posts: 173
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

So a sub who knows what they want and what they will and will not accept from a relationship.. isnt a sub..

a sub who expects some sort of effort equality... isnt a sub...

Well then that clears up all the things i ever needed to know in life.

Im not really a sub and thats all there is too it...



I can't tell you how many coughs "dominants" coughs have told me that very thing.

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 140
Page:   <<   < prev  4 5 6 [7] 8   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? Page: <<   < prev  4 5 6 [7] 8   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109